


The Mask of the Redeemer

by SoManyJacks



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angst, Arguing, Blood, Blood and Injury, Canon-Typical Violence, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Dubious Consent, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Eventual Happy Ending, Faked Suicide, Fist Fights, Fix-It of Sorts, Gun Violence, Headaches & Migraines, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Insults, Knotting, M/M, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, No mpreg, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Assault, Praise Kink, Redemption, Rough Sex, Shock, Shooting, Suicidal Thoughts, Trauma, Vomiting, did I say canon divergence?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:34:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 92,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25390180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoManyJacks/pseuds/SoManyJacks
Summary: Akechi is an omega pretending to be an alpha, and Ren Amamiya is an alpha masquerading as a beta. When Akechi's heat finally betrays him, his sworn rival/temporary teammate is all too happy to pick up the pieces. But who is using whom? And will Akechi ever escape the torturous grasp of the trickster god in his mind?
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 393
Kudos: 776
Collections: Marigolds Discord Recs





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all, this is my first A/B/O fic and I am using some non-traditional elements for that trope, so I hope you roll with me on it! I will also be bringing in some gameplay elements from Persona 5 Royal (including confidant outings), but there will be no storyline spoilers from P5R. Please mind the tags.
> 
> Edit: this fic now [comes with a playlist!](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7kj7h0SEnP0II1KFpBE37S?si=YccOQfyEQeOrYNrqV_X9SQ)

Late afternoon was the worst possible time to be in a hurry. Akechi dodged and weaved through the crowds in the subway platform, trying to keep his rising panic in check.

He should have made the switch to Mementos outside the station; it would have been much easier to find a spot to access the MetaNav without being seen. But with his heat rising, he wasn’t exactly thinking clearly, was he?

He decided to go back, head for the stairs. Turning too quick, someone slammed into his shoulder, hard. Normal enough for this time of day, but Akechi was running out of time. He could already feel the flush of fever which signaled the beginning of his heat. Of course the guy who ran into him was an alpha; Akechi saw his nostrils flare in the split second they made eye contact. Then he turned all the way, taking a possessive step towards Akechi.

It took every ounce of willpower to slither through the crowd and away. He just needed to get to Mementos and everything would be fine.

_ Finally.  _ Seeing an opening for privacy, Akechi darted behind an out-of-service vending machine. With shaking hands, he activated the Nav. The sounds of the subway faded; in the sudden quiet Akechi’s ragged breathing seemed too loud.

He shouldered his bag and sprinted for the entrance, all too aware of his own scent. As far as he knew, the Phantom Thieves weren’t planning a trip to Mementos in the next few days, but he didn’t want to take the risk that the smell would linger. It wasn’t so much that Akechi had any fear of them taking advantage -- aside from the omega Haru-chan, the Phantom Thieves were all betas -- but Akechi didn’t want them to know he was masking his scent.

As far as risky behavior, hadn’t he already gambled? Shido provided him with a drug that would fool everyone into thinking Akechi was an alpha, and it certainly did that. But the price was high.  _ Your normal heat will be many times stronger, _ the doctor had said, handing over the pills.  _ Even these won’t be able to mask your scent then. _

At the time, it seemed a fair tradeoff. His heats only came twice a year; so what if it was a little more intense? 

That first heat had taken him unaware, churning through his body with frightening speed. The walls of his dorm were paper-thin and had combined ventilation; everyone would be able to hear and smell that he was in heat. Plus, he lived on an alpha-only floor. It seemed inevitable that he would be discovered.

In desperation, he turned again to Shido for help, looking for a safe place to ride it out. Shido gave him the keycode to his summer home. It seemed an incredibly generous gesture; on arrival Akechi discovered the home was occupied. Shido had ‘forgotten’ that he also promised use of the property to one of his associates, a disgusting, greasy alpha three times Akechi’s age with a penchant for sadism. He was all too happy to keep the desperate young detective ‘company’.

It took Akechi a week to recover. Physically, anyway. 

He’d be damned if he let that happen again. This time, Akechi timed his heat down to the minute, obsessively tracking his temperature and symptoms. But all the data in the world wouldn't help if he didn't have a safe place to go. Then it occurred to him: the rest areas in Mementos were comparatively safe and private. Not comfortable surely, but in a perverse way a part of Akechi relished the idea of toughing it out.

And so, he prepared for the worst. It was Saturday afternoon of a long weekend; he had no classes or TV appearances until Tuesday, by which time the worst of his heat would have passed. He had plenty of food, a change of clothes, a spare battery charge for his phone, and a variety of plugs to take the edge off his... physical needs. 

More importantly, now that he was “working” with the Phantom Thieves, he would know far in advance if they were planning a trip to Mementos. The team already was beginning to rely on his prowess in battle; surely they wouldn’t dream of training without him.

Akechi didn’t bother with stealth, opting to sprint past any shadows that were awake. He was only two levels down; normally he could defeat anything around here with his eyes closed. 

Then again, normally he wasn’t already oozing slick and panting with need.

He came to a rest area. Better and better -- the glass enclosure was pasted over with posters, making it comparatively private. With a groan of relief, he ran inside.

The smell of alpha was the first thing to register in his awareness, followed an instant later by the sight of a familiar shadowy, black-clad form lounging on one of the benches.

Akechi stumbled to a halt. “What the hell?”

“Senpai,” Ren drawled. “Thought you’d never get here.”

“How -- what -- but --” There was so much wrong with the situation that Akechi’s mind simply stalled out. Had Ren followed him? How had Akechi not noticed? How had he gotten here first? And most importantly, why was he reeking of alpha, the musk so strong that Akechi was dizzy with it? 

“But you’re a beta,” he finally spluttered.

Ren chuckled. “Nope. I just have a  _ very  _ talented doctor.”

Akechi was too worked up to remark upon the implications of his inflection. “You’re lying to the others??”

“Also nope. They all know. I take alpha-blockers most of the time so that everyone feels comfortable. It wouldn’t really be fair otherwise, wouldn’t you say?” Ren grinned, batting his eyelashes pointedly. 

Given that Akechi was trying to use his sway as an alpha to cow the others, it felt like a slap in the face. He wanted to tell Ren to fuck off, but he was meant to be endearing himself to the Phantom Thieves, gaining their trust. He was meant to be doing all sorts of things, actually. At the moment, though, most of his brainpower was focused on his heat.

After a few seconds of awkward silence, Ren stood up. Akechi could see the gleam of his teeth. A fresh gout of slick seeped from him as he imagined those teeth sinking into his neck. 

At this proximity, Ren’s scent was overpowering. Akechi breathed it in, catching himself as he leaned closer. 

Incredibly, Ren took a step away. “Wow, you’re really in it, huh. This because of whatever crap you’re taking to mask your scent?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Akechi mumbled. He refused to sit, swaying stubbornly where he stood. Now that he wasn’t running, his sweat felt very cold against his skin. His teeth began to chatter.

Ren’s eyes widened. “Shit, you’re really in bad shape,” he said. He put a wrist on Akechi’s forehead. “You’ve got a fever.”

“I  _ know  _ that,” Akechi said, gritting his traitorous teeth together. It was either that or groan at the contact, and that was not an option.

He still couldn’t believe that Ren had been able to hide this from him. How was it possible? If he could hide this, what other secrets might he have tucked away? 

But it wasn’t a secret, he reminded himself. Everyone else knew. Everyone but him. 

**_Even as a supposed alpha, you have no standing with the group._ **

Unlike the other thoughts running helter-skelter through his mind, this one had a voice -- Loki’s voice, specifically. It manifested when he was weak, whispering doubts and self-loathing into the deepest corners of his mind.

Akechi tried to ignore it. Distracted, he felt a tugging sensation on his shoulder. “Wha- what are --”

Ren was pulling the bag from his shoulder. “You need to sit before you fall over. Unless you’d like a concussion on top of everything else?”

With extreme reluctance, Akechi sat, wincing at the squelching sensation in his underwear. 

**_Pathetic._ ** __

Ren hefted the bag. “What do you have in here anyway? Rocks?” 

Lurching forward, Akechi held out a hand to stop him from opening it. “Don’t.”

“Not gonna,” Ren said. He set the bag under the bench. “Once you get ahold of yourself, I’ll take you back up. You need a doctor.”

“No!” Akechi tried to stand up, only managing to lose his balance. He swayed, stumbling backwards. “No doctors.”

Ren caught him easily. “Whoa, whoa. What’s the matter?” When Akechi didn’t answer right away, Ren inhaled sharply, hissing through his teeth. “You’re not planning to  _ stay  _ here, are you?”

Akechi wanted to relax into Ren’s arms more than he’d ever wanted anything in his life. **_Are you going to give in to him? Are you weak?_** He remained rigid, every muscle tense and aching. “What of it?”

“How long does your heat last?” A hard edge crept into Ren’s voice.

Akechi answered without thought: “Three days.”

_ “Three days??” _ Ren took a breath to calm himself when Akechi cringed. In a soft, calm voice, he asked, “Why didn’t you just stay home?” He brought a hand up to the back of Akechi’s head, gentling him like a pet.

At the contact, Akechi came completely undone, like a coil of wire suddenly unspooled. All at once he seemed to melt, flopping in Ren’s arms with a pathetic whimper. “Not safe.”

Swearing under his breath, Ren shifted to better support him. “Come to Leblanc. I promise, it’s safe. Boss is a beta, and the coffee beans and curry will cover the scent. No one will ever know.” His voice was soft, soothing.

“No!” Akechi struggled, wrenching out of the embrace. He felt even colder as he staggered forward, panting on the other bench. “No. I made my choice.”

Ren pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fine.” Without another word, he swooped out of the shelter in a whirl of coattails.

His sudden absence was startling; Akechi expected him to argue, or at least  _ try  _ to convince him. He certainly didn’t expect Ren to just up and leave. He’d never met an alpha that had the wherewithal to walk away from an omega in heat so easily.

**_You can’t even attract a lesser alpha, even in the middle of your disgusting heat._ ** __

And now he was alone, with nothing but Ren’s scent carving a hole in his awareness. He gave another pathetic mewl of discontent and loneliness. He’d been prepared to ride it out by himself, but that didn’t mean the loss of the alpha’s presence wasn’t palpable. 

Shivering, he rifled through his bag. He should have brought more clothes; he couldn’t make a proper nest with so little. Still, Akechi wrapped himself in the spare shirt, draping the trousers over his shoulders like a scarf. 

The shelter was none too clean. Akechi consoled himself with the knowledge that it wasn’t  _ real  _ grime, even if it did smell and feel like it. He spread his coat on the floor, pressing himself into the corner under the bench. With his bag as a pillow, it satisfied the barest minimum of his need for a safe nest. 

What he  _ really  _ wanted was to shove his largest plug into his ass and ride it, but he needed to eat first, otherwise his blood sugar would drop too far. He huddled under the bench, mechanically chewing and swallowing a protein bar. His fever continued to rise, his whole body spasming and trembling against the perceived cold. 

It was still better than his last heat. No amount of luxurious bedding, soft mattresses, or hot baths could make up for what he’d gone through. 

**_Oh come on, it wasn’t all bad._ **

The memory of that sick bastard’s knot splitting him open crashed into Akechi’s mind. He groaned in disgust and shame, even as his desperate entrance oozed and clenched. Balling his hands into fists, he knocked his own head, trying to dislodge the memory. “No no no, not now, not now.”

The sound of approaching footsteps pressed into Akechi’s awareness. Scrabbling, he tried to back even further into the corner. Before he could call out, he heard Ren say, “It’s just me.”

Ren appeared in the doorway with huge shopping bags in each hand, a third slung across his back. He winced when he saw Akechi on the ground. “Come on. You can’t stay like this.”

“I’m not leaving.” Despite all attempts to sound authoritative, it came out a whine. God, he was so pathetic.

“I didn’t say anything about leaving,” Ren said, squatting down. He held out a hand. “Just... look, sit on the bench for like two seconds, ok?”

Akechi didn’t move. “What is all this?”

Huffing in frustration at being rebuffed, Ren began to unpack: beach towels, a few small pillows, antibacterial cleaning cloths, baby wipes, a bunch of hot cans of soup and tea, and a booklet of crosswords. 

Akechi blinked rapidly, trying to figure out what was happening. His mind was too addled by hormones and fever to put it together. “You just bought all this?”

“At the discount store by the station, yeah,” Ren said. He shoved a can of soup at Akechi, then grabbed the antibacterial cloths. “Now get out of there and let me clean.” His voice had just enough authority that Akechi obeyed without question. 

It took most of the container of disinfectant cloths, but eventually Ren managed to clean the floor and benches to his satisfaction. As Akechi drank his soup, Ren ripped the tags off the towels and pillows, arranging them into a loose nest. “There,” he said. “It’s still shit, but it’s the best I can do on short notice.”

The hot soup had calmed the worst of his shivers. Akechi eyed the pile of towels. He really, really wanted to curl up in them. Of course, he wanted a lot of things at the moment. “Why are you doing this?”

Ren squinted at him. “Uh, I didn’t want you to be huddled under a filthy bench? Crazy of me, I know.” 

Akechi bit his lip. 

Ren rolled his eyes. “I’m not trying to take advantage of you, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

**_Don’t you wish he was?_ ** “Oh.”

“Do you want me to leave?” Ren crossed his arms; clearly, he was getting aggravated.

“No!” Akechi blurted. “No,” he said, softer. 

“Well, what  _ do  _ you want?”

Akechi looked up.  **_Why the hell does he have to be so fucking polite? Why doesn’t he just hold you down and fuck you? We can smell that he wants it._ **

Losing patience, Ren clenched his jaw. “There are these great things called  _ words,” _ he said. “I suggest you find some and use them.” A blast of angry pheromones followed.

Akechi actually flinched, biting back a whimper.

“Sorry,” Ren sighed. “Look. I know you’re deep in it. I can... help. If you want.”

“How selfless.” Despite his sarcastic intent, there wasn’t any venom in Akechi’s tone, just need. 

Ren looked up at the ceiling. “You really make it easy, don’t you?” he said under his breath. “Look. I helped Haru-chan during her last heat too. It’s no big deal. No obligations. Nothing...  _ binding. _ You’re on birth control, right?” 

Akechi nodded, his mouth dry. “And if I say no?”

“If you say no....” Ren shrugged. “I’ll just go around the corner, get myself off like ten times, and we’ll never talk about it again.”

It was so unexpected that Akechi burst out in nervous laughter, too loud and bright for the small space. “Apologies,” he said. 

It was so tempting to accept the offer of ‘help’. And yet, how could Akechi say yes? It would change everything between them, regardless of the pabulum Ren spouted about boundaries and obligations. And yet, surely things had already been irrevocably changed, the instant Ren had caught his pathetic omega scent? 

**_Since you’ve already fucked the situation with your carelessness, why not get yourself fucked too?_ **

As Akechi tried to think, Ren sighed. Pressing his lips together, Ren nodded ruefully. “Fine. I get it.” He started to stand up. 

Panic loosened Akechi’s tongue. “Stay. I... want you to.”

“Do you want...  _ help _ , or just company?”

Akechi swallowed hard. “Help,” he whispered.

Ren licked his lips. “Okay,” he said. 

He leaned down, putting an arm around Akechi’s back and guiding him toward the mound of towels and pillows. Once he got close, Akechi finally gave into the urge and leaned into him, nuzzling greedily at his neck and jaw. The sounds coming from his throat were shamefully needy. 

“Shh, it’s all right,” Ren murmured. They settled with Akechi half-curled in Ren’s lap. “Here, let’s just --” He tugged at the fly of Akechi’s pants. 

It took a moment to get them shoved down, tangled around Akechi’s ankles. The air felt painfully cold against his skin. Even still, he rocked his hips restlessly, his cock achingly hard and his entrance soaked with slick.

Ren took a deep breath. “Oh, you are a  _ mess,”  _ he said. 

Later, Akechi would question whether his words were meant to sound so reverent. In the moment, they seeped into his pores like a balm. He whined, flexing his hips, one hand tugging at his cock.

Reaching down, Ren easily curled two fingers into him. “Oh  _ fuck,” _ he breathed.

Whining, Akechi tried to fuck himself on Ren’s hand. His first climax was rapidly approaching. “More,” he moaned.

Ren nodded and shoved another finger in, pressing up. “Like this?”

Nodding fast, Akechi’s eyes rolled closed. He rested his head on the crook of Ren’s shoulder, mouthing along his jaw. “Close,” he panted. “Need -- nnngh, please, I need --”

“Shhh, shhh, it’s okay, don’t worry,” Ren said. “Breathe, deep breaths.” He worked open his pants. 

Akechi tried to breathe calm and slow, but his mouth watered at the sight and scent of Ren’s cock. It was already nearly purple, the knot seeming to throb.

Ren guided his hips, pulling him back towards his lap. “Can you --” The rest of his question was lost in a guttural groan as Akechi sank down, practically impaling himself in desperation.

As incredible as it felt to be full -- finally -- their position wasn’t very good for much. Akechi leaned forward to his hands and knees, allowing Ren to kneel behind him, and that was much better. 

Finally, Akechi was getting the fucking he so desperately needed. And yet it was still so impossibly  _ gentle.  _ Why was he being so damn polite?

Akechi only realized he’d spoken the thought aloud when Ren answered, “I don’t have to be.” He snapped his hips, thrusting hard.

With a keening moan, Akechi pushed backwards, too far gone for words. Even Loki couldn’t cut through the haze of lust.  _ Finally, finally, _ was all he could think. His orgasm started to build again, growing fast. 

“Holy shit,” Ren grunted. “Holy  _ shit,  _ you feel so  _ good,  _ Goro.”

Akechi moaned, moving faster, more insistent. With a shudder, he came with Ren’s cock buried in him, magnifying every clench and throb of his passage. Ren was still fully hard when he pulled out a moment later.  _ He didn’t come?  _

Ren caught him before his arms gave out. Somehow, he managed to pull Akechi backwards into the rudimentary nest of towels, shuddering as he rode out his climax. 

It only barely took the edge off, but at last Akechi felt a glimmer of his old self. Unfortunately, that also gave Loki free rein.  **_Someone call a reporter -- here’s an omega that can’t make his alpha come, even on his heat!_ **

“You didn’t....” Akechi panted, wincing in shame. He already wanted it again.

“Yeah, um. About that.” Ren cleared his throat. “I, uh, had to, um, take care of things before I could go shopping. Your scent, you know. Uh. Had an affect.” He nuzzled into Akechi's hair, breathing in deeply and exhaling a faint growl.

Now Akechi  _ really  _ wanted it again. “Did you?” He laughed weakly. Laughter and sex had never gone together before. It was strangely pleasant, and the pressure of Loki’s presence subsided a bit.

“Hey, gimme a break. It’s been a while.”

“I thought Haru-chan ‘helped you out’,” Akechi said, making finger quotes. He shifted his hips backwards, eyelids fluttering as he felt Ren’s still-hard cock nudge against him. Fuck, he wanted it in him. Now.

“That was like a month ago. Also I don’t know if you realize, but I sleep with a talking cat in my bed every night. Not a lot of privacy.” Ren nosed along the nape of Akechi’s neck. “Ruts are hell, let me tell you.”

At that, Akechi tried to turn his head. Too fast, as it turned out; the motion more or less forced the shell of his ear into Ren’s mouth. Ren bit down gently, both of them moaning at the sensation. 

“Doesn’t- doesn’t Haru-chan help you with those?” Akechi panted.

Ren grunted in the negative. “Doesn’t want my knot,” he said, still mouthing and nuzzling Akechi’s ear.

Just the idea of taking a knot, much less the gloriously throbbing one cradled against him now, had Akechi bucking and gasping. “Her loss.”

Ren froze, going utterly still. “Wait.” He pushed himself away from Akechi. “Wait, what?”

Akechi whined at the sudden loss of contact. Did he do something, say something wrong? He must have. He was still needy, still sopping wet and loose, primed for more. “I’m sorry?” he whimpered, confused.

**_You are so pathetic. Did you really think he wants to knot you?_ **

“No, it’s me, sorry, I... ugh, I’m not good at this,” Ren muttered, half to himself. “Are you saying... you don’t want me to... I mean...  _ do  _ you want me to knot you?”

Blinking, Akechi realized that Ren had a point. A knot wasn’t a bite, but it wasn’t meaningless, either. 

**_Take the knot, and use it against him in the future._ **

Loki’s unbidden thought was so debauched and mercurial that Akechi winced, beset with clarity for a fraction of a second. 

And yet, the logic was unassailable. He’d already lost control of the situation, revealing his duplicity by masking his true nature. If he allowed Ren to knot him, perhaps that would create a bond with the alpha which could be used to shift the balance of power in his favor? Ren had already shown himself to be too soft, scurrying around to make Akechi a nest instead of claiming him as a superior alpha would. At the very least, it would pit Akechi against Haru-chan, and that could prove useful.

There was a dim echo of distaste in his mind, to base himself with such manipulation. Was he truly considering taking a knot simply to raise his standing in the Phantom Thieves? Akechi could feel Loki gloating, knowing the outcome was already foretold: 

Akechi was  _ absolutely  _ going to take Ren’s knot. 

And yet, it was not so simple. In the two years since Loki had come to him, the mind of Goro Akechi became a maze of shuttered doors, blind corners, traps. Even Loki did not know all the twists and turns. There were a few thoughts, a few desires which were never acknowledged, and by virtue of being ignored, were protected. 

If, in extremely rare circumstances, his own, most secret desires aligned with those of Loki’s... well, it was better to let the trickster god think he’d won. 

“You mean, take your knot? I....” Akechi didn’t have to fake a needy whimper. “Maybe I do?”

Ren licked his lips, but his expression was guarded. After a few seconds that felt like a lifetime, he said, “Okay. But not here. You have to come back to Leblanc with me.”

Akechi gave a ragged, high-pitched groan of despair. “Now? Like this?” He whined, his hips flexing.

Ren’s lip curled upwards. “I didn’t say I wouldn’t fuck you.” He lunged forward, grabbing Akechi by the hips. 

In the next heartbeat, he was hilted in Akechi, just to the knot. Then he began to thrust, the motion of his hips slow and steady. Still, it wasn’t enough. (Would it ever be enough?) 

Akechi whined. “You... ngh. You don’t have to be so gentle.”

“Dammit, you’re in heat. Don’t tempt me.”

“I’m serious. I -- I want it.” Another quiet corner of desire, revealed. Because Akechi  _ did  _ like it rough. As much as he hated what happened during his last heat in retrospect, at the time he’d lapped it up like a damn puppy, wallowing in the pain as much as the pleasure. It was the humiliation he hated. 

“I might hurt you.” Ren was fucking him now in earnest.

“I can take it,” Akechi moaned. He bit his bottom lip, lest he start to beg. 

“Taking it isn’t the same as wanting it.” Ren wormed one hand under his shirt. Without warning, he pinched Akechi’s nipple hard, twisting it mercilessly.

Akechi squealed, back arching. “Oh! Oh yes, please yes,” he panted, no longer thinking. “More.”

Ren grunted, obliging him. “Mmm, I could listen to you forever.” 

Another orgasm began to build deep in Akechi’s core. He wanted more of everything -- more pain, more praise, more cock in his needy, greedy ass. His own member was left ignored, throbbing and leaking as it bobbed in the empty air. “Please, please, I need -- nngh, I need it?”

“Holy shit,” Ren panted, breathing into the nape of his neck. “Can you come without being touched?” 

Akechi nodded, half-ashamed.

“Show me?”

Why was there so much admiration in his voice? (And why wasn’t it enough?) Akechi winced. “More. Need... ngh.”

Most alphas would respond by fucking him harder, faster. Ren, damn him, actually slowed down, rolling his hips as if savoring every sensation. Yet, somehow, it really felt like  _ more, _ probably because his cock was now dragging along Akechi’s prostate for twice as long. At the same time, he pinched Akechi’s nipples even harder. “You feel so  _ good.  _ Please, come for me? I want to feel it.” 

**_What kind of alpha begs?_** Akechi could feel Loki’s confusion. And yet, that provided a diversion, a blind behind which he could hide, and thereby wallow in the praise that he craved. “Good?” he whined.

“So good,” Ren said. “So, so good. Ungh, I could -- fuck. Don’t want to ever stop. Just want this forever.” 

Akechi surrendered to the onslaught of Ren’s approval, his body tipping over into a mind-shattering orgasm. At the same time, Ren grunted low in his throat, the sounds coming together to form one long growl as he came, his cock pulsing hard enough that Akechi could feel it. 

Things went a bit hazy after that as Akechi’s body was flooded with hormones and endorphins thanks to the alpha’s spend. Ren settled them both in the makeshift nest, one arm curled possessively around Akechi’s torso. 

They caught their breath for a moment. Akechi knew that his heat would return in an hour or so, but for now, he was warm and comfortable and sated. 

Loki, of course, could not let such peace stand undisturbed.  **_Well isn’t this cozy._ **

The words curled in his mind like a whip; it was Loki’s favorite form of punishment when he felt that Akechi was too indulgent. Akechi whimpered, automatically trying to curl in on himself as if he could fend off the voice physically. 

“Hey, hey, shhh. What’s wrong?” Ren wrapped his arm around Akechi even tighter.

“Nngh, it’s nothing,” Akechi murmured.

“Are you cold?” Ren fumbled to pull a towel over them.

Akechi wanted nothing better than to relax, but the sound of Loki’s laughter ringing through his head was deafening. Since there was nothing he could do about it, he lashed out at the next available target: Ren. “Do you have to be so  _ nice?”  _ he snarled.

“Of course not. Eat shit and die.” Between Ren’s pleasant tone of voice, and the way he nuzzled affectionately at the nape of Akechi’s neck, there was literally nothing Akechi could do but laugh. 

Once he started, it was difficult to stop.

Ren made a guttural sound, half amusement, half arousal. “Don’t laugh, I can feel it in my junk.” He shifted his hips, squirming.

“Junk?” Akechi snorted.

“Dingus. Man meat. Johnson.” 

Akechi continued to giggle, even as he protested, “Stop, stop!”

There was a short pause. “One-eyed trouser snake?”

Akechi was laughing so hard that it was hard to draw breath. “I thought you wanted me to stop laughing?”

“Dunno, kinda getting into it I think.” He squirmed again, grinding his now-soft cock against Akechi’s ass.

“You are ridiculous.” Akechi took a deep breath as the last few jags of laughter worked their way out. Amazingly, Loki was silent and the pain was gone. In fact his presence was notably absent. Perhaps laughter really was the best medicine.

“You’re just figuring that out now?” Ren nuzzled his ear. “Boy, I sure had you fooled, huh?”

That sobered Akechi up, because he  _ had  _ been fooled. Rather drastically in fact. Ren said that the others knew he was taking alpha-blockers, but no one had told Akechi that. What else were they hiding from him?

Now that his heat had subsided enough to allow him to think clearly, Akechi remembered he had promised to go to Leblanc. He was entirely confident that if he changed his mind, Ren wouldn’t hold it against him. But perhaps this was the opportunity he needed to learn more about the secrets of the Phantom Thieves.

“If we’re going to Leblanc, we should leave soon,” Akechi said. “It won’t be long before my fever returns.” He began to push himself up.

“You mean it? You’re gonna come?” Ren’s eyes went wide with surprise.

Akechi blinked in his most disarming manner, not wanting Ren to change his mind. “Well, I certainly  _ hope  _ so.” 

Ren blinked, then a delighted grin bloomed across his face. Seeing it, something snagged in Akechi’s chest. Before it could take hold, Ren began to laugh, the sound bouncing around the hard surfaces of the train station. 

Belatedly, Akechi realized his inadvertent double-entendre. Rolling his eyes, he huffed and reached for the package of baby wipes, his lips twitching into a smile despite his best intention. “Here,” he said, taking a few of the wipes for himself before shoving the packet into Ren’s chest. “Maybe you can try cleaning up that dirty mind of yours.”

“Sorry, I’ll need a much bigger package,” Ren grinned.

Akechi raised an eyebrow. “Bigger package? Really?”

“Wait -- augh, that’s not what I meant!” Ren crowed, laughing even harder.

Watching Ren laugh with such abandon, it was impossible not to get swept up in it. Akechi couldn’t remember the last time he’d laughed so much. Even still, he didn’t forget what he had to do. It didn’t matter whether they were laughing or fucking -- Ren was nothing but a tool to use and then discard on Akechi’s quest for vengeance against Shido. 

If only it didn’t feel so good to laugh. 

  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akechi goes back to Leblanc. Nothing goes the way he expects, but he gets everything he needs and more.

Though Akechi’s heat was momentarily sated, it wouldn’t be long until his fever returned; as they returned to the real world, he began to shiver. He stumbled as quickly as he could behind Ren as they made their way through the labyrinthine subway station, not wanting to let his fatigue show. 

Once they were on the train, he all but collapsed into a seat. Thankfully, rush hour was long over and there was plenty of room. Ren sat next to him, exuding a subtle possessiveness which kept others at bay. Now that Akechi was sensitized to his scent, he wondered how he had ever believed Ren was a beta.

“You can sleep,” Ren said. “We’ve got about a half hour. Rest up.”

“No, I can make it.” Akechi gave a jaw-cracking yawn, his eyelids falling closed despite his best intention. “Just resting my eyes.”

It felt like only a few seconds later that Ren was shaking his shoulder. “Come on, we’re almost to the last stop.”

“Wha?” Akechi forced his eyes open. “Really?” He wiped his face.

As they left the train car, Ren put a hand under Akechi’s arm to help support him. “I already texted Boss to let him know you needed a place to stay. The cafe is closed, so you don’t need to worry about seeing anyone. And Morgana is going to stay with Futaba for a few days.” 

“W-wait.” Akechi clumsily pulled away. “You told them? About me being...?”

“Don’t be stupid, of course I didn’t,” Ren huffed, rolling his eyes. “I told them one of the people down the hall in your dorm was going through heat and you didn’t want to be there because you’re an alpha.”

“Oh.” Akechi swayed where he stood. Something about that seemed off but his fever was returning, making it hard to think. Distracted, he allowed Ren to gently take his arm once again and lead him through the back streets of Yongen.

They were at Leblanc in a flash. Ren unlocked the door and ushered him inside, where the scent of coffee and curry enveloped Akechi like a warm blanket. His stomach growled loudly.

“Let’s get you upstairs first, and then I’ll fix you a plate,” Ren said.

Akechi had long wondered what the living space of the leader of the Phantom Thieves was like. Stumbling up the stairs after Ren, he squinted around as the single naked light bulb clicked on.

“You...  _ live  _ here? Like this?”

“Sorry,” Ren mumbled, kicking a stray t-shirt off the floor towards a basket of laundry. “Wasn’t expecting company today.”

Goro realized his meaning was misconstrued. It wasn’t that the place was sloppy -- in fact, aside from the shirt on the floor and a few bottles of water on the table, it was incredibly neat and clean. But it barely seemed like a living space at all. However homey Leblanc Cafe felt, this was the opposite. The rafters were stained with the remains of old pigeon shit; the harsh light from the bulb cast stark shadows through the cobwebs which were too far to reach. There wasn’t even a proper bed, just a futon mattress propped up on overturned milk crates. It seemed hardly better than the rest area in Mementos.

With his fever once again rising, the injustice of Ren’s living conditions curdled Goro’s stomach. Though Ren was his rival, one whom he was prepared to defeat, Goro wouldn’t have wished these conditions on anyone, save perhaps Shido. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, letting Ren drag him over to the ‘bed’. He meant that he was sorry Ren was living in such a way.

“I promise I would’ve cleaned first,” Ren said, misunderstanding Akechi’s meaning. “And tomorrow I’ll get you nice fresh sheets and blankets and stuff.”

Goro was already crawling under the covers. Here, at least, the scent of Ren was warm and comforting. He groaned in relief as his shivers began to subside. 

“This will help too.” Ren clicked on a bedside lamp, and another small lamp on the desk, then turned off the overhead light. The warmth of the shaded bulbs was indeed welcome, casting a much cozier glow about the room. Suddenly it didn’t seem quite so bad, more like a shabby apartment than a hovel.

“Thank you,” Goro murmured, now wrapped so deep under the covers that only his face peeked out. His stomach gurgled again.

Ren laughed. “Guess that’s my cue. Curry ok? I think there’s some leftover.”

“Ngh, that would be wonderful.”

Ren padded down the stairs. Akechi watched him go with half-closed eyes. Now was his chance -- he should investigate the room. Ren’s laptop sat open on the desk just a meter away. There was even something that looked suspiciously like a journal sitting next to it, practically begging to be read.

But he was too comfortable to move. His eyes slid closed before he could work up the strength to leave the bed.

Once again, it seemed like only a second had passed before he was roused by a gentle nudge and the comforting aroma of curry. “Ngh? Not asleep.”

Ren chuckled quietly. “Of course not. I almost let you not-sleep for longer but I’m guessing you need dinner more than rest right now.” He held out a full plate.

Goro wanted to plant himself face first in the food, but he had to maintain at least a little dignity. “Not eating in bed,” he groaned, crawling out from under the covers. He sat at the rickety table and immediately began to shiver as he began to eat ravenously.

Ren rolled his eyes. “Fussy. At least cover up, or you’ll shake so hard you won’t be able to get the food in your mouth.” He grabbed a hoodie from the couch and draped it over Akechi’s shoulders.

The scent did as much as the fabric to warm him. “Thank you,” he mumbled in between bites of food. Now that his heat was coming back, he almost regretted his decision to come, especially since it meant exposing himself to Ren’s incessant need to be a mother hen. Not to mention the mortification of being so physically weak and needy, which was counter everything he had built up with Ren so far.

**_That’s why this will work. Your pathetic weakness will bring down his defenses._ **

Akechi groaned again as Loki’s voice filled his head. He always seemed especially loud when Akechi was tired or ill.

“What, is it too spicy?” Ren frowned at the curry. “I could make you some noodles if --”

“No. No, it’s fine. It’s delicious in fact. I was just... it’s my heat, nothing more.” Akechi managed a weak smile.

Ren didn’t look convinced, but he let it pass. After a few moments he said, “Once I made this for Ryuji. It was just after Boss had taught me how to make it. I thought I could improvise a little, give it a kick. It was so spicy I thought Ryuji was gonna start crying.” He laughed to himself. 

Akechi’s polite laugh faded into confusion. “Wait,  _ you  _ made this? I thought it was leftovers from Sakura-san.” He regarded his nearly empty plate in surprise.

“Nope. He taught me how to make it so that I wouldn’t keep eating the stuff reserved for customers.” 

“But... it’s so good?”

Ren gave a dry laugh. “Thanks, I think.”

“Sorry.” Akechi shook his head to clear it. “I just had no idea you were so skilled in the kitchen.”

Ren shrugged. “I like it, I guess. Cooking, I mean. I might apply to culinary school after I graduate. Or maybe just get an apprenticeship somewhere -- I haven’t decided.” He shrugged again and continued to eat.

“You want to be a  _ cook?” _ Akechi stared at him as though he had three heads. “But your grades... you’re top of your class!”

Ren raised his eyes without moving his head, peering over top of his glasses. “You really think my grades are gonna mean anything after school?” His voice was wry, heavy with both sarcasm and defeat.

He was right, of course. No academic college would touch a former parolee. 

Ren continued, in between bites. “If I’d known this was how it was going to work out, I might have punched that bald bastard for real.” He scowled at his plate.

Akechi guessed that he was referring to the incident which precipitated his parole. The records listed the event as attempted assault, but the details were omitted, including the name of the victim. In the moment, though, only one word stood out. “Bald?”

Ren hummed in agreement. “The guy was drunk, smelled like whiskey from thirty paces. He took a swing at me and lost his balance. Hit his forehead on a bollard.” He sighed. “You know the worst part about it? None of it mattered. That woman was terrified -- she could hardly speak -- and she still ended up leaving with that bastard. The police were  _ right there,  _ and she was too scared to ask them for help.” He took a bite and swallowed. “I can’t imagine what he did to her after that. Makes me sick to even think about it.”

Akechi blinked. Shido favored whiskey, and he certainly wasn’t known for treating women with even a shred of respect. “This bald man... do you know who he was?” Akechi kept his voice as calm as he could. 

Ren shook his head. “He was in front of the headlights of his car, so I didn’t get a good look. He had glasses, I know that much, and he was rich. I thought he might be Yakuza but the police seemed to know who he was. I’d remember his voice though. I thought I heard it here in Tokyo once, actually. Freaked me out.”

“Here? Where?”

“You’re full of questions, aren’t you?”

Akechi managed a weak smile, fighting down the buzz of nerves. “I am a detective.”

Ren tilted his head, giving him a thoughtful look. Then he rose from the table and retrieved his journal. Flipping through it for a moment he said, “It was May 5, at the Wilton Hotel.” Snapping the book shut, he tossed it casually back on the desk.

Akechi committed the facts to memory. It would be easy enough to find out if Shido went to the hotel on that day if it was related to official business. 

Not that it would change anything. But it would add just that much more satisfaction when he took Shido down once and for all. 

“How do you know about my grades, anyway?” Ren asked suddenly.

Normally, such a question would barely qualify as a challenge. Akechi would have any number of plausible explanations at the ready. Then again, normally, Akechi wouldn’t have made such a basic error as blurting out knowledge that was meant to be a secret. 

But now, Akechi blinked in surprise. Quickly, he turned back to his plate. “My apologies, but... Niijima-san ordered all of the academic records for the students at Shujin Academy. I couldn’t help but look for myself, before I came to speak at your school festival.”

There was more than a grain of truth to it, so Akechi was relatively sure the lie would pass muster, even if it was weak. The prosecutor’s office did, indeed order copies of the student transcripts in the last few weeks. But Akechi had been keeping tabs on Ren for far longer than that. 

Ren continued to gaze at him, eyes narrowed not only in suspicion, but... disappointment? That couldn’t be right. Goro was seeing things that weren’t there. It was probably just from the alpha’s pheromones, which were now curling through the air like fog.

Goro felt a wash of slick seep between his legs. He squirmed and lowered his head. “Sorry,” he whispered, not having to fake his submission. 

**_Pathetic._ **

Goro winced, his cheeks flushing. In his current state, it was hard to keep his sense of self intact against Loki’s castigations. In that moment, he truly did feel pathetic, his heat inflating the need to submit to someone, anyone, even if it was just a shadow in his mind. 

“I suppose I would have done the same thing,” Ren said, his voice cutting through the turmoil.

“What, really?”

Ren shrugged in a way that meant ‘no, but close enough’. His lips curled into half-grin. “My shoji master is always getting on me about not taking advantage of every opportunity.”

This time, Akechi managed to avoid blurting out that he knew Ren was talking about Togo-san. “That is excellent advice,” he nodded. “In any situation.”

It seemed as though Ren were about to say something, but he paused, his lips parted just enough to show teeth. Goro became increasingly aware of Ren’s musk, as well as the way his entrance clenched and relaxed in response.

“How do you feel?” Ren said finally. His line of sight flicked down to Goro’s lips and back up again. “Still hungry?”

“Not for food.”

For the space of a breath, neither of them moved. Then Ren lunged forward out of his chair like an animal, dragging Goro to his feet. The thrill that burst through Goro was electric: for a split second he thought Ren would pick him up and throw him on the bed, which was exactly what he wanted.

Instead, he was shocked when Ren pulled him close. The next thing he knew they were... well, to call it kissing felt too tame. Not that Goro would have known the difference. The sensations were wholly new and different: breath and lips and tongues and  _ teeth,  _ licking and nibbling and sucking, both of them moaning and desperate for more. 

Ren pressed into him, backing him up against the bed even as he wrestled with the buttons on Goro’s shirt. He growled in frustration; from somewhere near them came the telltale  _ plink  _ of a button hitting the floor. 

The back of Goro’s knees hit the mattress and he tumbled backwards. In the momentary separation they both clumsily stripped out of their clothes. And then Ren reached for him again, roughly flipping Goro over to lay on his stomach. Ren was on top of him, biting and sucking down his neck. At the same time, his fingers circled Goro’s entrance, spreading his wetness all around; Goro shuddered with relief.

“This what you want?” Ren’s voice was a low rumble against his collarbone.

“Yes. No -- more. Need more.”

“Mmmm.” Ren’s hum felt like a growl. “Sounds like you want me to fuck you again.” He punctuated the word by thrusting his fingers in, not nearly as hard as Goro wanted.

“Yes.” Goro squirmed, trying to rut against Ren’s hand.

“I have to warn you, I’m pretty fucked-out. It might take me a loooong time to finish.” Ren slid a third finger inside.

As if that wasn’t exactly what Goro needed, to be fucked all night long and then knotted. He made a pathetic mewling sound. “Please.”

Ren seemed to lose some of his self-composure at that. “Shit,” he hissed, fumbling to line himself up. 

They both groaned when Ren pressed his cock in, slow and steady, all the way to the knot. 

Ren’s eyes fluttered closed. He leaned down, so that their foreheads pressed together. “You feel so. Fucking.  _ Good.”  _

Goro groaned. He was too needy for all this gentleness. “Then fuck me.”

Ren’s answer was to pull out just as slowly, then snap his hips, hard, plunging in with devastating force.

Goro whined, nodding frantically. “More. Harder. Please.”

With a growl, Ren complied. Like the towel nest and leftover curry, it wasn’t what Goro expected, but it was exactly what he needed. He scrunched his eyes shut, concentrating on the sensations, snaking a hand underneath himself so he could tug his leaking cock.

“Fuck yes,” Ren breathed. “Do it. Come for me.”

“I’m... I’m going to....” Goro whispered. “Don’t stop.” Pumping his cock, Goro felt his orgasm take hold. 

“Oh fuck, I can feel it,” Ren gasped. “Inside.”

At that, Goro lost all semblance of control, spurting wildly into his hand, screaming into the bedding. 

Ren slowed down his thrusts as Goro moaned underneath him. Thanks to his heat, Goro’s orgasm never died away fully. A small ember of pleasure remained, glowing hot somewhere deep inside, greedy for the fullness of a knot.

And yet, Ren pulled out. Goro whimpered in confusion.

“Hold on, just let me --” Ren twisted them both around so that they were spooning.

Goro was mildly disappointed in the new arrangement; Ren’s thrusts were much shallower, even though he could go faster. But then he changed his mind when Ren began to nibble Goro ear, teasing him with his breath and teeth.

And words. “You feel so good,” Ren whispered. “I could fuck you all night.”

Goro gave a shaky laugh. “I wouldn’t stop you.”

“Nnnngh, no? You want to fall asleep stretched around my knot?”

“Oh shit,” Goro gasped, hips bucking reflexively as his cock stiffened once again.

Ren laughed, the sound turning into a groan. “Maybe I want that too. Wake up still inside you and just start again.” His thrusts got faster. 

“Fuck,” Goro whined. “Please. Harder, I -- I need it.”

Swearing under his breath, Ren gripped Goro’s hips, pounding into him. “So good, so good. Can you come for me again?”

Goro nodded rapidly, stroking himself. “Don’t stop.”

“I won’t. Whatever you need. Anything. Fuck, it’s so good. You’re so good.” Ren mouthed along Goro’s shoulder, dragging the flat of his teeth along the taut skin.

**_Beg for his teeth, you pathetic slut._ **

“No!” Goro gasped.

Ren stopped immediately, pulling out and away. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” 

Shuddering in frustration, Goro shook his head. “I’m fine. Apologies. I didn’t mean for you to stop.”

There was an uncomfortable pause. “Was it because of what I said? You know I would never do those things, right?”

It took Goro a second to realize that Ren was talking about fucking him while he slept. “I know. I trust you.”

He said it without thinking and immediately knew it was a mistake. Because, of course, he didn’t trust Ren at all, not in the slightest. And he had every reason to believe the sentiment was mutual.

When Ren didn’t say anything, Goro twisted around to look at him. It was clear by the expression on his face that he was thinking the same thing. 

“Sorry,” Goro murmured. “I meant --”

“I know what you meant.” Ren rolled away from him. 

The perceived rejection, along with the frustrated desperation of his heat, twisted in his gut. At the same time, he felt Loki pressing on him, ready to demand that Goro debase himself further. Or perhaps the trickster wanted to crush Goro’s spirit for his own amusement. It could go either way. Goro curled his legs into his body, trying to protect himself.

Ren sighed heavily, sitting up. “Look, Goro. No, seriously, I mean it. Look at me. Please.”

Goro rolled to look at him, his eyes tight, ready to flinch.

Ren pursed his lips together as he chose his words. “I  _ want  _ to trust you.” He said it deliberately, as if it was some kind of secret code between people afraid of being overheard.

Goro blinked, trying to make sense of what was happening. “O-okay?” 

With another sigh, Ren closed his eyes. When he opened them again, his expression was grave, but beyond that, his face was unreadable. And then, tentatively, moving in fits and starts, Ren leaned down and kissed him.

It was gentle, uncertain. Or rather, Ren was gentle, and Goro was uncertain. _ So, this is kissing. _ Unlike before, Goro was able to focus on the experience. There wasn’t as much teeth-clacking as the first time, which was nice. And overall it was wetter than he expected, but in a good way. 

It wasn’t as though Goro was a blushing virgin. Not counting the disastrous experience of his last heat, Goro had only had sex once, with an older student from his school who had since graduated. It was a brief, fumbling rut in a storeroom at the school after hours. They barely looked at each other, much less kissed; it was all about fulfilling needs as quickly and efficiently as possible. 

And yet, this experience was just as mercurial, if not more so. Every kiss Goro had after this would be tainted by the memory, knowing he’d sold this experience in exchange for an advantage later. 

**_There’s a word for those who sell their bodies, you know. Like mother, like son._ **

Goro couldn’t help but whine in anguish, knowing Loki was right. How had it come to this?

Ren pulled away, gazing at Goro in concern. “What’s wrong?”

Dammit, why did he have to be so considerate? Goro shook his head. “Nothing.”

Ren grit his teeth, his jaw working hard. “Tell me what you need.” This time, it wasn’t a request, but an order from an alpha.

The problem was, Goro didn’t  _ know  _ what he needed. Or rather, he couldn’t find a way to say ‘I need you to fuck me so hard that it drowns out the voice of my impossibly-powerful second Persona that I’m keeping secret’ without betraying everything he’d worked and sacrificed for. If only he could get Loki to shut up, give him a moment’s peace.... but the only times Loki ever stayed quiet was when Robin Hood manifested in the Metaverse. 

Then Goro remembered that maybe, just maybe, there was one thing that would work.

“Make me laugh,” he whispered.

Ren blinked in confusion. “Make you... laugh? Now?”

Goro nodded frantically.

Ren squinted at him. “But... how? Should I use my tube steak?” 

He said it with such utter sincerity that it took Goro a second to process the words. When he finally understood, he dissolved into a giggling snort. “Perhaps.”

“What about my baloney poney? My twig and berries? My ramma-lamma-ding-dong?”

Goro continued to giggle, not so much because the slang was inherently funny -- just the opposite, really -- but Ren’s delivery was dry as the desert. 

“Hold on, I need my thesaurus if I’m gonna keep this up,” Ren sat up, reaching for his phone. “Heh, get it? ‘Keep this up’? Because erections.” He winked outrageously and pointed at his penis.

It sent Goro into another paroxysm of laughter. As it had before, the good humor chased Loki into the background; Goro could sense him somewhere, sulking and confused, but no longer at the forefront of his mind. The relief was palpable. 

Of course, that relief only went so far; there was still the matter of his heat. As Goro’s giggles died away into grunts of need, his hips started to rock almost of their own volition. 

Ren’s anatomy showed its appreciation, his cock bobbing upwards. “That’s what I like to hear,” he murmured with a grin, stroking himself to full hardness. 

“Knot me. I need it.” Goro drew his legs up impatiently; he didn’t want to wait around for Loki to come back. 

“Ooh, actually, I changed my mind, I like to hear that even better.” Ren stretched over him, plunging himself into Goro with no resistance. 

They both moaned as Ren bottomed out. 

“Hurry,” Goro urged. 

Ren leaned down further, burying his face in the crook of Goro’s neck. “Sorry, do you have an appointment after this?” He slammed his cock in and out, hard. “Should I have called your secretary first?”

Breathlessly, Goro laughed again, his eyes rolling back as the pleasure started to build. “I’m a busy man -- Oh!”

“Next time we’ll sync calendars first,” Ren growled into his ear.

A tiny sliver of regret wormed into Goro’s mind; after this weekend, there would be no next time. Once Niijima-san was taken care of, he had no doubt Shido would have Ren killed. But for the moment, Goro focused on the banter and the way Ren’s cock filled him so perfectly. “Send me a text two weeks in advance, I’ll try to -- nngh -- squeeze you in.”

Ren half-groaned, half-laughed. “You’re squeezing me in quite nicely right now.”

Goro also groaned. He’d asked Ren to make him laugh, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have standards. “Fuck your puns.”

“Fuck your buns? Don’t mind if I do.”

“Auugh,” Goro grunted. He shoved Ren’s shoulders up, then grabbed his face and started to kiss him. 

It was more to shut him up than anything, but the sensations of kissing and being fucked so thoroughly was a welcome side effect. Goro raced towards the edge, panting into Ren’s mouth. The rising ecstasy mingled with the lingering remnants of their laughter; Goro could feel that Ren was smiling even as he grunted with quiet urgency. 

“I’m going to come...?” Goro heard himself saying.

“Well I certainly hope so,” Ren panted, throwing his words from earlier back at him. “I’d hate to waste my knot.”

Goro groaned, feeling some part of himself going boneless at the prospect. “Heaven forfend it should go to waste. Best give it to me.”

“Come for me and it’s yours.”

The sudden shift from playful banter to such a poignant, almost romantic statement felt like a gunshot to the chest. Goro gasped, his eyes wide. They were still so close that their lips brushed, their breath mingled. 

Somewhere deep in Goro’s mind, one of those locked, dusty crates opened just a crack, long enough for a single thought to slip inside and hide itself away:  _ I’m yours, I’m yours.  _

There was no time to worry about secrets, or Loki, or the future, because at that moment Goro felt Ren’s knot sliding into him with a relentless pressure.

Ren gave a broken, wordless moan as he began to hump into Goro fast and hard, his body operating on ancient, animalistic instinct. The additional stretch, just on the far edge of pain, triggered Goro’s own orgasm, sending him into another universe of pleasure, far beyond the shallow sensations he’d experienced so far that day.

And it went on, and on, and  _ on.  _ Goro continued to spurt against his own stomach even as Ren flooded him. In the overwhelming blanket of pleasure, one image somehow wedged itself into Goro’s awareness: Ren’s eyes, blown black with lust, and yet strangely vulnerable at the same time. 

Somehow, the pleasure peaked and began to wane. Through the haze of it all, they managed to twist themselves around so that they were spooning, Ren’s knot still firmly lodged inside Goro. At last, at last, Goro felt himself relax fully, the pent-up tension he’d been holding in his body seeming to ooze out of him. The need to sleep crashed over him with the power of a tsunami. 

And yet, even as his awareness slipped away, Goro felt as though he was dreaming, time and reality twisting and ebbing around him. He dreamed of black cats hopping onto windowsills, of hushed conversations he couldn’t quite hear, and then, of arms squeezing him too tightly, as if Goro were some precious thing that must not be lost. But even these strange dreams faded and he plunged into the darkness of slumber.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akechi furthers his investigation of Ren's room. The results are not at all what he expected.

Goro awoke with a groggy snort, disoriented by the warmth and comfort of Ren’s scent surrounding him. “Wazzat?”

Ren was shaking his shoulder gently. “Sorry, sorry,” he murmured. “I know you need to sleep, but Boss will be here soon to open up. If you want to use the restroom downstairs without anyone seeing you, now’s your chance.”

As soon as Ren said  _ restroom  _ Goro became aware of the intense pressure of his bladder. Mumbling his thanks, he stumbled down the stairs, still half-asleep.

It was off-putting to be in a public bathroom so early. There was something very private about morning ablutions: seeing one’s sleep-mussed hair in the mirror, yawning and letting the day coalesce in one’s mind. To do so in a restaurant washroom was very strange.

And yet, Ren did it every day. How demoralizing had it been, those first few mornings, denied even the most basic comforts of home -- any home at all?

**_It almost sounds like you care. How adorable._ **

At the sound of Loki’s voice, Akechi’s mood shifted. He set his jaw and cleared his mind of distractions. He did not care in the least. It was valuable information concerning an opponent’s mindset, that was all.

There was a clean hand towel and a package of cleansing wipes on the sink counter; no doubt Ren left them for Akechi to use. Gritting his teeth at the indignity of it, Akechi stripped and wiped his body down, his nose scrunching at the harsh chemical scent. Still, it was better than rank sweat and the remains of mating.

The reminder of how it felt to take Ren’s knot made Akechi’s cock twitch. Not wanting to attract any more of Loki’s attention, he tried not to think about it. Instead he rinsed a corner of the towel with water to scrape off the film which the cleansing wipes left behind. By the time he was done he was... cleanish. Putting on his dirty, sweaty clothes again was none too pleasant, but it couldn’t be helped.

Back upstairs, Ren was changing the sheets. “I’m afraid I don’t have a spare toothbrush, but I’ll grab one for you this afternoon.” He held a pillow under his chin, tugging up the bunched fabric of a pillowcase.

“You don’t have to,” Akechi said, waving him off. He knew Ren would do it anyway, but a little false self-pity might help grease the wheels later. “You’ve done enough already.”

“Nah, I kinda do,” he said. “You’ve got morning breath, Ace Detective.” Ren grinned at him.

Akechi stared at him, spluttering to come up with a response. “Well pardon me,” he finally managed, as indignantly as he could muster.

Ren just laughed at him. No, not  _ at  _ him,  _ with _ him, as if they were sharing a joke. Which, Akechi realized belatedly, they were. 

Finished with the bed, Ren wadded up the dirty sheets and threw them in the hamper. “How about breakfast? Nice hot cup of coffee? Or would you like to rest some more first?”

Akechi’s stomach growled loudly. He put his hands around his stomach.

Ren nodded as if Akechi had done something clever. “I’ll go make something for you -- best if I do it now, while we’ve got the place to ourselves.” He put his arm around Akechi and led him back to the bed. 

“I’m not an invalid,” Akechi protested, crawling back under the covers. Though he missed the comfort of Ren’s scent on the clean sheets, the sensation of fresh, cool fabric more than made up for it.

“No? I guess I need to fuck you way harder, then, huh.” Ren tapped his chin in mock contemplation.

At that, Akechi did manage a derisive snort, though his body also sat up and took notice of the mention of sex. “Do you worst, Phantom Thief.”

“Breakfast first,” Ren said, heading back downstairs. “The TV works if you want it, and the Wifi password is Sojiro123.”

“You’re joking. Is it really?”

“I don’t make the rules.” Ren shrugged helplessly even as his figure disappeared out of sight.

Akechi huddled in the bed for a moment, listening. This was his best chance to investigate -- his mind was relatively clear, his cycle in temporary abeyance from last night’s mating. But it wouldn’t stay that way for long. 

Once Akechi heard the rattle of pots and pans from downstairs, he crept out of bed and surveyed Ren’s desk. The laptop he ignored for the time being -- if Futaba had locked it down, there would be nothing he could hope to do in terms of cracking it. 

But the journal... ah, there it was. Ren had even left his pen on top of it. Akechi examined it closely first without touching anything, looking for signs that Ren had rigged it to reveal tampering. Everyone in the world knew about the hair trick, but it worked for a reason. 

Nothing leapt out at him, so Akechi opened it. He riffled gently through the pages, in case there were any inserts or bookmarks, but no. It was just a journal. From the looks of things, Ren recorded his activities every day. Better and better.

But any hopes that Akechi would be granted a peek at the inner workings of Ren’s mind were dashed. The entries were dry as dust. Especially at first, the writing lacked detail to the point where it seemed meaningless to bother picking up a pen:  _ April 9, arrived at Leblanc. Cleaned attic. April 10, visited Shujin, cleaned attic. April 11, went to school. Rained. Cleaned attic. _

Akechi impatiently flipped ahead, looking for any words that stood out. This yielded better results; further along, the entries also contained strange phrases, references to emperors, magicians, chariots. There were also mentions of the moon, and later the stars. Hmm, a code, then? If so, that meant Ren was fully aware that others would be reading the journal at some point. Given the regularity of the entries, perhaps it was a condition of his parole? 

In any event, it seemed unlikely that there was anything in the journal that could be used as direct evidence for Sae-san’s investigation. It was a long shot, but it would have been nice to be able to produce hard evidence right as Sae-san was taken off the case. Still, Akechi decided to see if there was anything which corroborated the facts he already knew. He flipped ahead to the entry for June 10, the day they met at the TV station. 

At last, here was something different: several words were heavily crossed out. Akechi read the whole entry. 

_ June 10. TV Station again. [several words heavily scribbled over] Learned about Justice. And Hegel.  _

The mention of Hegel made his heart stutter, just once. Although Akechi was by now relatively certain Ren wasn’t recording anything personal in the journal, the fact that he had bothered to mention their conversation, even obliquely.... He didn’t allow himself to finish the thought. 

The aroma of fresh coffee wafted up the stairs. Quickly, Akechi replaced the book and the pen. Since he couldn’t be sure of the exact placement, he grabbed his bag and set it on the desk as if he’d been looking for something, jostling the book out of place, trying to make it look natural. The sounds of clattering dishes became more sporadic, so he slunk back into bed and began to fiddle with his phone as if he was bored.

Ren appeared a minute or two later with a tray of food. Akechi didn’t have to fake his interest; the smells coming from the plates had his stomach growling again. He sat up. “It smells delicious.”

“That’s because you’re starving,” Ren scoffed, though his lips twitched as if he was pleased. “Hope you like omelettes.”

“I love them,” Akechi said, sitting at the table. In truth he was neutral when it came to the dish, but keeping up an agreeable front was by now second nature to him.

By the way Ren snorted under his breath, it was clear he didn’t buy it. “There wasn’t much in the kitchen,” he said. “I’ll pick up more later.”

Akechi reminded himself to set aside his people-pleasing facade, as it wasn’t doing him any favors. “Right, when you get me that toothbrush I need so desperately.”

Ren coughed into his coffee, spluttering slightly. 

Akechi smiled to himself and cut into the neatly-rolled up egg. He expected to see ketchup rice inside. The filling was the correct reddish color, but it clearly wasn’t rice. He paused in confusion at the unfamiliar texture.

“Sorry, it’s shredded potatoes,” Ren said. “Sojiro likes to be the one to set the rice cooker in the morning. It’s one of his  _ things. _ ” He rolled his eyes with no small amount of affection.

“Ah,” Akechi nodded. “Potatoes. How... American.” He regarded his plate.

“I had it in Hawaii,” Ren nodded. “With Spam. But we only had potato downstairs, so... yeah. I know Haru can’t eat certain things when she’s on her heat so if this is too gross for you right now, I won’t be offended.”

The mention of Haru ignited Akechi’s sense of competition. His task wasn’t solely to investigate; he was also there to set himself apart from the other omega and hopefully sow discord among the Phantom Thieves. So he took a large bite to prove he was no wilting flower, even on his heat.

Fully prepared to feign enthusiasm, Akechi was shocked to find it was actually quite good. It didn’t taste like ketchup at all; it was deeply savory, almost smoky, with a kick of spice. His eyebrows rose as he took another bite with unrestrained gusto.

“Good?”

“Mm,” Akechi nodded, his mouth full. He took a sip of coffee -- also delicious -- and paused, trying to eat with at least the semblance of manners. “What is this spice? It’s bewitching.”

Ren laughed out loud. “You should be a food critic,” he said. “And it’s smoked paprika. Goes with the potatoes -- kinda makes them taste like bacon.”

Akechi was too busy eating to respond. 

“Note to self, Ace Detective loves potatoes.” 

Akechi looked up to find that Ren was regarding him in bemusement, his chin in his hand. Although his words were mocking, his expression was... soft, almost fond.

Akechi froze with a bite of food halfway to his mouth. 

As they stared at each other, the gentle smile on Ren’s face faded as the intensity of his gaze grew, becoming something hungry, almost possessive. 

Goro felt that look in all sorts of places. 

From downstairs, the sound of the door opening and the jingle of keys interrupted the moment. 

“Shit, already?” Ren checked his phone. “Why did he have to be early  _ today, _ of all days?”

Squirming slightly in his seat, Goro clenched against the growing wetness Ren’s attention had caused. “A shame, truly,” he murmured, biting his lip.

Ren grunted in frustration, gulping down the rest of his coffee. “Boss almost never comes up here while I have friends over, so it should be fine. I’ll just tell him you’re sick if he asks.” 

On the table, Ren’s phone buzzed. Sighing again, he checked it, frowning slightly before setting it aside. No sooner had it hit the table then it dinged, causing Ren to roll his eyes and check it again. With a disapproving grunt, he quickly tapped out a reply before putting it down again.

“You clearly have much to do today,” Akechi said. “You don’t have to stay and babysit me. As long as I’m warm and in bed, I’ll be fine.” 

Ren’s expression cleared at once. “Are you sure? You were in rough shape yesterday.”

Akechi felt his cheeks flush. “I certainly would benefit from, ah, a repeat performance at some point tonight, if that could be arranged.” 

Ren licked his lips, his alpha pheromones sharpening.

The scent was overwhelming. “Please,” Akechi blurted out.

With a growl, Ren began to reach for him. But then his phone buzzed again, skittering across the table, while at the same time Sojiro called out, asking Ren to come down and help.

“Be right there,” Ren answered, his eyes and hands clenched in frustration. He relaxed and stood up, adjusting the bulge in his pants before stacking the empty plates. To Goro he said, “That can definitely be arranged, if you can wait till the cafe closes.”

“I brought some things to take the edge off,” he said. “Assuming Sojiro-san doesn’t come up, I can entertain myself just fine.”

Ren’s hands slipped, the plates clattering to the table. 

Akechi smirked. “Note to self: Phantom Thief likes his omegas plugged and ready.”

At that, Ren lunged for him, grabbing him by his shirt and hoisting him onto the table, practically attacking him with his mouth.

Unfortunately this sent most of the breakfast plates and cutlery crashing to the floor.

“Hey, what’s going on up there?” Sojiro yelled up. “You’re lucky the place is empty!”

“Sorry.” Ren called out in an almost-normal tone of voice, which seemed a feat given that he was dry-humping Goro for all he was worth at the time. “Tripped on a shoe.”

From downstairs, Sojiro grumbled but shuffled away. 

“You’ll pay for this,” Ren growled into his ear, rutting one more time before stepping away.

“I certainly hope so.”

“I’ll be back up in a little bit to gather the laundry,” Ren said, wincing as he tried to re-re-arrange his now-prominent erection. “Oh, actually, do you want something to wear? I can take your things to the laundry when I go.”

Goro blinked in surprise. “That would be incredibly generous of you.” 

“Eh, I’m going anyway, what’s a little more?” Ren began to gather up the plates and cups from the floor. “There’s stuff in that box,” he said, nodding at the shelves along the wall. “Feel free to pick something out. Not a lot of choices though, I’m afraid.”

“Thank you.” 

“No problem. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Ren stood, gave him another hungry look, and left.

Akechi waited until he could hear the murmurs of conversation between Sojiro and Ren before he slid off the table. His own cock was begging for attention, not to mention the slick which had begun to pool at his entrance. He was starting to feel the beginning stages of fever, which meant his heat would soon rob him of the ability to think clearly once more.

Akechi therefore went right back to the journal, determined to discover what Ren was trying to hide. The first thing he did was to leaf through the pages to confirm that there were no other words crossed out. Satisfied, Akechi turned to the entry for June 10 once more. 

He examined the paper more closely. The entry had been written in blue ballpoint pen, as had the rest of the page, but was crossed out in black ink, apparently from a felt-tip marker. Akechi clicked on the desk lamp, shining bright light directly onto the paper, tilting it at an angle. 

He grinned when he saw the faint impression of the hidden words under the black ink. Then he inhaled sharply, holding his breath. 

_ Met a cute boy. I wish _

Goro blinked fast, only remembering to breathe when he became a little dizzy. Panicking, he snapped the book shut and put it back where he found it.

After two years of living with Loki’s near-constant presence in his mind, Goro had learned a few things. The first was that anything he valued for himself would be twisted as soon as Loki discovered it. The second was that if he could manage  not to think about something directly, it would be safe.

Although Loki had access to Akechi’s conscious thoughts, he wasn’t listening to everything all the time. The human mind had a great capacity to flit through dozens and dozens of thoughts and feelings per minute, creating a background chatter which Loki, for the most part, ignored. It was only when Akechi’s musings focused into coherent trains of thought that Loki began to pay attention. So too with emotions; only the strongest would rise to the level of notice. 

_ Don’t think, don’t think, don’t think,  _ Akechi reminded himself.  _ Thinking comes later. Don’t think, don’t think. Focus on your body. Shivering. Cold. Sweating. Tend to that first.  _ His movements stiff and wooden, he got up from the desk. He went to the box Ren had pointed out and began rifling through it. 

Although there were a few t-shirts and pairs of sweatpants which would have served well as pajamas, his attention gravitated to a somewhat threadbare yukata, the kind of generic robe given to onsen or ryokan guests. The linen was whisper-soft after many washings, and best of all, it had the scent of Ren’s soap and skin.

_ I wish _

It was getting more difficult for Goro not to think, especially with the way his body was reacting to the garment in his hands. Choking back a whine, he struggled to get out of his clothes, whispering a mantra to himself under his breath: “Don’t think, don’t think, don’t think....”

Pulling the robe over his shoulders, Goro tried to focus on the way the fabric felt against his skin. But between his rapidly-encroaching heat and being surrounded by Ren’s scent, the craving for his temporary mate was stronger than any mental defenses he’d learned. 

_ I wish _

What did Ren wish? Did he wish for --

Loki burst into laughter; it felt like fireworks inside Goro’s skull.  **_Did he wish for you, pup? Is that what you wanted?_ **

“No,” Goro whispered, sagging in defeat. He crawled into the bed, pulling the blanket over himself as if that would do anything to help him hide. “No, no.”

There was no point in begging for it to stop; that would just fuel Loki’s cruelty. Instead, Goro lay there motionless, listening passively as Loki mocked him.  **_Just like you to set your sights so low. This supposed alpha fetches and cooks and cleans like a servant, when it is you who should be serving him. He is an unworthy foe for one such as you. Have I not taught you to strive for more?_ **

Yes, Goro thought to himself wearily. I deserve more. The thought held no comfort; the concept of ‘more’ seemed meaningless. More than what? 

He had a sudden flash of what it would be like if Ren was not his opponent, but instead was his friend, no --  _ more  _ than his friend. His mate. It was a momentary thing, just a snippet of them laughing and bantering as Ren pulled him close, but even still Goro gasped, his eyes watering to see what he would never have.

_ I wish  _

But wishes were useless. Loki taught him that, reinforcing the lesson now with laughter and spikes of pain. Akechi calmed his breathing and set his jaw. “It doesn’t matter,” he whispered to himself. 

**_Good. You may be a pathetic omega, but together we will have our vengeance._ **

Numb, Akechi nodded silently. Now that Loki had discovered this desire in his heart, Akechi knew that it would be fodder for further torment. The safest course of action was to give up on the idea altogether, purge his heart of the problematic emotion. 

Automatically, Akechi began to try and talk himself out of it. Loki did have a point. Ren was his rival, his opponent. For all Akechi knew, Ren met some other guy later that day. Aside from the reference to Hegel, there was no indication the journal entry was about him. 

Even if it was, this was not some fairy tale, some Shakespeare play in which all would be forgiven in the end. There was no doubt in Akechi’s mind that Shido planned to kill Ren and the others once they were no longer useful. Of course, that would be left to someone else. Although Akechi styled himself to Shido as an assassin, he had never drawn blood in the real world, only in the Metaverse. But Ren and the others had no palaces. Akechi’s skill was in causing mental shutdowns, not murder. It wasn’t Akechi’s concern how it would happen; Shido had plenty of contacts who would take care of the problem.

Normally, focusing on these grim realities would appease Loki. But normally, Akechi wasn’t in the middle of his heat, huddled in the bed of his ersatz mate. Normally he wasn’t surrounded by Ren’s smell and the memory not just of animalistic rutting, but also of his tender embrace and even softer lips....

_ I wish  _

With a groan, Goro curled in on himself, rubbing his temples. Too late he realized he was also hearing footsteps approach.

“Goro? You okay?” 

The futon mattress dipped as Ren sat down. He put a hand on Goro’s shoulder. Even through the sheet and the yukata, Goro could feel the warmth of it.

Fumbling with the layers of fabric, Goro managed to uncover his face. “Sorry,” he said. “Was I making noise?”

“Only a little. Can I get you anything before I head out? Do you need water, or....” Ren blinked as his line of sight slid down to Goro’s bare collarbone. He swallowed hard. “Or, um. Anything?”

Not trusting himself to speak, Goro shook his head.

Ren nodded slowly, but didn’t get up. After another moment, he reached out and traced a fingertip along the collar of the yukata, just barely grazing Goro’s skin at the same time.

Goro hissed, shifting his body into the touch.

“You changed into this?” Ren murmured, continuing to drag his fingers on Goro’s chest, then up his neck and jaw.

“Is... that okay? I thought it would be comfortable -- oh!” Goro gasped when Ren stroked the shell of his ear.

“More than okay,” Ren said. “As long as you’re still in it when I’m done.”

“Y-yes,” Goro panted. 

“You really make it difficult to do chores, you know that?”

With a breathless laugh, Goro smiled coyly. “I don’t think Sakura-san or his customers would appreciate the noise if you were to stay.”

“Never know, they just might,” Ren grinned. He leaned down to whisper. “Or maybe I’d have to gag you.”

With a whimper, Goro’s eyes rolled back in his head as his hips bucked. He was just about to turn his head, when there was a screeching commotion on the windowsill.

“What the HELL??” 

Ren and Goro jerked away from each other to see Morgana perched above them, his back arched and tail poofed out in anger.

“Joker, what the hell is this?? You said Haru-chan was coming.”

Gritting his teeth, Ren took a deep, furious breath. “I also said to stay the hell away, if I recall correctly.”

“Does Boss know he’s up here?” Morgana said. “Or did you lie to him too?”

Akechi felt like he’d been splashed with ice water, his mind suddenly racing free of the lethargy of his burgeoning heat. He barely dared to breathe. Ren had lied to Morgana? What the hell was going on?  


“We’re not having this discussion here,” Ren said, storming to his feet. He gathered the laundry into a bag. “Outside. Now.”

“Fine.” Morgana stared hard at Akechi for another second before hopping out to the rooftop once more.

Akechi blinked. To Ren he said, “Should I leave?” 

“No! No. Stay. I’ll clear this up. Just... stay. I promise, it’ll be alright.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Never been more sure of anything in my life.” Ren tried for a confident smile, but it didn’t quite fit. “I’ll be back in a few hours. Just... stay here. For me.”

Even if Akechi hadn’t been inclined to agree because of his heat, there was no way he was about to leave now. 

“Alright,” Akechi nodded with feigned reluctance. He pulled the sheet back up to his chin. “As long as you’re sure.”

With a grim nod, Ren left, the sack of laundry hoisted over his shoulder. Once he was gone, Akechi relaxed, his face breaking into a satisfied smile. His earlier doubts and daydreams faded quickly under the thrum of adrenaline coursing through him. He’d been hoping to create a rift in the team and now it was happening right in front of him. If only there was a way for him to listen to Ren’s conversation!

As if by magic, Akechi heard familiar voices coming up from the street outside the window. Not just Ren and Morgana, but Sakamoto as well.

“No, they couldn’t possibly....” Akechi chanced a peek outside. 

Sure enough, Morgana and Ryuji were in the street outside, arguing with Ren.

“Dude, are you  _ insane?  _ Did you get a concussion? Why the fuck is Akechi in your bed??”

“Ryuji, calm down,” Ren said.

“Oh no, don’t pull any of your alpha tricks on me, bro. It won’t work.”

“I can’t believe you lied to us.” Morgana sounded dazed.

“Look, he needed help,” Ren said.

“What kind of  _ help  _ could that asshole possibly need?” Ryuji’s finger quotes were audible.

“He’s not an alpha, is he?” Morgana said. “He’s an omega! I knew I smelled something -- he’s on his heat, isn’t he? Ugh, that laundry bag reeks of it.”

There was a moment of silence. Even Akechi found his heart was pounding.

“Ren.” Ryuji’s voice was dangerously soft. “Ren-ren. Bro. You didn’t.”

There was another pause.

“Aw, c’mon man, no. Say you’re kiddin’. This has to be a joke, right? Mona, tell me he’s kiddin’.”

“It looked like they were kissing,” Morgana said slowly. “I thought I was imagining things, but I guess not.”

Ren sighed, a hint of a growl in his voice. “It’s not what it seems, I swear. Look, I can explain everything to everyone. You just have to trust me. I know what I’m doing.”

The pause that followed was the longest yet. 

“I guess... I guess I owe you that much,” Ryuji said with a noted lack of enthusiasm. “You’ve never let us down.”

“And I never will. Ever,” Ren said.

In the attic above, Akechi gloated to himself. Oh, I think you will, Joker. I think you will. 

Akechi’s glee was difficult to contain. The situation was really too perfect for words. To think, all this time he was hiding the fact that he was omega, when that turned out to be the key to his nigh-inevitable victory!

The seeds of discord had already been sown, after all. Akechi hadn’t even had to do anything, and already the Phantom Thieves were keeping secrets from each other.

As his mind worked, Loki shared his elation, feeding it, encouraging his mendacity. As much as Akechi loathed the person he had become under Loki’s influence, he savored in the success which the trickster god enabled. So what if the cost was giving up on a few worthless daydreams, idle hopes? Soon he would have his vengeance over Shido.

The only thing left for Akechi to do was further ingratiate himself to Ren, and the easiest way to do that was to cater to the leader’s alpha nature. And what better way to do that than give into his own omega impulses?

The irony of it was far too delicious; Akechi actually laughed aloud in delight. The noise covered up a different sound, somewhere in the deep maze of his mind: the echo of a box locking shut with an almost silent click, in which two words were hidden away:  _ I wish.  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this whole fic an elaborate setup for my post-canon Chef/Food Critic AU? ONLY TIME WILL TELL.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caught up in his heat, Akechi says too much and not enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone's interested, [I made a playlist for this fic!](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7kj7h0SEnP0II1KFpBE37S?si=YccOQfyEQeOrYNrqV_X9SQ)

Invigorated by the argument he’d witnessed, Akechi brooked no delay in continuing his investigation of Ren’s journal. For the time being the cafe was still relatively quiet; if Akechi waited, there might be too much ambient noise downstairs to allow him to hear Ren coming up the stairs. Being caught snooping would be a disaster.

Akechi worked quickly. The matter of the crossed-out words was carefully avoided. Instead he began with the most recent entries, moving backwards in time. He scanned the pages, making a note of anything that seemed out of the ordinary. 

_Tower. Emperor. Chariot. Devil. High Priest. Magician._

He pulled out a small notebook of his own and wrote each word down, as well as the dates on which they appeared. 

There was something hauntingly familiar about the terms, but he couldn’t quite grasp it. As far as the dates, there didn’t seem to be any pattern. A word would appear several times in one week, then go missing for the space of a month or more. And there were odd references to the weather, too. Rain was noted, and sun, but also moon and stars. And sometimes rain and sun happened on the same day. Were they part of the code, too?

A noise at the bottom of the stairwell almost sent him into panic. But it was just Sojiro, rifling through the cleaning closet.

Akechi put the journal away. It was for the best; poring over the pages wouldn’t help until he cracked the code. And he began to shiver, his heat working through his system once more. 

He climbed back into the bed, curling under the covers with his phone and notebook. In addition to the mild fever, Akechi could already feel the twinges of disorientation. It wasn’t so much that he wouldn’t be able to think rationally, but the urge to mate and find sexual gratification would gradually become impossibly distracting. Before Akechi had started taking the artificial alpha pheromones, it was bearable; he’d simply get a little grumpy. Now, his libido was like a toddler running around the room, banging pots and pans, screaming for attention.

Trying to focus, Akechi searched the words themselves to see if any symbolism made the meanings apparent. This was fruitless; each term could have any one of a dozen meanings. Next he tried to determine if anything had happened on the noted dates which would provide a clue for the code words, some context. This was an effort in frustration, as almost every day in the last few weeks had a code word, while as far as Akechi could tell, nothing relating to the symbolism of any of the words had taken place.

But there was something about the word _High Priest._ It was an odd choice of kanji -- “daishikyo”. Most head priests at Buddhist temples went by the title “osho”. Akechi had only come across the term “daishikyo” with respect to the Catholic Church. He had followed Ren once or twice to the church in Kanda where Togo-san practiced. Perhaps this word was a reference to the priest there? It seemed unlikely that Ren was meeting with the clergy, but then again, very little about Ren’s activities was normal. 

The significance of the term hovered just out of Akechi’s reach. If only he could think!

Alas, his body had other plans. By noon he was caught in a wave of listless arousal. Yet neither could he do anything to provide release. Although the risk that anyone other than Ren would come upstairs was incredibly low, the lack of a physical door made it difficult for Akechi to relax enough to take care of his needs. It seemed like every time he snuck a hand under the blankets, there would be a noise from the closet or the washroom at the base of the stairs. 

With few other options, he dozed the day away. At first, it was pleasant; the opportunity to rest was incredibly rare. Eventually it palled as Akechi’s arousal made him restless and irritable. The light from the window was fading when Akechi woke for the last time. Where the hell was Ren? Surely, he should have returned by now? How dare he leave an omega waiting so long?

Grumpy and aroused in equal measure, Akechi burrowed under the blankets completely. There was only so long he could be expected to delay relief while he was on his heat. Despite the low murmurs of activity coming from downstairs, he slipped a hand around his half-hard cock. 

He only managed to stroke himself a few times before he heard the sound of footsteps climbing the staircase. Akechi groaned in frustration, right up until his nose caught the scent of --

“Karaage?” Akechi scrambled to untangle himself from the blankets, his arousal fading somewhat under the pangs of actual hunger. “Did you bring karaage?” His mouth watered at the prospect of fried chicken.

At the top of the stairs, Ren regarded him in amusement, though the expression softened into concern. “When was the last time you ate?”

Akechi blinked. Oh right, food. No wonder he felt so spacey. “Breakfast?”

Ren sighed, setting down two full grocery bags. “I knew I should have checked on you sooner.”

Huffing indignantly, Akechi rolled his eyes. “I keep telling you, I’m not an invalid. I was sleeping.”

“Ah. Well, I apologize. I wanted to be here hours ago but --” As if on cue, Ren’s phone dinged. With a grunt of annoyance, he began to tap out a reply.

Akechi took the opportunity to extricate himself from the bed and take a seat at the table. “Do you mind?”

“Go ahead,” Ren said, continuing to text. “Wasn’t sure what you liked so I got a bunch of stuff from the 777.”

Akechi unpacked the bag: a few sandwiches, onigiri, bento boxes, and most importantly, a plastic clamshell box full of hot fried chicken.

Karaage was a supremely unhealthy treat that Akechi almost never allowed himself. As dizzy and needy as he was, his willpower was even lower. He groaned as he took the first bite. “This is so good. 777 is my favorite.”

Ren stowed his phone and sat. “I like Lawson’s better,” he said, helping himself to a sandwich. 

There was a lull while they both took a few bites of dinner. It was pleasant, sharing meals like this in Ren’s room. Almost too pleasant. The last thing Akechi needed was to get used to this. He was only there to mate and gain information. Seeking a distraction, he said, “If I might ask you something....”

“You can always ask,” Ren said. 

“I know you have the power to contain multiple personas in the metaverse, but... how do you keep them straight?” It was a low-stakes question, something Akechi was only mildly curious about. He wasn’t thinking clearly enough for anything else. Mostly he wanted to know how many Personas Ren actually had. Not that it would matter. After they finished Sae-san’s palace, he wouldn’t be using them any more. 

Ren coughed in disbelief, grasping for a napkin. “You never shut off, do you?”

“It... just occurred to me. I saw you capture five or six just in the short time we were in Sae-san’s palace, and another three while we were in Mementos last week for training. You must have dozens in there by now.” 

“I only have about ten at a time,” Ren said. “Give or take.”

Akechi blinked. “But... what happens to the rest?”

Ren shrugged. “I just let ‘em go, you know?”

It felt like the floor dropped out from under Akechi. “What? _How??”_

“I... dunno, I just... do it,” Ren answered. “I’ve never stopped to think about it.”

Akechi stared at him in consternation. “But... you must do _something.”_

Ren’s face was etched with confusion and concern. He opened his mouth, only to sigh helplessly. “When I run out of space, I just... tell one to leave. I really can’t explain it any better.”

Akechi was dimly aware that he was trembling. He hid his hands under the table. It had never occurred to him that Ren could release a Persona. And if Ren could do it, why not Akechi?

The concept that he could ever be free of Loki was too good to be true. The thought was dangerous, but Akechi couldn't seem to stop thinking about it. 

Loki burst into his awareness; however, it was not Akechi’s thoughts which caught his attention, but Ren’s words. **_This one lies. There must be a method. You must learn it so that we may be free of the repulsive Robin Hood. I have suffered his presence too long._ **

Akechi winced, silently acknowledging Loki’s point. But there was no way he could question Ren further right now -- he could hardly think straight. Either he would inadvertently reveal that he had a second Persona to Ren, or Loki would discover Akechi’s desire to be free. To cover the moment, he grabbed his chopsticks. Concentrating on something tangible like food would ground him. 

Ren cocked an eyebrow. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were sleeping with me just to get my secrets.” He grinned, indicating he didn’t believe it at all. 

Distracted and grouchy, Akechi lashed out against the perceived attack automatically. “One could just as easily say you used your sway as an alpha to take advantage of my heat.” He didn’t for a second believe Ren was capable of such a thing. He was too good, too noble. But Akechi knew the words would hurt just enough to deflect attention away from himself.

Watching the smile evaporate from Ren’s face made something in Akechi’s chest ache. Akechi’s face flushed; he hadn’t meant to hurt Ren’s feelings to that extent. A tangle of complicated emotions rose up in him.

Loki rose up as well. **_Your weakness towards this alpha is sickening. He is nothing but a means to an end. Or can you not rise above your pathetic, childish emotions?_ **

Akechi let his gaze fall to the table, trying to clear his mind. When Ren was gone, it was much easier to remember that they were enemies. But when they were together like this, it seemed so easy, so natural that they should be... Akechi tried not to finish the thought, even as Loki’s ugly laughter began to swell in his mind. It was only because of his heat that he was this susceptible to Ren’s charm. There was nothing else. There would never be anything else. They would never be.... 

“We’re quite a pair, huh?” Ren said, cutting into Akechi’s thoughts.

Akechi didn’t look up. “Are we?” It wasn’t a question. They were not a pair. They were not anything. Akechi did _not_ feel a dull ache in his chest. The sensation he felt was simply hunger. He began to eat, no longer enjoying the food. 

There was a long pause before Ren spoke again. “Anyway, Boss will be closing up soon, so if you need, you know. More help. We can, uh, take care of it then.” It was all very matter-of-fact, as if Ren was talking about doing chores, not mating.

Akechi froze, a piece of chicken halfway to his mouth. Convincing himself that there was nothing between them was one thing; hearing Ren acknowledge it so casually was another thing entirely.

**_You see? You mean nothing to him, omega. You are simply a vessel for his lust, nothing more._ **

It was too much. Between his heat, his hunger, the effort in trying to avoid certain thoughts and emotions, Akechi could no longer deflect. “Don’t... don't you want to?”

Ren looked up. "I mean, yeah? Of course." He chewed a bite of sandwich and swallowed. "I haven't taken the alpha blockers since Thursday. I'm rarin' to go."

Something about that seemed wrong to Akechi, some note out of tune, but in his current state, all he could focus on was how little Ren seemed to care about it.

About _him._

"Oh." Akechi stared at his food. Suddenly he wasn't hungry anymore. The morsel of chicken fell from his chopsticks back into the container.

This time, Loki only had to laugh to deepen Akechi’s misery. Except now the sound echoing through his skull came with a lick of pain, sharp as a slap to the face. Akechi hissed, clutching his head.

"What's the matter?" Ren was there in less than a blink, crouching beside his chair. "Goro, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." Akechi shook his head, his fingers grasping his hair, pulling it taut. "It's nothing." Gritting his teeth, he bit back a whimper as Loki continued to mock him.

"It's not nothing. You're in pain." Ren's tone was no longer standoffish. He wrapped his arms around Akechi's shoulders, pulling him close. "Is it a headache? I want to help."

"You want to help everyone," Akechi accused. But his fingers loosened his grip as he leaned into Ren. Why did it have to feel so _good_ to be held like this?

Ren sighed, his breath tickling the top of Akechi's head. "Yeah. I do. Augh, I'm messing this up. Look, forget what I said just now, ok? I thought that's the way you wanted it. You know. Casual."

In a very tiny voice, Akechi heard himself confess, "I don't know what I want."

Immediately, Loki sent spikes of pain through his mind, his way of punishing Akechi for frivolous desires. Akechi tensed up, clenching his eyes closed against the pain.

If Ren heard what Akechi had said, he gave no indication. But he didn't let go either. "Come on, you need food." Keeping an arm around Akechi's shoulders, he picked up a piece of chicken and held it up.

Being hand-fed like a useless baby should have been humiliating in the extreme, but Akechi already felt so pathetic that he couldn't bring himself to object. Dutifully, he ate the nugget, and then another.

The salty, fatty meat was, indeed, satisfying. Akechi felt less dizzy, although the pain in his head from Loki was still overwhelming. When Ren reached for the food again, Akechi grabbed his wrist. "You don't have to," he said, wincing as he tried to wrest control of the situation. Even in his addled state of mind, Akechi knew that Loki would stop tormenting him once he regained mastery and closed off his heart. "I'm not a child."

"I certainly hope not," Ren said. "My criminal record is long enough as is."

It was in poor taste -- barely humorous enough to even qualify as a joke, save for Ren's dry delivery. But once the words registered in Akechi's mind, he snorted. "True."

Ren smirked. "You know what's even longer than that?"

"What?"

Ren stared at him, eyes glinting with mirth, his lips pursed together tightly as he held back the punchline.

"I don't under-- oh, come _on."_ Akechi rolled his eyes as he half-heartedly pushed Ren away.

"My skin flute!" Ren crowed, falling dramatically to the floor.

His antics were puerile, but that didn’t stop Akechi from giggling. As with yesterday, somehow the laughter loosened Loki's hold. His headache eased. Akechi was careful not to think about it too hard. "I can't believe I'm going to have sex with you."

Ren grinned up at him from the floor. "You don't have to."

"No, I'm gonna."

Scrambling back to his chair, Ren scooted closer to Akechi. "Eat first," he said, holding up another bite. "You'll need your strength to take my Manly Knot."

"Oh please, I think I can handle it." Despite his words, Akechi allowed Ren to hand-feed him. 

This time, the tips of Ren’s fingertips brushed Akechi’s lips. Suddenly things started to feel serious again, the childish giggles giving way to the silence of anticipation. 

“More?” Ren asked, his voice catching slightly.

“Mm,” Akechi nodded. “Please.”

Ren’s hand quivered slightly as he picked up the bite of food. Akechi opened his mouth tentatively, his breath coming quicker. This time, Ren’s fingertips ghosted over the tip of Akechi’s tongue; Akechi closed his lips over them, sucking ever so slightly before Ren pulled away.

As sensual as it was, it did leave Akechi with a mouthful of chicken, which had to be chewed and swallowed. Unfortunately it was rather a large piece; any lingering sexual tension dissipated as he chewed, and chewed, and chewed. Eventually Ren started laughing again, and then Akechi did too, choking slightly on his food, which made them both laugh harder.

The interruption was for the best, as a moment later, Sojiro called up the stairs. “Hey, I’m locking up.”

Although it wasn’t a summons per se, Ren rose. “Be right back. I mean it this time,” he said to Akechi.

As disappointing as it was to be left alone again, Akechi took the opportunity to eat properly, helping himself to a rice ball and a bottle of Earl Green. Despite Ren’s atrocious joke earlier, Akechi didn’t want to risk being too weak and dizzy for sex. 

Of course, the prospect of laying there, too weak to move, while Ren knotted him was strangely enticing. Ren had been very respectful and conscientious so far, but a part of Akechi wished he wasn’t. He wanted Ren to want him so desperately as to lose all control of himself; he wanted Ren to use him for his own selfish pleasure, the strength of his animalistic desire for Akechi overcoming his normal sense of propriety. 

After so many hours of waiting, it didn’t take much for his body to respond to such thoughts. Akechi felt his cock stiffen while his entrance began to grow slick. 

How much longer would he have to wait? He could hear Sojiro talking to Ren, plus the clatter of dishes. Was he making Ren do _more_ chores? Biting back a whine, Akechi grabbed his bag off the desk and scampered back into bed.

He rifled through his things, pulling out a medium-sized plug. Normally it would take him several minutes to stretch and take it, but thanks to his heat, his body was all too eager to accept the toy. Akechi groaned as he felt the plug sink into his body.

Rather than provide relief, the stimulation only added to Akechi’s desperation. He rolled to his stomach, humping the mattress, squeezing his glutes to make the toy press inside him the way he needed. 

It felt amazing. Even if Akechi had wanted to, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop. The point was moot; stopping was the last thing on his mind. Hadn’t he waited long enough? Some childish part of Akechi actually wanted Ren to walk in on him masturbating, as if that would somehow punish the alpha for his inattention.

In this, at least, he got what he wanted: a few minutes later, Ren came bounding up the stairs two at a time, skidding to a halt when he saw Akechi writhing on the bed.

For a beat, neither of them spoke, though Ren’s hand strayed to the growing bulge at his crotch. “Wow,” he finally said.

Akechi drew a ragged breath. “Aren’t you going to do anything?”

“I am doing something. I’m watching.” Ren continued to stroke himself through his pants.

“Looks like -- ngh -- you’re doing more than watching.” Akechi reached back and adjusted the plug.

“Damn, are you --?” Ren swallowed hard, licking his lips as his eyes tracked the motion of Akechi’s hand.

“Isn’t that what you wanted?” Why did he ask that?

“Yes,” Ren breathed. “Oh yes.” He took a few steps closer. “Can -- can I see?”

The prospect of showing off for Ren made him shiver. He nodded, arching his back as he fumbled to move the fabric of the yukata away. 

Even if he hadn’t been able to feel the cool air on his skin, Akechi would have known when he was exposed by the way Ren groaned, clutching himself through his pants. “Fuck,” he swore, his eyes fixed on Akechi’s display. “You’re beautiful.”

Akechi knew full well that he was physically attractive; he used it to his advantage every chance he got. But coming from Ren, the unexpected praise ratcheted Akechi’s pleasure exponentially higher. He felt his face flush beet red, but he couldn’t look away from the way Ren was watching him. It occurred to him that there was a good chance that he might come like this. 

As if Ren could hear his thoughts, he said, “Can you finish this way? For me?”

Akechi nodded, panting. 

“Do it. Please. I... I want to see.”

As aroused as Akechi was, it took a surprisingly long time to finish. He rode the edge of orgasm for what felt like forever before finally spilling into his hand with a breathy moan.

Ren was breathing hard too. “Goro, I want to fuck you.”

As banal as the statement was, it was exactly what Goro wanted to hear. “Yes, please. I need it.”

Ren was already pulling off his clothes, stumbling over his discarded trousers on his way to the bed. Still shuddering with the aftershocks from his first orgasm, Goro reached around to try and remove the plug.

“Let me?” Ren’s hand hovered over Goro’s lower back. When he nodded, Ren pulled the toy out of Goro with agonizing slowness. They both groaned, though Goro’s voice rose to a whimper when Ren traced his slick entrance with a reverent fingertip. 

“Please,” Goro begged, arching his back. 

Ren’s answer was to press into Goro, thrusting slowly all the way to the knot. Once again, they both moaned together. Ren leaned forward, caging Goro’s body with his own, trapping him under his body weight.

It was almost exactly what Goro needed. Almost. “Knot me,” he whined. 

Ren chuckled, the sound very loud in Goro’s ear. “Greedy. You’re not gonna let me enjoy this first?” He gave a hard thrust.

“NNNgh!” Goro felt another orgasm start to grow inside his core. “Waited all day,” he whined.

“I know, I know. So good, waiting for me,” Ren murmured, his lips tracing the shell of Goro’s ear. “You didn’t have to. Why didn’t you get yourself off?”

“Couldn’t,” Goro gasped. “Too afraid -- oh! -- too afraid I’d be caught.”

Ren gave an approving growl, nuzzling the nape of his neck. “Yeah? You seemed to like coming for me just now well enough. Maybe you like to show off, hmm?”

Goro’s fingers grasped the sheets. He was too far gone to censor his words. “Only for you.”

For a fraction of a second, Ren froze. In the space that it took Goro to wonder if he’d said something wrong, Ren began to fuck him again, hard and fast and almost too rough. He began to mumble under his breath, nibbling and mouthing at Goro’s neck: “Nngh, fuck yes, so good, so _good.”_ He pressed the flat of his teeth against the nape of Goro’s neck.

Suddenly, the prospect of taking Ren’s knot wasn’t nearly enough. Goro wanted his teeth as well, no prompting from Loki required. “More, more,” he breathed. “Your teeth, I -- oh god, please. Please?”

Though the pace of his thrusts didn’t falter, Ren growled so low Goro felt it in his ribs. “No.”

It felt as though Goro had been dunked in frigid water; he shuddered, gasping at Ren’s refusal. He keened in blind desperation, shoving his hips frantically into his mate, as if that would somehow change the alpha’s mind. “Please!”

Ren growled again, fucking harder, his knot making lewd smacking noises every time it met with Goro’s flesh. “Stop _asking!”_ With that, he slapped a hand over Goro’s mouth.

The rejection only fueled Goro’s insatiable need. He gnawed at Ren’s palm, whimpering and whining.

Ren continued to rut into him like a jackhammer. Fumbling, he reached his other hand around Goro’s throat. It was for leverage only; Ren applied no pressure. But the possessiveness of it sent a shiver of submission through Goro, which tipped him over the edge.

He screamed into Ren’s hand, his hips continuing to buck as his orgasm hit. Ren’s knot slipped into him, drawing out Goro’s climax until he saw stars. 

As mind-shatteringly good as it felt, eventually Goro realized something was wrong. Ren had gone utterly silent and still.

The reason wasn’t hard to deduce; Ren had made it clear from the start that a bite was off the table. “I’m sorry,” Goro said. “I got carried away. I shouldn’t have asked for... that.”

There was a long pause. “Are you alright? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Ren’s voice was level and brittle with tension.

“I’m fine.” 

Sighing, Ren nodded. He pulled them both to their sides to be more comfortable while his knot subsided. Tentatively, and with extreme awkwardness, he put his arm around Goro. 

It felt as though he was only doing it because there was nowhere else for his arm to go, not out of any desire to be close to Goro. Despite the fact that they were connected in the most intimate way possible, the moment was rife with friction.

“Maybe you should have gagged me after all,” Goro said, trying for a joke.

Ren huffed politely.

Although Goro knew he’d crossed a boundary, it was difficult to know why Ren was so upset. After all, it was just sex talk. Lots of people said things they didn’t mean during sex. 

Of course, lots of people said things they meant very much, too. 

Was Ren upset because he thought Goro didn’t mean it? Or because he hoped Goro was sincere?

The thought drifted close to attracting the attention of Loki, but Goro couldn’t let the moment pass, not like this. “I truly am sorry. I lost control. It was unexpected, I assure you.”

Ren lifted himself on to one elbow so he could look Goro in the face. “Was it?”

It was very similar to yesterday, when Ren had spoken to him about trust. Goro got the impression he was asking a totally different question, speaking in some code.

If he was, Goro couldn’t translate it. But looking up at Ren, his gray brown eyes intent and piercing, Goro felt... something. Something he wasn’t going to name or even think about. 

Before he could veer into dangerous territory, he concentrated on Ren’s question. Although Goro was an excellent liar, his system was flooded with oxytocin and endorphins. So, instead of attempting a lie, he told the truth. “I swear, it was.”

Ren’s eyes narrowed. “But did you _mean_ it?”

Goro’s face went white with fear. Somewhere in the periphery of his mind, he felt Loki begin to stir. If he told the truth -- _yes, yes, I meant it_ \-- Loki would cause him no end of pain. If he lied, Loki would fill his head and heart with twisted words, crushing whatever moments of sincere enjoyment Goro had managed to steal away. 

And so, he did neither. “Please don’t ask me that,” he whispered, his eyes tightening in anticipation of pain.

Ren inhaled sharply, blinking in surprise. With a single nod, he laid back down on his side. This time, when he wrapped his arms around Goro, it felt like he never wanted to let go. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _the moral of the story is never write when you're hungry because damn now I want Japanese fried chicken_


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akechi's snooping goes a little too far, and he pays the price.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Heads up for whump incoming!_

Though the tension was initially quite strong, eventually Akechi felt Ren’s muscles relax around him. Which was good -- Akechi was wide awake, thanks to napping all afternoon. Navigating the rest of the evening with so much strain between them wasn’t appealing in the least.

Beside him, Ren shifted and took a deep breath, not quite a yawn.

“Am I keeping you up?” Akechi asked quietly.

There was a brief pause, then Ren snickered.

“You are _such_ an infant,” Akechi grumbled, rolling his eyes and doing his best not to smile. “You know what I mean.”

“It was a long day,” Ren said by way of answer. “Feels like I went around half the city.”

“Did you? I thought you were doing laundry.”

“Nah. I, uh, have some help when it comes to that.” Ren cleared his throat. “Ended up running all around doing errands.”

As if summoned by the magic word, from somewhere in the discarded heap of clothing, Ren’s phone made a ‘plink’ sound, like a coin inserted into an arcade game. He sighed heavily.

“Do you need to get that?”

“It’s fine. It can wait.” Ren tightened his arms fractionally, as if to say, _I’m not going anywhere._

Of course, it could have been purely a matter of logistics; his knot was still throbbing inside Akechi. But the gesture sent up a welter of confused emotions nonetheless.

Akechi kept the conversation going to distract himself. “Do you have a different notification for everyone?”

“Pretty much,” Ren said. 

Akechi thought back to the last 24 hours; he must have heard at least eight or nine distinct sounds and vibration patterns; clearly, more people than just the Phantom Thieves were vying for Ren’s time. Akechi had long suspected Ren had a wide network of supporters. “You’re in high demand, huh.”

Ren gave a dry laugh. “Aren’t you?”

“Fair enough.” Akechi didn’t press the issue, but filed the knowledge away. “Does that mean you have a sound for me as well?”

The pause which followed was miniscule, but fraught. “Yeah.”

“Are you going to tell me what it is?”

Another pause. “It’s the sound of a man getting absolutely crushed in a game of pool.”

Akechi hummed in amusement. “I know that sound well, since I hear it from you all the time.”

Ren snorted into Akechi’s hair, his laughter tickling the nape of his neck. 

The motion was enough to dislodge his shrinking knot. They both leapt into action to contain the mess. Akechi scurried downstairs to use the restroom first. When he came back up, Ren had put on his pajamas and was changing the sheets yet again, snapping the fabric so it billowed over the bed.

“I was going to do that,” Akechi protested.

“Too slow, Ace Detective. Too slow.” Ren winked at him and slipped downstairs.

Akechi grumbled under his breath. Out of habit, he retrieved his phone from the charger and checked his notifications. As he scrolled through them, he heard Ren’s phone make yet another sound -- the cocking of a gun. 

He blinked. It never occurred to Akechi that he’d have access to Ren’s phone for any amount of time. It was an enormous opportunity -- just scrolling through Ren’s contacts would likely provide a treasure trove of information. 

And yet, he hesitated. He was swimming in endorphins and bonding hormones, making the idea of violating Ren's privacy thoroughly distasteful. Which was ridiculous; hasn't he already read the journal? Akechi kept his mind trained on assessing the risk as the internal debate ate up precious time. Ren would likely only be downstairs for a moment or two. If there were any type of locking mechanism on the phone, Akechi likely wouldn’t be able to crack it before Ren returned. And if he were caught snooping, it would ruin the bond he was attempting to create.

Thinking it over in this way increased the risk past acceptable levels, making the point moot. Still, it wasn’t as though Goro wasn’t curious from a personal perspective. This wasn’t just about the Phantom Thieves; it was about him, specifically. Smirking, he opened a text window to Ren: _Strange, this doesn’t sound like losing to me._ He hit send.

Goro fully expected to hear a totally benign notification sound, or at the most, some form of an audible joke. What he heard instead were eight notes played on a jazz guitar, the tune instantly recognizable.

_The falling leaves_

_drift by the window..._

He froze. That song! 

Goro remembered back to a few months ago, on a sticky-hot night in late June. In his ongoing attempt to learn more about his foe, he had invited Ren to Jazz Jin, a trendy club in Kichijoji. Mostly he wanted to intimidate Ren, play up his knowledge of jazz and music, show off his access to more adult spaces. 

It was intensely important to Goro that he make a good impression on Ren. At the time, he reasoned (carefully, carefully) that impressing the leader of the Phantom Thieves was intrinsic to his long-term goal of infiltrating the group. He had convinced himself and Loki that the plan would only succeed if Ren saw him as cultured, intelligent, suave. The fact that some small, soft kernel of his heart wanted these things simply because he wanted Ren’s approval was easy to ignore, locked away in the dark spaces he kept secret.

And so, they went to the club. Goro had a few flashes of memory: the air conditioning was turned too high and Ren’s glasses fogged up; their drinks sweated puddles on the tables, making his cuffs damp. Mostly though, Goro remembered that Ren was unusually quiet, fiddling nervously with his straw wrapper.

He was always a man of few words -- in fact, until recently, Goro thought he almost never spoke. But that evening, he was more recalcitrant than usual. At the time, Goro attributed it to nerves. In fact he’d gloated about it in his mind, glad that he’d made an impression. 

But there was that one moment... the vocalist was singing this song, in fact. _Autumn Leaves._ A true classic, sung in the style of Edith Piaf, the first few verses in French, with the last in English. Goro was watching the singer -- everyone was. She was very beautiful, her languid, velvety voice filling the chilled air with warmth.

It wasn’t until the final verse that Goro realized Ren’s attention wasn’t on the stage. Perhaps it was a glint from his glasses that caught in Goro’s peripheral vision. Whatever the reason, he turned to find that Ren was looking at him. 

In the dim lights, it was impossible to see his eyes behind his scruffy hair and the glare on his lenses. His face gave no hint to his emotions, either; he might as well have been carved from stone. 

At the time, Goro’s stomach had quivered from the intensity of the moment. He almost felt trapped in Ren’s gaze, and some secret part of him revelled in the feeling. But then Ren swallowed hard and turned back to the stage.

Then it was over: the song ended, their drinks drained. It was getting to be too late for high schoolers to be hanging out in such a place, so they left. In an attempt to regain some control of the situation, Akechi asked Ren about it once they’d gotten outside. “You seemed to enjoy that last song very much.”

Ren glanced at him. For an instant, it seemed like there was a hint of panic in his eyes, but then he smirked with his usual insouciance. “Je parle un peu français,” he said. 

“Ah,” Goro nodded sagely, as if he wasn’t at all impressed to find out Ren spoke French. “I’m afraid you have the advantage of me in that respect.”

“My English is shit though,” Ren said, shaking his head modestly. 

“Then together we understand the whole song,” Goro said, smiling politely. 

He hadn’t meant anything by it, but Ren stopped in his tracks. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess we do.”

Goro had intended to look up the translation of the French lyrics later that evening, but he never got around to it. In fact he forgot all about the evening until he heard the notification on Ren’s phone. It was just one of the dozen or so outings he enjoyed with Ren -- there was no other significance to it. 

Except, clearly, there had been for Ren. Quickly, Goro searched for a translation of the French verses of the song on his phone. 

_It is a song that we resemble_

_Of you, who loved me, and I loved you_

_We both lived our lives together_

_You, who loved me, as I loved you_

_But life comes between those who love each other_

_Slowly, without a sound_

_As the sea erases from the sand_

_The footsteps of lovers torn apart_

Goro stared at the screen. His hands trembled. 

All these months, Ren heard this song every time Akechi texted him. _It is a song that we resemble._ Unlike the ambiguous words crossed out in the journal, the meaning of the ringtone brooked no confusion. It was clear that Ren had thought there was some romantic potential between them, to the point of memorializing it with this song. 

Did he still think so? Did these words sing to him while they mated? Would they still sing when Ren discovered Akechi’s betrayal? 

Would Ren hear this song in his mind as he died?

Up until that point in time, Akechi’s victims were distant, disconnected. A name in the newspaper, a photo in a magazine. He infiltrated their hearts without the burden of remorse. 

But just because he hadn’t felt remorse at the time didn’t mean the emotion was absent; it was merely redirected. Somewhere in that maze he called a mind, a box had been stuffed to bursting with it, locked tight. 

No longer. With rising panic, Goro felt the first waves of that long-forgotten emotion begin to lap at his feet. 

_As the sea erases from the sand_ _  
_ _The footsteps of lovers torn apart_

A tidal wave of regret and anguish washed over him. Not only for the things he’d done, but for the actions he had yet to take. After all, he hadn’t betrayed Ren _yet._

But he would. 

It was inevitable. Akechi had made the choice long ago. The pieces were already in play. Ren would die -- how, he wasn’t quite sure. Akechi would have to live with it for the rest of his life, wondering what could have been.

He could sense Loki revelling in his suffering.

It was only a few seconds later that Ren came back upstairs. “Hey, so I -- what’s wrong? Is it your headache again?” 

Goro blinked up at him, shaking his head. He glanced at the pile of clothing on the floor, trying to form a coherent thought.

Frowning in concern, Ren retrieved his phone. As he unlocked it, his frown deepened. “You texted me.” His eyes flicked up to stare at Goro, hard as agates.

Flinching, Goro nodded. “I thought -- the sound, I thought it --” He hung his head. “I thought it would be funny,” he said finally.

Closing his eyes, he waited for Loki to punish him for his traitorous emotions. He knew it was coming; it would only be a few seconds before the pain started.

Ren knelt in front of Goro’s chair, holding him by the shoulders. “Hey. Hey, look at me.”

Goro peeked on eye open, fully expecting a lecture or worse. 

Ren raised an eyebrow. “Why was Pavlov’s hair so soft?”

Goro blinked in confusion. “What?”

“Pavlov. You know. With the dogs. Why was his hair so soft?” 

“His... hair? I don’t --”

“Because it was _conditioned.”_ Ren actually shook him by the shoulders to drive the point home.

No, not the point -- the _punchline._ “That’s terrible,” Goro said.

“I know.” Ren nodded seriously, as if they were discussing some life-and-death topic.

His delivery drew out a few tentative sputters of laughter from Goro. But it was too little, too late.

**_ENOUGH!_ **

Loki’s voice felt like a bomb going off inside Goro’s mind. He screamed, clutching his head. If Ren hadn’t been there to catch him, he would have fallen out of the chair.

He was vaguely aware of Ren half-carrying him to the bed. As soon as he hit the mattress, Goro curled into a ball, almost pulling out his hair in an attempt to distract himself from the pain. Waves of nausea overtook him. In between dry-heaves, he whimpered _I’msorryI’msorryI’msorry._

Ren moved away; Goro could hear him talking to... someone else? A phone call, perhaps? He might as well have been on the moon. There was nothing Ren could do to help against Loki, after all. 

The trickster god continued to torment him. It wasn’t so much the words which caused pain as it was the volume. There was simply no shield, no escape, no oubliette into which Goro could slip away. 

**_BEHOLD, EVEN YOUR PATHETIC ALPHA LOVER HAS ABANDONED YOU. OPEN YOUR EYES._ **

Against his will, Goro managed to squint one eye open. Loki was right. Ren was gone. 

With a groan of agony, Goro rolled toward the wall. Loki made sure to laugh at him, remind him that no one truly cared about him, that only Loki could bring him the success he so desperately craved. 

And yet, somewhere in Goro’s awareness, he became cognizant of the sound of the front door slamming open, of a rapid conversation downstairs, of footsteps -- too many -- running up to the attic.

“Sudden onset headache, you say?” A woman’s voice, deep and raspy and dispassionate. “And he’s on his heat?”

“Yeah, he’s had headaches all weekend but --”

“No doctors,” Goro protested automatically.

“You’re not in any shape to object, kiddo,” the woman drawled. “And you said he was on artificial alpha pheromones?” 

“Uh, yeah.”

“Sounds like thunderclap migraine.” 

Goro managed to roll over, expecting to see a doctor. What he saw instead was a goth in a micro-mini skirt, holding a medical kit. “Wha--?”

“You can trust her,” Ren said quickly.

“I’m going to give you a mild relaxant and painkiller,” she said, filling a syringe.

“Won’t help,” Goro mumbled.

“Are you refusing treatment?”

**_TAKE THE BITCH’S DRUGS BEFORE YOU BETRAY US BOTH._ **

With a squeal of pain, Goro said, “Do it.”

The prick of the needle barely registered against the pain in Goro’s head, but after about half a minute, it began to fade. He suspected that had everything to do with Loki and nothing to do with the drug.

“Hold on, aren’t you --” the doctor said as Goro’s face relaxed. Her eyes narrowed in recognition. She turned her head slowly to cast a questioning glance up at Ren.

For his part, Ren looked deeply uncomfortable, rubbing the back of his neck. 

The doctor rose to her feet, sighing. “I really don’t understand you at all sometimes. Anyway, the effects of the drug will wear off overnight. It looks like you weren’t planning on going anywhere, though.” She looked around the room, her nose scrunching slightly at the scent.

“What do I owe you?” Ren asked.

“We’ll square up later, my little guinea pig. For now, just... keep an eye on this one. Hydration is key. Make sure he eats properly, too.”

“Thank you so much,” Ren said, the words coming out in a whoosh of gratitude. He turned towards the stairs.

“I can show myself out,” she drawled. “I know how to lock a door behind me.”

Once she was gone, Ren sat on the edge of the bed but didn’t speak.

The pain had already receded to a dull ache. “I said no doctors,” Goro murmured.

“Yeah. You did.” 

Goro stretched his legs, wincing as the cramped muscles loosened. He knew from Ren’s reply that he wouldn’t get an apology. Not that he deserved one. “I’ll leave in the morning.”

“You don’t have to. You know that, right? You can stay as long as you want.”

Goro sighed. He didn’t want to have this conversation. The drugs were kicking in; he felt lethargic. “You’ve done more than enough.”

Ren hung his head. “Apparently not.” He fetched a soft drink from the shopping bag still on the table and handed it over. “Here. If the doc says you need it, you really need it.”

“She’s really a doctor?”

Ren nodded. “She runs the clinic around the corner.” 

Goro dutifully took small sips of the drink. His mind dully turned over this new discovery. Ren had mentioned having a talented doctor. She would be added to the list of people who had aided and abetted the Phantom Thieves. Although alpha-blockers weren’t illegal, they were unusual enough to constitute probable cause for a search of the doctor’s records. From that point it was inevitable.

“How’s the pain?” Ren asked after a moment.

“Better,” Goro said. “Thank you.”

Ren nodded. “Get some rest. I’m going to clean up a little.”

Goro hunkered under the covers. Perhaps it was good that Ren had called the doctor after all; with the drugs numbing his senses, the prospect of going to sleep without Ren beside him barely registered as a loss. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For any jazz fans or francophones out there, I took a bit of liberty with the translation of the song. :D It's on the [fic playlist,](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7kj7h0SEnP0II1KFpBE37S?si=FrPB15hjSR-Z9_npYjfLjQ) and also [on youtube](https://youtu.be/o7MzxbH-v2g) if you want to hear it. (For some reason the youtube version has the English verses first, while the Spotify version has the French verses first? It's a mystery.)
> 
> Also I'll probably be updating in the middle of the week rather than on Sundays from here out, in case anyone is interested.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akechi receives a tarot reading in Shinjuku. It does not go as he expected.

Waking up in the silence of his own room, in his own bed, had never felt so lonely as it did that Monday. With the last, lingering traces of his heat dissipating, Akechi felt a sickening sense of loss at the absence of his mate, however temporary and self-serving the arrangement had been. He quickly pushed it from his mind. It was time to get back to work.

Ren had bundled Akechi onto the train, groggy and half-aware, yesterday morning before the sun came up. Once he got home, Akechi spent most of the day sleeping, both as a consequence of the strange doctor’s drugs and a desire to shut away any chance of painful thoughts. 

But his system had returned to normal. He had no excuse for further sloth or self-pity. In a way, it was good to be distracted by the inconsequential matters of school and work. The problem lay in what to do after his obligations for the day were fulfilled.

It was still relatively early in the evening, though the wan November sun had already set. He did not go straight home -- the prospect of facing the cold silence of his rooms was daunting. Too many chances to think about the wrong sorts of things, like the way his skin burned under Ren’s fingertips, or the curve of his lips, the tickle of his breath in Akechi’s ear....

Such thoughts were at best distractions and at worst dangerous. Instead he took the subway to Shinjuku, intending to get a bite to eat and then wander the streets, basking in the commotion. It would tire him physically, which he desperately needed after so much sleep the day before. And on occasion, the distraction of the sights and sounds of the crowd actually made it easier to contemplate the things he truly needed to think about: how best to bring down the Phantom Thieves.

In truth, there was some nagging discomfort about the weekend. Not in the emotional sense -- Akechi was careful not to dwell on that. No, it was some detail, or maybe several, which seemed... off. But his memories of events were clouded by the disorientation of his heat.

There was also the matter of the code in Ren’s journal. Akechi knew it was possible the words were chosen at random, in which case spending time trying to decipher the pattern would be an exercise in futility. But some instinct told him that the words were related. If only he could remember where he’d seen those terms together before!

As he walked the streets of Shinjuku, Akechi heard a woman’s voice say, “Ah. Daishikyo. The high priest.”

Akechi stumbled to a halt, whirling around to see who spoke. It was a fortune teller, a pretty young blond, performing a card reading for a middle-aged woman at a folding table crammed into a corner of the alley. Akechi moved closer to eavesdrop as the reading continued. 

_Magician. Tower. Chariot. Hanged Man. High Priest._ It was all there, all the words in Ren’s code, one after the other. Of course, these were the symbols of the tarot! 

Akechi tried to remember anything he could about tarot cards, which wasn’t very much. While the reading continued he pulled out his phone, both to provide an excuse to stand nearby and to look up some basic information while he listened in. There were major and minor arcana, and four suits which eventually evolved to become a standard deck of cards, but that was all he could recall. It seemed as though Ren’s code referred only to the major arcana, which narrowed it down quite a bit.

“Finally, we have Justice,” the fortune teller continued. She went on to tell her customer what the card meant in the context of the reading.

 _Justice._ That was the word Ren wrote on the day they met at the TV station. Did the code refer to specific people? It was the most plausible scenario. 

The fact that Ren associated him with the concept of Justice sent up a tiny flare of warmth, quickly whisked away to the forgotten corners of his heart.

If Akechi could crack the code somehow, that might lead to the identification of Ren’s support network. Although Akechi had identified a few probable candidates, these were mostly other students such as Togo-san and Mishima-kun. Ren had to be getting material support from adults, though. Like that strange doctor. Finding the bigger fish, the people who were supplying Ren with equipment and resources, would cement Akechi’s success.

The fortune teller’s voice cut through his musings. “Would you like a reading, sir?” She smiled up at him. “I sense a great turmoil in you.”

Akechi considered it. He had no interest in things such as this normally, but perhaps there might be insight to be gained. “I suppose it can’t hurt,” he smiled, taking a seat. 

The woman shuffled the cards. “Is there anything in particular you wish to know?”

As far as Akechi was concerned, she could pull cards at random, as long as she explained their meaning. But then he had a sudden thought, prompted by a nudge from Loki. “Recently, a friend told me he has a certain skill which would free me from a great burden. However, he refused to teach me, saying his ability was innate. Can you tell me if he was lying?”

With a sparkling peal of laughter, the fortune teller shook her head. “I’m afraid I cannot be that specific, not without your friend present. However, I can ask the cards to show me the way by which you may release your burden. If the path leads toward your friend....” She tilted her head and smiled encouragingly.

“Fair enough.”

“We begin with the foundation.” She flipped over a card. “Justice, reversed.”

The coincidence that the first card was the one Ren used to refer to Akechi himself was rather ironic. The upside-down card was illustrated with a king on a throne, one hand holding a sword aloft, the other a set of scales. “Reversed?”

“The meaning of a card depends on its position,” she said. “Cards which are reversed can sometimes mean their opposite. Or, it can indicate that the meaning has become twisted. So this could indicate a situation which is unfair, or perhaps a person whose sense of justice has become distorted. The next card will provide context.”

She flipped over another card, laying it partially atop the first. It was a very similar image, of a king holding a sword, though he lacked the scales. 

“King of Swords, also reversed. This indicates the first card refers to a person, someone who is misusing their power, twisting it for their own selfish gain. Often this person is, um, rather egotistical and arrogant, possibly a bit of a show off.” The fortune teller’s cheeks bloomed with a delicate flush.

“You mean me? It’s okay, I can handle a little criticism.” Akechi gave her a winning smile. It was all just random anyhow, even if the cards didn’t paint a flattering picture. 

“The foundational issue is often found within our own heart,” she said diplomatically. “Let us explore the path forward. The next card will show the near future if nothing changes, which is to say, you do _not_ find a way to release your burden.” 

The Ten of Swords was pulled, showing a figure lying on the ground with a plethora of swords in his back. “Oh dear, that does look bad,” Akechi grinned. Inwardly, he chafed. He didn’t care about swords and kings, only the major arcana cards. Belatedly, he realized his time would be better spent looking up the meanings of the cards online. Well, with any luck this wouldn’t take long. It would be rude to cut the reading short.

The fortune teller quailed. “This is... very bad. If you continue on your current course, you will face a painful end, a betrayal from a source you cannot yet fathom. It will come swiftly, as a stab to the back, and everything you’ve worked for will fail.” She looked up at him. “As it stands now, you cannot possibly see the source of this betrayal. You are too caught up in your personal circumstances to anticipate it.” She tapped the first two cards.

“Oh my,” Akechi nodded, trying to sound serious and failing.

The fortune teller sighed and shook her head, her brow furrowed. “A skeptic, I see. If you are not yet open to the truths I might reveal, then perhaps -- oh! You’re here!” She looked over Akechi’s shoulder, her face clearing into a sunny smile. “I wasn’t sure you’d make it.”

Akechi turned to see Ren’s characteristic slouch silhouetted against a streetlamp. What the hell was he doing here?

“Sorry,” he said. “Had to double back to get something. Got here as fast as I could.” Ren glanced casually at Akechi, adjusting his glasses. There was no sense of recognition, indeed, almost no acknowledgement that Akechi was there at all. It was as if Akechi was just another person seeking their fortune, and not the omega who took Ren’s knot only two days before.

Akechi knew that he’d see Ren again at _some_ point, but he didn’t expect it to be so soon. And he certainly didn’t expect that Ren would be so frigid as to treat him like a complete stranger. _How dare he!_ Two days ago this would have sent Akechi into a spiral of self-loathing. But he was no longer on his heat. Instead, Akechi felt the first twinge of anger, his nostrils flaring as he pushed the emotion down. 

The fortune teller didn’t notice anything amiss between them. “It’s no problem at all,” she said. “In fact you’re just in time. This customer is quite skeptical. I could use your expertise.” She moved over to give Ren space beside her.

“Expertise?” Akechi asked. Since Ren hadn’t acknowledged him, he decided to play along with Ren’s stupid little game. More importantly, it appeared that Ren had some connection to this fortune teller. If he could weigh in on the meaning of the cards, then Akechi would have direct insight into the code words.

“Amamiya-kun has an incredible insight into matters of fate. He’s just the person to help you with the problem of your burden.”

“Mifune-san is too kind,” Ren murmured.

“Ah, a tarot prodigy?” Akechi gave Ren a bland smile. “How clever.”

Ren ignored him, taking a seat next to the fortune teller. “What’s this about a burden?” he asked. 

“There’s no need to explain,” Akechi said quickly, cutting off the fortune teller. The last thing he needed was for Ren to know his original question. “If Amamiya-senpai is as talented as you say, shouldn’t he be able to help from just these?” He gestured at the cards already on the table, batting his eyelashes.

“Well --” The fortune teller looked at Ren, biting her lip nervously.

“Sure,” Ren said, folding his arms. “I’m game.” He leaned over the table, peering at the cards. After a moment, his eyes slowly rose to look at Akechi over the rim of his glasses. 

“Justice, reversed, king of swords, reversed. A man who has allowed his ego and ambition to twist the fairness and justice he once held dear.” His eyes were dark and piercing, tightened with... what? Sadness? Pity? How patronizing.

Akechi wasn’t about to let that slide. “Allowed? Is it not possible that fate itself did the twisting? So many of us are victims of circumstance, after all.”

Ren didn’t respond directly. “You’re aiming for a bad end,” he said, nodding at the ten of swords.

“Am I now? Fascinating.”

“Do you two... know each other?” The fortune teller frowned in confusion.

“Only in passing,” Akechi said, pre-empting whatever Ren was about to say. “Though I admit, I had no idea you had such _skills.”_

“Pfft. Not like you ever asked.” Ren’s shrug added the unspoken implication _because you never stop talking about yourself._

Akechi blinked in shock, his mouth hanging open. He’d never experienced this side of Ren before. What the hell was his problem today?

“Yes, well... moving on.” Mifune picked up the deck once more. “Let’s see if we can learn more about this friend of yours.” She turned over the next card. “Ah, the Fool.”

Caught up in the antagonism stewing between them, Akechi couldn’t help but snort with laughter, covering it badly with a cough.

Mifune did not like this at all. “You may laugh, but the Fool has the number zero, meaning he has unlimited potential. In a way, all of the cards relate back to him; the major arcana mark the milestones of the Fool’s journey to enlightenment. You see? There on the card, he is about to step off a ledge, unafraid of what the future holds. His eyes are fixed on the heavens. The dog at his feet represents loyalty, support, and protection. With him, he has taken the barest minimum of material possessions, because such a journey is not aided by wealth or influence. Your friend is one who has, or will, take a leap of faith, putting his trust in the universe.”

Akechi’s smirk began to falter. That did sound remarkably like Ren. There were no mentions of the Fool in his journal, but if it represented Ren himself, there would be no need. “Fascinating,” he murmured sourly.

“Now we will see what your friend’s disposition is towards you, which will influence the matter at hand.”

Even though Akechi didn’t believe in any of this bullshit, he almost reached out to stop Mifune from flipping the card over. But it was too late.

The card showed two people exchanging golden goblets. “Oh my.” Mifune’s face turned bright red, her hand covering her mouth.

“What? What is it?” Akechi asked.

“Uhmmm... are you only ‘friends’ with this person?”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Two of cups means a romantic or sexual bond,” Ren said, his voice utterly dispassionate. He leaned back and crossed his arms defiantly. “A very strong one.”

His tone and body language were completely at odds with how affectionate he had been over the weekend. Was that all an act? Was Akechi remembering the weekend completely wrong? Why was Ren being such an asshole? 

As baffling as it was, Akechi realized that in a way, things would be much simpler if they were at odds. It was almost a relief. 

_Almost._

“I-it can also mean, um, a strong partnership. Like in business.” Mifune gave a tremulous smile. When neither of them responded, she cleared her throat. “Uh, well, why don’t we just see what comes next. What will happen if your friend, uhmmm, does what you originally asked me.” 

On the card was a figure, bound and blindfolded, surrounded by naked blades. 

“Eight of swords.” Mifune blinked. “That is probably not the result you were looking for, though.”

Akechi grit his teeth. This was all so pointless. “What does it mean?”

“It’s not... _quite_ as bad as the ten of swords. But, as you can see, the woman on the card believes she is trapped by the blades which surround her. She believes that in any direction she moves, she will be cut down. But it is a trap of her own making. The way forward is right in front of her, and the bonds which blind her are ones she tied herself.”

“Huh,” Ren said, in a tone that indicated he was the opposite of surprised. “Imagine that.”

Akechi felt a flush of anger rise on his cheeks. Suddenly he wanted to be as far away from Ren and his smug, condescending, patronizing attitude as possible. This was all such utter crap. “Well, that was very interesting,” he said, gathering himself to rise. “How much do I owe you for the reading?”

“Sit down. We’re not done yet.” Ren said flatly. 

“Um....” Mifune glanced between them, seemingly confused by Ren’s attitude. To Akechi she said, “Don’t you want to know how to obtain a better result?”

Akechi wanted no such thing. He wanted insight into Ren’s code, not pabulum about faith and arrogance and twisted justice. But neither did he want to look like a complete asshole; he did have a reputation to uphold, and he had no doubt Ren would tell Mifune who he was as soon as he left. “If the future is so immutable as to be foretold by the cards, is there any reason I should?”

“Oh, but that is where Amamiya-kun excels!” Mifune grinned broadly, clearly relieved to have a way to break the tension. “He is especially skilled in changing fates.” She turned to Ren. “What do you think?”

Ren stared hard at Akechi, his eyes tightening into a squint. “I think... I think if you asked your friend for something and that is the result --” Ren paused, pushing the eight of swords forward an inch, “-- then you asked the wrong question. Maybe Mifune-sensei can show you what you _should_ be asking for.”

Akechi sighed. “Fine.” This was such a fucking waste of time. 

Mifune ignored his tone, gleefully pulling the next card. “Ah! Now we’re making progress. Six of Pentacles.”

Akechi watched Ren’s face, not the card. Ren’s eyebrows rose in mild surprise, then the faintest hint of a relieved smile played around the corners of his lips.

All Akechi cared about was that it was yet another symbol that had nothing to do with Ren’s code. “Pentacles?”

“Coins,” Mifune clarified. “The suit generally deals with material wealth, though it may also refer to intangible resources. This is a card of giving and receiving, of generosity and charity.”

The illustration on the card was straightforward: a man of wealth and means offering a handful of coins to the beggars at his feet. In his other hand held the scales of justice, aligned in perfect balance. But Akechi had no idea how it related to the present circumstance. He reminded himself that it didn’t relate at all; it was just random. 

Still, he didn’t like the smirk on Ren’s face. “What do _you_ think it means, Amamiya-senpai?”

Ren’s grin widened, showing a hint of his teeth. “It depends. You could say it’s about quid pro quo. Balancing the scales. Maybe you need to offer something to your ‘friend’ so that he gets something from the exchange. It doesn’t have to be money. It could be whatever resource you have that he lacks. Information, for example.”

Akechi opened his mouth to respond, but Ren continued. _“Or,_ perhaps you are not the rich man in this scenario. Perhaps you should ask your friend again. Maybe he didn’t realize you needed help.”

Scowling, Akechi said, “I’m not in the habit of begging.”

“No? You should try it sometime.”

There was a loaded pause as they glared at each other.

“Okay, let’s see the result!” Mifune’s tone wasn’t so much ‘chipper’ as ‘brittle’. “And... the World! Ah, excellent.” She smiled in relief. The card featured a woman in the clouds, surrounded by a wreath of laurels.

How was it possible to draw so many cards and yet see nothing from Ren’s journal? Akechi ground his jaw. “I take it this is good?”

“Very,” Mifune nodded. “It represents the triumphant end of your journey. Whatever goal you seek shall be fulfilled, bringing joy beyond measure.”

As far as Akechi was concerned, if such a result came from begging, or from allowing others to benefit from the knowledge and power he’d worked so hard to obtain, he’d rather be bound and blindfolded and surrounded by swords.

Akechi forced himself to take a calming breath. It was all meaningless; Ren was merely using the symbolism of the random cards as an excuse to antagonize him. Any disappointment Akechi might have felt at Ren's cold attitude was buried in his own frustration. “Well, this has been an enlightening experience. How much do I owe you?” He reached for his wallet.

“It’s on me,” Ren said, handing Mifune some money. 

Akechi rolled his eyes. “Is this the charity I’m supposed to accept?” 

“Quid pro quo. You’re buying me snacks. Let’s go.” Ren stood up.

Did he think Akechi was some sort of servant, just because he was an omega? Hell no. “Buy them yourself.”

Ren didn't even glance his way, pulling his bag over his shoulder. “They taste better when someone else buys them. Come on.” He turned and strode away, clearly expecting Akechi to obey.

Which, damn it all to hell, he did, trotting to catch up. “Hang on, you can’t just --”

Ren cut him off. “There’s a great taiyaki stand by the entrance to the station. What’s your favorite filling? I like sweet potato the best.”

“I’m not buying you fucking snacks!” Akechi snarled, catching Ren’s arm. 

He realized too late that his voice was too loud. Shinjuku was packed at this time of night; all around them people began to stare. A few young women began to whisper behind their hands as they recognized him.

“Temper, temper,” Ren said, adjusting his glasses. “Wouldn’t want the Ace Detective to make a scene. Bad for your _reputation.”_

Akechi ground his jaw together. “You’re lucky I don’t punch you in your smug fucking face,” he hissed.

Ren tilted his head. “Love to see you try. The entrance to the station is right over there. You wanna take this somewhere private?” He took out his phone and shook it, flashing the MetaNav. His tone was taunting, as though he was determined to press every one of Akechi’s buttons. 

“Let’s go.”

They crossed into Mementos as they stepped over the threshold to the station. Akechi began to stride down the stairs, but Ren shook his head. “This way,” he said, jabbing a thumb over his shoulder.

Akechi squinted in confusion at the glowing blue doorway in the corner. “Where did that come from?” 

“Phantom Thieves sparring ring,” Ren said. “No interference from Shadows. Nowhere for you to hide, Ace Detective.”

“I’m not going in there. It could lead anywhere.”

“What a coward you are.” Ren shook his head and walked towards the portal. 

“You piece of _shit!”_ In a surge of rage, Akechi didn’t bother with weapons or Personas; he simply lunged at Ren, intending to tackle him before he reached the door. 

He expected Ren to try to resist or block the blow. But instead, Ren half-caught him, using Akechi’s momentum to jump through the door which then snapped shut behind them. 

For a moment, the entrance to Mementos was completely silent. Then, on a high ledge, a little girl in blue kicked her feet playfully. “Do you think he knows what he’s doing?”

Another girl, in a matching blue outfit, materialized from some unseen dimension beside the door. “Who cares? He promised to take us somewhere fun. He better not let us down!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A fun thing about writing is that occasionally, a scene swerves way off course and leads you to something much more interesting than you expected. Did I expect Ren to show up in this scene? No. Did I expect them to be so shitty to each other? Also no. Did I love writing _every fucking word of them being petty assholes to each other?_ HELL THE FUCK YES
> 
> ANYWAY in case anyone hasn't played through to NG+, the twins allow you to spar with them in Mementos once you gain the Strength confidant. I didn't realize this until like my second NG+ because I never chose the correct dialogue option oops. You can watch the cutscene explaining it here: https://youtu.be/YPrjgf1EoDs
> 
> Also I headcanon that all of the train station entrances lead to the same Mementos lobby. 
> 
> Also also, tarot scenes are super fun to write because you can make the cards do anything you want. 
> 
> Also also also, thank you to everyone who has taken the time to leave supportive comments on this fic!! You all are amazing and inspirational, I can't thank you enough!!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ren knows a lot more than he let on. Akechi decides he should know more.

Akechi and Ren hurtled through the strange portal, tumbling to the ground. Some part of Akechi was aware that the surface was different to the tiled floor in the Mementos entrance. It was surprisingly springy, covered in a thick layer of dense, rubbery soil, almost like a playground.

Not that Akechi noticed the details. He was too busy trying to break free of Ren’s grapple so he could throw a proper punch. 

Hand-to-hand combat was not Akechi’s strongest suit, not to mention that he was too full of rage to fight with a clear head. Ren, on the other hand, had clearly been studying Makoto’s moves. In a flash, he shifted his own body weight to push Akechi away, rolling to his feet in a defensive crouch.

“Had enough?” he asked.

Akechi lunged for him again. This time he managed to get in a glancing elbow to the face and a solid punch to Ren’s stomach. Ren doubled over, gasping for breath. 

Without thinking, Akechi raised a hand, intending to call Robin Hood. But when he reached inside of himself to draw the power, there was nothing there. Or rather, the power was cut off, as if a wall had been erected in his mind.

“Wha- what is this?”

Clutching his stomach, Ren began to laugh weakly. “Wondered... how long it would take you,” he panted. Painfully, he stretched to stand up straight; his lip was split.

Akechi’s anger melted into panic as he frantically tried to access either Robin Hood or Loki. “What’s going on? What did you do to me??”

“Relax, you’re fine. I just set it up so we couldn’t call our personas,” Ren said, gingerly touching the cut on his lip with his fingertip. He retrieved his bag, which had gone flying in the fracas. Rooting around, he pulled out a soft drink and guzzled it. The cut disappeared. 

“You can _do_ that?”

_“I_ can’t, no. Had to pull in some favors.” 

Now that he was aware of it, the sense of quiet in Akechi’s mind was dizzying. Granted, Loki’s presence was also greatly reduced while Akechi manifested his Robin Hood persona. Even just wearing the gleaming white-and-red Crow outfit afforded Akechi a little peace. But even though Loki might not have the ability to speak or listen while Robin Hood was active, it wasn’t as if the trickster god were entirely absent. It was like muting a TV; even if one weren’t looking directly at the screen, it called out for attention nonetheless.

But this... the relief afforded by this new silence was palpable. It almost ached, the way that one’s ankles itch after wearing tight socks all day. 

Ren pulled another drink out of his bag. “You need some?” 

Akechi became aware of a twinge in his hamstring; apparently he pulled it. “Actually, yes.” He limped forward.

Ren narrowed his eyes. “Are you just saying that to make me feel better for not getting in a hit?”

“Possibly,” Akechi said, grabbing the bottle. “Is this why you were such an asshole out there? You could have just told me to meet you in Mementos.”

“Didn’t want to be overheard,” Ren said, draining the rest of his drink.

“Overheard? By whom?”

“You tell me,” Ren grunted, sitting heavily on the ground. He tapped his temple significantly.

Akechi stared at him in near-panic. Ren couldn’t _possibly_ know about Loki. It was simply inconceivable. Akechi had been flawlessly careful about only calling Robin Hood while the others were around, and there was no way that any of the Phantom Thieves could have tracked him in any of the other palaces. 

And yet, clearly, somehow, Ren _knew._

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Akechi lied. 

Ren gave a dry laugh and shook his head. “You think you’re the only one with insider information, huh?” He leaned back and stretched his legs in front of him. 

Akechi was still reeling from the sense of solitude in his mind. Being truly alone with his thoughts was disorienting. In an effort to stall, he looked around.

There wasn’t much to see. They were in an area about the size of a circus ring, lit by some unknown source. Around the perimeter were barred doors, almost like jail cells, glowing with a nebulous blue energy. Past the edges of the ring stretched a vast, empty expanse. “What is this place, exactly?”

“Some friends of mine set it up for the team to train in. Usually they’d be here, but I asked them to give us some privacy.” Ren laughed under his breath, shaking his head. “You wouldn’t believe what it cost me.”

“I don’t understand.” Akechi decided there was no point in standing around, so he sat as well.

“I know. Like I said this weekend, there are some things I literally can’t explain, even if I wanted to.” 

It was all going in circles. “Why did you bring me here?”

“To talk, just us. If you want.”

_Just us._ There it was again, a reference to their personas -- or rather, the absence of their personas. Akechi considered it. He was desperate to learn how to get rid of Loki once his business with Shido was concluded, now that he knew such things were possible. And Ren had all but told him that he knew Akechi had another persona. 

But there were two glaring problems. First, the instant they left the arena, Loki would be back in his mind, with access to his memories. Second, it was absolutely crucial that Akechi followed through on his plan to betray the Phantom Thieves, otherwise Shido would rise to power and everything Goro had spent the last two years building would crumble to dust. 

As he weighed the options, Ren spoke suddenly. “You know, I don’t think I ever told you about when I first got to Shujin, have I?”

Akechi struggled to follow the shift in conversation. “No?”

“It was so weird. Like, there was this kid in my class, and he looked... dead inside. Just... there was no light behind his eyes. He was just going through the motions.”

“Okay....”

“Once I saw it in him, I started seeing it everywhere. Suzui-chan had it too.” Ren gazed up at the void above them as though it was a work of art.

Akechi’s attention caught on the familiar name. “Shiho Suzui? The girl who jumped?”

Ren nodded. “But it wasn’t just the students. A few of the teachers had it, too. And even after Kamoshida was gone, I started seeing it all over. Yusuke had it. And Ann. Makoto too, at first. It was everywhere.”

The way he was dragging out the lecture was beginning to grate on Akechi’s nerves. He hated being patronized. “And what, pray tell, was this mysterious affliction?”

“It took me a long time to figure it out, but eventually I realized: they were all hostages. Every one of them. Their actions were being controlled by the will of others. They were trapped. No way out. They had to keep doing terrible things, to themselves or to others.” Ren stopped admiring the expanse above them and looked right at Akechi. “Once you know how to spot it, it’s easy to see. Even if someone’s trying to hide it.” 

It seemed impossible that Ren could tell he had another persona just by looking at him. Maybe he didn’t know, after all? Maybe he thought someone powerful was controlling Akechi, somehow? To buy time, Akechi went for the bluff. “Is it? You should teach me what to look for. I’m sure it will come in handy during my investigations.” 

Ren sighed. “Goro. Please. Just tell me. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what you want.”

“What... I want?” For the first time since he was fifteen, Goro didn’t have to hide from himself. After being suppressed for so long, his feelings rose up from their individual prisons, clamoring for attention, loud enough to shatter any semblance of strategy or critical thinking. He stopped thinking and simply _felt,_ inhabiting his own emotions without any interference from Loki.

There were too many desires to process, much less to verbalize. He wanted vengeance against Shido, but also justice on behalf of all the unwanted children who couldn’t claw their way out of the system the way Goro had. He wanted the destruction of the twisted society that had allowed children such as him to suffer so much. But Goro also wanted simple things -- to have friends, live a normal life, have a boyfriend. He wanted to be allowed to experience happiness, peace, contentment for one fucking minute of his miserable life.

He only realized he was crying when he saw the droplets land on the fabric of his trousers. Confused, he wiped his face to confirm they were tears and not blood.

“Oh shit,” Ren whispered. 

Of course Ren was ashamed of him. Who wouldn’t be, to see someone weep like a child for no reason? 

Ren swarmed over to him, wrapping him in a tight embrace, cradling the back of Goro’s head. “I’m sorry, Goro. I’m so sorry.”

Goro wanted to say, “You have no reason to be sorry.” But he couldn’t speak, his breath coming in racking sobs. 

He hadn’t cried since his mother died. None of the boys at the orphanage did, unless they wanted to endure the sort of horrific bullying that only broken children can wreak on each other. The only time he had come close was just after the first time he caused a mental shutdown. But, of course, Loki hadn’t liked that show of weakness one bit; his punishment was severe. 

Eventually, Goro’s sobs subsided. Ren didn’t let go, though. Tentatively, Goro wrapped his arms around Ren’s waist. It felt so _good_ to hold someone. No, not just anyone -- it felt good to hold Ren, specifically. 

“Please let me help you,” Ren murmured. “Please.”

With a broken laugh, Goro sniffled, “I thought I was the one that was supposed to beg.”

Ren laughed too. “Sorry I was such an asshole.” He nuzzled into Goro’s neck, making no indication that he ever wanted to let go.

“You should be.”

There was a lull; Goro knew he had to end this. He’d already gone much too far. The longer he stayed, the more pain he would have to endure once they left, unless by some miracle he was able to make Ren reveal something that would give him an advantage. 

Goro swallowed hard. “I know you brought me here for privacy but... that’s not how it works. I’ve already said too much. As soon as we walk out the door, I’ll have to pay the price.”

Ren tensed up. Then he pushed himself away from Goro, holding both his shoulders. “I’m such an idiot. Of course you can’t, because you’ll remember the conversation.” He leapt to his feet, knocking on the strange blue door. “Justine? Caroline? I need a favor.”

The portal opened a few inches. Goro couldn’t see the other side, but he heard a voice say, _“Another_ favor, inmate? Are you sure this is for your rehabilitation?”

It sounded like... a little girl? An incredibly bossy one, at that. Goro had no idea what was happening. Inmate?

Ren smiled. “It’s an easy one. Can you make it so he won’t remember? Like you did before.”

There was a sound of murmuring. A different little girl said, “Your request is granted. In return, we want --”

“We want to see the sharks again!” The first girl cut in.

“No, we want to go to the Tree in the Sky!”

“Caroline, we talked about this.”

“No, _you_ talked about this, Justine.”

“You’re embarrassing us in front of the inmate.”

“Ladies,” Ren cut in, holding up his hands. “We can go to both. I’ll call you when we want to leave.”

“That is acceptable.” The door closed again.

“Those two,” Ren sighed. “I don’t suppose you have any spare tickets to the aquarium hanging around, do you?”

Goro blinked. “Is this the part where you tell me what the hell is going on, or....?”

“They built this place.” Ren sat back down beside Goro. “They control everything here completely. If they don’t want you to remember it, you won’t.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I think it’s like post-hypnotic suggestion? This whole thing is a dream, so they just make it so it’s a dream you don’t remember.”

None of that made a shred of sense, but the implication was clear; Goro was free to say whatever he wanted. Even without the influence of Loki, Goro wondered if it was a trick, a trap. “Why are you doing all this?”

Ren stared out into the middle distance. “I thought you’d figured it out a long time ago.” He picked up a clot of the weird soil and chucked it at the far wall, where it burst apart with a faint thud. “Aren’t you supposed to be a detective or something?”

Goro fell silent, not out of confusion, but because he was fairly certain he knew what Ren was talking about. He’d known for days; he just hoped it was otherwise. _It is a song that we resemble, of you, who loved me, and I loved you...._

For a moment, Goro allowed himself the freedom to consider it. To really imagine what it would be like to be with Ren, not as rivals, not just because he was on his heat, not just because he had ulterior motives, but simply because they enjoyed each other’s company. Before his eyes flashed a panoply of laughter and good-natured bickering and quiet moments, of kisses gentle and hungry. It made his sinuses tingle to think such a thing would ever be possible.

But it wasn’t possible, for the simple reason that it was all based on lies. The Goro Akechi that Ren knew was a pretty veneer plastered over a rotten core. Goro shook his head. “You wouldn’t feel that way if you knew the things I’ve done.” 

Ren turned to look at Goro for a moment, then went back to throwing clumps of dirt. “I know you’ve been lying to me from the start. I know you’re going to betray us.” He threw another lump, hard enough to leave a mark on the wall. “I know you only slept with me to snoop around. I knew all that, and I did it anyway.” Ren sighed in defeat, letting his eyes fall closed. 

Goro’s stomach clenched as a terrible suspicion dawned on him. “You didn’t really help Haru-chan with her heat, did you.”

After a weighty pause, Ren shook his head.

Exhaling through his lips, Goro wiped his face with his hand. He couldn’t bring himself to ask if Ren had ever given anyone else his knot, too afraid that the answer would be yes. What a terrible price to pay and get nothing in return. Or rather, almost nothing. “I don’t know how you found all that out, but you’re correct on all counts but one. ” 

“Please don’t try to make me feel better,” Ren said. “You won’t remember this, but I will.”

“I’m not. It’s the truth. This weekend, I _did_ want your bite. Or I would have, if I was allowed to... to want such things.” His eyes started stinging again. “But I’m not, so it doesn’t matter. Wanting things for myself... I don’t even remember what that’s like.” Goro drew his knees to his chest and hugged them. “And you’re not even scratching the surface of the terrible things I’ve done. You should cultivate better taste in omegas.”

Ren stopped playing with the dirt. Instead he stretched out to lay on his back, putting his hands behind his head. “No, I don’t think I’ll be doing that.”

“You really are a fool, then.”

“Yeah. I guess I am.” 

There was a long pause, the longest yet. Finally, Ren spoke. “You know who’s behind the shutdowns.”

Goro didn’t say anything. 

Ren sighed. “I know you’ll never tell me who it is. But at least tell me that the things I’ve done were worth it. Tell me it wasn’t a complete waste. Tell me you’ll put an end to it when I’m gone.”

Goro wasn’t good at reassurances. He tried to sound nonchalant. “What do you mean, when you’re gone? Who’ll make such excellent coffee when Sakura-san goes on break?”

“I’m not stupid. You really think whoever’s behind all this is gonna let me live?” Ren rolled to his side to face him. “If you won’t let me help you, at least tell me I’m not throwing my life away for nothing.”

“You don’t need me to tell you that,” Goro said quietly. “Or you wouldn’t have kept going this whole time.”

Ren stared at him helplessly. Finally he rolled back over. “I suppose you’re right.”

Goro picked up one of the clots of soil and tossed it. It was strangely satisfying. “For what it’s worth, now that I can say such things, I’m sorry. But I won’t be, as soon as we leave. Or at least, not in a way that matters. You’ve seen what happens when I fail to contain my emotions. Your goth doctor won’t always be a phone call away.”

“No, that... that helps.” Ren drew up one knee and crossed it with his other, as if he was lounging on a sunny day in the park and not in some strange twilight dreamscape. “I thought of faking my own death to protect the others. Hell, I’ve thought about just going ahead and making it official. Haven’t ruled that out yet. We’ll see.”

“You wouldn’t,” Goro gasped.

“Why shouldn’t I? At least if I do it myself, I know it’ll be quick and painless. But I would only do that if it meant the others would be safe. And killing myself won’t help in that respect.” Ren exhaled heavily. 

_Faking his own death...._ A tiny, tiny spark of an idea ignited in Goro’s mind. “Wait,” he said, squinting into the middle distance. “Wait, I think....” He leapt to his feet and began to pace. The spark began to glow brighter.

Ren watched him without getting up. “What’s the matter?”

Goro held up his hand, his mind whirling. It felt strange to think without Loki there. His mind was lighter, more agile. All this time, he thought Loki was the one guiding him to make deductions and plans, but in fact, he was holding Akechi back. “I think....” he whispered. He stopped in his tracks. “I think I know a way out of this.”

“There is no way out,” Ren said. “Even if you joined the Phantom Thieves for real, whoever’s behind all this would just take you down too.”

“No, no, you don’t understand,” Goro said, waving impatiently. He rushed over and knelt next to Ren, grabbing his arm. “What would happen if you were able to continue working behind the scenes after Sae-san’s palace?”

Ren shrugged. “We want to take down whoever’s behind the shutdowns, obviously. But we don’t have any leads.”

Akechi’s mind had already leapt ahead ten steps. “Yes... if you were to steal his heart....” His mouth twisted into a sardonic smile. “I’d love to see his breakdown splashed all over the media, broadcast on every screen in the country. Now that I know such things are possible, I would have planned it that way from the start. The only thing that would be better would be to do it myself. Though in a way, I _would_ be doing it myself.” He chuckled under his breath.

Ren rubbed the back of his neck. “Who are you talking about? Look, none of this matters, you won’t remember any of this.”

“Don’t you see? I don’t need to remember a thing, that’s the brilliant part! You said it yourself, these friends of yours are skilled in post-hypnotic suggestion, are they not? This plan I concoct will simply occur to me out there, once I’m triggered to remember. A location trigger will be the safest option, somewhere I know I’ll be in the next few days....” He resumed pacing, speaking half to himself. “It is my plan after all -- I’ll just be remembering it for the first time. I won’t have any idea that you already know the whole thing. Oh, this is brilliant.”

“But --” Ren huffed in frustration. “I don’t understand -- are we working together or not?”

“Neither. Both. It’s quid pro quo. You have something that I want -- the ability to dismiss personas. And I’m not the only one who wants it.” He tapped his head. 

“Okay?” Ren frowned. 

Goro waved him off. “Trust me. I’ll tell you exactly how to make me an offer once we’re out there.” Then he sat, clenched his eyes shut, and began rubbing his temples, trying to see all the game pieces moving and shifting on the board. “You know I’m planning to betray you, so you must have some sort of plan to counter it, yes? The others wouldn’t let you just accept your fate.”

Ren blinked in confusion. “We’re still working on it. Well, Makoto is.”

“Pfft, no offense, but I’m _much_ better at this than she is." Goro continued to massage his temples. "This is perfect. I massively underestimated how much you know. I’ll _think_ I have the advantage. You can use that against me. If I can get what I want from you, you’ll only have to ask me for something in return, something that I think won’t interfere with my own plans.”

Ren squinted at him suspiciously. “Like what?”

Goro opened his eyes as the final piece of the solution came to him. It was utterly brilliant. He grinned. “Like a gun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY SO  
> (I did tag canon divergence, right?) 
> 
> Here's the thing. IMO there's a massive logic gap in-game, in that Akechi's plan is really complex, and the PT's counterplan is even MORE complex. Literally the entire thing hinges on a 30-second encounter between Sae-san and Akechi passing in the hallway? _Come on._ How could the PT's have known that would happen? How did they know Akechi would be the one to relieve her interrogation duties (as opposed to the SIU Director), and that the timing would be so perfect?? It leaves WAY too much to chance.
> 
> Hence, my headcanon: it's Akechi all the way down. He made the plan AND the counter plan. He just doesn't remember. In this essay I will
> 
> (j/k there is no essay there is only this bizarre excuse for an ABO fic)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akechi delves into Ren's past and finds more than he expected. If only he could remember.... and also forget.

Akechi blinked his eyes open, peering up at the ceiling of the entrance to Mementos. Why was he on the ground? He sat up slowly, patting himself down to look for injuries. There were none to be found.

“You okay?” Ren sat a few feet away, leaning casually against the wall with one knee raised. 

“What happened?”

“I hit you with a new Forget spell. Guess I overdid it, sorry.”

Oh right, they were fighting. Goro squinted, trying to sift through his memories. “I guess so.” 

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

“You, being a colossal asshole.”

Ren snorted quietly. “Fair enough. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. When I saw you with Mifune-san, I figured you were mocking her. I know you don’t believe in fate. She gets that a lot, and she’s way too nice. I got over-protective. I went over the line.”

Akechi struggled to piece together the events of the evening. He remembered arriving in Mementos, then tackling Ren, and then... nothing. Clearly, they must have fought; Ren had a bandage on his temple. But it was his expression that captured Akechi’s attention. 

By that point, Akechi had seen Ren in all sorts of situations. But he’d never seen his rival looking so  _ haunted. _ His eyes were red as if he’d been weeping; he had the look of someone just leaving a funeral.

It was very off-putting, especially given how angry he seemed earlier. Akechi pushed aside his concern and rose to his feet. “What time is it?”

“Almost 10:00.”

“What??”

Ren stood, tilting his head side to side as he stretched. “Glad you came around. I was about to drag you out.” His voice was flat, as if he was exhausted. 

“No need. I’m tough.”

Ren’s lips twitched, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. “Alright then. See you around.” He turned and left, striding into the real world without looking back.

Akechi watched him go, baffled by his behavior. “Wait,” he said, scrambling to catch up to him.

Akechi left the Metaverse just in time to spy a glimpse of Ren’s back rounding the corner. He jogged after him, but when Akechi turned the corner, Ren was nowhere to be seen.

“What the hell?” Akechi murmured to himself. 

There was nothing for it. Akechi gave up the chase. Whatever had gotten into Ren was none of his business. Akechi should be more concerned about how he’d lost several hours. Forget spells usually only affected the ability to fight -- they didn’t cause general amnesia. Still, he felt fine, if a bit disoriented. 

As he boarded the train home, Akechi couldn’t help but feel something strange had happened. There was an odd disconnect between being ready to fight one minute, then waking up hours later to an apologetic and anguished opponent. 

And yet, Akechi was also reluctant to poke at the events of the evening any further. Every time he tried to think about what happened, he felt fatigued, scattered. Probably Ren was just out of sorts for having caused Akechi such a potentially dangerous injury. He had been a complete asshole, after all.

Once he got home, Akechi moved through his evening routine without really thinking about it. In fact he didn’t do much thinking at all, which was strange. The irony was that if he’d been thinking properly, he would have noticed. But instead he just felt vaguely relaxed. 

The sensation lasted even to the next morning, when he woke refreshed and ready to meet the day. During school he had a revelation regarding a better way to crack Ren’s code. Shido would be pleased, hopefully to the point where he could overlook the fact that Akechi hadn’t yet firmed up his plans to capture Ren. There was still plenty of time, but Shido wasn’t known for his patience. 

Akechi continued to ruminate on it as he made his way to Sae-san’s office after school for a briefing. The problem lay in how to capture Ren red-handed, so to speak. Theoretically Ren could be picked up by the police at any time; his whereabouts in the real world were well-known. But a low-key arrest wouldn’t provide enough of a splash to properly give Shido the boost he needed to clinch the election. Capturing Ren needed to be a spectacle, as dramatic as the crimes Akechi had framed him for. Ideally there would be some video evidence of Joker in action, otherwise the public would never believe such a mild and unassuming student could be capable of murder. What if....

“If you find my briefings to be that boring, Akechi-kun, perhaps your time would be better spent elsewhere.” Sae-san’s voice cut through his thoughts like a laser through cotton candy.

“My apologies,” he said at once, snapping his attention back to the conference table. “I was lost in a train of thought.”

Sae-san gave an unladylike grunt and continued, addressing the other members of her team. “These interrogation reports are atrocious,” she said, waving a sheaf of papers. “I cannot believe that none of you are capable of questioning high school students. Going through these, I can only rule out Shiho Suzui and Haru Okumura. If this was all I had to go by, literally every other student would be a suspect.” She dropped the stack of reports to the table. “You’d have me believing my own sister was a Phantom Thief, the way these are written.”

The detectives and investigators hung their heads, murmuring apologies. 

Akechi saw a potential danger in the situation. If the reports were thrown out, suspicion would naturally fall back on the students who attracted the most trouble; Ren Amamiya and Ryuji Sakamoto would be right at the top of that list. Akechi didn’t want to risk another round of interviews at the school. Ren had the ability to keep his mouth shut, but Sakamoto was a ticking time bomb, unable to evade even Makoto’s meager investigation. There was no way he’d get through another interrogation; it was a miracle he’d made it through the first one.

But if Akechi could convince Sae-san there was some worth to the reports.... “Being a high school student myself,” he said modestly, “I would hazard a guess that many of the rumors have more to do with petty rivalries than anything else. Perhaps the rumors should be cross-referenced. If Takashi-kun pointed a finger at Yosuke-kun, and vice-versa....”

“Then we could rule those rumors out.” Sae-san’s eyes narrowed as she considered it. “Make it happen,” she said decisively a moment later. “I expect the results on my desk tomorrow morning.” She got to her feet and began to gather her things.

The investigators gave each other looks of panic.

“Ah, if I might,” Akechi said, his tone oozing with diffidence, “there are several hundred students at Shujin. If they are anything like my classmates, most will have grievances with at least three or four others.” He let Sae-san do the math in her head, letting it go unsaid that there might be hundreds of thousands of permutations to sift through.

“Fine,” she sniffed. “You’ve got till the end of the day tomorrow. Get to work. Akechi-kun, stay behind a moment.”

The investigators gave Akechi relieved glances as they filed out. He hadn’t intended to do more than add delays, but having them on his side would surely be useful in the coming weeks.

“I’ll be blunt,” Sae-san sighed as the others left. “Your absence this weekend was noted. If your studies are too time-consuming for you to participate --” She raised an eyebrow.

The prospect of being taken off the case sent a sliver of anxiety through Akechi. It wouldn’t be an insurmountable obstacle, but why borrow trouble? “Ah.” He cleared his throat. “I’m afraid I was on my rut this weekend. I think we can both agree that doesn’t foster the best mindset for critical thinking.” Like all good lies, there was enough truth to make it convincing. Playing on Sae-san’s status as an alpha herself didn’t hurt, either. 

Sae-san rolled her eyes and clucked her tongue. “Ruts. Waste of energy. Word of advice -- as soon as you’re old enough, suppress them.” 

“I’ll take that under advisement.”

“You’re lucky you had such a good idea just now,” Sae-san said, pulling out her phone. It was about as close as she ever came to a compliment.

“I do my best,” Akechi said. “On a related note, I wonder if I might be granted access to the arrest record of Ren Amamiya.” 

Sae-san didn’t look up from her phone. “It’s sealed. Anyway, we’ve been down that road.”

_ “You’ve  _ been down that road.” Correcting Sae-san was risky in the extreme, but Akechi banked on the fact that she was desperate.

She sighed heavily, putting her phone away. “Fine. I’ll see what I can do but it’s very unlikely you’ll be granted access. Even if you are, I can guarantee you won’t be allowed to have a copy. Come to my office tomorrow after your classes are over. You can read it at my desk. No notes, no phone.”

“Of course,” Akechi nodded. “As you say, it’s a long shot. But perhaps something will leap out at me.”

“Perhaps.” It sounded like a dismissal. 

Akechi took the hint, tucking his head into a respectful bow as he left the room. In truth, he didn’t really need to review the record. Aside from satisfying his idle curiosity about whether Shido was involved, there was nothing Akechi needed to know about the incident. 

However, he knew that it would grate on Sae-san’s nerves when the SIU Director inevitably granted the request. Chipping away at her confidence was a crucial element to taking her down. 

Still, imagining the moment when Sae-san was taken off the case wasn’t as satisfying as it used to be. To be sure, Akechi still felt a sense of gratification, magnified by Loki, but.... It was strange. It almost felt as though he was forgetting something. 

Before he could think about it further, his phone rang. Not his smartphone, but the burner that he used solely to communicate with Shido. 

“Where are you?” Shido demanded.

“At the courthouse.”

“Find an empty room. We need to talk.” 

Akechi did as he was told. “Alright, I’m clear.”

“What’s the status of the plan?”

“I’m still working on it. There are a lot of factors to consider, not the least of which is how unpredictable the Phantom Thieves are. But this weekend I made excellent progress towards identifying members of their support team.”

“Don’t get bogged down with petty details,” Shido said. “Once we bring in the ringleader, he’ll be more than eager to spill his secrets by the time my men are done with him.”

At those words, Akechi felt a wave of nausea and a stab of pain in the back of his neck. Both sensations disappeared as soon as they registered. He inhaled sharply, rubbing his neck. Perhaps he simply needed to stretch and eat dinner. “Right,” he managed to say. “I’ll focus all my efforts on the plan.”

“Hurry it up. I want this all wrapped up and put to bed so I can concentrate on the election.”

“Of course,” Akechi said. But Shido had already hung up.

Akechi made his way outside. As usual for this time of year, a fog had rolled in. The streetlamps became tiny islands of light within the mist. Funny how much brighter it was in the Metaverse; Sae-san’s casino lit up the whole area, almost all the way to the police station.

Something snagged in Akechi’s mind, sharp enough that he halted in place. The police station. Why was that important?

Once again, he had the oddest sensation that he was forgetting something. Was it something about the station? He tracked backwards through his thoughts. Police station, casino, lights....

All at once, a thought began to coalesce. No, not a thought, a plan.  _ The  _ plan, the endgame. What better way to catch Ren red-handed than to actually capture him as he escaped Sae-san’s palace? 

Akechi could bring a squad of police officers into the Metaverse from the station. Aside from the garish neon lights, Sae-san’s palace looked exactly like the courthouse from the outside. If Akechi could cut those lights, the police wouldn’t have any idea that they were in the Metaverse, especially if it were a foggy night. Add in some video to capture the event and no one would ever think that the arrest hadn’t happened in the real world. 

Akechi burst out laughing as a swell of relief rolled through him at finally having identified a solution. It would take time to set up, and the margin of error would be slim, but it was feasible. It would work.

The beauty of the plan was that it minimized the chance that the Phantom Thieves could interfere. They’d be so focused on stealing Sae-san’s heart that they wouldn’t expect an attack from within the metaverse itself. Even if they did notice anything amiss, they would believe the police to be cognitions of Sae-san. 

In fact, the only thing Akechi would need to do would be to convince the team to delay the final mission, to give Akechi time to set everything up. But that would be easy; they already relied on his expert opinion regarding Sae-san. 

Loki flooded him with praise, sending a wave of contentment through him. Akechi basked in it. Truly, the plan was brilliant. There was still the issue of what would happen to Ren after he was captured, but that wasn’t Akechi’s problem. Shido would have someone take care of it, no doubt. 

Invigorated, he began to stride down the street. It was a good day. Perhaps he would treat himself to sushi on his way home. He certainly deserved it.

Akechi’s good mood lasted through the following day when he arrived back at the courthouse to review Ren’s arrest record. As he expected, the SIU Director had granted his request. There was never really a question; not only were they both working for Shido, Akechi had far too much information on his many crimes, and the Chief knew it.

Sae-san, however, was in the dark. She was practically beside herself, slapping the folder down on her desk. “Honestly, I cannot believe a high school student, even one as gifted as yourself, has been granted access to a sealed arrest record. These are meant to be sacrosanct.”

Akechi gave her a modest shrug and a bland smile. “Well, these are unprecedented times,” he said, taking a seat and pulling the folder towards him.

Sae-san drew a hand across her forehead. “I suppose,” she sighed. Then she checked her watch. “Ugh, I have to be in the courtroom in fifteen minutes. I trust you won’t do anything stupid like attempt to steal pages?”

Akechi laughed, legitimately delighted at how out-of-sorts she was. “Of course not. I left my phone and briefcase with the receptionist. As you said yesterday, this is likely to be a fruitless effort. However, I’d like to leave no stone unturned.”

Sae-san heaved a reluctant sigh. “Fine. You’ve got one hour.” She shook her head and left.

Akechi opened the folder. He could feel the thick, slick photo paper of Ren’s mug shot paperclipped to the back of the stack, but he turned his attention first to the text report. As he suspected, details were thin.  _ Witness stated that suspect attacked victim after verbal altercation.  _

Akechi noted the name of the witness -- female, as Ren had indicated. Though he intended to move on, his attention lingered on her age: 27. The same age as Akechi’s mother was when she took her own life.

His mind stalled, drawn to the number. Shido was more than twice the woman’s age. Akechi wondered if she was anything like his mother, naive and romantic, always believing love was right around the corner. Did Shido promise her the world? If she fell pregnant, would she, too, be stupid enough to carry it to term, hoping beyond hope that Shido would change his mind when faced with a bundle of joy?

Akechi hoped not. Better that Shido’s abuse caused her to be jaded and cynical; at least then she might not succumb to despair the way his mother had. 

Ren said she was terrified, that Shido was assaulting her right there in the street where anyone might see. He said, too, that she went with Shido after the police arrived. Like a lamb to slaughter. 

Akechi’s gut churned with fury thinking about it. Ren had said he felt sick, too. Akechi could only imagine Ren’s impotent rage, buried underneath his mild countenance. Without much thought Akechi pulled the photos to the front of the stack of papers.

It wasn’t like he’d never seen a mugshot before. But seeing the expression on the familiar face staring back at him was a shock. Akechi expected to see anger, resentment, frustration, steely resolve. He expected to see Joker, in other words.

But there was none of that. Ren looked terrified, confused, and above all else, soft and vulnerable. There was something hauntingly familiar about it.

Akechi’s breath caught in his throat. For the briefest instant, Akechi would have torn the world apart and put it back together again, if he could have prevented Ren such pain. 

But Akechi didn’t let the thought land, letting it float away. He forced himself to breathe. Of course Ren looked different in the photo. He wasn’t yet Joker, hadn’t come into his power, harnessed his pain. It was the expression of a teenager who just had the foundational truth of his existence -- that bad people doing bad deeds will be punished -- ripped out from under him. 

Akechi had learned that lesson far earlier. And there had been no one to commiserate, no one to bond with him over shared pain. Why should he spare any pity for Ren? So what if Shido ruined his life. That didn’t make Ren unique; just the opposite. 

Akechi told himself all of these things as he leafed through the remainder of the report. He thought the words clearly and deliberately, as if by so doing he could force them into place, squashing them down like ill-fitting puzzle pieces. 

After a few moments, he became restless. Shido’s name wasn’t in the report, but Akechi wasn’t expecting to see it. He didn’t  _ need  _ to see it; his father’s greasy fingerprints were all over the whole sordid affair. None of it mattered anyway; Akechi accomplished his goal of fostering Sae-san’s self-doubt merely by obtaining permission to look at the file. 

Abruptly he stacked the papers and shoved them back in the folder before he was tempted to look at the photo of Ren again. Why should he? Akechi knew what he looked like. 

But it wasn’t so simple. Akechi could still see the broken expression on Ren’s face every time he closed his eyes, a phantom image he couldn’t seem to escape. He left Sae-san’s office quickly, eager to get some space between himself and the arrest report, as if physical distance would make the memory fade faster. 

And yet, Akechi could still see Ren's expression in his mind when he laid down for bed that night. It was maddening. Lately it seemed he was always forgetting things, and now when he wanted to expunge something from his thoughts, he couldn’t. Perhaps he should pick another fight with Ren; maybe he’d use that forget spell again.

Inhaling sharply, Akechi’s eyes flew open. He sat bolt upright. When he saw the mugshot, it seemed familiar. He realized it was because Ren had traces of that haunted, vulnerable expression after they fought the other day. But why? What did it mean? What could possibly have happened in Mementos to upset him so much?

A wave of fatigue suddenly washed over Akechi. He gave a jaw-cracking yawn. Ugh, why was he worrying about it? It was late and he was exhausted. Truly, he was working too hard, but soon it would all be worth it. 

He stopped thinking about Ren and the Phantom Thieves, as if a switch had been shut off in his mind. When he settled back to his pillow, he fell asleep almost instantly. If Akechi dreamed of Mementos, of secret portals and bossy little girls in blue, of plans within plans, of tearful confessions and desperate, hopeless lust, he did not remember it in the morning.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who has two thumbs and doesn't really know how post-hypnotic suggestion works?
> 
> 👍 _this guy_ 👍


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything falls into place, and Akechi slowly begins to fall apart.

The following day, Akechi got a message from Ren inviting him to a Phantom Thieves strategy meeting above Leblanc. Predictable. No doubt he’d done all the hard work of convincing the others to give Akechi one more chance despite lying about his omega status.

**_The alpha’s infatuation has proved useful, as we anticipated. Well done._ **

Akechi acknowledged the thought as he got off the train in Yongen. Any lingering regret he might have felt for taking advantage of the situation suffocated under the weight of Loki’s praise. 

Even though Akechi was right on time, the others were already waiting for him. It was obvious by the empty drink bottles and jagariko cups littering the table that they had been there for quite a while. Akechi pretended that he didn’t notice. “Am I the last to arrive? I apologize for keeping everyone waiting.” 

Ren was on the far side of the room, leaning on his desk. Rather than choose the closest available seat, Akechi crossed the space to sit right next to Ren, subtly calling attention to their newfound bond. 

Ryuji sprang to his feet. “Cut the crap, Akechi. We know you been lyin’ about being an alpha.”

How typical that they sent the hothead out for the first swing. Rather than rise to meet him, Akechi moved his chair back a few inches, bringing him even closer to Ren’s protective presence. Incredibly, Ren actually rose to his full height, putting a hand on Akechi’s shoulder, looming over him to face Ryuji.

It was all Akechi could do not to laugh in delight. Clearly, Ren had gotten more than a little attached to him. As this was exactly what Loki wanted, Akechi could bask in the persona’s satisfaction, ignoring any slivers of warmth which wormed into his heart to feel the way Ren gripped his shoulder. 

Akechi selected an apologetic smile from among his arsenal and plastered it on. “Ah. Yes, I suppose I should explain about that.” He sighed. “It’s true, I’m afraid. It was on the advice of my agent. They told me it would increase my charisma for media appearances. I was young and naive--” He added a regretful shake of his head for emphasis. “I had no idea what I was getting into, but now I can’t stop. Too many people know me as an alpha.”

It was a masterful performance, but then again, Akechi was a liar without peer. And yet the others still regarded him with skepticism. 

“Your agent?” Ann narrowed her eyes. “I’ve never heard of agents getting involved in shady business like that.”

Akechi cleared his throat delicately. “Forgive me Takamaki-san, but I believe most female models are more marketable as betas or omegas?”

“Oh. Um. Yeah, I guess that’s true.” The anger on Ann’s face melted into confusion. 

The others looked at each other, seemingly unsure.

Akechi pounced on their uncertainty. “I do apologize most profusely for having deceived you. I honestly never thought it would become an issue. I certainly never intended --” Mid-sentence, his words stalled as he remembered something from the day his heat began. 

All this talking about being an omega reminded him that Ren had been waiting for him in Mementos. At the time, he thought Ren had happened to catch Akechi’s scent in the subway station and followed him. But, in retrospect, it seemed almost impossible for him to have gotten ahead of Akechi. Ren was a master of stealth, but he wasn’t invisible. And hadn’t Akechi smelled Ren before he saw him? But there had been no scent of alpha in the rest of Mementos.

All this pointed to a single conclusion. Ren must have been waiting for him to come to the rest area for long enough that his scent had abated. He must have known that not only was Akechi an omega, but that he planned to wait out his heat in Mementos. But Akechi had told no one of his plans. Nor had he written them down.

This all passed through his mind in the space of a heartbeat. In the next moment, a massive wave of lassitude passed through him, as if he couldn’t be bothered to worry about it. Akechi was being paranoid. Who knows why Ren skulked around? Maybe he was training on his own, or Akechi had missed his scent because he was rushing. 

At the same time, his neck began to ache, despite all the stretching he’d done that morning. He winced, tilting his head in discomfort.

“Never intended what?” Yusuke asked.

“You okay?” Ren murmured. He let go of Akechi’s shoulder, his hand sliding to rest at the nape of his neck. “It’s not your headache, is it?”

“Apologies,” Akechi said. “I must’ve slept wrong a few days ago; my neck has been giving me trouble. I meant to say that I never intended for this secret to come between us. It’s not as if it’s truly relevant, after all.” He gave a bland smile, as if Ren’s obvious concern wasn’t the textbook definition of relevance.

The others couldn't really argue with that, not without calling their leader on the carpet. Akechi took advantage of the awkwardness to shift the conversation to the strategy for Sae-san's palace. From there it was child's play to convince everyone to wait until the last possible minute to steal Sae-san’s heart. Akechi spun some nonsense about wanting her to be as on edge as possible, but in fact he merely needed the time to set up his own plan to capture Ren.

“Ugh, fine, whatever.” Ryuji stood up, wiping his nose on the back of his hand. “We done here?”

The others began to gather their things. Akechi decided to stay seated to further emphasize his connection with Ren. Being the last to leave might make the others wonder if something was still going on between them in private. It was merely to sow discord; it had nothing to do with the comforting weight and heat of Ren’s hand on his neck.

Finally, however, everyone had left but Morgana, who pointedly hopped onto Ren’s bed and began to groom himself. Akechi got the impression the cat wasn’t planning on leaving them alone. He did live there, after all.

“Well, I should be going,” Akechi said, rising to his feet. He suppressed a shiver at the way Ren’s hand lingered, swiping down his spine possessively. 

“Actually,” Ren said. He cleared his throat and looked sheepishly at Morgana. “Would you mind giving us some privacy? There’s something we need to discuss.”

Morgana froze, his tongue sticking out. “Are you kidding?”

“Please,” Ren said. “It’s important. It’ll only take a minute.”

Even though he was a cat, Morgana still managed to roll his eyes. “Fine,” he grumbled. “Kick me out into the cold, why don’t you.” He hopped to the window and let himself out.

Akechi did his best to appear calm. It was one thing to call attention to the fact that he and Ren had mated; Ren going out of his way to be alone with him was quite another. Perhaps he wanted to apologize again for hitting Akechi with the forget spell?

“I want to make a deal with you.”

Something about the way he said it sent Akechi’s hackles up. “A deal?”

Ren sat on the edge of the bed and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. He stared into the middle distance. “The other day, you seemed really interested when I said I can dismiss personas once I’m done with them.”

Akechi froze; even his heart seemed to stop beating for a fraction of a second. He still hadn’t figured out how to approach Ren about this. He needed to be very, very careful. 

But before he could come up with anything to say, Ren continued, “Here’s my offer. I won’t ask you about why you want to know. I did some poking around and I found some people who can give you answers. In return....” He swallowed hard, still without looking at Akechi.

“Yes?”

“I know we promised to disband the Phantom Thieves, and we will, but I don’t think that will be enough. Stealing Sae-san’s heart will only buy me a little time. We’re in too deep. _I’m_ in too deep.”

Under different circumstances, Akechi might have felt a surge of sympathy and compassion, or even sadness. And perhaps deep down, in some hidden corners of his heart, he did. If so, Akechi couldn’t feel it, too caught up in looking for clues that Ren knew anything about what was coming. “What makes you say that?”

Ren shot him a glance as if to say, _do I look stupid?_ “When they come for me --”

“The police, you mean?”

Ren nodded. “Makoto says they have some kind of special cells under the police station. Do you know where I mean?”

A terrible suspicion began to dawn on Akechi. Or was it deja vu? “Yes,” he said, his voice almost catching.

“When -- when it happens, I need you to find a way to visit me. I don’t care how. And when you do, I need you to bring me a gun.”

It was like a bad dream, one where Akechi knew what was going to happen but was powerless to stop it. “You can’t possibly think that will help you escape.”

“Who said anything about escape?”

A cold wave of dread washed over Akechi, as much from the sense of being trapped in the situation as from what Ren was implying. And yet his mind was already leaping forward, finding opportunities in Ren’s grisly request. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” 

Ren gave him a grim smile, but his eyes looked flat and fearful. “We both know I’m never going to make it to culinary school. I’m never leaving that station. At least this way....” 

“You can’t be serious.”

“Once I -- once I finish it, you have to swear to me that you’ll keep the police away from the others until Christmas.”

Although his emotions were paralyzed, Akechi’s mind gnawed at this new information like a starving dog with a fresh bone. Ren had inadvertently hit on the likely outcome of his capture; Shido would almost certainly want Ren taken out of the equation as quickly as possible. The police would claim suicide regardless of whether or not it was actually true, so it might as well be. And Shido would probably wait to bring the other Phantom Thieves in after the election anyway, maybe even after the New Year.

The sense of deja vu grew stronger, adding a dreamlike sheen to the experience. Akechi’s mind continued to fit together the pieces of the puzzle, regardless of any emotional response or lack thereof. If he offered to personally take Ren out as part of the plan, Shido would almost certainly agree. Akechi wouldn’t have to pull the trigger; he’d only have to fulfill his end of the bargain by bringing the gun to Ren. 

For months, Akechi had assumed that Shido would have Ren killed, but then again, it was never 100% certain. If Ren died, it would be Shido’s fault, not his. But this was something else entirely. 

Some part of Akechi knew he should be horrified at what Ren was asking. Perhaps he was, somewhere deep inside. Perhaps Akechi had finally trained his mind to avoid Loki’s punishments that he no longer had to hide his emotions from himself? It was difficult to tell. Nothing felt real at the moment.

Ren’s request fit into the plan he’d thought of a few days ago like a key in a lock. The only problem was actually getting access to a weapon. Shido wouldn’t be thrilled at that prospect, so there would need to be a go-between. Which meant Yakuza. Akechi hated dealing with them.

Ren took his silence as hesitation. “Don’t worry, I’ll provide the gun,” he said. “I don’t expect you to go that far. You’ll be taking a huge risk; I wouldn’t ask you to do more than that.”

“Oh.” It was the perfect solution. 

“So you’ll do it?”

There was no real question of whether he would or not. The deal was too good to pass up. Still, it wouldn’t be good to seem too eager. “What makes you think I’ll be able to pull this off? Smuggling a gun into the police station is a tall order.” 

“Because.” Ren stood and closed the distance between them. Without warning, he reached up to tuck a stray lock of Akechi’s hair behind his ear. The gesture was startling, but Akechi couldn’t bring himself to pull away. “Because you are the most brilliant person I know.” The longing in his voice made something deep in Akechi’s stomach tremble.

But only for an instant, as the window slammed open. “Are you two done fooling around yet? It’s starting to rain.” Morgana shook himself out, spattering them both with droplets of cold water.

And just like that, Ren pulled away again, turning his back to mess around with the tools on his desk. “I’ll be in touch.” 

It was a clear dismissal. “Fine,” Akechi croaked, trying to pull himself together. Ren acknowledged his response with the barest nod, already engrossed in whatever he was doing.

There was nothing to do but leave. Not that Akechi had any reason to stay, but being snubbed in such a manner was borderline rude. 

Akechi allowed himself to take offense at Ren’s bad manners, neatly obscuring any confusion and disappointment which might have lingered otherwise. He had no time for such things in any case.

There was only one thing left to do. Akechi hadn’t yet contacted Shido; he wanted to be sure the Phantom Thieves would agree to pushing back the date of the theft of Sae-san’s heart. But now everything was in place, moreso with this new deal he’d forged with Ren. It really was perfection itself.

Back in the quiet of his own room, Akechi took a deep breath and dialed Shido’s number on his burner phone. As usual, it went straight to voicemail. He hung up without leaving a message and then waited.

It was about three minutes before the phone rang. Before Akechi could even say hello, Shido spoke. “This better be good, I’m right in the middle of something.”

Akechi bit back a surge of annoyance. The whole point of their arrangement for communication was that Shido could contact him at his own convenience. There was no reason to be so condescending and rude; whatever Shido was doing, it was his choice to interrupt it to call Akechi back.

“I thought you might like to know I’ve worked out the plan. All of it, disposal included.”

There was a slight pause. “Get out,” Shido said to whoever was in the room with him, his voice faintly muffled. Akechi heard the sound of a door closing a moment later. “Go on,” Shido said, his voice now silky smooth.

Akechi outlined the details of Ren’s capture. He’d been working on it for a few days, so he was able to answer all of Shido’s questions and potential objections with no hesitation.

“You’ve outdone yourself,” Shido said. It was as close to a compliment as he ever got. “And what of the disposal?”

“I’ll take care of it myself. Sae-san will surely insist on a personal interrogation, wouldn’t you say? I’ll make sure to visit the inmate --” Akechi blinked as his mind suddenly froze. _Inmate._ The word resonated strangely. Why had he said that?

“What’s the matter?”

“Thought I saw someone’s outside my door,” Akechi lied. “I’ll make sure to visit the suspect myself immediately after, only to discover that he has somehow found himself in possession of a weapon. Unfortunately, he’ll take his own life,” Akechi said. “And you needn’t worry yourself about the equipment I’ll need. I know you hate to get your hands dirty with the details. I’ll get the gun directly from _him,_ so if it is traced, it’ll be a closed loop.”

“Perfect. Such a tragic end,” Shido said, his smirk audible even over the phone. “We’ll probably be able to frame Sae-san for that, as well. After all, there’s no way the police would allow him to hide a weapon. I’m sure they’ll search him _most_ carefully.”

Akechi’s gut twisted, bile rising in the back of his throat at the thought of the sadists Shido employed giving Ren a body-cavity search. “My thoughts exactly,” he managed to say. 

Shido continued to ramble on as he always did, waxing philosophical about his ambition and power and career. 

Akechi barely heard it. As soon as Shido hung up Akechi lunged to the bathroom, retching violently for several minutes. Eventually there was nothing left, leaving him shaking and drenched with cold sweat.

In a surprise turn of events, Loki was almost sympathetic. **_You are above him. His vanity and cruelty will be his undoing. You will rip away everything he has built in the name of his own twisted desires and in so doing we will have our vengeance._ **

Akechi was too drained to find it ironic that Loki disapproved of Shido's cruelty, considering how often his persona reveled in it himself. Instead he hauled himself to his feet and fetched himself a glass of water, not trusting himself to think about it. 

He sat at the table and pulled out his textbooks. Despite everything, Akechi still had to go through the motions of being a student, and exams were coming up. It was probably for the best; schoolwork was one of the only tethers which still tied Akechi to reality. Or at least, the reality most of his peers enjoyed. 

For the briefest instant, Akechi wondered if Ren still bothered to study, given that in just a few weeks, he would --

Another wave of nausea rose in Akechi’s gut. Quickly, he concentrated on the calculus equations in front of him. It didn’t matter what Ren did or did not do. After all, the deal was made, the plan already in motion. Loki was right. Soon it would all be over. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting a day early this week! And as you can see, I've updated the fic to show how many chapters there will ultimately be. I can't promise that I won't end up adding some, but at the least, there will be no fewer than 17 chapters (which is about par for the course for me.)
> 
> Thank you to everyone who's stuck with this so far! I hope you stay around for the rest! (And of course, an extra EXTRA thank you to everyone who has commented!)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akechi's new deal with Ren is more complicated than it seems. Or is it?

In furtherance of their new deal, Ren texted an address to Akechi a day or two later. It brought him to a storefront huddled in a dead-end alley in Shibuya. Ren loitered outside, thumbing through his phone. He nodded at Akechi and opened the door to the airsoft shop without a word.

The man behind the counter did a double-take when he saw Akechi. His disaffected expression solidified into a scowl directed at Ren. “You fucking kiddin’ me? _This_ guy?”

Ren nodded, solemn and silent.

They stared at each other for a moment. It was obvious Ren hadn’t told him who would be picking up the gun, and it was doubly obvious the shop owner didn’t want to have anything to do with Akechi. Finally the man huffed and rose to his feet, slamming his magazine to the counter. “Fine.” He strode into the back of the store.

Ren sighed, hanging his head. He locked the door to the shop, turning the sign to ‘closed’. “Come on,” he said, his voice heavy with... what, regret? 

Akechi didn’t know. He pretended he didn’t care, either, following Ren behind the counter into the back. 

It was a veritable maze of stacked boxes. Terrible for managing stock, but excellent for delaying investigators for a few precious moments if the need arose. After winding their way through the labyrinth, they met the proprietor in a makeshift workshop tucked into the very back. Akechi no longer wondered where Ren had acquired his high-end model guns. Amid the detritus of model-making materials was a shiny aluminum case, propped open to reveal a pistol with a silencer. A real one, not a model. 

“Can’t believe you, kid. If I’d known who you were giving this to, I never would’ve agreed.” The man pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I trust him,” Ren said. “We made a deal.” There was no apology in his voice, no hesitation. 

Akechi did his best not to let his own apprehension show. Not that he would dream of backing out, but now that the plan was in motion, the reality of what was to come was harder to deal with than he anticipated. 

The man shook his head. Akechi caught a glimpse of a tattoo on his neck. Ex-yakuza, then. That certainly explained a few things. Yet another of Ren’s supporters who would fall to Shido. At least in this case, a crime was truly being committed. 

“You know how to handle one of these, pretty boy?” The man chomped the stick to his lollipop as he addressed Akechi.

“Actually, I don’t.” It wasn’t exactly a lie; in the metaverse, Akechi used a toy gun. He’d never handled a live firearm.

“I fixed it with a trigger lock for transport,” the man said. “Not sure where you’re going with it, but you’ll want to take it off before you go through any metal detectors.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem,” Akechi said. He could walk through the metal detector with a bazooka on his hip if Shido allowed it.

Eyes narrowing in disapproval, the man demonstrated how to remove the trigger lock, disengage the safety, remove the silencer. Then he put it back together, locked it into the case, and watched Akechi lock that into his briefcase. “Not that you’ll need to know any of this stuff, right? You’re just passing it off to this guy?” He nodded at Ren with his chin.

“That’s the plan,” Akechi nodded.

“Well be careful, for fuck’s sake. It’s loaded, but there’s only one bullet. Don’t fuck this up. You only get one shot.” He glanced at Ren.

“One shot’s all I’ll need.”

The sun had gone down completely when they got outside. Akechi tightened his grip on his briefcase, trying to get used to the extra weight. “And now I believe it’s your turn to fulfill your end of the bargain?”

Ren nodded. “We need to go to Mementos to meet some friends of mine.” 

“Fine.”

They didn’t speak as they made their way to the station. Akechi wasn’t the kind of person to hate silence, but he hated this. The quiet between them felt itchy, almost claustrophobic. 

As always, Mementos was quiet and dim and cool, a respite from the bustle of the station. But something was different. In the corner of the lobby area were two young girls in royal blue uniforms, each wearing an eyepatch. 

Deja vu washed over Akechi. “These are your friends?”

Ren nodded as they walked over. “Akechi-san, meet Justine and Caroline. They know more about personas than anyone, even Mona.”

The little girls stared up at them. Despite their diminutive appearance, they weren’t as young as Akechi originally thought. He couldn’t shake the feeling he had met them before. 

**_Be mindful of these creatures. They are not human._ **

Akechi didn’t let his apprehension show. “Pleased to make your acquaintance,” he said, bowing formally. 

The girls exchanged a look. “Are you sure you know what you’re doing, Inmate?” Justine said to Ren, her voice cool and dispassionate.

_Inmate...?_

“I believe in him,” Ren said cryptically. “Let’s get this over with.”

“The Inmate told us you have a desire to dismiss a persona,” Justine said to Akechi.

Straight to it then. “Yes.”

Caroline huffed and stomped her foot. “Fine.” She whipped her baton through the air. A glowing blue portal appeared, the door open wide. “After you,” she said, bowing sardonically.

Akechi narrowed his eyes. “Where does it lead?”

“Don’t worry, it’s perfectly safe,” Ren said. “It’s the sparring ring the Phantom Thieves use to train.”

Akechi knew he should be wary of the mysterious doorway, but somehow it seemed familiar. “Alright. It is part of our deal, after all.” He followed Ren back through the doorway.

Inside was some sort of empty fighting ring, surrounded by glowing blue bars, like jail cells. The sense of familiarity was overwhelming. 

“Alright, bring out your persona,” Caroline commanded, whipping her baton for emphasis. “We don’t have all day, you know.” 

Akechi raised an eyebrow. “I thought you would teach me how to do it myself.”

“That is our intent,” Justine confirmed. “However, we must assess the persona first.”

Hesitating, Akechi realized his only option was to call Robin Hood; he couldn’t risk revealing Loki.

“Fine.” Akechi tore off his mask, calling on Robin Hood.

It was still a strange experience in many ways. Akechi almost never called on this persona before he began working with the Phantom Thieves. Loki was far more powerful, and the trickster god did not appreciate being shunted into the background while Robin Hood was made manifest.

Secretly, Akechi revelled in the freedom he felt when Robin was with him. For all his dark power, Loki colored his vision and crowded his lungs, but with Robin Hood, Akechi could breathe easier, see more clearly. Best of all, Loki wasn’t party to Akechi’s thoughts while Robin Hood was around.

The girls exchanged another loaded glance. _“This_ is the one you want to get rid of, huh?” Caroline scoffed. “You sure about that?”

Akechi’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

Justine scrunched her nose. “You may not be aware of it, but we can easily sense the other one inside you. We’re well acquainted with him. He feeds on the darkness within you, but he also makes it grow.”

_“And_ he stinks,” Caroline said, pinching her nose. “He’s practically eaten you all up. It’s a good thing you had this one protecting you,” she said, pointing again at Robin Hood, “or there would be nothing left.”

“What are you talking about? There is no other one,” Akechi insisted, glancing at Ren nervously.

Caroline snorted. “Lemme guess -- you ‘defeated’ him in battle, right? Then he wanted to make a deal? Typical.” She made finger quotes, rolling her eyes. “He’s a master of flattery. That’s how he gets his fangs in good and deep.”

“Apologies, but I truly have no idea what you’re talking about,” Akechi said.

But it was a lie. He knew exactly what they were talking about. It had happened very much as they described, two years ago. Loki surrendered to him in battle on his second trip to the metaverse, praising his skill and cunning. They were one and the same, Loki said, and therefore a partnership would be beneficial. He offered power, and Akechi, still exultant from his victory, was all too eager to accept: _I am thou, thou art I._

In retrospect, Loki had, indeed, fallen far too easily. Although Loki was weak to Robin Hood’s magic, back then Akechi could barely hold a sword properly. But Akechi took it as a sign that he was chosen, that Loki would offer a deal to him based solely on his potential. 

Later, Akechi realized, in his fractured, hidden way, that it was not his cunning or courage that had drawn Loki to him, but something far more sinister. The twins had seen it straightaway: there was a darkness within him. His heart was twisted and rotten. Loki had taught him to hone that darkness into a weapon. Some long-hidden part of Akechi hated feeding the monster within him, hated the way Loki urged him to new depths, but once he’d made the deal, it quickly proved impossible to undo. 

But this... this was something else entirely. It had never occurred to Akechi that Loki was a parasite. If that were true, then Akechi would be nothing but a host, a shell. Which meant that all of the atrocities Akechi had committed in the metaverse were nothing but fodder for the shadow he had willingly let into his heart.

The thought made him sick. 

“Is that so?” Justine said. “It would seem to me that you know exactly what we mean.”

This conversation was getting him nowhere. Rather than succumb to the misgivings that began to seep into his veins, Akechi went on the offensive. He lunged forward, drawing his laser sword and slashing the air between them. “Stop talking about me as if I’m _weak._ I’m not the victim here,” he said through gritted teeth. “Tell me how to be rid of a persona.”

“Ah, I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Ren said calmly. “Unless you want to get your ass kicked into next week.”

Akechi glared at him; it was insulting to imply these two little girls posed a threat, human or no.

But it had to be said, Justine and Caroline looked supremely unimpressed by his violent display. “No one said you were weak,” Justine said, pushing aside the glowing sword with two fingers. The crackling energy skittering along the blade dimmed to nothing at her touch; apparently she was immune to its effect. “But neither are you in control.”

Something shifted and settled into place within Akechi’s mind. “What?”

“Personas such as the one inside you exist outside of human hearts. They have their own agenda. We have guided the Inmate all along, teaching him how to control his power and limiting his access to personas in accordance with his ability,” Justine said. “You must have noticed that he can negotiate with them? That means they have free will, as does the other one inside you. The most powerful can choose their own hosts.”

“You’re trying to confuse me,” Akechi mumbled. This was exactly what he _didn’t_ want to hear.

Caroline huffed, sticking a hand on her hip. “Are we? I bet what we said sounds real familiar, huh. Face it, he’s been using you this whole time. Frankly, I’m impressed you lasted this long. You’re stronger than you look.”

Akechi scowled, shaking his head to clear it. “Enough of this. Tell me what I need to know or the deal is off.”

Justine spoke first, implacable as always. “You have shared your heart with your personas for many years; whatever their origins, they are a part of you now. You will not be able to dismiss them easily. However, it can be done.”

“You gotta call ‘im out and then kill ‘im, clean dead in one blow,” Caroline said, drawing a finger across her neck like a knife.

_“What??”_ Akechi stared at them in dismay, his shoulders slumping. His wild hope of being free was slipping from his grasp. Attack Loki? The instant the thought crossed his mind, Loki would debilitate him, or worse. 

The sword fell from Akechi’s hand. Behind him, Robin Hood flickered; Akechi’s will was slipping. “It’s hopeless,” he whispered. “I’ll never be able to do it. I’m not strong enough.”

Caroline whapped him in the thigh with her baton. “Concentrate!” she yelled. 

Robin Hood solidified as the sting in his leg momentarily grounded Akechi. But it didn’t matter; he was just delaying the inevitable. “There’s no way,” he whispered. “I wouldn’t be able to even draw my weapon.”

Gnawing his lip, Ren looked at the twins. “Does it have to be him pulling the trigger? Can someone else do it?”

The girls looked at each other. “What do you think, Caroline?”

“Dunno... It _should_ work. But it might kill him.” Caroline scratched her hair with her baton.

“That is a risk in either case,” Justine noted. “Your personas have been with you a long time,” she said to Akechi. “Even if you kill one yourself, your chances of survival are slim.”

Akechi started to laugh. He couldn’t help himself, even though he knew he sounded unhinged. Maybe he was; maybe this was the final straw that broke his back. “Do you think that matters to me in the slightest?”

Ren looked at the twins. “Give us a minute, please?” 

The girls didn’t seem thrilled, but they withdrew through the blue portal, leaving Akechi alone with Ren. 

“Do you want me to do it?” Ren asked quietly. 

Akechi’s laughter died away as suddenly as it began. “You can’t,” he said, his voice strained. “You think you’re strong enough to take him down? There’s no way.” It was the only safe thing to say; technically, he could have been talking about Robin Hood.

“But if I could,” Ren said. “If the perfect opportunity arose, what then?”

Gritting his teeth, Akechi turned away and began to pace. “Why are you doing this? Just to taunt me? I’m telling you, it’s impossible.” Akechi could never reveal Loki to Ren, not without jeopardizing everything. And even if he could, Loki was far too powerful for the Phantom Thieves, much less Ren alone. Even though Robin Hood was hovering over him, Akechi could almost taste Loki's bloodlust in the back of his throat. The idea of standing over Ren’s body after the Black Mask was done tearing him apart made Akechi want to vomit.

Ren sighed. “Goro, what if I told you....” He closed his eyes, as if he couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence.

“Save it,” Akechi snarled, continuing to pace. “There’s nothing you can tell me that will change anything.”

Eyes still closed, Ren winced. “What if I told you that you won’t remember this conversation?” He opened his eyes; they looked stricken. “Would that change your answer?”

Akechi stopped short. “What do you mean, I won’t remember?”

“Just... just answer the question,” Ren sighed. “Please.”

Akechi’s irritation began to ebb away as he stopped to consider it. If he didn’t remember the conversation, then he wouldn’t need to worry about Loki punishing him later. What _wouldn’t_ he give for even a few moments of freedom? He started to tremble, somewhere deep inside his core. 

He closed the distance to Ren in three steps. Grabbing his arm, he said, “Do you mean it? Do you promise? I won’t remember anything?” 

Ren swallowed. “I promise, Goro,” he murmured. It sounded as though his voice was about to break. 

Goro swayed where he stood, his fingers clutching Ren’s sleeve. “Then I would say yes,” he said. “I’d do anything. I’d beg on my knees if you wanted me to. But I’m telling you, it’s literally impossible for you to defeat him. You’d die trying.”

“Not if you tell me how to take him down,” Ren pointed out.

Akechi’s eyes widened. Of course. Who else would know Loki’s weaknesses? “That's brilliant,” he whispered. "You're a genius."

“No. You are.” 

* * *

Akechi blinked. He was standing in the entrance to Mementos. Ren was a few paces ahead, looking over his shoulder in concern.

“You okay? You’re not getting those headaches again, are you?”

“What? No, no, I --” Akechi shook his head. “Sorry, my mind must have wandered.”

In the corner of the lobby area were two young girls in royal blue uniforms, each with an eyepatch. 

Deja vu washed over Akechi. “These are the friends you spoke of?”

Ren nodded. “Akechi-san, meet Justine and Caroline.”

The little girls stared up at them. They weren’t as young as Akechi originally thought. He couldn’t shake the feeling he had met them before. 

**_Be mindful of these creatures. They are not human._ **

Akechi frowned slightly. “Pleased to -- to meet you,” he said. 

“I’ll let you have some privacy,” Ren said, retreating to the far corners of the lobby.

The girls glanced at each other. Once Ren was out of earshot, Justine said, “You come in search of a way to rid yourself of your persona. We will tell you how.”

“Not gonna be easy,” Caroline added. “The longer you’ve spent with your persona, the more you become a part of each other. That guy can get rid of ‘em easy because he only keeps them a little while,” she said, gesturing at Ren. “But for your _true_ persona, you gotta bring out the big guns.”

“To remove a persona permanently, you must kill them in one blow.” Justine said formally. It sounded like she was reading lines in a play. Or was that just Akechi’s sense of deja vu? “However, the risk is very great. You will be killing a part of yourself. It is very likely you would not survive.”

This wasn’t what Akechi expected to hear. Loki stirred restlessly within him. **_The risk is too great. We must suffer the presence of your weakling Robin Hood a while longer, else our plans for vengeance may go awry._ **

Silently, Akechi agreed. It _was_ disappointing. And yet, it wasn’t that bad, was it? After all, he still needed Robin Hood so that he could capture Sae-san’s heart with the Phantom Thieves. After that, there would be no need to call his weaker persona any more. Loki might grumble a bit at having to share space in Akechi’s mind, but the risk of dismissing Robin Hood was too great.

In fact, Akechi couldn’t quite remember why he’d been so worked up about this in the first place. Trying to think about it only made him tired, as if his mind refused to focus. It felt like trying to press the positive poles of two magnets together; no matter how hard he tried, his thoughts slid this way and that, never reaching their true goal. 

Dimly, he recalled being quite desperate for answers while he was at Leblanc with Ren, but maybe he was just overly emotional because of his heat? That must be it. As soon as he stopped trying to think about it, he felt calm and relaxed. Actually, he felt really good.

Because, in the end it didn’t matter, did it? This was all just an excuse to make a deal with Ren anyway. Akechi’s true goal was to enable Ren to take his own life; he had only _pretended_ to want this information to make it seem as though he was getting something out of it. 

Something about that seemed off, backwards, but he could worry about it later. For now, Akechi smiled at the girls. “I thank you for your assistance,” he said, giving them a polite bow. “You have been most helpful.”

The twins glanced at each other, then returned his bow. A moment later they winked out of sight.

Ren sauntered back up. “Did they give you what you need?”

“Oh yes,” Akechi nodded. “Exactly what I was looking for. And now I believe our deal is concluded. Though I do sincerely hope you will never need this particular delivery,” he lied, holding up the briefcase.

Ren gave him a funny look. “Never hurts to take out a little insurance though.”

“Indeed,” Akechi said. "I couldn't have said it better myself. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Akechi's memory, but then again, it was his idea to begin with.
> 
> ETA: I don't know if I need to point this out, but this particular origin story for Loki and Akechi is just my headcanon. It's based partially on the fact that Loki is a known persona in the larger in-game universe (as are Thor and Odin), while Robin Hood is specific to Akechi (the same way Arsene is specific to Ren), and partially on the fact that this is just how I want it for this fic. 😎 I did not go digging for in-game canon evidence that Robin Hood was Akechi's first persona, but if anyone knows one way or the other, let me know in the comments!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker has a bad idea. Goro goes along with it anyway.

Time continued to move at a rate of one second per second. Akechi was certain of this. He even took to watching the hand on his watch, just to be sure. 

Despite this, the deadline to steal Sae-san’s heart seemed to approach at the speed of light, each day flashing by in a heartbeat until there was only a week left.

And yet, the faster the time seemed to pass, the more Akechi dreaded each moment. It began the day after he picked up the gun with Ren. The hidden weapon was a constant reminder of what was to come. 

When he made the deal with Ren, Akechi could think only about how well it fit into his plans. Truly, it was so perfect that it was almost too good to be true. If Ren planned to take his own life, Akechi’s hands would remain clean. 

But as time went on, Akechi found he was increasingly focused on the former point rather than the latter. He had always known, in abstract terms, that Ren would die, but now that there was an actual date associated with it, Akechi struggled to make peace with the concept.

The creeping dread was inescapable, affecting him physically and mentally. It didn’t matter how often Loki praised his cunning or skill, reminding him that the hour of their victory was at hand, flooding Akechi with dopamine. The chemicals only barely took the edge off the cold lump in his stomach or the ache in his neck. 

It took all of his energy to avoid thinking about it. Some part of Akechi knew that if he went down that road, he might begin to regret his plans and the whole thing would unravel. But the harder he tried to avoid those thoughts, those secret desires, the larger they became. 

The worst times by far were the evenings he spent with the Phantom Thieves, securing a route to Sae-san’s treasure.

Ren barely interacted with Akechi at all. Granted, he wasn’t rude or condescending -- at least that would have been  _ something. _ But Ren hardly even  _ looked  _ at Akechi unless it was absolutely necessary. 

It should have helped. But all it did was call Akechi’s attention to what was missing: the consideration -- the  _ affection --  _ which Ren usually showed him. Not just drawing Akechi into the circle of warmth and friendship of the Phantom Thieves, but the private moments they enjoyed, the special glances, the inside jokes, the casual physicality of a hand on his shoulder. From there, it was all too easy to acknowledge that soon, Akechi would never enjoy those things again.

“Crow, are you okay?” A hand touched his upper arm.

Akechi flinched violently, stumbling back to see Makoto peering at him in concern. 

They were almost to the end of Sae-san’s palace. The shadows were more powerful here, but thanks to all of the training Joker put them through, they were managing the battles with ease. 

Mostly. Akechi’s distraction was getting the better of him. He should have dodged that last hit, but he was too busy looking at Ren. He cradled his arm protectively. “Sorry. I think I pulled my shoulder."

From somewhere behind them, Joker said, “Mona, take care of Crow.”

“Sure thing.” 

A wash of healing energy passed through Akechi. “Much thanks,” he murmured. But the group was already moving on to the next target.

They reached a safe room. “How much farther?” Futaba groaned, sprawling facedown on the nearest couch.

“If we push, we can make it tonight,” Makoto said, studying the map.

“How does everyone feel?” Ren asked, pulling a thermos of coffee from a hidden pocket in his overcoat.

A chorus of groans and reassurances followed. Akechi stayed silent, not only because he was slightly ashamed of his own fatigue, but because if they pushed the rest of the way through, that would mean the next time they came to the casino would be their last.

_ The next time I see Ren after that will be in the police station. And then I’ll never see him again. _

“Crow?”

Akechi looked up. “Huh?”

“Are you good to continue?” Ren looked at him calmly. It was the first thing he’d said to Akechi all day.

“Oh. Yes.” 

Ren held his gaze for a moment, his expression unreadable. Then he poured some coffee from the thermos and handed it to Akechi. “I need you to cover the rear for us.”

Suddenly Akechi realized the tension in the room had ratcheted higher; everyone found something absolutely fascinating in the room to look at -- ceiling, floor, light fixture, potted plant. Anywhere but at Akechi. Everyone knew Ren only asked people to hang back when he thought they couldn’t handle themselves.

A few weeks ago, Akechi would have been offended. And maybe he was, a little. Mostly he felt resigned. “Understood.”

“Man, how about that huge slot machine though, huh?” Ryuji said, his voice too loud. “Way to go on that, Futaba.”

The others chimed in, eager to break the tension. 

Akechi sipped his coffee while the others bantered. Immediately, he made a face.

“Something wrong?” Ren asked quietly. 

“Oh, um. You didn’t brew this, did you?” 

“You can tell, huh?” For the first time in days, Ren smiled sheepishly at him. 

It felt like the sun coming up. Akechi grinned back. “It’s  _ distinctly  _ inferior. Of course I can tell.” 

Ren just laughed and shook his head, still smiling.

_ This might be the last time I see him smile. _

Akechi blinked, his grin freezing on his face. Ren’s smile dimmed too, as if he could guess what Akechi was thinking. Wordlessly, he held out his hand to take Akechi’s now-empty cup.

Their fingertips brushed; it was excruciating. Akechi did his best not to react. At least now he could guess why Ren was ignoring him: Akechi knew what he planned to do. He was a constant reminder that Ren’s time was running out.

Of course, only Akechi knew that zero hour was coming much quicker than Ren probably anticipated. Ren was correct to put distance between them. Akechi resolved to do the same. This was no time to become sentimental or get cold feet just because the final act was almost upon them.

With that in mind, Akechi steeled himself for the remainder of that night’s mission. And just like that, the route to Sae-san’s treasure was set. 

As they worked their way back to the entrance, the others bantered among themselves about their plans for the rest of the evening. Food, baths, and video games seemed to top out the list. Akechi only half paid attention; it was really none of his concern.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. Their phones didn’t receive signals in the metaverse, which meant someone was texting him from within the group. Confused, he pulled it out. 

It was a message from Ren.  _ Meet me in the first safe room after everyone leaves.  _

Akechi’s eyes widened. Although he knew that the most logical explanation was that Ren wanted to speak of their deal, a thrill of anticipation shot through him anyway. He glanced at Ren, who casually happened to look at him at the same time. He nodded.

Back in the real world, Akechi went through the motions of saying goodbye to the others, making up an excuse on the spot as to why he wasn’t following them to the train station. Ren went with the others. That was a bit strange, but then again, it would have been obvious if they both hung back. 

No matter. As soon as the group was out of view Akechi slipped back to Sae-san’s palace. Keeping to the dark corners and staying well hidden, he made his way to the first safe room.

Joker was already inside, lounging at the table. 

“No, seriously, how did you get here before me?” Akechi demanded, closing the door behind them.

“Allow a thief his secrets, won’t you?” Ren pulled out a chair in an unspoken invitation.

“What did you want to discuss?” Akechi asked politely.

Ren toyed with his gloves. “Did you find a way to gain access to the police station?”

“Oh. Um, yes.” For some reason, it hadn’t occurred to him that Ren would be interested. "No problem."

"Just gonna waltz right in, huh?"

"Allow an Ace Detective his secrets, won't you?"

Ren rolled his eyes, trying not to grin. For a moment, it could’ve been any of the other nights they had spent together in the last few months: trading barbs, trying to make the other laugh without appearing to try at all. 

But it was not any of those other nights. “You could have texted me to ask that,” Goro said quietly, drawing circles on the tabletop with a gloved fingertip.

“Yeah. Yeah, I could have.”

They looked at each other, the air electric in their lungs, the blood tingling in their veins. Goro could smell Ren's musk, faint through the lingering traces of his alpha- blockers. At this time of night the medication had largely worn off, rendering it nearly ineffective. 

The safest course of action would be to leave. Goro knew that. No doubt Ren did as well. But for all that Akechi tried to be strong, at the moment he was weak. Apparently, so was Ren, because the only move either of them made was to lean closer to each other, slowly, slowly, until they could feel each other’s breath on their cheeks, their lips.

“This is a bad idea,” Goro whispered.

“Not all my ideas are good ones.”

It wasn’t like when Goro was in heat. Which is not to say that Goro didn’t feel choked by his own need, or that he didn’t ache at the sensation of Ren’s lips sliding across his own.

But his desperation was no longer animalistic, a thing of raging hormones, but borne of the knowledge that his time with Ren was coming to an end. And the ache in his chest? Oh, how he  _ burned  _ with it. 

They kissed, both of them breathing hard, making the tiny broken noises that people make when they know they will never kiss again. It should have stopped there, but Goro knew it would not. 

Fumbling, they both rose to their feet, shedding their shirts as they stumbled towards the couch in the corner of the room. Goro half-fell, half-pulled Ren down on top of him. They began to rut against each other, at the moment too eager to remove their pants. 

“This is a mistake,” Goro whispered, mouthing along Ren’s jawline.

“Do you want to stop?” Ren nuzzled against his ear.

“Ngh-no.” 

“Good.” Ren slid a hand between them, yanking at the fastening to Goro’s pants. A second later he was curling his hand around Goro, moaning as if he was the one being stroked.

Goro almost choked on his own breath. “What are you --”

“Shh, just let me. Please.”

_ Please.  _ Goro had never known an alpha to use that word as often as Ren did. Then again, he’d never known an alpha to pretend he was a beta, either.

And after Ren was dead, he would probably never meet another.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Ren stopped what he was doing to brush his thumb on Goro's cheek. 

Goro didn’t trust himself to say anything. He shouldn’t be upset. He shouldn’t be affected by Ren at all. They were enemies. Foes. Rivals. 

So why was he about to cry?

“Goro. It’s alright. Shh, it’s okay.” Ren held him close, cradling the back of his head.

It felt amazing, incredible. Familiar. 

Goro was so close to confessing everything, revealing all of his plans. Only the threat of punishment from Loki stilled his tongue. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. It was all he could think to say, having the benefit of being both vague and true. 

“Me too.”

It was ridiculous; Ren had no reason to be sorry for anything. Then Goro realized he probably was apologizing for asking to meet. “You should be,” he croaked, laughing weakly.

Ren choked back a laugh as well, his hands tightening. “Do you want to stay?”

Goro squeezed his eyes shut, wincing at the question. “Yes.”

“Me too.”

“You just said that.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I did.”

After that, the softness melted away, hardened into something sharp and hungry. 

In a brief pause between one devouring kiss and the next, Goro yanked his pants down, flinging them to the side as Ren freed his cock. He licked his palm, slicking himself up a little before lining up to Goro’s entrance with shaking hands.

It wasn’t like last time. Goro wasn’t on his heat; though he was wet, he was nowhere near ready. He squealed as Ren pressed the tip of his cock into him. There was a burning stretch, but at the same time, a deep satisfaction.

“Too much?”

As if a little pain had ever stood in Goro’s way. “More,” he gasped, drawing his legs up for easier access. “More.”

Ren moaned, pushing into him a bit further. “Good?”

“Yes. Yes, good.” 

In the space of one shaky breath and the next, the shallow thrusts deepened, becoming more confident. Ren pushed himself up, staring down at Goro with something like wonder in his eyes. 

Or maybe Goro was just seeing what he wanted to see. 

Did it matter? In the moment, all that mattered to Goro was the way Ren was fucking him, hard and deep and perfect.

Goro had never had sex outside of his heat before. He was unprepared for how different it felt. Without the cloud of hormones, he felt that much more  _ present  _ for the experience. 

He moaned when he felt Ren’s knot begin to press against him with each thrust. Goro knew Ren would never attempt to knot him without asking. He’d never be able to take it anyway; the girth of Ren’s cock was uncomfortable enough. And logistically, having to wait for it to subside after would be agony, at least from an emotional perspective. Not to mention the discomfort of having to clean up and get home....

He also knew Ren wouldn’t ask; he could see it in the lines of tension in his face. 

None of this stopped Goro from wanting it, however. With each thrust, he imagined Ren losing control, overcome with lust. Goro warbled a moan, thinking about Ren ramming his knot home, tearing Goro open, sinking his teeth into the soft skin of Goro’s neck, claiming him. Without thinking, he slid a hand between them to stroke himself.

“Yes,” Ren breathed. “Come for me?” 

_ Come for me.  _ As if Goro’s pleasure was a gift. Goro nodded, staring up at Ren as his orgasm began to coalesce. He angled his hips up further so that Ren was rocking into him, firm and steady.

“Close,” Goro whispered. “Ngh... very close.”

Ren’s lips twitched into a tentative smile. “Good,” he murmured, brushing a lock of sweaty hair away from Goro’s forehead. "So good."

The breath caught in Goro’s throat; he stared up at Ren with the panicked look of someone riding the edge, his eyes tight but open, his mouth wide in a silent shout. He began to shudder.

“Yes,” Ren said again. “That’s it. Fuck, I’m going to --” Ren quickened his pace, leaning down to bury his face in the crook of Goro’s neck.

With a keening moan, Goro came, shaking and spasming beneath him. Goro’s orgasm crested sharp and sweet, the aftershocks washing over him as Ren continued to rut into him. He wrapped his legs around Ren, hooking his ankles together in case Ren was tempted to pull out. 

If he couldn’t have Ren’s knot again, at least he could have this. 

Ren came a moment later with a broken howl, muffled against Goro’s collarbone. Goro could feel his cock twitching, mingling with the last vestiges of his own climax.

And then it was over. They caught their breath, not moving, neither of them eager to hasten the inevitable. 

But time moved forward regardless of their wishes. Eventually Goro’s legs and back began to ache and Ren’s softening cock slipped out of him. 

They didn’t speak as they did their best to clean up and get dressed, making their way back to the entrance. What was there to say? 

As soon as they were back in the real world, Loki was eager to fill the silence, at least within Goro’s mind.  **_This alpha will never suspect his defeat will come at the hands of his omega. You are a true master of deceit, worthy of my power._ **

Although there was no pain with the words, Akechi grimaced anyway. But Loki was correct. What he had just done was entirely selfish. But despite his misgivings, he’d done it anyway. 

And Ren would know that, in the end. It didn’t matter that the sex had technically been Ren’s idea. When it was all over  _ (next week, how could it already be so soon?) _ Ren would know that Goro used him to chase a last, fleeting pleasure. That Goro had slept with him one more time, having already put the pieces in motion to hasten his betrayal. 

Maybe it was for the best. Maybe the next time they saw each other, Ren would hate him. Maybe he’d take the gun from Akechi and point it at him, hands shaking, trying to decide if it was worth it to waste his bullet, to prolong his own suffering in order to punish Akechi for what he’d done. Somewhere in the hidden corners of Akechi’s mind, he almost welcomed the idea.

“Headache?” Ren asked.

Akechi hadn’t realized Ren was watching him that closely. He forced the muscles in his cheeks to contract, flashing what he hoped was at least the semblance of a smile. “No. No, I feel fine.”

Ren nodded. “Well. See you next week.”

“Right. Next week.”

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😭 _N E X T_ _W E E K_ 😭


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The capture of the leader of the Phantom Thieves, and what came after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so I know everyone realizes this fic isn't all sweetness and light, right? Right???
> 
> (Mind the tags!)

The capture of the leader of the Phantom Thieves went exactly as Akechi planned. Even the weather cooperated, blanketing the streets in fog under a full moon. While Ren created a diversion, scampering through Sae-san’s palace with the stolen treasure, Akechi retreated to the front of the casino, watching as the other Phantom Thieves fled the metaverse. Once they were safely out of the way, he extinguished the neon lights via remote. The heavily-armed tactical force waited for him to arrive just outside the courtyard, none of them suspecting that the momentary disorientation they felt marching through the mist was anything but nerves.

He did not stay to watch the capture itself. Instead he went to the station to wait in the comfort of the SIU Director’s office until it was time to interrupt Sae-san’s interrogation. 

“I have to say, this is all going remarkably well," the Chief smirked, pouring himself a measure of golden brown liquor from a decanter. “Can I get you anything? Tea, perhaps?”

“Tea would be most welcome, thank you.” Akechi nodded politely.

The Chief gave an order into the intercom. Less than a minute later, an obsequious young woman came in with a tray.

Akechi thanked her and sipped his tea. “Excellent, thank you.” In truth, he couldn’t taste it. It could have been plain hot water as far as he could tell.

Nothing seemed real. After a week of increasing anxiety, there was nothing left inside him; he felt like an automaton. Akechi was operating purely on habit and adrenaline, acting out his part as if he were in a play. 

“How did it go in there? Did you...” The Chief wiggled his fingers mysteriously.

“It went exactly as I planned,” Akechi said. He wasn’t boasting; it was the truth. His plan had been flawless, after all.

“I wonder how soon we’ll be able to see the change in Niijima-san,” the Chief mused, staring out the window. 

“My guess is that she’s already feeling not herself,” Akechi said. 

The Chief checked his watch. “She’s been in there quite a while. I’d say it’s about time to relieve her of her duties, wouldn’t you say?”

“My thoughts exactly.” Akechi rose, straightened his tie, and picked up his briefcase.

“You’ve... got everything you need? Be careful.” The Chief’s eyes flicked to the attaché.

“I’ll be fine. Thank you for the tea.” Akechi gave a respectful bow and let himself out.

Akechi barely noticed the walk to the basement, his mind nearly blank. What was there to think about? He’d worked through every possible permutation of the plan ahead well in advance. The only thing he needed to do was get into the room and make sure Ren fulfilled his end of the bargain. 

The timing was perfect. Sae-san was just leaving the interrogation room when Akechi arrived. She seemed upset, troubled, but her eyes were clear and focused. That was unexpected, but Akechi reasoned that he’d never actually witnessed what happened after someone’s heart was stolen. The Phantom Thieves said their targets fell ill, but perhaps it didn’t happen right away?

While he was considering it, Sae-san wanted him to examine Ren's phone for some reason. Akechi began to get impatient. The strain of the evening was starting to take a toll as a wash of dizziness went through him. 

But then Sae-san relented, even going so far as to indirectly congratulate him on his accomplishment. “Good luck in there,” she said over her shoulder.

There was something in her voice, some timbre that seemed out of place. No, Akechi was imagining things, looking for trouble where none existed. He squared his shoulders and strode down the corridor.

There was a guard outside the interrogation room, handpicked by the Chief. He nodded at Akechi but made no other moves.

It was time. Akechi took a deep breath and went inside.

He was careful not to look at Ren until after he’d closed the door behind him. And it was a good thing too, because as soon as he saw the condition Ren was in, his stomach clenched. 

It wasn’t so much the cuts, the bruises, the black eye, the way the dust on his cheeks had been tracked by tears. If it had been only that, Akechi might have been able to cope. 

But Ren’s eyes were completely empty, his reactions unnervingly slow. It was then that Akechi noticed the syringes on the floor.

“Good god, what did they do to you?” Akechi set his briefcase on the table.

Ren tilted his head up, looking at Akechi with a blank expression. He blinked slowly, like a cat. It wasn’t clear whether he recognized Akechi at all. 

Akechi flicked open the latch on his briefcase. Carefully, he set the gun in front of Ren. “There. Our deal is fulfilled.” His voice caught. 

Slowly, Ren swiveled his head down to look at the gun. He blinked again, making no move to take the weapon.

Had he forgotten what he planned to do? Was he too drugged? 

“We don’t have a lot of time. Can you even hear me?”

Ren raised his head, his expression completely blank.

It was an utter disaster. Akechi hadn’t expected that Shido’s men would drug Ren. How had Sae-san interrogated him? He couldn’t even speak. 

Shido expected results. Regardless of how it happened, Ren had to die before Akechi left that room. He  _ had  _ to. But the only reason Akechi had made it this far was the knowledge that Ren would be pulling the trigger.

For all of the terrible things Akechi had done, he had never spilled blood in the real world. It was the line he told himself he would never cross. And he certainly did not intend to start now. 

“Ren, listen to me. You have to do it now. You won’t get another chance once I open that door. Please. Pick up the gun.”

Ren’s eyes tightened fractionally but he didn’t respond.

“Come on, dammit, this was your idea.” Akechi made a sound of desperation, running his hands through his hair as he spun on his heel. “Don’t do this to me, please.”

Ren made no move to pick up the weapon. 

Loki’s voice echoed through Akechi’s mind.  **_Do it yourself_ ** .

Akechi answered out loud. “No, no. I can’t. I  _ won’t. _ Dammit, Ren, what did they give you?”

**_Do it or Shido will think you betrayed him and all will be lost._ **

Frantic, Akechi shook Ren’s shoulder. “Please, please. Don’t do this to me. Can you hear me?”

**_Do it, or I will do it for you._ **

Akechi froze. Loki had never taken over his awareness in the real world. Was it even possible? He could feel the burgeoning pressure in the back of his skull, like something was attempting to crawl out. But this wasn’t the metaverse. There was no Black Mask to don. If Loki took over in the real world, Akechi would become psychotic. Permanently.

He only became aware that he was crying when he saw the droplets fall on the desk. “Ren, please. Please don’t make me do this for you.”

At last, tentatively, Ren picked up the gun. After a moment’s hesitation, he pointed it straight at Akechi.

“What are you doing?” Even as the words came out of his mouth, Akechi grabbed for the gun, intending to point it upwards to safety. He wrapped one hand around the silencer and reached for Ren’s fingers with the other. He expected resistance, shoving hard. But there was no resistance at all. In a split second, he pushed too far. Before he could recover, the gun went off, pointed directly under Ren’s chin.

“No....” Akechi whispered. 

Had Ren pulled the trigger? Or had Akechi? The point was moot. In every way that mattered, Goro Akechi had just killed another human being. 

Not just another human -- Ren Amamiya, specifically. 

Akechi had never seen someone die for real. Details impressed themselves on Akechi’s consciousness regardless of his consent: the smell of burnt leather from his singed glove, the material still hot from the barrel of the gun; the spatters of blood on the sleeves of his jacket, soaking into the fibers of the cloth in a criss-cross pattern. From the angle his body landed on the floor, Akechi couldn’t see the bullet wound directly. A pool of blood began to spread across the floor, filling the room with the metallic, musty scent. 

Ren’s eyes continued to stare at him, but it was as if a light had been extinguished. There was no mistaking it. He was dead. 

Akechi’s stomach heaved. Dizzy, he stumbled backwards, falling heavily against the door.

At once, the guard outside opened it, taking the noise for his prearranged signal to intervene. 

Technically speaking, it was all part of the plan. Akechi was to express shock and dismay when the suspect took his own life during questioning. 

But the reality was a nightmare. The guard caught him, clearly confused at his behavior. 

“He -- he had a gun,” Akechi managed to croak, right before he got sick all over the floor.

The guard leapt out of the way. With a grunt of frustration, he strode into the interrogation room and slammed the briefcase shut, shoving it into Akechi’s arms. 

After that, it was a blur. He gave some semblance of a statement -- it should have been almost an afterthought, yet in his distraught condition, Akechi was barely coherent, shivering violently, his skin pale and clammy. No one seemed to know what to do with him. 

Eventually the medical examiner passed by, ostensibly on his way to examine the body. Immediately, he began to berate the others for failing to notice Akechi had gone into shock, despite being in a room with several officers trained in first aid. 

Later, Akechi was in the infirmary, wrapped in a blanket, when Shido arrived. At a glance from him, everyone else vacated the room.

“Don’t you think you’re overdoing it a bit?” Shido sneered. 

Under different circumstances, Akechi would have been able to keep a neutral expression. But the exhaustion, grief, and shock had gotten to him; the glance he gave Shido burned with loathing and hatred. 

Shido’s slick grin faded. 

Usually, that was a sign that terrible things would follow. Akechi didn’t care anymore. He felt hollowed-out, as if his body was a melon husk scraped raw, everything good and pure within him consumed. He expected Shido to berate him for his weakness, for allowing himself to care.

Apparently the universe was not done surprising him, though. Shido raised an eyebrow. “I forget, you’re still young,” he said, his voice tinged with sympathy. “And you knew him.  _ Quite  _ well, if the reports are anything to go by.”

Akechi closed his eyes and took a shaky breath, not trusting himself to reply.

“It needed to be done, and you did it. Take comfort in that if you can. And perhaps this is a good lesson not to get too close next time.”

_ Next time.  _ Those two words were a neat, clear reminder that Shido still had enormous power over him. Until Akechi saw his plan out to the end, Shido could order him to perform any number of atrocities and Akechi would have to obey. 

“I’ll remember that,” Akechi said, his voice hoarse. 

“You did very well,” Shido said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Beyond my expectations.” He squeezed his hand.

Akechi felt a wash of satisfaction at the praise, but it was sour, twisted by irony and his own hatred. Of all the times Shido could have chosen to treat him like a son, it had to be now? “Thank you,” he said. 

“I’ll arrange for a car to take you home, and a doctor to visit you tomorrow. Take a few days to recover. You deserve it. Is there anything else you need?”

Akechi shook his head. “You’ve done more than enough. And I won’t need be needing a doctor.”

Shido nodded in approval. “Good. Self-reliant to the end. That’s what I like to see.” He clapped Akechi on the upper arm. Before Akechi could react, Shido turned and strode out of the room, already barking orders into his phone. 

When Akechi let himself into his apartment, the sun was almost up, filling his room with gray, pre-dawn light. His shock had subsided, leaving behind a greasy sense of numbness. 

Twelve hours ago it seemed to Akechi that nothing was real. Now, the drab, familiar surroundings of his room almost felt  _ too  _ mundane. Akechi had spent the last few weeks preparing for the moment Ren would use the gun on himself. He never thought to prepare for what would come after. 

Intellectually, he recognized that his body was both ravenous and exhausted. He needed to eat and rest, in that order. But at the same time, those realizations were like blips on a computer screen, completely disconnected from his sense of self.

More importantly, there was very little food available, as Akechi took most of his meals out. There was a store a few meters away from the entrance to his building, but it might as well have been on the moon; Akechi couldn’t conceive of attempting to purchase food in his current state. And it was too early in the morning to get anything delivered.

With no other options, Akechi gnawed at one of the protein bars he kept on hand for emergencies, standing over the tiny sink, washing it down with lukewarm water from the tap. From there he blankly went through his bedtime routine, changing into pajamas, plugging in his phone, using the washroom, brushing his teeth. He swallowed a few melatonin pills as well, not wanting to risk insomnia. If, in the brief instant that he shook the capsules into his hand, he wished they were something stronger, something that he could take by the handful and never wake up, the thought passed before it truly registered. Loki didn't like those thoughts, after all. 

Akechi awoke six hours later to loud knocking on his door. Groggy and disoriented, he squinted at the midday sun streaming through the windows. He certainly wasn’t expecting anyone. Had Shido sent a doctor despite his wishes?

Stumbling to the door, Akechi squinted through the peephole. It wasn’t a doctor, but a delivery of food.

“I’m afraid there’s been a mistake,” he said when he opened the door. “I didn’t order anything.”

“It was an online order.” The man handed the bag to him. “It’s already paid for.”

“But --” Akechi sighed as the man walked away without further explanation.

Well, he  _ was  _ very hungry. Akechi went back inside and locked the door behind him. 

There was a receipt stapled to the top of the bag. But it was strange -- the order had been placed two days prior. And in the ‘Special Requests’ line, it said: TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF CROW

Akechi frowned as a terrible suspicion began to race through his mind. He ripped the bag open as the familiar scent of karaage wafted out.

Under different circumstances, Akechi would have found the delivery suspicious, or perhaps even touching. But in his exhausted, numb state, instead a surge of rage flashed through him. 

“Damn him,” he whispered. “Damn him to hell and back.”

It was so like Ren to guess that Akechi wouldn’t be able to take care of himself. Sanctimonious prick. Akechi almost threw the whole thing into the garbage rather than accept Ren’s posthumous charity. But his stomach growled and the numbness came back, tamping down the heat of his anger. It didn’t matter that Ren had managed to best him once again, knowing Akechi would need comfort after everything.

So what if Ren thought --  _ knew -- _ that Akechi was weak. Ultimately, Ren had lost the game. He was dead.

Akechi set the food on his table, pulling up a chair for himself. Then he sat and began to eat the chicken. After all, there was no point in waiting for it to get cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick update on progress and all -- it's looking like we'll have more than 17 chapters after all! I plan to post the next chapter in a day or so, since it's almost ready to go.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akechi puts the pieces together, but not without some damage.

By and large, the numbness persisted the following day, and the next, and the next, showing no signs of abating. Akechi continued to keep up with his media appearances. In a way, it was good that he couldn’t feel anything, otherwise the strain of having to continually talk about his role in capturing Ren might have taken a toll.

The press junket also allowed him to keep up his end of the deal he’d made with Ren to delay the capture of the other members of the team until after Christmas. It wasn’t so much fairness that made him stick to his word as it was the sense that reneging on the deal would mean Ren won again. Which didn’t make a lot of sense, but Akechi didn’t think about it too hard.

Akechi had stopped thinking about  _ anything  _ too hard, in fact. He skated through his days, paying homage to the concepts of school and work, reciting facts about the case, smiling when it was expected, speaking fervently about justice. None of it made any impression on him. By the time he went to bed every night, he could hardly recall how he’d passed the time that day, much less the day before. 

None of it mattered, after all. He was just marking time until he could make Shido suffer as much as possible.

It was on a routine talk show appearance a week and a half later that everything began to crumble. Akechi had phoned it in for the majority of the interview, smiling and nodding and furrowing his brow on cue. But the host, perhaps trying to pull away from the pack of talking heads by discovering some new angle to the same old questions, asked Akechi whether Ren’s death was a letdown.

“A... letdown?” Akechi blinked in confusion. It felt as if he was waking up from a dream. “How so?”

“Well, if it were me, I would have gone into shock.” The host grinned out over the audience, as if they were all in on some big joke.

For the first time since the night Ren died, Akechi felt something: anger. Rage, specifically, focused at the smarmy asshole mugging it up for the cameras.

How  _ dare  _ he presume to know how Akechi felt when the gun went off in his hands? How  _ dare  _ he speculate on Akechi’s state of mind while he watched the life ebb from Ren’s body? A  _ letdown?  _ This asshole actually thought that in that instant, seeing Ren’s lifeless body, the eyes that would never again sparkle, the mouth that would never again ring with laughter, the hands that would never again reach for an embrace, Akechi felt  _ disappointed?? _

Akechi smiled without his eyes. “Tell me, have you ever actually gone into shock? Do you know how it feels?”

“Er, no,” the host said, his own grin dimming.

“It’s rather unpleasant. And yes, when someone commits suicide right in front of you, even if it is a renown criminal, it is  _ quite  _ a shock,” Akechi said. His tone was calm and, but his hands had balled into fists and his eyes were hard as diamonds.. “I found I was quite dizzy and ill, but I’ll spare everyone the grim details.”

The host swallowed hard. “Well, of course, being a detective, you must be in dangerous situations all the time,” he sputtered. 

From the audience, the sound of a ringtone split the tension. Desperate to change the subject, the host made a joke about the Phantom Thieves.

The ringtone was familiar, though. Akechi realized he’d heard it before, one of the many notifications Ren used to distinguish among his contacts. It wasn’t anything unique, just the sound of a cheery bicycle bell, but it triggered a cascade of thoughts. 

Akechi  _ had  _ been dizzy the night Ren died, but the dizziness hit before he even entered the room with Ren. In fact, it started the moment Sae-san turned on that phone. 

_ Ren’s _ phone. A phone which could send anyone nearby into the metaverse. Granted, the app hadn’t been activated, but Futaba could do almost anything with a smartphone. 

The rest of the interview was a blur. As soon as they got the signal to go to commercial break and his interview segment was over, Akechi leapt to his feet. “My apologies, but I have to leave. Now.”

He made his way to the dressing rooms and locked himself in an empty restroom. With shaking hands, he wiped his face and took a deep breath.

Then he closed his eyes and began to think. 

Was it possible that the dizziness he felt was actually a shift into the Metaverse? He had to admit it was. But if that were true, then Sae-san was acting as an accomplice, somehow. That itself seemed highly unlikely. 

But not impossible. It would also explain why Ren wasn’t able to speak or respond. If the person in that interrogation room was merely a cognition of Sae-san, and if she had seen Ren heavily drugged, of course the cognition would have been similarly unresponsive.

It would also mean that no one had died that night. 

Still... for all that to be possible, Ren would have had to know ahead of time that he would be captured from the casino. And that truly  _ was  _ impossible. 

Except, clearly, he  _ must  _ have known, because he ordered that damned chicken for Akechi  _ an entire day before he was captured. _

Ren played him for a fool, and Akechi fell for it. He  _ fucking  _ fell for it.

Akechi had seldom felt so angry as he did in that moment. Acting purely on instinct, his hands shaking, he pulled out his phone and texted Ren’s number:  _ mementos. one hour. _

***

The Shibuya station was just as packed as it had been that first night of Akechi’s heat. But now his desperation to be free of the crowd had everything to do with the white-hot rage that was building up in his system. It was all he could do to not shove people out of his way. 

The snail’s pace only gave Akechi more time to think, and the more he thought, the angrier he became. So much made sense now. Ren had been using him from the very start. Somehow he found out Akechi was an omega, and he used that to get under Akechi’s skin. 

In retrospect, it was obvious. Hadn’t Ren admitted that he’d gone off the alpha blockers before meeting Akechi in the rest area? And that first night in Leblanc, hadn’t Akechi dreamed that Morgana had hopped to the window and talked to Ren? But it wasn’t a dream; Morgana really  _ did  _ come by that night. Which meant when the cat showed up the next day and confronted Ren, it was all an act. Probably the argument with Sakamoto was an act too. Ren had guessed that Akechi would try to play them off each other, and he used that to wrap Akechi around his little finger. And the fucking ringtone was probably planted too, and the crossed-out entry in his journal. 

Ren never intended to kill himself. He planned to fake his death the entire time. That meant it was  _ all  _ a lie: the tenderness, the passion, the moments that Akechi had locked away in his most secret heart of hearts. 

Some part of Akechi knew his logic was faulty, but his fury was all-encompassing, fueled in no small part by his own self-loathing. Ren’s plan had worked because Akechi had been weak, worse than a fool. 

It wasn’t the only time Akechi had been used physically; Shido’s associate had the honor of being the first in that respect. But this was far, far worse. Ren hadn’t just used him -- he’d manipulated Akechi into wanting it, even begging for it. Akechi  _ allowed  _ himself to be used in every conceivable way. 

Akechi made the switch to Mementos. He wasn’t even sure why he’d told Ren to meet him there, but he was certain Ren would do it. And yet, the entrance was occupied, not by Ren, but by Justine and Caroline, standing on either side of a glowing blue portal. It seemed familiar for some reason, but Akechi was too furious to stop and think why.

“The inmate is waiting for you,” Justine said, gesturing him inside.

“I’ll bet he fucking is,” Akechi muttered, striding through the doorway without any hesitation. 

Inside, Akechi barely noticed his surroundings. All his attention was focused on Ren, slouching in a hoodie, hair falling in front of his eyes, with his hands in his fucking pockets like nothing was wrong.

Akechi didn’t even speak. He just strode up to Ren and punched him straight in the face.

With a grunt, Ren went down like a sack of potatoes, tumbling to the ground, his glasses flying off to the side.

“Get up, you piece of  _ shit,” _ Akechi screamed, kicking him in the calves as he rolled to his hands and knees. “You fucking -- was  _ any  _ of it true, you goddamned bastard?” He kicked again, a blow to Ren’s hip which sent him sprawling to his back. "Did you  _ ever _ care in the slightest?"

Ren coughed, gasping for breath, trying to rise. Akechi jumped on him, pinning him to the ground. He grabbed Ren’s lapels, pulling him up a few inches only to slam him back down again. “You damned -- you  _ lied  _ to me! You  _ used  _ me. You gave me your knot and fucking  _ used  _ me.” Akechi’s voice broke.

“I’m sorry,” Ren whispered. “I’m so sorry, Goro.”

Akechi saw then that Ren’s eyes were wet and puffy, his nose red. He was crying. Not only that -- it looked like he’d been crying for a long, long time. 

The anger began to pour out of Akechi in a rush, carrying with it the grief he’d stored up during the last few weeks. “Was  _ any  _ of it true?” he cried out. “Any of it at all?” His grip loosened till his hands were splayed on Ren’s chest.

“Yes,” Ren said. “Goro, I wasn’t acting.”

Goro’s face twisted. “Do you know what I had to do, in that room? Do you know what I  _ saw? _ ”

Ren clenched his eyes closed. When he opened them, he was crying again. “I’m so sorry, Goro. It was the only way.”

“How could you do this to me?” It was a pathetic thing to say.

But Ren had an answer for him. “Because you asked me to,” he said. “You just don’t remember.”

Something about that cut through Goro’s misery. “What?”

“You came up with the whole plan, then you asked the twins to make it so you wouldn’t remember, or even think about it too much. You think I would have come up with that whole scheme all on my own? I get good grades, but I’m not  _ that  _ smart.” Ren sniffled, wiping at his eyes.

“What do you mean, I don’t remember?” For the first time, he looked around. “What is this place?”

“You’ve been here before. Three times, in fact.” 

Goro rolled off of Ren, gazing around at the empty space. It  _ did  _ seem familiar, in a dream-like way. “Explain.”

Ren sat up. “This is where the twins let us train,” he said, massaging his jaw. “They can manipulate our memories here.”

Goro blinked. “So you didn’t hit me with a forget spell that time.”

Ren shook his head, pulling a bandage out of his pocket and unwrapping it. “Haven’t you noticed how quiet it is here?” He tapped his temple.

Searching through his mind, Goro realized he was alone with his thoughts. “He’s gone?”

“Not gone. Just... temporarily muted. Or something. Justine tried to explain it once but I couldn’t follow, honestly.” Ren applied the bandage to his cheek. Immediately, the swelling and redness decreased.

“Sorry I punched you,” Goro said.

“I deserved it,” Ren shrugged. 

“Apparently not, since you say all this was at my request.” Goro shook his head. “I still don’t understand... how did you know I was an omega?”

“Oh, that. Tip from the Phan-site. One of your classmates saw your drugs in the gym locker.” 

Goro narrowed his eyes. “That doesn’t explain how you knew I’d be on my heat.”

“You told me.” Ren wadded up the bandage wrapper and put it in his pocket. “I brought you here to train when you joined the team. After we were done, I showed you the post on the Phan-site to see how you’d react. Um. Didn’t... didn’t go so well, actually.” Ren twisted a lock of his hair, something he only did when he was nervous.

Goro did not like that implication. He scowled. “What  _ aren’t _ you telling me?”

Ren sighed, glancing up at him guiltily. “You... kinda....” He licked his lips. “You weren’t in your right mind, I could tell right away,” he said quickly. “I mean you were really desperate. I knew you didn’t want to do the things you were saying.”

Although Goro couldn’t remember what he’d done or said, he could guess. “I offered you sex in exchange for... what, your silence?” Sighing, Goro’s shoulders slumped in embarrassment. Probably Loki’s idea.

“Basically, yeah. But I said no, that I’d find a different way to help you, and that’s when you  _ really  _ got upset.”

It was humiliating, hearing that not only had he tried to sell access to his body for favors, but that he’d broken down so completely. “Can we just skip to the part where you explain how -- ohhhhhhhh,” Goro said, sitting up straight. “You knew where to find me when I went on my heat because I told you I’d be there.”

Ren swallowed hard, looking anywhere but at Goro. “When I told the team that you had confirmed you were an omega, and that you were going into heat.... We already knew you were going to betray us. It was Haru’s idea for me to meet you, actually. She’s the only one that knows what it’s like to be in heat. She said you’d need help. And Makoto thought maybe.... Maybe we could use that, to get you to tell me something.” Ren winced in distaste.

It made sense. Everything fit together like a puzzle. Even the pieces Goro had hoped were lies slid into place. “So it  _ was  _ just self-preservation on your part, then,” he murmured. “You sought to gain an advantage. Well, I certainly understand the mindset.”

Ren growled in frustration. “Damn, you really love your black-and-white thinking, huh. Never occurred to you it could be both?”

Goro’s head snapped up. “What?”

“I mean, yes,  _ obviously _ I wanted this to all work out so I didn’t, you know. Die. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t want to do the rest for my own selfish reasons.”

Goro could hardly breathe. “What reasons?”

Ren stared at him hard for a moment, then shook his head. “You know, even after having basically this exact conversation over and over, you’d think it would get easier to say. How’s your neck, by the way?”

“My... neck?” Automatically, Goro put his hand to his nape. It ached for weeks, right up until he thought Ren died. “You don’t mean....” He didn’t finish the thought.

He didn’t need to. The pain in his neck was always in the same place, a smallish area, just about the same size as a bite mark.

“That was the second time we were here,” Ren said by way of confirmation. “We.... well. That happened. But I couldn’t let you walk out with my bite, otherwise you’d remember. We had to heal it right away.”

Goro blinked rapidly. “But a claim bite needs to heal on its own,” he said automatically. It was an old wives’ tale, the kind of thing repeated so often as to be taken as a fact, regardless of whether or not it was true.

Ren blew air out his lips. “Guess we figured out why, huh.” 

At first, Goro couldn’t understand his reaction -- was Ren ashamed of claiming him? But then he realized the problem. “I’m not going to remember any of this, am I?”

Ren clenched his eyes closed, shaking his head. “You can’t. I’m sorry, Goro, but you  _ can’t, _ it would ruin everything. I’m so sorry, I never should have come here, but I wanted to see you so badly that I -- I’m so fucking selfish.” He rolled away from Goro, muffling a sob into his hand. 

Probably Goro should have been worried about his missing memories, but in the moment all he could think about was how much pain Ren was in. Seeing Ren break down so completely, Goro couldn’t possibly hold on to whatever was left of his anger. “And yet you keep meeting me here, knowing that I’ll just go back to plotting against you again once we leave? Why would you do that to yourself??”

Ren glanced up at him and then away. “Because,” he said, his voice breaking a little. He took a careful breath and then continued. “Because there’s always a point where for a minute or two, you think about it. About being with me, I mean. I know that’ll never happen. I know I’m just fooling myself. But in that few minutes, it’s almost like it might be possible. I guess I’m just a sucker for punishment, even though I know what’s going to happen after.”

Once again, Goro had a sinking sensation in his stomach. “What  _ is  _ going to happen?”

With a shrug, Ren wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “Well, given how you greeted me just now, I’d guess that you’ll still be pretty pissed at me. I imagine you’ll find us in Shido’s palace.”

“You think I’ll try to stop you.”

Ren snorted. “Uh, yeah.”

“You’re probably right.” A lull fell between them. “Wait, you said I was here three times. What was the third?”

“Huh? Oh, the twins brought you here, for our deal,” Ren said. 

Goro remembered meeting with the strange, otherworldly little girls, he was sure of that. But the details were vague. “They told me I could get rid of a persona by killing it,” he said slowly. “I don’t remember coming to this place, though.”

“Trust me, you came here. They charge me every time to make you forget. Believe me, I paid them enough.” Ren shook his head, huffing affectionately.

“Paid? I don’t understand -- they charge you a fee?”

Ren nodded. “They like to go places. The aquarium, the Skytree... but for our deal, I had to spend an entire day with them at DestinyLand.”

Goro began to laugh, imagining it. 

“It’s not funny,” Ren said, grinning despite himself. “No one can see them in the real world. I spent a day wandering around alone, with a cat in my bag, talking to myself on the little kiddie rides. They loved the fucking teacup ride so much I had to go on it three times. Security almost kicked me out.”

Once the laughter took hold of Goro, it felt like it would never stop. “I can just picture it,” he crowed, clutching his stomach. 

“Picture Morgana vomiting in the flight simulator ride too,” Ren said. “Right into my bag. That was a real highlight, let me tell you.”

Laughing so hard he could hardly draw breath, Goro flopped onto his back. It took several minutes, but eventually his laughter died to giggles. With a last few hiccups, he rolled to his side to face Ren. “I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so long.”

Ren grinned. “I’ll tell you again once we’re through all this. See if it’s still funny the second time around.”

Goro’s smile dimmed. “Do you think that will actually happen?”

Ren looked at him. “Maybe. I hope so. It all comes down to you.”

***

Akechi blinked, looking around the entrance to Mementos. For a moment he thought he saw those twins in the corner, but it was just his imagination. There was no one there but him.

Still, Akechi waited. He waited a very long time. But Ren never appeared. 

Perhaps it was foolish to think that Ren would be there. After all, if he’d faked his death, he’d hardly come rushing to meet Akechi, would he? In any event, there would be an easy way to find out. Akechi knew full well that Shido had a palace. It was the most logical place for Ren to be; most likely that was why he asked Akechi to wait to bring in the other Phantom Thieves. 

“He thinks he can hide from me, hmm? We’ll just see about that.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay okay yes I know that people can see the twins in the real world but let me just have my "Ren wandering around Disneyland with a cat in his bag, talking to himself" headcanon ok???


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Phantom Thieves finally confront the Black Mask. But nothing goes as Akechi expects -- or does it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops, sorry for posting late this week! Lost track of what day it is. :D

By the following day, Akechi’s rage hadn’t so much abated as it had morphed from a raging inferno to a smaller, hotter flame. Something easier to control, and therefore something much more dangerous.

Sending the text to Ren the day before was a mistake, he realized that now. It was foolish to let his personal feelings get in the way. In so doing, Akechi played his hand too soon, ruining the element of surprise. He didn’t have time to come up with a clever strategy; his only option was to stop the Phantom Thieves as quickly as possible. 

Akechi promised Ren that he wouldn’t lead the police to the Phantom Thieves, but he never promised not to kill them himself.

Shido’s palace was even bigger than it was the last time he visited. The luxury cruise ship was at least the size of two city blocks, and the replica Diet building which squatted on the deck was also larger than life. Akechi made a point to drop in every few months so that he’d never lose sight of his ultimate goal: sinking this ship and its Captain by any means necessary.

However, the moment he crossed into the Metaverse he found himself wearing his Crow attire. Usually he remained in his school uniform, as Shido didn’t see him as a threat. The fact that his clothes changed was all but proof that the Phantom Thieves were already there; Shido’s unconscious mind now saw any intruder as a source of danger. 

“Damn it,” Akechi hissed. Hiding was not Crow’s strong suit, in the most literal sense; a gleaming white jacket and shiny brass buttons were terrible for lurking in dark corners. 

The Black Mask he donned when Loki was called forth, on the other hand, was stealth incarnate. In that form, only Joker was his equal when it came to remaining unseen. Crow ducked behind a pillar to make the change. 

After two years, Akechi had become somewhat accustomed to the sensation. Which is to say, he knew what to expect as the murky blackness coalesced around him, transforming his body and mind. But just because he was familiar with the creeping horror as tendrils of Loki’s will snaked through his skull didn’t mean Akechi found it pleasant. He groaned, clutching his head as his sense of self was shunted to the side.

It wasn’t that Loki controlled him outright. It felt more like Akechi was a child trying to play piano, sitting in a parent’s lap, his tiny fingers being moved by the more skillful, capable hands wrapping around his own. Akechi  _ could  _ rebel against Loki, wrest away control for a few moments, but why would he? Just to mash the keys in a cacophony, instead of creating actual music?

And anyway, Akechi knew what he’d been getting into from the very start. Ceding partial control of his body to a god was a small price to pay for power.

That very same power coursed through him now. After months of being stifled by Robin Hood’s limitations, the raw energy surging through Akechi’s veins filled him with a twisted ecstasy. 

Akechi launched himself forward, his body almost seeming to fly as he leapt from corner to corner. His grin was wild and feral; in the lobby of Shido’s palace, he destroyed a canine shadow as it walked past his hiding place. Not because it was a threat, but simply because it felt good to do so. 

Not just good --  _ fantastic.  _ Multiplied by Loki’s own pleasure, Akechi revelled in the surprised howl of pain, the spurt of inky blood, the sudden shiver of the creature’s flesh right before it dissolved into nothingness.

We’re not here to play, he reminded himself. 

Akechi had no idea how much of a head start the Phantom Thieves had, but it was probably a few weeks. No doubt they were seeking invitations to Shido’s inner sanctum. Rather than track the thieves themselves, Akechi set out to find the VIPs who could grant the letters of introduction needed to gain access.

As he suspected, the thieves had been very busy indeed. He did have to admit, it was satisfying to watch the cognitions of Shido’s sycophants piss themselves with fear when they saw the Black Mask. Ironic, since no doubt most of them would be meeting him for real someday. But his frustration grew when it came to light that the others had already obtained four letters. They only needed one more to get to the treasure. 

He was so far behind! Akechi made his way to the bowels of the ship, into the domain of the Cleaner, the nickname of Shido’s connection to the Yakuza. Akechi knew the way the Phantom Thieves operated; they would leave the most difficult challenge for last.

When Akechi arrived, there was no sign of the Phantom Thieves. Good. He settled in to wait. 

He didn’t have to wait very long. Within an hour, the sounds of battle rang out from the control room. They would either defeat the Cleaner or vice versa. Akechi actually hoped it was the former; if the Phantom Thieves were cut down by someone else, it would rob him of his chance to confront them himself.

We must change back to Crow, he told himself. Otherwise they will attack before I can speak.

Begrudgingly, Loki retreated from his mind, the dull rusty-black and midnight-blue fading from Akechi’s clothing until he was dressed as Crow once again.

The others came bursting into the engine room, making a mad dash towards the exit.

Akechi hopped down from his hiding place, sauntering up to meet them.

He’d spent all day thinking of what he would say to them. To  _ him. _ But when he saw Joker alive and well, all his clever words dried up in his throat. “So. You  _ are  _ alive.”

The others looked at each other, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot. Akechi didn’t give a shit about them though. He only looked at Joker.

“Goro, I had no choice. I’m so sorry.”

Akechi cackled maniacally. “Sorry?  _ Sorry??  _ You think your pathetic apology will ever be enough for me?” It was an empty threat; he could already feel that the heat of his rage cooling a few degrees under the balm of Ren’s words. 

Somewhere deep inside, he wanted to believe that Ren was truly sorry. To believe that Ren slept with him not only to gain an advantage, but because he wanted it. Wanted  _ him. _

Akechi shoved those thoughts to the side. They served no purpose. It didn’t matter what Goro wanted; all that mattered was that Joker wouldn’t fool him again. 

But of course, it wasn’t only about himself and Joker. The others butt in, asking tiresome questions about  _ why  _ Akechi would do such terrible things, looking at him with pity when he revealed that he was Shido’s bastard.

Their sympathy only fueled the fire in his veins. Let them have their pity. He’d take his solace in their defeat.

In the end, it came down to a fight, as he knew it would. At first he toyed with them, revealing the true strength of Robin Hood. Although he was the weaker of Akechi’s personas, his strength still matched or exceeded any of the others. Or at least, any of the others that he had seen. It was possible that Joker had some persona hidden in reserve; after all, he’d deceived Akechi from the very start.

But if Ren had such power, he did not reveal it. The fight grew boring. It was time to stop fooling around. It was time for the others to meet the Black Mask.

This time, when Loki answered Akechi’s call, it wasn’t a silent slithering of awareness which overtook him. The trickster god clawed his way out of Akechi’s skull in a burst of power. The Phantom Thieves were about to meet their end. After all, the Black Mask knew all their tricks. 

Yet the Phantom Thieves still managed to surprise him. Despite Loki’s power, they pulled new tactics seemingly from thin air, volleying a barrage of attacks and spells from every angle, including his blind spots. He couldn’t respond fast enough. Where had they learned this strategy?

Distracted by defending himself from the smaller attacks, Akechi failed to notice that Joker was no longer in his field of view. Had he retreated? Akechi spun around wildly, heedless of the puny attacks of the others.

Then he saw Joker. He hadn’t retreated, he was hiding within Akechi’s blind spot, biding his time, charging his power. 

Behind him was a persona Akechi had never seen before, a massively powerful being in a golden helmet, holding a staff wreathed with lightning, wearing a patch over one eye.

Although Akechi didn’t recognize him, Loki did. He shrieked in rage and frustration at the appearance of Odin, the All-Father.

The second Loki’s attention was diverted, someone hit Akechi with a Bless weapon square in the center of his back. The actual damage was minimal, but Loki was weak against it. Akechi stumbled and fell.

That was when Ren attacked. Or rather, Odin did on his behalf, raining down holy lightning with a power Akechi hadn’t known was even possible.

The pain was immense, but somehow Akechi survived, barely. Above him, Loki flickered, his wail of agony seeming to echo from a great distance. It was almost over.

Akechi had failed. Loki was dying, and Akechi would soon join him.

_ You gotta call him out and then kill him, clean dead in one blow.... _

Akechi shook his head as the intrusive thought flashed through his mind; why was he thinking of the twins now, of all times? But he couldn’t concentrate; between the pain and the endless yapping of the others, taunting him in his defeat, pretending that they actually admired Akechi for his strength and cunning.... Fitting that his life should end with such lies.

But  _ were  _ they lies? Goro’s own awareness began to seep back in; was it possible the others were sincere? Was it possible they truly could have forgiven him, if things had been different?

Before he could decide, a new disaster befell them all: his own cognition arrived. 

It was almost inevitable, really -- Shido was certain to have an internal picture of Akechi, hence his cognition would also manifest itself. But through the haze of pain and exhaustion, Akechi couldn’t help but remark on how odd it was to see himself, not in a mirror, but walking around and speaking with his voice. 

The cognition seemed to take great pleasure in letting Akechi know that Shido planned to exterminate him right after the election. If Akechi had been strong enough, he would have punched his own face in. 

But he wasn’t strong enough, and he certainly wasn’t quick enough to dodge a bullet. He was going to die here, and for nothing. 

No, not for nothing. He had one hand left to play, one final bluff: if the Phantom Thieves escaped, then perhaps Shido would still pay. If they stole his heart, his humiliating confession would no doubt be splashed across every screen in the country. In fact, if Akechi had known such things were possible before he met the Phantom Thieves, he would have planned it that way from the start.

The familiar thought snagged in his mind.  _ The only thing that would be better would be to do it myself. Though in a way, I  _ **_would_ ** _ be doing it myself. _ Had he said that before?

There was no time to dwell on it. Akechi’s cognition, seemingly unsatisfied with the prospect of killing Goro outright, started blathering on and on and  _ on,  _ calling Akechi a puppet. Is this how he sounded to everyone else? Hearing himself pontificate was almost as bad as being defeated.

His cognition decided Akechi should prove his loyalty to Shido by shooting the others. He summoned a horde of shadows, surrounding Akechi. “I’ll give you one last chance.”

_ One chance... one shot...  _ The words echoed through his mind.

Something strange was happening. Suddenly, Akechi felt that everything was going to work out. Which was ridiculous; he was dying. Perhaps that  _ was  _ the reason. Even with the pain, Akechi felt at peace, ready for whatever came next. He forced himself to stand, using his sword as a crutch, swaying slightly. Above him, Loki began to solidify. It was time to end this.

Akechi drew his gun and pointed it straight at Joker, as his cognition had commanded. Without turning his head, he glanced significantly at the control panel to the bulkhead door, hoping that Joker understood his meaning.

Joker raised his chin defiantly. “You remember our deal, Akechi? You only get one shot.”

Somehow, he knew exactly what to say. “One shot is all I need,” he said, echoing Joker’s own words from the airsoft shop back at him. 

Joker’s lips twitched.

Time seemed to slow down. Out of his peripheral vision, Akechi saw Joker’s hand move towards his hip. For another fraction of a second, they held each other’s gaze. And then Joker smiled.

It was a strange sort of smile, not his usual cheeky, triumphant grin. It was softer, almost sad, the kind of smile you give to someone you might never see again. Goro felt something in his heart crack open. 

And then everything happened at once. In the space of one heartbeat, Akechi spun around to shoot the control panel and his cognition; at the same instant, Ren shot Loki. The persona exploded into shards of dark energy as the klaxons sounded for the emergency door to raise, cutting the Phantom Thieves off from Akechi and the remaining shadows.

In the end, his cognition had been right about Akechi being a puppet; when Loki was destroyed, it felt like all of his strings had been cut. Akechi slid to the ground, boneless. 

His vision began to wane and his hearing dimmed, though not before he could hear the others shouting from the other side of the door. There was a white shimmer, almost like a healing spell cascading over his body. The last thing he felt was the jaws of the shadows, tearing into his arms and legs. Then, nothing.

* * *

No, not nothing. Something was on his face. Something cool, slightly damp, tickling his skin. A smell -- green grass and earth.  _ I’m lying on the ground,  _ he thought.  _ This is the real world.  _

And then, pain, from everywhere, all at once.  _ That’s right, I’m dying.  _

Something else, too: a voice, the voice of a woman, low and seductive. “There he is! I found him.”

Another voice, masculine, gruff. “Holy shit, the kid was right. I swear, he wasn’t here a second ago. I can’t fucking believe it.”

“Do you always swear this much?” 

He felt something else, then -- hands, pulling, pushing, rolling him over. It seemed like every part of his body radiated pain. 

The woman spoke again. “Hey, hey, can you hear me? If you can hear me, open your eyes.”

He did. It was dark. Night. Above him, silhouetted against the glow of distant street lamps, he saw a goth... doctor? And over her shoulder... a man with a tattoo on his neck.

She sighed in relief. “He’s conscious. Can you speak? Can you tell me your name?”

He opened his mouth. A name? There was a strange emptiness in his mind. Words moved slowly; he tried to reach for them but they slipped away.

“Damn, he’s in bad shape,” the man said. “Where the fuck is Sakura?” He peered nervously out into the distance.

“These injuries are strange -- they look almost healed, but he’s clearly suffering from blood loss,” the doctor said. 

That’s right, he was injured. He fought and lost. Or had he won? He stirred, trying to locate his hands and feet.

“Don’t try to move,” she said. “We need to get you to safety.”

“Van’s on it’s way,” the man said, checking his phone. “He’ll be on the west edge of the park in two minutes to rendezvous.”

“We really need a stretcher,” the doctor muttered. “I hate to pick him up without knowing if he’s bleeding internally.”

“Gonna have to risk it.” The man reached down and hefted him in his arms as if he weighed nothing.

“Oh -- wow, okay.” The doctor cleared her throat. Was she blushing?

They began to walk. 

“So... you wanna grab some noodles after this? I’m starvin’,” the man said.

Huffing, the doctor shot him an incredulous glance. “Are you  _ really  _ flirting with me? Now?”

Even though he was dying, he couldn’t help but groan. The doctor had a point.

“Well he can hear us at any rate,” she drawled. 

“Is that a no, or....?”

A van pulled up to them. A man in a white hat hopped out. He smelled like coffee and cigarettes. “Damn, what a mess.”

He was bundled into the van. As they pulled away from the curb, the motion of the vehicle was soothing. His awareness slipped away once more, but just before it did, he remembered.  _ Goro Akechi. My name is Goro Akechi. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ren arranged for someone to pick up Akechi, you can't change my mind _*sips coffee* ___


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akechi is shocked to find that he's still alive.

Sound was the first thing which impressed upon Akechi’s awareness. Before he was awake enough to process  _ what _ exactly the rhythmic, grating sound was, he felt a sense of irritation. As wakefulness gradually bloomed, he realised it was the sound of snoring. He listened to it, half-asleep, for ages before the annoyance woke him fully. 

As soon as he tried to move, he immediately wished he had stayed asleep; dull pain emanated from various points in his body. Also, he had to go to the bathroom. Really, really badly. 

Either he was alive, or he died and ended up in the Hell of Minor Aggravations. Akechi opened his eyes. He found himself laying in bed in an unfamiliar studio apartment. The light outside the window was pale gray tinted with rose; he guessed it was just before dawn.

The noise was coming from the couch nearby. The man from the airsoft shop was sprawled there, asleep. 

Akechi vaguely recalled the man picking him up and carrying him. And Ren’s doctor was there too, and Sojiro Sakura. How did they know where to find him? What was going on?

First things first. Intending to go to the bathroom, Akechi tried to sit up. A sharp pain in his side made him hiss, swearing under his breath.

Immediately, the other man woke up. “You awake?” He clicked on a light. “Don’t try to get up, you’re still in rough shape. Broke your ankle, couple of ribs, dislocated your shoulder.”

That explained the pain, in any event. “Where am I?”

“Airbnb in Shibuya. Figured your place wasn’t an option. Hope you don’t mind, we used your key to get some clothes and stuff.”

Akechi wondered who “we” referred to. There were more pressing matters, however. “I need to use the restroom,” he said.

“Right, right.” The man helped to ease him into a sitting position. 

It was awkward, leaning on this near-stranger as Akechi limped to the bathroom. At least Akechi could manage his business alone; the bathroom had grab bars around the walls, which made everything much easier. He regarded his reflection in the mirror as he washed his hands. His right eye was ringed by the shadow of a bruise, while he had a slash through his eyebrow, tied up in neat stitches. He wondered, idly, if it would leave a scar.

He wondered, just as idly, why the hell he was still alive.

“You okay in there?” the man called out. “I ain’t gonna give you any help shakin’ it.”

Akechi huffed in near-laughter. “Be right out,” he said. “Just going to brush my teeth.”

There was an unwrapped toothbrush on the sink and a small tube of toothpaste. Ignoring these for the time being, Akechi opened the medicine cabinet. 

He wasn’t sure what he was expecting to see, or why he bothered to check. Perhaps it was instinct, perhaps just his natural inclination to snoop. But when he only found a box of Band-aids and a spare bar of soap, it felt like a dead-end, the denial of a potential escape route.

After all, he shouldn’t be alive. He should have died in Shido’s palace. He  _ intended  _ to die there. But there was nothing in the medicine cabinet which would help him finish the job.

Automatically, he shifted his mind away from the self-destructive thought. Loki didn’t like those one bit. 

Then Akechi remembered: Loki was gone.

Ren had destroyed him.

Akechi’s mind, so used to breaking his feelings into pieces to tuck away for safekeeping, was suddenly flooded with relief, regret, guilt, hope, despair. Gasping, he leaned heavily on the sink as he was hit with so much all at once. But it wasn’t so much like drowning as being splashed with a bucket of cold water -- a quick shock which left him shivering and confused.

Realizing he was meant to be brushing his teeth, he turned on the tap in case the guy was listening. Akechi still had no idea what his situation was, but there was every chance that he wasn’t free to leave. Best not to raise any suspicions. 

After he pulled himself together (and brushed his teeth, because he desperately needed it), he hobbled over and opened the door. “Sorry it took so long.”

The man shook his head as he guided Akechi out of the room. “No problem. Name’s Iwai, by the way. Bed or couch?”

“Couch, thank you,” Akechi said. As Iwai helped him get settled, he said, “Nice job on the gun. It was fake, wasn’t it?”

The man snorted. “You really thought I’d just go givin’ an actual weapon to you punks?” He pulled out his phone. “Just gonna let the doc know you’re awake,” he said.

Akechi assumed he referred to Ren’s doctor. “How long was I out?”

“‘Bout 18 hours.”

Akechi wrestled with the loss of time. Stranger still was acclimating to Loki’s absence. He felt like an entirely new person, as if he’d shed his skin like a snake. He felt raw and naked and very, very small. “What happens now?”

The guy shrugged, pulling up a chair. “Doc’ll be by to check on you.”

“I meant after that.”

Another shrug. “I’d say dancing’s off the menu for a while.”

There was a long pause. Goro hadn’t given much thought to what would happen to him once his quest for vengeance against Shido was over. Not because he didn’t want to; he couldn’t, not with Loki breathing down his neck. But Loki was gone.

Akechi’s crimes, however, were still very real.

He almost asked if Iwai was ex-yakuza, whether he'd changed his identity. But something stilled his tongue. The idea of running felt wrong on an almost molecular level. Akechi wasn't sure why he was alive, but hiding from the things he’d done couldn’t possibly be the reason.

The goth doctor showed up later that morning -- Takemi-san, her name was. After an examination, she fitted him with an ankle brace. It would be at least three weeks before he could put any weight on his ankle, and probably six before he’d be able to walk without crutches. She left him some over-the-counter pain medication, a cell number to call in emergencies, and a reminder to rest and stay hydrated. And then she and Iwai left him alone. 

Neither had said anything about being confined to the apartment. But Akechi didn’t seriously consider trying to leave. For one thing, he could barely manage to get from the couch to the restroom on his own. Even if he was in perfect health, where would he go? Back to his old life? He still didn’t know why he had been saved in the first place. 

It was difficult to make plans of any sort, in fact. Without Loki, it was hard to know what he wanted, what motivations were driving him. Akechi felt as though he was in a strange limbo, no longer an active participant in his own life. He wasn’t even sure if that bothered him.

Lacking the ability to make any real decisions, not to mention having nothing else to do, Akechi ended up turning on the television. He hadn’t watched anything aside from the news or his own appearances in years, and the majority of those he saw online. In fact, he hadn’t really watched television at all since his mother died. 

It felt almost nostalgic to huddle on the couch with snacks and blankets, aimlessly clicking through the channels. He knew he should be concentrating on his situation, but he was reluctant to think too hard about it. 

With so much newfound space in his own mind, the thoughts he did have seemed to echo, while his emotions flashed through him without warning. Often Akechi would find he was weeping at some melodrama before he could even process a sense of sadness. By the same token, the simplest jokes sent him into paroxysms of laughter. 

He spent the day alternating between watching TV and napping. In fact, he didn’t even bother getting into bed that night, instead choosing to sleep on the couch with the television on. It felt indulgent, the kind of thing he’d no doubt regret later. But since he still wasn’t sure why he was even alive at all, sleeping on the couch seemed the last thing to worry about.

In any event, he got an answer soon enough. The following morning, he had a visitor. 

Akechi’s face went pale when she let herself into the apartment. “Sae-san,” he whispered.

She set a bag of food on the table. “I’d say you’re looking well, but I think we should cut down on the lying from here on out, wouldn’t you say?”

Eyes a bit wild, Akechi struggled to prop himself up on the couch. “That sounds reasonable,” he agreed tentatively, scrambling to gather the empty snack wrappers festooned around him.

“Relax,” she said, pulling up a chair. “I’m not here to have you arrested.”

“I’m sensing a ‘yet’,” Akechi said.

“That depends entirely on your willingness to testify against Shido,” she said. “In return for your testimony, I’m prepared to offer protective witness status and immunity.”

Akechi suddenly understood why his life had been spared. It was obvious in retrospect. On the one hand, it was a relief; this was something he understood very well, a part of the world he’d lived in for the last few years. 

On the other hand, Akechi had been braced to face the repercussions of his crimes. To find out there would be no punishment at all -- at least from a legal standpoint -- was almost disappointing. Yet he knew Sae-san wasn’t doing this just to go easy on him. No doubt she had weighed her chances of conviction and decided against pressing charges against him. Akechi had always banked on the fact that his crimes in the metaverse were impossible to trace, a neat loophole in his favor. Even if Shido pointed the finger at him, there was no evidence. Akechi didn’t wear gloves all the time for nothing, after all.

But that was before, in the long dark night of his time as the Black Mask. Now, in the cold light of morning, it felt like cheating to be allowed a second chance. However, it wasn’t up to him to decide, was it? “Straight to the point, as ever. Of course, I’ll do whatever it takes.”

“I’d say you’ve proven that several times over, if what the others told me is true.”

“You’ve spoken with the others? Is he -- are they alright?”

Sae-san raised an eyebrow. “I have. I can’t say I understand everything they told me. But the method doesn’t concern me so much as stopping the mental shutdowns. And that means prosecuting Shido to the fullest extent of the law.”

“Understood.” 

“Good. We’re doing our best to make sure the rumors of your disappearance spread quickly. Assuming you don’t contact anyone, you should be relatively safe here. Because Shido’s influence is so strong, I can’t rely on the police to provide security. You’ll just have to lie low and hope for the best, I’m afraid. We’ve arranged for trusted individuals to assist you in your convalescence. You’re perfectly free to leave, but I don’t recommend it.”

Akechi nodded. “I should warn you that Shido almost certainly plans to remove the SIU Director from the picture. I recommend you keep your investigations as quiet as possible. Shido thinks we stole your heart, after all.”

“The others said much the same. Apparently that was all a ruse to fool you, however. Whatever Amamiya-kun supposedly stole was merely a decoy.”

Akechi’s heart stuttered in his chest.  _ “What??” _

Sae-san shrugged. “I have to say, now that I know the truth behind the matter, I do feel a bit... lighter, more like myself. They assured me that someone doesn’t need to have their treasure stolen to have a change of heart. Apparently even meeting the Phantom Thieves in that other world can be enough, if the person desires to change.”

Akechi hardly heard her. The  _ whole thing _ was a set-up? How was that even possible?? He guessed that Ren had taken advantage of his heat so that Akechi would be more amenable to their deal. But the concept that the entire mission to steal Sae-san’s heart was a ruse was infinitely more complex. 

In a way, it was almost a comfort; if Ren was truly so brilliant as to come up with such a scheme, Akechi had to respect that.

Sae-san began to gather her things to leave. “Well, I must be going.”

“Wait -- Sae-san, I....” Akechi’s voice trailed off.

Sae-san raised an eyebrow as she hoisted her bag over her shoulder. “Yes?”

“I apologize for deceiving you.” As soon as the words left his mouth, he winced at how inadequate they were.

Incredibly, Sae-san laughed, a throaty, sarcastic sound he’d never heard before. It made Akechi feel very small, and rightfully so. 

“Apologies,” she said, attempting to get her laughter under control. “I have no doubt of your sincerity. He said you were being influenced by some arcane power, not to mention your familial ties.”

“He... spoke of me?” Akechi sat up, only to sag back a moment later. “What am I saying, of course he would mention the traitor of the Phantom Thieves.”

Sae-san tilted her head. “Funny, traitor is not the word he used.” She looked as though she found the whole situation vastly amusing.

Before he could ask what Ren  _ did  _ call him, Sae-san let herself out. 

No matter. Ren and the other Phantom Thieves probably had a field day coming up with names to call him. And who could blame them? No doubt they thought he was a monster after seeing him transform into Black Mask.

For all intents and purposes, he  _ was  _ a monster when he was one with Loki. As soon as the thought crossed his mind, Akechi flinched, expecting a sting of pain. But there was none. Loki was gone forever.

Ren had killed him in one blow, just like those strange little girls said. But why? It wasn’t part of their deal. Perhaps he was gambling on the idea that Akechi would agree to testify against Shido? That must be it. If the whole thing was a set-up, and Ren had simply been using Akechi, there was no reason to think there was any emotion involved beyond Ren’s basic distaste for taking human lives.

But how had he known to shoot Loki in the first place? Perhaps Justine and Caroline told him? After all, the twins already knew what Akechi was going to ask before he arrived. It wasn’t as if they had pledged any confidentiality. 

Though, it was strange. He had a hard time recalling their meeting. He remembered little things -- the lettering on their hats, the feeling of Caroline’s baton smacking his leg, snippets of conversation -- with great clarity. But other than that, it felt like trying to remember a dream. 

If a patchy memory was the price he had to pay for his freedom from Loki, he’d pay it a million times over. But his memory had troubled him for what felt like months, starting just before his heat. It may have simply been because of the enormous stress he was under. Now that Loki was gone, Akechi realized just how much effort it took to keep his thoughts and emotions under control. Not only had his memory been affected, but he’d had chronic neck aches and frequent nausea as well. It was hard to believe that the strain of repressing emotions could cause such side effects, but there didn’t seem to be any other explanation.

Although he had plenty of time to think about it, Akechi chose not to dwell on his memory. Instead he continued to distract himself with TV and the nearly endless supply of manga that Iwai’s son loaned him. He even went so far as to boot up the ancient video game console attached to the television. 

He quickly fell into his new routine. The first few days, Dr. Takemi checked on him in the morning, and Iwai-san and his son Kaoru dropped off dinner (and yet more manga) in the evening. On the fourth day, though, he had an unexpected visitor.

Mid-morning, Mifune-san poked her head in after a gentle knock on the door. “Is this a good time?” She held up a bag of groceries.

Akechi scrambled to pause his game of Katamari Damacy and turn off the television before she could see what he was doing. “Oh! Yes, please come in. I’m afraid I can’t quite rise to meet you,” he said, gesturing at the brace on his foot. “It was Mifune-san, right?”

“You remembered!” She smiled as she began to put the food away. 

Akechi smiled too. After everything that had happened the last few weeks, it was a relief to have a normal, pleasant conversation. “Of course, how could I forget? How is the fortune telling business? I hope you haven’t had any customers as rude as I was.”

“You weren’t rude at all,” she lied. “Amamiya-kun explained later that he was goading you on purpose so that you would fight him.”

“Was he?” Akechi’s smile dimmed. “He told me that he thought I was provoking you and it made him upset.”

Mifune stopped what she was doing to give him a quizzical look. “How odd,” she said. 

Akechi tried to shake it off. “I suppose we were both lying to each other from the start,” he said, trying to sound blase about it. “What’s one more falsehood among enemies?” 

“Enemies?” Mifune tilted her head. “I thought you were, um, close.” Her cheeks bloomed in a dainty blush as she went back to rearranging the contents of the refrigerator.

Akechi opened his mouth to reply, but then he paused. There were any number of ways to answer that. “We... it was....” His brow furrowed. Were they close? No. It had been nothing but lies from the very start. 

“That sounds complicated,” Mifune said after he failed to finish the thought. 

“No, not really,” Akechi sighed. “He did what he needed to do, and I’m a terrible person, so even if he wanted to -- ahh, it doesn’t matter,” he said, forcing himself into a smile he didn’t feel.

“Are you terrible?” Mifune gave a tinkling laugh. “You’ll excuse me if I don’t take your word for it, Akechi-kun.”

Akechi’s smile warmed up. “Oh, but I am. I’ve done horrible things.” It was easier to say if he made it a joke. “Truly, I’m beyond redemption. If you knew the half of it, you’d never come back again though. And I’d be truly bereft without your sparkling presence. The less said of such things, the better.”

Mifune pulled a chair up to where Akechi rested on the couch. “Amamiya-kun told me what you did. I assume he told everyone who has been looking after you.”

“Did he?” Akechi scrunched his nose. “I can’t imagine he told you everything, though.” 

“Perhaps not. I don’t think you’re terrible, though. I think you’re a brave young man who was manipulated and abused for years. Many of the people who come to see me are controlled by others -- their parents, their boss, their spouses. Some of them have also done horrible things. They blame themselves always for being weak, but they never blame those who forced their hand or twisted their hearts.” She shook her head sadly. “I was much the same, once.”

Her sincerity was utterly disarming. “But I  _ am  _ weak,” Akechi admitted. “It  _ is  _ my fault.”

“Is it? If what Amamiya-kun told me is true, you were facing the worst kind of manipulation, all alone, with no one to guide you. I can’t imagine how lonely that must have been. In those circumstances, is it any wonder that you made poor choices? And despite all that you managed to do the right thing in the end. Don’t you think that counts for something?” 

Akechi huffed. Why was she insisting on being so forgiving?  _ “Poor choices? _ Innocent people died because of my actions.”

“Yes,” Mifune nodded sadly. “I know. Amamiya-kun told me you made yourself into a weapon. That is the thinking of a hurt child: to hope that by being deadly, you would gain power over your life and the justice you deserved. But a weapon does not wield itself. Amamiya-kun also said that you could not stand up to this strange force within you. How could you be solely accountable, if that is true? You told me that fate itself twisted your sense of fairness and justice, that you were a victim of circumstance.”

“That’s different,” he muttered. “I only said that to antagonize Ren.”

“And yet, you hit on the truth of the matter. Why can’t you forgive yourself?”

“Forgiveness?? I don’t deserve forgiveness. My entire existence is a lie. I’ve only ever acted selfishly, with no regard for others, why can’t you see that??” In his frustration, Akechi raised his voice, nearly shouting at Mifune. Although she didn’t flinch, he could feel that he was in danger of scaring her.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, closing his eyes and taking a few careful breaths. “I didn’t mean to get so loud.”

“You’re very hard on yourself,” she tutted. “The Phantom Thieves have proven over and over that hearts can be changed; people who have done unspeakable things will can atone and redeem their ways.”

“You don’t  _ understand.  _ You don’t understand at all... my situation is far worse than anything you’ve described.” Akechi ran his hands through his hair, pulling it taut in his frustration. “I truly  _ am  _ monstrous. It doesn’t matter that I feel remorse now. Nothing will change what I am.” 

Mifune tilted her head, frowning in concern. “Akechi-kun, why would you say such things?”

“Because I  _ enjoyed  _ it! Don’t you see?? When I did all those terrible things, it felt incredible! Amazing! I felt more alive than I ever had.  _ That’s _ why Loki chose me to be a vessel for his power. Not because I was cunning or clever or brave or any of that bullshit. I’m a monster inside, and he knew it.” Akechi realized he was shaking and sweating. He’d never admitted any of this, not even to himself, and now he was spewing his most secret truths at a near-stranger. 

This time, Mifune did blanch, but she did not draw away. In a quiet, sad voice, she said, “Amamiya-kun told me that you suffered greatly the last few years. Is that also true?”

“Yes,” he whispered. “I was punished often.”

“That is what abusers do,” she said, nodding. “They mete out pain  _ and  _ pleasure. Everyone has darkness within them. Everyone. Some have more than others, but it is part of the human condition. It sounds as though this being inside you fed that darkness as a way to control you. But even if he did not, even if every bit of that darkness was yours alone, it doesn’t matter. Amamiya-kun freed you from this burden, no? You control your actions now. You can choose to feed that darkness or starve it.” 

Akechi could only laugh in weak disbelief. “Mifune-san, I --” He winced, squeezing his eyes shut so he could force out the next few words. “I  _ killed  _ people, and you’re acting like I should just turn over a new leaf. It doesn’t matter how much I suffered; it doesn’t atone for what I did. I deserve to be thrown in jail for the rest of my rotten life, and now I won’t even get the chance to do that. I shouldn’t even be  _ alive,  _ I should just finish mys--”

“Goro Akechi, stop talking this instant!” Mifune’s voice was as sharp and loud as a slap to the face. She stood up to her full height, a crease on her brow. “You are alive because Amamiya-kun  _ needs  _ you.”

Akechi blinked at her in shock.

Her face softened the tiniest bit. “You’ve been given a great gift, Akechi-kun: a second chance. Don’t squander it on self-loathing.” She paused, as if she was at a loss. Finally she said, “Enjoy your lunch,” bowed, and left.

Dumbfounded, Akechi watched as she let herself out. It was hard to know what he was feeling. 

The problem was that Mifune was too good, too sweet. She obviously hadn’t believed Akechi when he said he had enjoyed the terrible things he’d done, otherwise she wouldn’t have brought up his suffering, as if the two things cancelled each other out.

A small part of him wanted to believe that she was right, that it really was that simple. That he could just dedicate himself to being a better person. 

Then he remembered the rush of power he’d felt less than a week before, ripping the shadows in Shido’s palace to shreds. It was harder to access that sense of elation now, as if he was looking at it through a hazy pane of glass, or touching it with gloves on. 

Now that he had some distance he could tell that it didn’t feel as good as he remembered. Or rather, it had felt good, but in the way that eating nothing but candy for dinner felt good, or cheating on a test and getting away with it felt good. There was an addictive rush of pleasure, but ultimately no satisfaction. He was always left craving more. Had that craving come from within him, or was it imposed by Loki?

Loki never referred to the pain as a punishment, but a reminder that Akechi should not give into his own weakness or remorse. Akechi eventually found it easier just to avoid thinking or feeling anything that Loki would take exception to. Perhaps that had been the true punishment.

But that didn’t mean Akechi should get off scot-free, or that he deserved forgiveness. That wasn’t how it worked. Mifune was wrong. 

And not only about that. She said that he was alive because Ren needed him, but that wasn’t really true either, was it? If the Phantom Thieves succeeded in stealing Shido’s heart, he would confess everything himself. Akechi’s testimony would be moot. 

Akechi was alive as insurance if something went wrong, nothing more. Ren had even said as much, the day Akechi met with the twins. In fact, Ren had dropped hints all along that he was always two steps ahead. Akechi had just been too blinded by his own ego and emotions to see it. 

He could still barely comprehend the complexity of Ren’s plan. It was intricate as the finest lace; Akechi was merely one of the threads. For all of Akechi’s self-professed brilliance, there was no way he would ever measure up to Ren. He’d been foolish to even try, that was obvious now. Ren had been on to him from the very start. 

At least he’d never been cruel about it. The times they had -- when they.... Akechi couldn’t bring himself to label their physical encounters. ‘Had sex’ sounded too clinical, while ‘mated’ sounded too mindless. ‘Made love’ made Akechi’s stomach twist so hard he gasped, so that was right out. 

Whatever he called it, Ren had always been respectful and courteous, careful almost in the extreme about consent. And he seemed to enjoy it, which was some small consolation. Akechi felt so pathetic and small, but at least Ren found him physically attractive. That was something, anyway. 

Really, it could have been so much worse. Ren was too good to truly take advantage of him, doing only the barest minimum to ensure that Akechi would get attached. Like making that stupid nest out of cheap towels. Or having that chicken delivered after... after....

Akechi found he was weeping again. He wiped his eyes, sighing in resignation. At least he was crying for himself this time, and not because he saw an old dog in a fast food commercial like yesterday.

Ever since he’d woken up with a cavernous silence in his mind, Akechi’s emotions had run amok. It wasn’t just the laughter and tears that sprang out of nowhere, but a seemingly unending supply of remorse and guilt and shame, everything he’d stowed away in the past two years and more. It burbled up from every hidden crack in his mind like a burst sewer pipe, slowly flooding him with sludge. 

Well, Mifune was right about one thing. Even if she was wrong about the reason, Ren had saved his life. And what had Akechi done this whole time but try and make the muck of self-loathing into sand castles? It never occurred to Akechi that he could do anything else but wallow in it. 

In just a few minutes, Mifune had not only destroyed what Akechi had built, she’d handed him a mop and bucket and told him to get to work cleaning it up.

No doubt Sakamoto would say “she tore you a new one, bro.” Still crying a little, Akechi chuckled at the thought. 

He reached for his phone, struck by a sudden urge to text it to the Phantom Thieves group chat. Akechi was even smiling weakly to think of what zinger Futaba would come up with, and how Yusuke wouldn’t understand the joke, and Makoto would remind everyone that they should be studying, and --

Then he realized what he was doing. He turned the phone off and put it aside. They weren’t his friends. They had never been his friends, and they never would be. 

Maybe it didn’t matter. Maybe none of it mattered. Not that he was about to stop hating himself, or cease being lonely. But he could hate himself and still do good things, perform right actions. Going to jail or killing himself would have only served his own selfish purposes, making him feel as though his crimes were absolved but bringing nothing useful or good into the world. He’d just have to find other ways to atone. 

As for the loneliness, that was nothing new, right? Akechi had never had friends; why should that change now?

Sniffling, Akechi picked up the game controller and turned the television back on. He guided the ball on the screen, wadding up thumbtacks and chewing gum and mahjong tiles, letting the candy-colored images and saccharine music carry away his tears, and then his emotions, and then his thoughts, till it was quiet again. For now, that was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _I totally cry at the old dogs in commercials_


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coffee and curry, and confessions.

“Kaoru-kun, it’s really great of you to loan these to me,” Akechi said as Iwai’s son dropped off yet another towering stack of manga. He’d barely made it through a quarter of the issues Kaoru had already loaned him; at this rate he’d never finish.

“I’m glad to help,” Kaoru mumbled. “I mean you’re stuck here and stuff.”

Kaoru-kun was an odd person, or at least, Akechi had a difficult time drawing a bead on him. He was always very polite, not to mention more than generous with his library. Yet Akechi had the faint impression that Kaoru didn’t like him very much.

But then again, if Kaoru was a fan of the Phantom Thieves, perhaps that made sense. Normally Akechi wouldn’t care so much if a single pre-teen didn’t take a liking to him. But normally he wasn’t holed up by himself in an apartment, slowly being eaten alive by loneliness.

Akechi couldn’t seem to stop trying to ingratiate himself to Kaoru. “You wouldn’t happen to have any Arsene Lupin, would you?” Akechi asked casually.

“Lupin III? Nah, that’s kinda....” He scrunched his nose in distaste. “Not my thing.”

“No, I mean Arsene Lupin, the Adventurer, by Takashi Morita. I hear that Amamiya-kun is a big fan.” 

“Is he really?” Kaoru perked up. “I didn’t know that!”

“I’m pretty positive,” Akechi nodded. Really it was just a hunch, but Kaoru-kun didn’t need to know that. 

Kaoru had already pulled out his phone to look it up. “Aw, it looks so cool!”

“Amamiya-kun speaks French, you know,” Akechi said, happy to have caught Kauro’s attention at last. “I bet that’s why he likes it.”

“Wow, really??” Kaoru looked star-struck. “That’s amazing!” Then his expression hardened into suspicion. “How come you know all this?”

Akechi tried to maintain his smile through the sudden ache in his chest. “He -- he told me. We used to hang out a lot, before.... Um, in the summer, mainly.”

Kaoru continued to squint at him. “But this summer you were always talking about how much you hated the Phantom Thieves.”

Akechi’s smile dimmed. “I know. I... made some mistakes.” It was harder to say than he thought it would be, given that he’d done nothing but think about those mistakes over the last week. 

Tilting his head, Kaoru crossed his arms. “Were you dating?”

“What?? No!” Akechi flushed, squirming on the couch. “We were just... friends.” The lie tasted sour and sharp in his mouth; Akechi made a face. “Sort of.”

“Huh. Welllll... I promised him I’d help you, so I’ll take a look around the shops,” Kaoru nodded, clearly trying not to sound too eager. 

Akechi gave him some money before he left. All in all, he felt pretty good. Coaxing a friendly interaction out of Kaoru made him feel like himself again. At least, it did for a few minutes, until the silence in the apartment drew around him like fog, heavy and close. 

It was much easier to think than it had been after he first woke up. On the whole, that was a good thing. But in this case it was just that much easier for Akechi to see how pathetic it was that he had to bribe his way into a conversation with Kaoru by using trivia about Ren. 

Loneliness started to envelop him. Quickly, Akechi turned on the television to provide background noise. It only helped a little, but a little was better than nothing.

It wasn’t as if his caretakers weren’t polite and cordial. Takemi in particular had a dry wit that Akechi appreciated, and Iwai’s no-nonsense, cut-the-crap demeanor was refreshing. But aside from asking what he needed and treating his wounds, they didn’t stick around much longer than necessary. Akechi didn’t feel like a pariah, exactly; he got the impression that everyone was busy. He simply wasn’t a priority in their lives. 

Akechi huffed and struggled to his feet, intending to fix himself some tea. How pathetic was it that he couldn’t even handle not being the center of attention for a week? Ridiculous. 

Of course, there was more to it than that. It wasn’t just that he was lonely in general; Akechi had been lonely ever since his mother died. It was as normal as breathing. The problem was that Akechi missed Ren, specifically. Not just a little, either. It was a sharp, stabbing longing that he could feel in his chest whenever he was careless enough to let his guard down. It was much more tolerable to wrap himself in his loneliness like a cloak. It took the sting out of his pining, diffused it, and thus made it easier to bear. 

This worked tolerably well until the following day, when Sojiro came by with coffee and curry.

Akechi blinked rapidly as he sat up on the couch. The scent of it was overwhelming, bringing to mind many things which he’d avoided thinking about. “That smells delicious,” he said.

Sojiro grunted in begrudging acknowledgement, setting the bag on the table. By his body language, it was clear he’d rather be anywhere else. “You need anything else? I gotta get back to the shop.”

“No thank you,” Akechi said. “Thank you for the meal.”

Sojiro nodded. “Well, I guess that’s it then.” He turned to go.

“Wait, please,” Akechi said. “Is... is he well?” 

Sojiro looked over his shoulder. “He’s fine.” The words were clipped as short as they could be. “For now.”  _ No thanks to you  _ was heavily implied.

Akechi knew he should let Sojiro leave, but he couldn’t bear the thought of severing the tie to Ren, however tenuous it was. “I never thanked you properly for letting me stay at Leblanc,” he said.

Sojiro turned around so that he could scowl at him properly. “I didn’t know you were there,” he said pointedly. “Frankly, I never would’ve allowed it, not after all the shit you talked about the Phantom Thieves.”

Flinching back, Akechi averted his gaze. “Of course. You’re absolutely right. I don’t deserve --” He cleared his throat, unable to finish the thought. 

With a sigh, Sojiro rubbed the back of his neck. “But... he did say you saved them in the end, so I guess that counts for something.”

“Ren mentioned me??”

Sojiro raised an eyebrow. “Of course he did. Why else would I have come all this way?”

Flushing, Akechi mumbled, “Oh. Right.” That wasn’t what he meant at all. It wasn’t that he wanted Ren to mention him -- he hoped that despite everything, Ren would  _ care. _ Not just about his wellbeing or his ability to testify against Shido, but as.... 

Akechi forced himself to think about something else. He was being ridiculous. 

“Anyway,” Sojiro grumbled vaguely. “He made all this himself, so....” 

“He -- cooked? For  _ me?” _ Akechi felt his eyes sting. Of all the times to become emotional, this was the worst. “Please express my sincerest gratitude.”

Sojiro snorted. “Yeah, that’s not happening,” he said. “You’ve got a phone; thank him yourself.” And with that, he turned and let himself out, grumbling to himself about  _ kids these days. _

Akechi sat on the couch, blinking like an idiot. Text Ren? Sojiro couldn’t have been serious. Akechi had tried to kill him. He was only alive as an insurance policy. 

Then again, Sojiro said Ren made all the food and the coffee. The scent was making his mouth water, so Akechi hobbled over to the table. 

He poured himself a coffee from the thermos. Taking a sip, he groaned at how good it was; dark and rich and smooth, just a hint of bitterness softened by cream. Exactly how Akechi liked it. 

There was enough curry for several meals. The food was somehow even more perfect than the coffee, which shouldn’t have been possible. He ate a generous portion and almost went back for seconds, but then he decided it would be better to save it, so he could enjoy it longer. 

The fact that he was sniffling and his eyes were watering was only because it was spicy, no other reason. 

For the rest of the afternoon, Akechi kept his phone at his fingertips. He toyed with it idly as he watched television, even going so far as to keep it in his hand while he read manga later on. A few times, he opened his messenger app and closed it again.

By sundown, Akechi decided he was being silly. Ren obviously didn’t hate him or he wouldn’t have made the coffee and curry. But it wasn’t hatred that Akechi was scared of; it was indifference. 

Over and over, he pictured how it would go. He would text Ren to thank him for the meal, Ren would text something polite back, and that would be it. But the idea of hearing  _ it’s no problem at all  _ from Ren, when his own heart was cracked into a million pieces, seemed too hard to bear. He didn’t want confirmation that there were no hard feelings, that Akechi had played his part and Ren had moved on, even though Akechi knew that was probably the truth.

In the end, it was the desire to be polite that prompted Akechi to open a text again.  _ Thank you for the meal. It was quite delicious.  _ He hesitated. Should he add more? ‘I hope you are well’, perhaps? No, that would be too needy, as if he was begging for more of Ren’s attention. 

Akechi hit send, his breath coming out in a whoosh. His heart was pounding, too. It would have been funny if it was happening to someone else. 

In his hand, the phone vibrated. With a gasp, Akechi fumbled to open the message, thinking it was a reply.

**⚠ _Message not delivered_ ⚠**

Akechi blinked, not quite comprehending at first. Then his stomach went into freefall.

Ren had blocked his number. 

Akechi’s face scrunched up as he willed himself not to cry. Of course. Of course Ren had blocked him. Sojiro couldn’t have known -- it wasn’t the kind of thing you’d announce. 

Forcing himself to take a few shaky breaths, Akechi swallowed hard. He stared at the error message. 

Without really thinking, he typed out another message to Ren.  _ Ah, I see you were wise enough to block me. Of course, I perfectly understand. You always did have the upper hand, after all. Always two steps ahead of me, right from the start. _

He hit send. Almost instantaneously, another error popped up.

**⚠ _Message not delivered_ ⚠**

Since Ren would never see these messages, Akechi continued.  _ I hope someday I get the chance to thank you for saving me. I know you only did it so that I would testify, and I understand that too.  _ Send.

By now his eyes had filled with tears, making it hard to see the screen. But he couldn’t seem to stop himself from typing.  _ Also, I’m sorry. I know that’s a worthless thing to say, but I’m a worthless sociopath, so par for the course, right? I’m lucky that you are so  _

His hand slipped, sending the message too soon. Akechi just kept going.  _ so good and kind. you could have been so cruel and I would have deserved every bit of it. but you weren’t. thank you for that. I know you’ll never forgive me, and I don’t deserve it.  _

He set the phone down, only to pick it up a second later.  _ since I’m confessing, I’ll say that when we were at LeBlanc, I wanted your bite. I wanted it more than anything. I still want it. and you’ll never know that, I guess. probably for the best. thank you for the time we did spend together. I wish we could go to Jazz Jin again though. but that’s me being greedy.  _

The error messages continued to pile up, angry red lines of text punctuating his screen, each a reminder that Ren didn’t want to talk to him, ever again.

_ I know I should stop messaging you now, even though you’ll never see these. I just miss you so much it hurts.  _

With that, Akechi forced himself to put the phone away. It needed charging anyway, so he plugged it in across the room, out of easy reach. He settled back on the couch. Since it was dark out, he decided to put on Midnight Diner. It was a nighttime kind of show, and watching all the lonely characters was a kind of comfort. He even liked the cooking lessons at the end. Maybe after all this was over, he’d learn to cook too. Not curry though. 

After a few episodes, he dozed off. By now this happened so often that it no longer felt like a treat to wake up on the couch. It was just the new normal.

What was not at all normal, though, was being woken up by soft, persistent knocking on the door. 

At once, Akechi’s heart began to thud with fear. He had no idea what time it was, but none of his normal visitors would dream of coming by this late. And most of them only knocked once or twice before letting themselves in. 

Had Sojiro’s men found him? There was nothing Akechi could do but stay as silent as possible and hope whoever it was left without trying the door, which was unlocked. 

“Goro, it’s me.” Though the voice was quiet, it was unmistakably Ren.

Akechi’s heart leapt in his chest. “Wh- Ren??” What the hell was he doing here?  “It- it’s open.”   


The door swung wide, revealing Ren’s silhouette. He paused on the doorstep. “You were sleeping?”

Akechi nodded, trying to shade his eyes against the glare from the hall light. “What time is it?” He clicked on the lamp next to the couch.

“Just after 11:00.” Ren was looking at him funny. “Didn’t you get my texts?”

“Huh, I --” Akechi pointed vaguely at his phone, plugged in on the counter by the door. Then his stomach fell five stories. “Wait -- you- you blocked me. You can’t text me.”

Ren’s lips twitched. “I was in Mementos. Just off the network for a bit.”

Akechi stared at him in horror. “So you -- you.... No. No, nonononoooo....” He picked up a pillow and shoved it over his own face. He couldn’t stand it, knowing that all the messages he’d sent actually went through.

Laughing, Ren came in all the way and closed the door. He sat on the edge of the couch. 

“Why are you here?” Goro groaned into the pillow. He knew what he wanted the answer to be, even though it was impossible. Surely, Ren was there to let him down easy.

Ren snorted. “I thought you were like, smart or something.” Gently, he pulled the pillow away from Goro. His expression was gentle, with just the faintest hint of a playful, sarcastic smile. 

It felt like Akechi was seeing Ren for the very first time. In a way, he was; without Loki crowding his mind, Akechi was free to truly engage with his own reactions. And there was a lot to react to; at the moment, Ren was breathtaking. 

“You must think I’ve lost my mind. I was positive you blocked me. I never would have sent them if I thought you would ever see them.” Akechi frowned at the hem of the blanket, toying with the threads along the frayed edge. 

“I’m glad you did. But there’s a lot you don’t know,” Ren began to say. It sounded rehearsed.

“Please don’t. You don’t have to let me down easy,” Akechi said. “I understand how it is.”

“No, you really,  _ really  _ don’t.” Ren swallowed hard. “Have you noticed any memory problems lately?”

A chill skittered along Akechi’s skin. “How did you know?”

Nodding, Ren said, “Okay, so, how do I put this. There’s this part of Mementos where the Phantom Thieves go to train....”

Over the next ten minutes, everything Akechi thought he knew about the last few weeks was called into question. “Wait, so you’re telling me this entire plan was mine all along??”

“Aside from me finding you on your heat and taking you back to Leblanc, yeah.” 

Akechi was dumbfounded, but also weirdly gratified at the same time. “Wait, does that mean that....” He swallowed hard as his mouth suddenly went dry. “Does that mean that your ringtone, and that crossed-out note in your journal... you didn’t put those there to trick me?”

Ren shook his head. “Is that what you thought?”

Akechi nodded, slightly dazed. “I thought... the rest of the plan was so elaborate, I thought you simply added those in to make me... so that I would....”

“Never. I would never do that, Goro.”

Akechi’s heart was doing all sorts of weird swoops and thuds. “Of course not. You’re too good,” he murmured. 

“You really think so, huh?” 

“I  _ know  _ so. You’ve done more good for people than I could ever hope to do. And I never even  _ tried  _ to do good for others, only for myself. Ren, you saved me from Loki, but I’m still a terrible person. You deserve someone who --”

“Don’t.” Ren almost never interrupted anyone; Akechi went silent at once.

Ren sighed in embarrassment, running his hands through his hair, purposely mussing it. “You said once we had a strange connection.”

“Did I?” Akechi pretended not to remember.

Ren shot him an accusing glance.

“Sorry,” Akechi mumbled.

“Look, here’s the thing. I --” He froze mid-sentence, exhaling hard a moment later. “This is hard to say. I know you think you’re a monster. You -- you made it very clear in Mementos,” he said with a wince. “But the only difference between you and me is that I had Morgana and Igor and the twins helping me. And Ryuji too. If they hadn’t been there, I would’ve ripped Kamoshida’s shadow to shreds in that first palace. And not because of what he did to Suzui-chan. I’d’ve done it before I knew about any of that, just because of how he looked at me. Like I was trash.” 

Ren stared at his hands as they rested palm up in his lap. His fingers twitched. “For a while after I was arrested, I couldn’t remember if I’d attacked Shido or not. In the moment, I wanted to so badly, I could picture it. And then everyone around me talking like I’d really done it, treating me like... like some kind of animal or something....” He shook his head, his hair falling in front of his eyes. “If I had come across Loki in Kamoshida’s palace, I would’ve done exactly the same kind of shit you did. The only reason I didn’t is because I had people helping me. So, no. I don’t think you’re a monster. Or if you are, then we both are. But we don’t have to be.” 

Akechi was trembling again. It didn’t feel real, but he was sure he wasn't dreaming. “I killed Haru’s father, and Futaba’s mother,” he said, voice shaking. “You wouldn’t have done that.”

“Only because I knew what I was doing. If you knew how to steal hearts, would you have done any of those things? Or would you have stolen your father’s heart two years ago, back when he was weaker? He would have confessed to everything. He probably would have acknowledged you.” Ren paused. “He still might.”

Akechi grimaced, remembering how good it felt when Shido had squeezed his shoulder after he thought Ren died. “Loki never told me it was possible.”

“I know,” Ren said. “That’s my point. He  _ didn’t _ tell you because then it would have all been over and you wouldn’t have needed him anymore.” He played with his hair again. “I never had him inside my head, but some of the other personas are pushy as hell. I know how it feels.” 

Ren shuddered and suddenly got up to pace, as if to shake off the memory. “Anyway, I --” He stopped short, his attention caught by the towering stack of manga. “Oh wow, you’ve got The Adventurer!” He grabbed the book off the top of the pile. “I didn’t know you were a fan!”

“Um, actually....” Akechi cleared his throat. “I asked Kaoru-kun to track them down for me. I told him you liked them.”

“How did you know?” Ren didn’t look up from the book. 

“Just a hunch. Morgana said once that your real persona was Arsene Lupin. And, um, no offense, but your Joker outfit rather gave it away?”

Ren looked up, a mischievous gleam in his eye. “What’s wrong with my outfit?”

“Nothing, if you like melodramatic overcoats.”

“Says the guy who looks like a marching band leader,” Ren scoffed, rolling his eyes. “What does that have to do with Robin Hood, anyway? How come you weren’t in green tights and a tunic, with one of those pointy hats?” He mimed shooting a bow and arrow. “At least Arsene has a top hat like in the comics.”

Akechi burst out laughing. “Your persona has a  _ top hat?”  _

“Hell yeah. Super tall,” Ren said proudly, stretching his hand way over his head. “And high-heeled boots with knives on ‘em.”

“Ah yes, so much more dignified than epaulets,” Akechi snorted. 

For a second they both stared at each other, both of them desperately trying not to break into grins. 

_ This. This is what I missed,  _ Akechi thought to himself. “I still can’t believe you’re here,” he said aloud.

“When you didn’t answer my texts I thought maybe something was wrong, like you fell or something,” Ren admitted, sitting back down. “I was, y’know. Trying to give you space. I didn’t think you... I thought maybe you didn’t want to talk to me after everything, since you didn’t remember all of the stuff that happened. You were pretty mad.”

“I suppose I was, at that,” Akechi sighed. 

“But not anymore?”

“Not even a little.” Akechi paused. “I want the opposite of space.”

“Yeah, I got your texts,” Ren smirked.

“Ugh, I hate you so much,” Akechi grunted, hitting him with a pillow, unable to keep himself from grinning.

Ren melodramatically toppled from the chair, slumping to the ground. He pulled himself up to his knees next to the couch. “You are a  _ terrible  _ liar, by the way,” he said. Suddenly he was very, very close.

Akechi’s grin slipped as his pulse picked up. “I am not,” he said, glancing at Ren’s lips. “You’ve got insider information, an unfair advantage. That doesn’t count.”

“Maybe I’ll give you that,” Ren said, leaning even closer, close enough that Akechi could feel his breath. 

“Is that all you'll give me?” Akechi’s lips ghosted along Ren’s jawline.

Kissing Ren was every bit as incredible as Akechi remembered. This one started slow, almost tentative, as if each of them were somehow afraid the other was about to disappear. But it took very little time for their desperation to grow.

It escalated a bit too fast, as it turned out. In his greed to draw Ren closer, Akechi reached up with one hand. The motion put a strain on his still-healing ribs, stabbing him with pain. Gasping, he clutched his chest and fell back to his pillows. 

“Oh shit, are you okay?” Ren hovered over him, flustered.

“Fine,” Akechi rasped, drawing shallow breaths. “It’s my rib. I can’t twist like that.”

“What can I do?”

“Nothing. Actually, wait, you can hand me those,” Akechi said, pointing at the pain meds.

Ren grabbed the bottle and fetched a fresh glass of water. “Sorry,” he said. 

“Not your fault,” Akechi said automatically, chasing the pills with water.

Ren coughed. “Well, I mean, it is, kinda? I mean I did, you know, call the immortal spirit of Odin All-father to beat your ass.”

Akechi spluttered his water, choking slightly. “Fair enough. But apparently I’m the one that told you to do it, so I think we’re even.” He paused. “Will my memories return?”

“We need to see the twins again, but yeah, I think so,” Ren said. “Probably too risky for you to go to Mementos though. Maybe I can try and drag them up here tomorrow, though who knows how much they’re gonna charge me for  _ that.”  _

The mention of money jogged a thought. “Hang on -- who’s paying for all this?” Akechi waved, taking in the whole apartment. “I assumed it was Sae-san, but protective witness funding reimbursements usually take a few weeks to work through the system.”

“Oh, I’m covering it,” Ren said, like it was nothing.

_ “What??” _ Akechi was so upset he tried to sit up again, wincing as he put too much pressure on his rib. “That’s ridiculous! You’re just a student!” 

“So are you,” Ren said pointedly. “Anyway most of it was covered when you, uh, dropped your sword in that last fight. Kinda... helped myself to it? Got a good price. And the rest, I mean... you know I’ve got like a million yen saved up, right?”

Akechi’s eyes went wide. “What, really?” 

Ren shrugged. “It’s in the PT account. For weapons and supplies and such. Mementos is full of stuff to sell. Iwai’s making bank off all the crap I bring in.”

Frowning, Akechi settled back on the couch. “I can’t imagine Haru and Futaba would be happy to know you’re using the funds to support me. Do they even know you’re here?”

“Of course they do,” Ren said quietly. “Look, I’m not saying Haru’s gonna invite you to her birthday party anytime soon, and Futaba... well, I mean, she’s pretty hurt too. They might never want to be best friends, and they might never forgive you totally, but they don’t hate you or want you to die. They know how you’ve suffered. We’ve all been pawns at one point or another. We know what it’s like.”

Akechi didn’t know what to say to that. There was a point in his life -- only a few weeks ago, in fact -- when he would’ve wanted to slap Ren for even suggesting he was a mere pawn. But it was true; for all of Akechi’s fear and rage that Ren had used him, it had been Loki and Shido who were taking advantage of him the whole time. What an utter fool he’d been.

Ren narrowed his eyes as he stared off into space. “Pawns. All of us. I feel like... it’s not over yet. I can’t put my finger on it, but I feel like something’s going to happen. Something big.”

Akechi could almost feel the edges of it, too. Or maybe he was just overwhelmed by the fact that Ren was there, not hating him, or blaming him. Ren was there because he wanted to be. Truly, it felt like a miracle. 

And Akechi wasn’t above milking it for all it was worth. “Well, we’ve got seven days before the election,” Akechi said. “No, six now, it’s after midnight.”

“What??” Ren scrambled for his phone, checking the time. “I missed the last train!”

“Oh, hm, what a shame,” Akechi said mildly. He sipped his water, looking everywhere but at Ren. “I guess you’ll just have to stay here tonight, what a disaster. I suppose it’s lucky you don’t have classes tomorrow.”

“Did you -- did you distract me on  _ purpose??”  _ Ren’s eyes narrowed.

“Who, me? I would never,” Akechi said, his voice bland. “Are you tired? I was just thinking a snack might be welcome.”

Ren continued to stare at him, an incredulous grin blooming on his face. Then he shut his mouth with an audible ‘clop’. “Yeah actually, I’m pretty hungry.” He began to rummage around in the tiny fridge.

Akechi watched him from the couch, a faint smile playing around his lips. He couldn’t remember ever feeling this content, at least, not since his mother died. Of course, he knew he didn’t deserve even a second of this happiness; surely it would be ripped away from him again. But for now, he was glad to bask in the moment, fully and sincerely, without having to crush it into bits and secret the crumbs into dark corners for safe keeping. 

“I could do fried rice or noodles, do you have a preference?” Ren looked over his shoulder.

Akechi shook his head. “Surprise me.”  _ You always do, _ he thought.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akechi gets his memories back.

For all that Akechi had done to engineer the situation so that Ren had to stay the night, actually sharing a bed turned out to be a challenge: Akechi could only lay in one position comfortably and the mattress was quite narrow. 

“Just take the bed and I’ll stay on the couch,” Akechi said. “You fought all evening and need the rest more than me.”

“Oh please, don’t pull that martyr bullshit,” Ren said with a laugh. “Come on, we can make it work. I sleep on top of milk crates.”

“I’m well aware,” Akechi said as Ren gently helped him to his feet. “In a drafty, dusty attic, if I recall correctly.”

“And with a cat that hogs the bed. Trust me, I’m a sleep contortionist extraordinaire.” 

“Oh, that’s right. Is Morgana waiting up for you? It’s not like you can text him.”

“Um... no, he’s fine,” Ren said evasively.

Akechi stopped hobbling and looked at him. “You told him you were planning to stay??”

“No! No, I just... mentioned it might be a possibility, is all,” Ren mumbled, shrugging innocently.

Akechi burst out laughing. Immediately, he clutched his side, tempering his laughter as his ribs ached. “And here I thought I was the clever one,” Akechi said.

“You are. Trust me.”

It turned out that they could fit if Akechi lay on his back with Ren curled next to him on his side. In fact it was quite cozy. For about five minutes. 

The problem was not lack of space, but an overabundance of libido. Every time Ren shifted his hips or nuzzled his nose in the crook of Akechi’s neck, Akechi felt his cock throb. He was injured, not impotent. 

“I suggest you stop moving or face the consequences,” Akechi murmured, his eyes resolutely closed.

Ren huffed, sending a puff of air into Akechi’s ear, which did absolutely nothing to quell his arousal. “Sorry,” he murmured. “I’ll hold still.”

There was a brief lull.

“You give up too easy,” Akechi said. 

Ren laughed for real. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he said. “Your ribs, remember?”

Akechi clucked his tongue. “Well then you’ll just have to be extra careful, won’t you?”

Ren snickered, but his hand strayed down to the tie on Akechi’s pajama bottoms, tugging the knot loose. His fingers slipped into the waistband, tentatively tickling along Akechi’s half-hard shaft.

Akechi gasped, then gave a weak groan when Ren’s fingers curled around him and began to stroke, gently, gently.

“Feels good,” Akechi whispered. He fumbled, reaching for Ren, trying to do the same. But he couldn't reach far enough, not without twisting.

“Here,” Ren said, “Let me --” He rolled on top, settling between Akechi’s legs, being careful not to put any weight on him. “Just lay back, okay?”

Akechi nodded, not sure what Ren was trying to do. That is, until he felt Ren’s cock sliding against his own. He gasped, then moaned as Ren wrapped a hand around both of them, squeezing just right.

“Nnnngh, that’s perfect,” Akechi sighed. 

“Fuck, it really is.” Ren flexed his hips; the motion made it feel as though he was stroking Akechi’s cock, slow and languorous. It was like heaven.

Akechi hadn’t so much as thought about touching himself since that night in the police station. After so long without any stimulation at all, the sensation was overwhelming. Within less than a minute he was panting, leaking and straining to keep himself from coming too soon.

“I’m not gonna last,” Ren grunted. “You feel too good.”

Akechi whimpered in what he hoped was encouragement. 

It was over shockingly fast, both of them too pent-up and desperate to drag it out. As soon as Akechi felt Ren’s shaft throb and pulse, he lost control and came as well. 

After, Ren leaned down to press their foreheads together. “Wow,” he whispered, breathing hard. “Sorry. Had all sorts of plans for how that would go.”

“Did you?” Akechi gave a breathless laugh. “And here I was thinking you wanted nothing to do with me.”

Ren exhaled, wincing with regret. “I wanted to come check on you from day one, but I was too chickenshit.” He rolled to his side, wrapping an arm around Akechi gently. 

“I certainly didn’t give you any indication that I wanted you to contact me,” Akechi said.

“No but, you did though? Kind of. Sometimes. You just don’t remember.” 

“Did I?” Akechi stared up at the dark ceiling, wondering what could have occurred. Ren had only told him the most basic facts. 

“Yeah, uh... I should probably warn you. When you do get your memory back, a lot of it is... um. Not so great. You went through some real shit; are you sure you want to relive it?”

“Are you seriously implying I would want to forget even a second of our time together?” Akechi blurted the question out without thinking, still a little fuzzy-minded from his orgasm. 

He hadn’t meant to say anything so heartfelt; his repartee with Ren was based on good-natured sarcasm and boasting, not raw emotion. In the pause that ensued, Akechi guessed that Ren was uncomfortable with such a confession.

But he was wrong. Ren gave a very quiet, almost broken sound, leaning over to kiss the breath out of him. 

It was as surprising as it was passionate, but Akechi wasn’t about to ask him to stop. At least, not until he realized he could taste the faintest trace of salt.

Akechi put a hand on Ren’s cheek; sure enough, it was wet. “What’s the matter?”

“Sorry, sorry,” Ren mumbled, burying his face in the crook of Akechi’s neck. “It’s just -- this has been really --” He made a sound of helpless frustration. “Not knowing whether you really meant anything you said or did. I know it wasn’t your fault but --”

Akechi swore under his breath. “Ren, I’m so sorry. God, how can you still stand me after all I’ve put you through? You deserve better.”

“It’s not about what I deserve,” Ren said quietly. “It’s never been about that. It’s about what I _want,_ and I’ve wanted you ever since you were a complete and total prick in that TV station.”

Akechi snorted. “I really was, wasn’t I? I could hear myself going on and on about Hegel, but I couldn’t seem to stop. Truly, you have excellent taste in men,” he drawled.

“And then you totally tried to invite yourself out with us. You know that’s what gave you away, right?” Ren rolled off the bed and fetched a washcloth from the bathroom. “You started talking about pancakes, but Morgana was the only one that mentioned them. Only people who’ve been to the metaverse can understand him, so you kinda gave yourself away.”

Akechi’s mouth fell open. “That’s what gave me away? _Pancakes??”_ With a groan, he covered his face in his hands.

Ren laughed and began wiping off Akechi’s stomach; they’d made a mess before. “Pancakes, Mr. Ace Detective. Anyway the day after that I got confirmation there was another metaverse user out there, someone like me, so I figured that meant someone with multiple personas. Didn’t take much to put the two things together.”

That was surprising. “Confirmation? By whom?”

“That Igor guy I mentioned. I think he’s the boss of the twins. Or something? He, uh... sometimes talks to me in a dream? Don’t you dare scoff, that’s like, the least weird thing about any of this bullshit and you know it.” Ren tossed the wash cloth aside and settled back in the bed. “That second day at the TV station, when you butted into our conversation... I dunno, I just felt like... like you were lonely. Like you and I had that in common, and I just....” Ren huffed. “Half the reason I kept taking the alpha-blockers is so that you’d think I was a beta and try to make a move. But I was also dying to claim you, even though I didn’t know you were an omega.”

“Oh my god, we really are so pathetic,” Akechi half-groaned, half-laughed. 

A silence fell then, but it wasn’t awkward. It was nice to lay there, being held, Akechi decided. He wondered if Ren might want to stay the night more often.

“There’s something you need to know,” Ren said quietly. “We weren’t fighting in Mementos today. We were preparing the calling card for Shido. Futaba’s working on it right now. It gets sent tomorrow.”

“I see,” Akechi said. It suddenly felt cold in the room; he shivered. “So you’ll face him....”

“Tomorrow. Or, well, today. I guess it’s already Sunday.”

“I guess it is.”

Akechi wasn’t sure either of them would be able to fall asleep with such a dire topic hanging in the air, but within just a few moments Ren’s breathing was deep and even. He must have been exhausted. 

For himself, he couldn’t imagine wasting even a second of this experience by falling asleep. Akechi knew full well that Ren and the others might not survive a fight with Shido. He shouldn’t even be alive, and here he was, being cradled in Ren’s arms, as if he was something precious, something worthy of being cherished. 

Part of him wanted to think that Ren was a fool to care for him at all. But he couldn’t quite muster the self-loathing required to make the thought stick. Instead, he resolved to stay awake as long as possible, fix the moment into his memory. Although Ren seemed confident he would get his memories back at some point, Akechi didn’t want to take any chances with this.

However, Akechi drastically overestimated his willpower, or underestimated his own fatigue. In either case, he fell asleep within a few moments, his hand clutching Ren’s sleeve, just in case. Even in sleep, he wasn’t willing to let this slip away.

* * *

The sun was just peeking through the window when Akechi awoke. But it wasn’t a gentle waking; heart pounding, he screamed “No!” as his body jerked in the narrow bed. Immediately, he wheezed in pain from the jolt to his ribs.

“Whazza?” Ren struggled to open his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

Akechi stared at him, his eyes wide with horror. “I punched you? You didn’t tell me I beat you up!”

“Huh?”

“I remember everything, I -- oh god, you claimed me?? You _claimed_ me, and I didn’t _remember???”_ His hand went to his neck, as if by some miracle there would be a scar. But there was nothing, only unbroken skin. “It’s gone....”

“Goro, calm down,” Ren said, sitting up. “What happened?”

“I dreamed about the twins, and you were there too, in a jail cell, and there was an old man with a desk, but you didn’t see me. And then you left and the twins were talking to me, and I asked for my memories -- oh my god, I can’t believe I --” He snapped his focus back to Ren. “How can you even stand to be around me, after what I did?”

Ren sighed and scrubbed his hands through his sleep-mussed hair. Grabbing his glasses, he shook his head. “I told you it wasn’t all good. I was hoping they could, like, give them back to you one at a time. That guy was Igor. I really was there just now; you must’ve gotten sucked in somehow. It’s called the Velvet Room.”

At any other time, the mechanics of the shared dream would have been a fascinating topic. But at the moment, Akechi was drowning in shame, remembering his very first encounter with Ren in the training ring, a few weeks before his heat.

The training had gone so well. Akechi had shown off his prowess in battle, exactly as he intended. The Phantom Thieves were suitably impressed, and more importantly, willing to rely on him in a fight while they infiltrated Sae-san’s palace. This was going to be easier than he thought.

But then the others left, and it was just him and Ren. Ren pulled out his phone, showing Akechi the post, from that stupid Phantom Thieves website.

It was a surprise, but Akechi recovered easily, scoffing that it was a lie. Ren of all people should understand the power of rumors within a high school. Completely baseless. 

Ren had tilted his head. “What if I were to tell you that I’m not a beta,” he said. “I’m actually an alpha. I take blockers to make the team more comfortable.” He drew his gloved thumb along his lower lip, wiping away some errant dust or sweat. A subtle waft of alpha musk followed, underscoring his words. 

The glimpse of Ren’s teeth and tongue, combined with his scent, had been Akechi’s undoing. It was late in the day; Akechi’s fake alpha pheromones had mostly worn off, especially with all the sweating he’d done during their training. Although his face remained expressionless, his pupils widened as he felt a gush of slick between his legs.

Ren’s nostrils flared, his eyebrow raised in an unasked question. 

Akechi was caught, and he knew it. Loki, of course, had been quick to offer a suggestion. **_It seems your wanton, needy body has betrayed you. Be a proper omega and give the alpha what he truly wants. Perhaps you can barter for his silence like a good whore._ **

He remembered wincing in distaste, not because he didn’t want Ren physically -- he did. Ohh, he did, very much. But not like this, not a dispassionate exchange, borne out of necessity. He wanted --

Even in his memory, Akechi felt himself halt the desire in its tracks. He took a step closer to Ren, sliding a hand up his chest. “For the sake of argument, what if I am an omega?” he purred, pitching his voice into a low, seductive murmur. “Perhaps this situation could work out for the both of us. Or is that what you had in mind all along?” 

Akechi had already resigned himself for what would follow, shunting away his shame and humiliation to various corners of his labyrinthine mind, ready to do whatever it took for his plans to succeed. 

What he did not expect was for Ren to leap away from him, his face curdled by confusion and disgust. “What the fuck?”

It was the disgust that shattered Akechi’s defenses. The shame that he’d so carefully pushed to the side came flooding back. He could feel his seductive expression collapse into mortification, his cheeks aflame. 

**_Have you given up so soon? Perhaps you could put your mouth to good use, since your words are ineffective._ ** Akechi’s head exploded in pain; he moaned and fell to his knees. 

He knew Loki wouldn’t relent unless he put in the effort to fix the situation. “Please,” Akechi rasped, reaching out a hand for Ren even as he squinted through the pain. “Please, I need it.” 

Ren continued to back away from him. “What’s gotten into you?”

“I -- I’m about to go on my heat,” Akechi said, grasping for a plausible reason for his behavior. The pain in his head continued to throb; he felt as though he might soon vomit. “Please, let me --” He shuffled forward on his knees.

“Something’s wrong,” Ren muttered. “This isn’t you at all.”

Akechi keened in pain. “What do you know of me?” he snarled, clutching his temples. 

**_Pathetic. It seems I must take matters in hand._ **

The tendrils of Loki’s will began to snake through Akechi’s mind. He groaned, knowing that Loki was going to take over his body, use him like a puppet. The trickster god had no real conception of the nuance of human emotion and desire; the idea that a person could be physically attracted and emotionally repulsed was foreign. Loki would get what he wanted, regardless of the consent of either party.

“Get out of here,” Akechi hissed. “Before I hurt you.”

“What?? Akechi, what’s going on? Are you injured?” Ren reached for him.

Akechi tried to bat his hand away, but Loki was almost in control. He clutched Ren’s forearm with an inhumanly strong grip. 

Ren frowned as he tried to tug his arm out of Akechi’s grasp. “Justine? Caroline? I could use a hand,” he called out, his voice sharp with fear.

The twins appeared. Akechi remembered being startled, letting go of Ren’s arm. Immediately, Justine covered her nose with her hand, while Caroline spluttered at Akechi, “What the -- oh no. _Absolutely not._ We don’t take to your kind stinking up the place.” 

With a glance at each other, the girls snapped their fingers at the same time. Instantly, the pain was gone from Akechi’s head. 

He sagged to his hands and knees, panting. “What... what happened? Where is he?”

“Gone for now. Inmate, why didn’t you tell us this one had such a stinky persona? It’s gonna take forever to clean this place up!” Caroline huffed, waving her hand in front of her face. “It’s not like we can just open a window y’know.”

“Yeah, so, anytime anyone wants to let me know what the _fuck_ just happened, that would be great,” Ren said. “Goro, are you okay?”

“Fine,” Akechi lied. The pain was gone, but the humiliation was acute. He was too exhausted to be able to think of a way out of the situation. “I don’t suppose you’d consider forgetting everything I just told you?”

“That can be arranged,” Justine said. 

Akechi’s head shot up. “What?” He looked at Ren for confirmation.

Ren shrugged. “They do it all the time with the others.” Still looking at Akechi, he said to the twins, “Can you give us a minute, please?”

The girls didn’t seem happy about it, but they disappeared a moment later.

Ren knelt down near Akechi, trying to put a hand on his shoulder. 

Akechi jerked away. “Don’t touch me,” he hissed automatically. 

With a heavy sigh, Ren pulled his hand back. “Are you really going into heat soon?”

It seemed pointless to deny it, especially if neither of them would remember. Still, there wasn’t any reason to admit it, either. He said nothing.

Ren sat back on his haunches. “I’ve heard those fake alpha drugs do a number on your cycle,” he said. “Are you going to need some time off?”

“Fuck you.”

Ren tilted his head to the side, his eyes gleaming. “Would that help?”

Akechi glared at him. “How _selfless_ you are, fearless leader. I’m sure you’d like nothing better than to knot me for my own good.” Probably the remark would’ve been more cutting if he wasn’t craving it so badly himself.

“Hell yes I would,” Ren said at once, apparently unashamed to admit it. “But this isn’t about me. It’s about you. What do _you_ need?”

“Oh spare me your benevolence,” Akechi grunted, heaving himself to his feet. He swayed a bit, but managed to keep his balance.

Ren rose as well. “You don’t get it. You’re on the team now, Ace Detective. You don’t have the luxury of keeping this kind of shit to yourself. If you collapse on your heat while we’re in the middle of battle, you put us all at risk. We don’t fight when Haru-chan is on her heat either. You’re not _special.”_

Suddenly Akechi felt very tired. “My heat’s the week after next. But you won’t remember.”

Ren tilted his head in acknowledgement. “Not exactly. It’s more like post-hypnotic suggestion. I won’t remember, but I’ll know not to schedule any missions. I just won’t know why.”

Akechi begrudgingly nodded. “Fine. Are we done?” He turned to go.

Ren caught his arm. “Do you have a safe place to ride it out?”

“That’s none of your business,” Akechi snapped. 

Ren didn’t let go, though his grip loosened. “You can come to Leblanc if you need to. Boss is a beta, and the coffee and curry will cover your scent. I’ll -- I’ll stay with Ryuji or something if you want.”

Akechi had stared at him in bewilderment. “Why are you doing this?”

Ren flinched, looking away. “I just... want you to be safe,” he mumbled, twisting a lock of his hair nervously.

It was touching, or rather, it would have been touching under completely different circumstances, between two entirely different people. “Ill be fine,” Akechi said. “I’m going to ride it out in a rest area here in Mementos.”

“Are you _insane??”_ Ren looked at him like he had five heads. “Goro, you can’t possibly --”

“Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do, _Joker.”_ Akechi stressed Ren’s code name. “Don’t interfere in my heat.”

Ren raised his chin. “I won’t.”

“Good. Then we’re done here.”

“No, please, wait --” 

But Akechi had already taken his first strides through the glowing blue doorway. 

Akechi remembered all of this in the space of a few heartbeats. Staring at Ren in consternation, he said, “You were supposed to forget. You _promised.”_

“I know,” Ren said. He shut his eyes. “I _did_ forget. Technically. But I -- When I showed you that post on the Phan-site, I was recording our conversation in another app. I listened to it later, and I remembered everything.”

Akechi swore under his breath. But there was no malice in his voice, only resignation. “You tricked me. You lied to me.”

“Yes,” Ren whispered. “I tricked you, and I lied to you, and I’d do it again.”

Akechi knew he should be angry. He _was_ angry, a little, but by the same token, it was almost a relief. If Ren could lie and break his promises, then perhaps he wasn’t the paragon of virtue Akechi thought he was. Perhaps they weren’t so different after all. It felt like Akechi finally had all the puzzle pieces in place and he could see the whole image. He sighed heavily; it wasn’t the prettiest picture of either of them, but it felt real, authentic.

Ren misunderstood the sigh, tensing up. “Do you want me to leave?” His voice was very, very quiet.

“What? No, don’t be stupid. Of course I don’t want you to _leave,”_ Akechi said. “It’s not like I wasn’t also lying to you from the start. And to myself. My whole _life_ is a lie.”

For a second he thought Ren would try to tell him he was wrong, or otherwise paper over the moment with platitudes. But instead Ren sighed heavily, stroking his thumb up and down Akechi’s arm. 

Of course, Ren certainly understood a little about living with a dual identity, about lying constantly just to get by, about losing yourself in the charade.

Goro still didn’t know who he was without Loki, or without the Ace Detective. But he did know one thing. “I’m tired of lying,” he said. 

“It’s exhausting,” Ren agreed. 

Goro wanted to say something, something about the future, about _their_ future, together, about how he wanted Ren with him as he figured out who he was and who he wanted to be. But the future was a black box; Ren still had to face Shido.

So instead, Goro murmured, “How long can you stay?”

“Till noon.”

“Well then, we should make the most of the time we have, wouldn’t you say?” Goro plucked at Ren’s elbow, a not-so-subtle invitation.

Ren rolled over, once again caging Goro’s body without putting any weight on him. “If you insist.” Even in the darkness, his sly grin was audible. 

“Oh, I do,” Goro breathed. “I absolutely do.”  
  
  
  



	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akechi still thinks he can be the hero. He's wrong.

Worrying was an unfamiliar experience for Akechi. Not to say that his confidence was so towering that he always felt self-assured: Akechi had been nervous in the past. But the twisting, churning restlessness which began a few moments after Ren left was completely new. 

Is this what it was like to care about someone? It wasn’t as bad as the dread which had consumed him in the run-up to Ren’s capture, but this new sensation was still supremely uncomfortable. Akechi couldn’t even pace properly. 

It was all the more maddening because Akechi didn’t even know what was going on between himself and Ren. Were they together now? It felt like they were, but neither of them had said anything to that effect. Ren had claimed him, but he’d done it when he knew that Akechi wouldn’t remember; maybe he never intended for the bite to take. Did it still count? 

Probably they should have talked about it. But that itself was a faintly terrifying prospect, and it was much easier to spend the morning pretending nothing was wrong and that Ren wasn’t about to face an impossibly strong foe in a few hours. 

Akechi had never seen Shido’s true form in the metaverse, but given the amount of _actual_ power he wielded in the real world, no doubt he would be the most formidable enemy the Phantom Thieves had faced. 

And Akechi couldn’t help. Even if he had been able to handle it physically -- which he couldn’t -- Akechi knew Ren would never invite him along. Akechi wasn’t a Phantom Thief, after all. He was just a teenager. An utterly useless teenager.

Akechi just had to trust in Ren and the Phantom Thieves. He took a deep breath and tried to think about something else. 

Easier said than done. The calling card was set to be delivered in just a few hours. Ren had been cagey about the details, but then again, Akechi hadn’t pried too hard. In an attempt to distract himself, Akechi tried to read, then he tried to play video games, but neither did much to interrupt the near-constant stream of worried thoughts. Finally he gave up and turned on the television, even though he knew at that time of day there wasn’t much of interest to watch. Maybe he could find a cooking show or something. 

But after just a few moments of clicking through the channels, the screen went to static. For a second Akechi was confused, changing to the next channel, and the next, but they were all the same. 

And then the Phantom Thieves logo came up on the screen. A disembodied voice said, “Yo, what is _up_ everybody?”

The voice was heavily manipulated, but the cadence was unmistakably Sakamoto’s. Akechi gaped at the screen, his mouth hanging open as he watched. 

_“This_ is the calling card?” he whispered to himself. “Holy shit.”

The message continued on. Each of the thieves spoke in turn, explaining the conspiracy against them. Akechi flicked through all the stations; the message was on every single channel. 

“Holy _shit,”_ he hissed again. Goosebumps broke out on his arms. How incredible was Futaba, to hack into every station at once??

Or perhaps not; just before they were about to name Shido, the transmission cut out into a test pattern. 

From outside, Akechi could hear shouting. Frantically, he limped over to the window, shoving it wide open and sticking his head out. 

He could just see a corner of the electronic screen on one of the shops a few streets over. Sure enough, it was also a test pattern. 

“It’s everywhere?” How was that even _possible?_

Simultaneously, the TV behind him and the electronic signboard came back to life. The message picked up where it had left off. A moment later, Shido’s official headshot stared out at all of Tokyo as the Phantom Thieves named him the true culprit.

Akechi shut the window and hobbled back to the couch. It was thrilling and terrifying and awe-inspiring all at the same time, watching as Ren -- masked as Joker -- stepped into the spotlight on screen, his grey eyes gleaming as he swore to take the country out of the hands of criminals. 

Outside, Akechi heard cheering. Laughing breathlessly, he wished he could join in. It was all so dramatic and inspiring. So _this_ is what Ren was doing yesterday in Mementos: recording a live-action calling card. How fitting. No doubt Shido was currently stewing in rage. 

The broadcast ended, cutting back to the programming of whatever channel Akechi had landed on. It must’ve been the news, though at the moment the shot was of an empty desk with a lot of voices raised off-screen. A frazzled-looking anchorman stumbled into the chair, a sheaf of papers in his hand as he began to try to respond coherently.

Akechi turned it off. He didn’t want to hear the analysis; it reminded him too much of all of his appearances in the last few months. No doubt his phone would be blowing up right now if anyone knew he was still alive. 

Amazingly, his phone buzzed just then. Akechi grinned as he saw a text from Ren. _what do you think?_

_Overly dramatic and flashy. I love it._

_Thought you might._

Akechi’s smile faded as he contemplated what the calling card truly meant. _Will you do it tonight?_

There was a pause, the ellipses on the screen glowing and dimming and glowing again. _yes_

_Be careful. I wish I could help._

_Not gonna lie, I wish you could too. We all miss you._

Akechi snorted. _YOU miss me. The others miss Megidolaon, I’m sure._ Robin Hood’s most powerful attack spell was nothing to be trifled with.

Ren responded: _po-TAY-to, po-TAH-to,_ and then a moment later: _also I learned Megidolaon. miss you anyway, Ace Detective._

Akechi’s eyes widened. When had Ren learned that spell? Just how powerful were the personas he had tucked away?? Perhaps Shido wouldn’t be as big of a challenge as Akechi feared. _You’re not allowed to miss me yet. You just saw me. Have some dignity._

_Don’t tell me what to do. ;) Have to go, but I’ll see you soon._

Akechi’s heart felt strange -- light and fluttery -- and he couldn’t seem to stop smiling, even after he put his phone away.

Alas, that good feeling dissipated all too soon, leaving Akechi to worry again. Intellectually, he knew there was nothing he could do to affect the situation. As such, worrying was futile. 

And yet, he couldn’t seem to stop. After two years of keeping his thoughts and emotions under rigid control, the fact that he couldn’t put a halt to the incessant fretting was infuriating. 

But that was different, wasn’t it? Back then, Akechi was only thinking about himself. Worrying about someone else was new. He kept picking up his phone, wishing he could send a message, then setting it down again. 

If only he could help! Granted, Akechi also wished he could be there to take Shido down for personal reasons. It would be incredible, not only to oppose his father openly, but to do so as a member of the Phantom Thieves... the poetic justice of it was striking. 

But in his current state, he could hardly swing a weapon. Though... would that matter in the metaverse? Would his injuries respond to healing there? After all, they could perform feats which would never be possible in the real world. Hell, Ren didn’t even need his glasses in the metaverse, despite being blind as a bat in the real world. And Akechi’s injuries had originated in the metaverse, making it even more likely they would respond to healing there.

It was an interesting distraction. He pulled out his laptop and began to review the trove of cognitive research he had saved over the years. It would be easy enough to test the theory -- in a few days, perhaps someone could help him hobble to a subway station so he could go to Mementos. Hadn’t there been a thesis on healing in the cognitive world a few years ago? Some grad student named Maruki or something?

As he delved into the research, it seemed more and more likely that he could speed up his healing process in the cognitive world. Fascinating! Akechi was so engrossed in reading that he failed to notice the sound of footsteps in the hallway. 

Someone knocked on the door. For an instant, his heart leapt -- Ren was back already? But that was impossible. It was way too early, for one thing. The calling card had only aired an hour ago. Given the size of Shido’s palace, Ren probably wasn’t even fighting yet. 

And the sound of the knock was all wrong -- too confident and loud. Ren knocked quietly, like he was afraid to rouse the neighbors. Akechi could see in the gap under the door that there were two sets of feet. 

A wash of cold fear swept over him. Shido’s men had finally tracked him down.

Akechi’s choices were very limited. Under normal circumstances, he would climb out the window. But that was impossible in his current state. And the door wasn’t even locked. 

His only hope was to bluff his way out of danger. Quickly, he grabbed his laptop again, frantically deleting all the documents he had open. Meanwhile, the feet in the hallway began to shift in impatience as another knock pounded on the door.

Fortune favors the bold, Akechi told himself. “It’s open,” he called out.

After a short pause, the door opened. Akechi kept his eyes trained on the laptop, as if he couldn’t be bothered to look up. In his peripheral vision, he saw two men in nondescript suits walk in and shut the door behind them. Definitely Shido’s men, then. They hovered nearby, seemingly thrown off by the fact he hadn’t looked up yet. 

“Did you bring food? I’m starving,” he said, as calmly as he could, his eyes still on the screen. In that few seconds, Akechi had done his best to wipe any mention of the metaverse off his laptop. It wasn’t as good as nuking the hard drive altogether, but it was as good as he could do under the circumstances. 

When there was no response, he looked up, feigning momentary confusion. Then he sighed heavily. _“Finally,”_ he grumbled, slapping his laptop shut. “Took you long enough. I assume Shido-san sent you?”

The two men glanced at each other; clearly, this was not how they expected Akechi to react. 

Akechi began to disentangle himself from the blanket on his lap. “Honestly, I’m almost embarrassed it took you so long to track me down; I left an obvious trail. Well, no matter. The time was well-spent; I was able to infiltrate the whole operation. They have no idea, of course -- hand me my crutches, will you?” 

It was all a bluff, but bluffing was all he had. 

Taken aback, the man with the blue tie handed over the crutches. “Er, you’re supposed to take us to the Phantom Thieves. They’re about to attack Shido-san.”

“Yes, I saw the calling card,” Akechi said, struggling to his feet. “But what do you expect me to do about it? I can’t even walk.” He casually knocked over a bottle of soda on the coffee table in the process. He wanted to make it clear to whoever came to check on him later and found him missing that there had been a struggle. 

“Watch it!” The man in the blue tie hopped out of the way of the spill. 

Gray Tie said, “ _You_ aren’t doing anything. You just need to bring us to them,” the man said. “We’ll take care of the rest.” He patted a tell-tale bulge on his ribcage.

Akechi froze for half a second. He had assumed Shido had ordered them to capture Akechi so that he could stop the Phantom Thieves himself. As far as Akechi knew, Shido had kept his activities in the metaverse a secret from almost everyone save the SIU Director. If that was still true, Akechi could simply bring these thugs to the wrong location, somewhere they wouldn’t be likely to harm him for fear of witnesses, and then stall for time. Shibuya station would be ideal; if he could manage to get enough distance between himself and the men, he could even slip into Mementos. 

But if they were going to attack the Phantom Thieves themselves, that was another matter altogether. It was possible that they knew nothing whatsoever about the metaverse, but it was equally possible that the Shido had told them out of desperation. If they _did_ know about the metaverse, they would also know about the phone app. Akechi was all too aware that he would only need to activate the app to get them into Shido’s palace; they could get out again using his phone whether he was alive or not.

Akechi’s momentary pause did not go unnoticed. “Something’s wrong,” Gray Tie said, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. “He’s working with them. Otherwise he would have been in contact.”

Akechi rolled his eyes. “My phone and laptop are both compromised,” he said. “How would I have sent any communication? Smoke signals, perhaps? Ham radio built out of hair pins and tin plates?” He began to hobble to the door, jostling the lamp shade askew for good measure, hoping his confidence could overcome their doubt. 

Whether they believed him or not, the men followed him out the door, close enough to grab him if need be. 

Not that Akechi was in any state to make a run for it. “I hope you pulled the car around to the back of the building,” Akechi said, keeping his voice casual. 

“Er, yeah,” Blue Tie said. 

Gray Tie grunted suspiciously. Apparently he wasn’t buying Akechi’s bluff, or at least, not yet. 

Akechi wasn’t sure it mattered either way, but he wasn’t about to drop the act, either. At least this way they weren’t restraining him. 

He wasn’t exactly a flight risk. Using the crutches for more than a few steps at a time was agony, as it put strain on his still-healing ribs. “I don’t suppose you brought a wheelchair, by any chance?” He grimaced in pain, breaking out into a cold sweat by the end of the hallway. “My ribs are broken, you know.”

“Stop stalling,” Gray Tie said, jabbing the button for the elevator.

“I think he’s telling the truth,” Blue Tie said. “Look how pale he is.”

Akechi rolled his eyes. “I assure you, I’m not faking. Why else do you think I’ve been stuck here?”

Gray Tie glanced at him and frowned. “You won’t need to walk much,” he said. 

Something in the way he said it made Akechi’s blood run cold. But he refused to let it show. With a faint snort, Akechi shook his head as he hobbled into the elevator. “You really think you can just waltz right in? You’ll need me to guide you, or you’ll never find the Phantom Thieves.” He deliberately avoided mentioning the word ‘palace’. If they said it first, it would confirm that they knew about the cognitive world.

Blue Tie began to look worried. “They didn’t say anything about that,” he said to Gray Tie. “What if --”

“Stick to the plan,” Gray Tie said, cutting him off. “And you’d better keep your mouth shut,” he said to Akechi. “Unless you want me to shut it for you.”

Akechi rolled his eyes and sighed, but said nothing. He’d hoped to get a little more information out of Blue Tie. There was still a chance that he would blurt something out; he seemed much more nervous than Gray Tie.

In any event, there was no question in his mind that the men were planning to kill him once he’d outlived his usefulness. Akechi was a loose end, and Shido hated those. 

As they made their way to the car, Akechi’s mind whirled, trying to come up with a plan. Probably he should have been scared. And it was true that he felt nervous, but it was the kind of nervousness that arose before a media appearance, or while he was on a mission. In fact it was almost a relief to feel useful again -- at the very least, he could keep these men away from the Phantom Thieves. Or die trying.

Gray Tie started the car. “Where are they?” He stared at Akechi in the rear-view mirror.

“What?”

“Don’t play dumb. Where are the Phantom Thieves?”

Akechi blinked. “You mean you don’t know?” 

“You’re the detective; why should we know where they are?” Blue Tie said. He still sounded nervous.

Akechi’s first instinct was to go with his original plan. If they did force him to enter the metaverse, certainly he’d have a better chance to lose his captors in the underground maze of Mementos than in the wide-open deck of Shido’s cruise ship. 

But Gray Tie was watching him too closely. Was it a test? If Akechi lied, and if they _did_ know the location of Shido’s palace, all his bluffing would go to waste. Blue Tie was getting close to doubting his mission, which was what Akechi wanted.

“They’re at the Diet building, of course. Where else?” Akechi scoffed, shaking his head. “I cannot believe they didn’t even tell you that much. Are you sure this isn’t a suicide mission? You seem woefully unprepared.”

“Shut up,” Gray Tie said, pulling the car out into traffic. “I’m not scared of a bunch of teenagers.”

“Oh no? Trust me when I say the Phantom Thieves are more powerful than you can possibly imagine. Why do you think I’ve spent all this time trying to infiltrate them? It’s the only way they can be defeated. They’re far too trusting. It was my plan to appear to sacrifice myself all along; Shido knows about the whole scheme. Oh, but perhaps you simply don’t have the security clearance to know about such things.”

Blue Tie licked his lips, glancing at Gray Tie. “Should we --”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Gray Tie said. “Not you too.”

“I’m just saying, we could call --”

“We’re not calling anyone. Just shut the fuck up, both of you.”

Akechi contented himself with sitting back and staying quiet for the remainder of the ride. Blue Tie fiddled with his phone, apparently cowed by his partner.

It gave Akechi time to think, which he sorely needed. But his thoughts went around and around and around. There were simply too many unknowns. Without more information, Akechi couldn’t hope to make a plan. 

Suddenly his phone pinged. Without thinking, he reached in his pocket and pulled it out. He only just managed to see the message preview from Ren -- _leaving now, wish me luck --_ when Blue Tie yanked the phone out of his hands. 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Blue Tie snorted. He glanced at the screen. “Aw, is this one your boyfriend, huh? Too bad.” He began to lower the window, clearly intending to throw the phone out of the car.

Akechi’s heart leapt in his chest; finally, he had all the answers he needed. Not only was Ren still en route, but the men clearly had no idea about the metaverse, or they never would have risked destroying Akechi’s phone. A new plan flashed into being in his mind, fully formed. 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Akechi said, in his most patronizing tone. “Unless you’d like to fail in your mission. I don’t think the Chief would take so kindly to hear you destroyed the key to Shido’s salvation by throwing it out the window.”

“What the fuck are you on about?” Gray Tie asked.

Akechi laughed, heaping his voice with scorn. “You really have no idea how all this works, do you? I should have known. I use a phone app to access that other world. If you want to get to the Phantom Thieves, you’d best hand it over.”

At the phrase “other world”, the men glanced at each other in obvious apprehension.

It was exactly what Akechi wanted to see. Buoyed by their fear, he decided to move forward with his plan. He would bring them into the metaverse, heal himself, and incapacitate the men. Akechi knew he had lost his sword, but he still had his gun and a healing Bead in reserve. Ren always insisted that they keep at least one healing item on their person at all times, so Akechi was sure it was tucked away somewhere. The Beads were incredibly powerful, capable of healing all injuries in a fraction of a second. Probably he should have used it during the last fight with the Phantom Thieves, but he never got the chance.

The longer he thought about it, the more appealing the plan became. Especially the prospect of greeting the Phantom Thieves when they arrived, having saved them from the ambush. Morgana or one of the others could heal the thugs and send them back to the real world, preferably bound and gagged. Perhaps the Phantom Thieves would be so impressed with his loyalty that they would --

“We’re here.” Gray Tie pulled the car to a stop. 

Blue Tie helped Akechi out of the car. “Where do we need to go?” He sounded more nervous than ever. Perfect.

“Just behind that sign, over by the trees.” It was risky; the spot was relatively secluded. The only way to attract attention to himself would be to scream bloody murder, and even then it would take the guards a minute or two to run over. 

Blue Tie helped him limp along, which was good. Maybe they were starting to trust him after all. 

There was no sign of the Phantom Thieves. He wished he knew where Ren had been when he texted. Most likely from their gathering spot in Shibuya. Akechi ran through the train schedule in his mind; the service to Nagatachō Station ran every ten minutes, plus a ten minute walk. 

He guessed Ren had texted him less than five minutes ago. That didn’t leave much room for error. “They’re probably already inside,” Akechi lied. “We should hurry, otherwise we’ll never catch up to them.”

“Inside... the Diet building?” Blue Tie winced, as if he didn’t want to hear the answer.

Akechi rolled his eyes, even as he privately wanted to dance with glee. “Did they not tell you about the cognitive world?”

“You mean that shit’s real??” Blue Tie’s voice was higher than normal.

“Very. Give me my phone and I’ll take you in. It’s locked to my fingerprint.” He held out his hand.

After sharing another worried glance with his partner, Blue Tie handed over the phone. “No tricks.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Akechi lied.

Akechi was well acquainted with the momentary dizziness as they switched to the metaverse; the thugs were not. As the men reeled with the change, Akechi fished the healing Bead from his pocket and crushed it between his teeth, fully confident it would work.

But something was wrong; the sense of healing energy was far weaker than it should have been. As the men stumbled and groaned, trying to right themselves, Akechi took a deep breath.

A stab of pain shot through his ribs. The Bead had failed to heal him? How was that possible? It should have worked! 

But Akechi wasn’t without other resources. He pulled out his gun. Unfortunate that he had to use such drastic measures, but Ren and the others would be there any moment. Morgana’s healing spell could revive the cognitive dead. He shot them both square in the chest.

Neither of the men fell. “What the fuck?” Gray Tie spluttered, wiping at his chest as though Akechi had thrown a drink at him. 

“Dude, is that a toy? What’s with the outfit?” Blue Tie laughed nervously in confusion.

In consternation, Akechi shot them again. But his gun only emitted a ray of light and tinny ‘pew pew’ noises. 

“Knock it off,” Gray Tie scoffed. “Where are we? Are we on a ship?”

“Why isn’t it working?” Akechi whispered to himself. But then he realized -- the men were real, not shadows. The reason the model guns worked in the cognitive world was because the shadows didn’t know the difference. But the thugs recognized a toy when they saw one. 

Blue Tie was still laughing at Akechi’s outfit. “I knew he wasn’t the Black Mask,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Shido’s an idiot. Kid looks like he's in a marching band.”

This was a disaster. But there was one chance remaining. “I was merely testing your cognition,” Akechi said. “If this had worked on you, you wouldn’t stand a chance in there. Come on, we don’t have much time.” He began to limp towards the building.

“I don’t think so,” Gray Tie said, pulling out his gun. “He said if we killed you in here, there’d be no body to find. Neat trick.”

Akechi felt his back break out into a cold sweat. “Don’t be stupid,” he said. “Look at the size of that building. Do you really think you can find them in there before they get to Shido? You forget, I know all their tricks.”

“We don’t need to find them,” Blue Tie said. “We’ll just go to Shido and wait.” He pulled out an envelope with a distinctive seal.

Akechi’s eyes went wide. It was a letter of invitation, granting access to Shido’s inner circle. So they _had_ known all along. Akechi had described that aspect of the palace to Shido months ago, never thinking that it would be used against him. “Where did you get that?”

“None of your business,” Gray Tie said. “Now, you wanna turn around? I’d hate to mess up that pretty face.” He cocked his gun.

Akechi started to tremble. In retrospect, he could see the massive errors in judgement leading to that moment. How could he have been so stupid? Everything was falling apart because he wanted to be a fucking hero. At any point, he could have fought. He could have shouted his lungs out in the apartment building. He could have pressed the emergency stop in the elevator. He could have made literally _any_ other choice to avoid being in this situation. 

Granted, the men would have killed him, but they were going to do that anyway. Now he was going to die without meaning. At least in the other cases, he would have died to save Ren and the others.

But Akechi had only put them in even more danger. True, the men were drastically outnumbered, but they also had real guns. There was no telling what kind of damage a real bullet would cause in the metaverse.

“You’re making an enormous mistake,” Akechi said, trying to keep his voice level. “It’s not just the letter. Look, you see all those figures glowing red? Those are shadows. They’ll rip you to shreds. You _need_ my help.”

“Nah, we’ll be fine,” Blue Tie said. “We’re already here somewhere, right? They’ll leave us alone. Still not sure how that works.” He shrugged, unconcerned, and drew his gun as well. “Time’s up, Ace Detective. Thank you for all your help.”

“Oh no,” Akechi whispered. Not because he feared dying -- which he did, very much -- but because shadowy figures began to coalesce just behind Shido’s men. 

It was too late. The Phantom Thieves had arrived. 

Materializing in the metaverse wasn’t an instantaneous process; it took a second or two for the entire body to manifest. But Akechi’s captors were prepared. As the figures coalesced around them, Gray Tie lunged for Joker’s shadowy form, getting him into a headlock with a gun pressed to his temple before he could even process what was happening. At the same time, Blue Tie grabbed Akechi.

As soon as the others shook off the momentary dizziness, they’d pulled their own weapons. But it was fruitless; if they so much as blinked wrong, Gray Tie would blow Ren’s brains out.

“What’s going on, man?” Ryuji demanded. “Joker, you said Akechi was on our side.”

Gray Tie snorted. “You damn brats think you’re so fucking smart. We know you’ve been harboring him this whole time. Idiots. Never realized he’s still working for Shido, huh?”

At the same time, at least four people, including Akechi, all said, “What??”

Blue Tie smirked and pulled out his phone. “Listen,” he said. 

Akechi’s voice played back. _Honestly, I’m almost embarrassed it took you so long to track me down; I left an obvious trail. Well, no matter. The time was well-spent; I was able to infiltrate the whole operation. They have no idea, of course -- They’re far too trusting. It was my plan to appear to sacrifice myself all along; Shido knows about the whole scheme._

Akechi gasped. “You absolute fucking bastards.” He struggled weakly, trying to push away from the man holding him up, but he could only gasp in pain when Blue Tie’s grip on him tightened.

Haru glanced at Ren, a crease between her brows. “Joker?”

Ren shook his head. “A bluff.” But he didn’t sound convinced.

“You sure about that?” Gray Tie sneered. “Your little friend here led us straight to you. Don’t worry, we won’t let him go either.”

“Here’s what’s gonna happen,” Blue Tie said. There was no trace of nervousness in his tone; Akechi hated himself for falling for such an obvious good cop/bad cop routine. “All you kiddies but this one --” he gestured at Joker with his gun, “and my little pal here are gonna run back home to your mommies and daddies. And then this punk’s gonna come back with us so we can collect the reward. Doesn’t matter much if he’s breathing, does it?”

“You pieces of shit, you’re not even working for Shido?” Akechi had completely forgotten about the reward money for the Phantom Thieves. 

Blue Tie burst out laughing, a high, gleeful chitter. “Funny thing, that. We _were_ working for him, yeah. Right up until he ordered us to bring you in. And on the car ride over, we realized, there’s still a reward for three million yen for these brats. So we thought, maybe we could convince you to join us, or if not, we’d force you. It’s not like we were gonna share the reward with you anyway. Why settle for a three-way split when we could each get half?”

Gray Tie grinned. “But we didn’t even need to convince you, did we? You were loyal to Shido all along. Now that we’ve got this beauty, that reward money is all ours. We don’t give a fuck what happens to Shido.” He spit on the ground.

It was all falling apart, and it was all Akechi’s fault. He’d been so eager to be the hero, to try to redeem himself to the others, that he’d walked straight into an obvious trap. He started to laugh weakly, even though every contraction of his stomach muscles hurt. “I’m a failure,” he laughed. “An utter failure. Joker, all of you, I’m so sorry. I was so sure I could save you one last time... what a fool.”

“Enough yapping, let’s go,” Gray Tie said. 

“Wait,” Ren said. Somehow, by some trick of his voice, the men paused to listen. “Please, you don’t understand. Goro is -- Goro is my mate.” There was a frisson of tension at the admission of intimacy; everyone shifted uncomfortably. “I just -- I just want to see his face one more time, please. Without his mask. Let me see him without his mask and I’ll go with you willingly.”

Ren and Akechi stared at each other. For a moment, all Akechi could think about was the fact that, despite clear evidence to the contrary, Ren still believed him. Not just that, believed _in_ him, believed Akechi had value as a person. As a mate. In front of all of his friends, he admitted it. 

Akechi’s heart felt strange: light and hot and seeming to buzz with energy. Suddenly he didn’t feel like a failure, because Ren believed in him that much. 

And then he realized what Ren was trying to do. Loki was gone, but Robin Hood still dwelled within him. Akechi was so focused on his physical condition that he’d forgotten about his persona. In fact it felt like Robin might burst out at any second. If Akechi took off his mask....

“Oh for fuck’s sake, get it over with,” Gray Tie huffed. “Fucking teenagers are so dramatic.”

It was still risky in the extreme; releasing his persona and casting a spell would take a second or two, and there was every chance that Gray Tie would shoot Ren in the interim, either on purpose or by accident. But Akechi knew that Ren was aware of the risk. He nodded slightly, his hand reaching for his mask. “One last time, then.”

With as much strength as he could muster, Akechi tore the mask from his face. Robin Hood exploded into being over his head, but it... _wasn’t_ Robin Hood, not the way Akechi remembered. It was the same form, the same body, but all in black, with a newfound power that took Akechi’s breath away. And without conscious thought, Akechi shouted out Robin Hood’s new, _true_ name: “Hereward the Wake!”

The two men were sent tumbling to the ground by the power of the reborn persona bursting forth. The gun went off as well, but Ren was already diving away from his captor to safety. 

Akechi was also thrown off balance, but somehow he managed to wobble on one foot. A new spell came to him, and he called it forth, gesturing to the men as a bright blade of rebellion swept forth, cutting them both down as they struggled to rise.

They did not get up again.

Akechi collapsed, the exertion overcoming his balance. Ren rushed over to catch him. 

As grateful as he was, Akechi had other concerns. “Wait -- they -- are they still alive? Joker, did I -- I didn’t --”

“Mona, check them,” Ren called over his shoulder. “They’re not shadows, we can’t kill them.”

“Got it.”

Akechi breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you. I didn’t want to go through all that just to become a murderer. Again.”

“But why are you here?” Ren asked, helping him into a sitting position. 

“I thought they worked for Shido. They came to the apartment -- I thought I could bluff them into revealing their plans if I pretended I was still working with them. And I thought if I came to the metaverse, I could heal myself and deal with them alone.”

“Yeah well, you coulda fooled us.” Ryuji stood a few feet away, his arms crossed as he scowled.

“What -- no, I swear, _I swear_ \--”

Ryuji’s face broke into a grin. “Ha! Gotcha. I’m just messin’ with you, bro. You coulda contacted Shido anytime in the last week whenever you wanted. We had your phone and laptop bugged just in case. We'd've known if you tried anything.”

Akechi slumped, huffing in annoyance at the joke more than the surveillance. “Not funny. Though I suppose I deserved it. Regardless, it appears I can’t heal my wounds. I was so sure that would work!”

Ren grimaced as if he were embarrassed. “Uh, you didn’t take your Bead, did you?” He rubbed the back of his neck.

“Yes, it was all I had left,” Akechi said.

Behind them, Futaba snorted in suppressed laughter. _“Awkward,”_ she said under her breath.

Ren cleared his throat. “Uh. About that. You know how sometimes I pickpocket stuff from enemies? Well, I can also plant things.”

“I don’t understand.”

“We swapped out your most powerful healing item with a much weaker version during our last battle,” Makoto explained. “Just in case.”

Akechi blinked in shock. “That’s brilliant,” he murmured. Then his eyes narrowed. “Wait, I didn’t tell you to do that, did I?”

“Guy’s gotta have a _few_ secrets,” Ren grinned. “I’m not a total disaster, you know.”

“Also he read it in a manga,” Yusuke said calmly.

Everyone burst out laughing while Ren blushed. For a moment, Akechi felt an incredible sense of happiness and warmth. It was like he was a Phantom Thief, enjoying a joke with his friends. And his mate. Without thinking, he smiled too, reaching out to brush away a lock of hair from Ren’s temple.

“Awwww!” Ann squealed. “That’s _soooo_ romantic!”

Akechi whipped his hand away, embarrassed. “Sorry,” he mumbled. Suddenly he remembered that he wasn’t one of them, even if he and Ren were involved. He could feel Haru and Futaba looking at him; although neither _seemed_ to be stewing in anger, his guilt convinced him that they probably were.

Ren tilted his head. “Why are you sorry?”

“I’m keeping you too long,” Akechi said, not really answering his question. “You’ve got things to do. If you just hand me my crutches, I’ll return and let you get on with it.”

“Don’t you want to see if you can be healed?” Without waiting for a response, Ren cast a healing spell on him.

This time, Akechi could feel it working. He breathed easier as his ribs knit back together, while the lingering soreness of his ankle disappeared. Nodding in relief, he got to his feet. “My thanks. Now, I’ll let you --”

Ren caught his arm. “Goro. Do you _want_ to come with us?”

Akechi glanced at the others, wincing in guilt. “It wouldn’t be right.”

“Akechi-kun,” Haru said, biting her lip. “You should come with us. My father’s death was... of course, I wish you had not followed Shido’s orders. I wish I could have seen him recover from his change of heart. I will never stop wondering what could have been in that respect. And it would be easy for me to say, ‘oh, but you could have stood up to Shido, you could have stood up to Loki, you could have refused.’ And yet, I could not stand up to my father, or my fiance, or even the man who runs the company I now own, without the help of Joker. I may never fully forgive you, but I understand the pressure you were under, at least a little. I can’t even imagine what you went through with a being like Loki in your head, influencing you all the time.”

“Yeah,” Futaba said. “I mean, I miss mom so so much, I’d give anything to bring her back. And I did kinda hate you, not gonna lie. But not anymore. Once I saw that creepshow that was living in your head? I mean, yikes. And I know Shido ordered you to... t-to do what you did to mom, and you were only a little older than I am now. That’s nightmare mode, and you were running solo. Plus, let’s be real, that new persona you got is super powerful. We could really use the help, right Queen?”

“I can’t deny it,” Makoto nodded.

“I, too, could not stand up to my foster father,” Yusuke offered. “I could not even bring myself to comprehend the truth of his crimes, though it was staring me in the face. At least you have been working to bring Shido down, even if your methods were reprehensible.”

“Dude, lay off, I think he’s gonna cry,” Ryuji muttered.

It was true -- Akechi’s eyes had welled up, his tears pooling in his mask. He dashed the drops away with the backs of his hands. “I’d say you were all fools for giving me this chance, that you must be truly desperate for my aid, but given how well you fought against me, I’m not sure my help is really needed.”

“Um, actually....” Makoto’s voice was apologetic. “If we’re talking strategy, shouldn’t Crow go back? If we... if we fail our mission,” she said, swallowing hard, “he can still testify against Shido in the real world.”

A chill went through the group as they each considered it. Akechi’s stomach fell, even though he realized Makoto was completely correct. It was just like he’d suspected all along -- his value lay in his worth as an insurance policy, not with being a member of the Phantom Thieves, regardless of how much he wished he could be. “Oh. Of course.” He swallowed hard. “If that’s the will of the group.”

But Ren had different ideas, apparently. “We didn’t get this far by playing it safe,” he said. He looked at Akechi, his lips curling into a grin. “There are some things more important than insurance. You deserve a chance to face Shido. If you want it?”

Akechi nodded hesitantly. “I do. For... many reasons, not the least of which is so that my father knows I was there to bring him down.” 

As with all decisions of the Phantom Thieves, it had to be unanimous. Surprisingly, however, Makoto agreed with the others. “Honestly, I only said that to see if you’d try to back out,” she admitted. “Glad to have you on board again, Crow. That last skill you just did was amazing -- just be sure you can do it again,” she said, her prim manner only barely belying the fact that it was an order.

“Of course, Queen.” Akechi tilted his head in deference. Inwardly he was quivering with excitement and relief and something he couldn’t identify at first, something he hadn’t felt in so long he’d forgotten what to call it: hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eyyyyyyyyy sorry I skipped an update! Last week was crazy stressful in the states, don't know if you heard. 🙃 Also the story took an unexpected turn for me and is going to be a little longer than I anticipated. But I'm not sure how much longer yet. Oops.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's going to take Akechi some time to adjust.

Fighting, and ultimately defeating, his own father was a strange experience. Then again, almost everything that had happened to Akechi in the last two years qualified as a strange experience. 

The strategy they ultimately chose had Akechi hanging back at first, to act as a secret weapon of sorts. This left him in the unfortunate position of eavesdropping as the others confronted Shido. 

It was all backwards. Akechi had dreamt of revealing his identity to Shido for years. In all the times he’d imagined it, two scenarios seemed equally likely. It was possible his father would erupt in anger, no doubt attacking Akechi for his impudence. Or perhaps Shido would collapse in shame, beg for Akechi’s forgiveness before his inevitable defeat.

Yet neither of those occurred. Instead, Shido was utterly indifferent to confirm that Akechi was his son. And the Phantom Thieves -- Akechi’s former enemies -- were utterly horrified at Shido’s reaction. 

When the time came for Akechi to reveal himself and join the fight, he saw fear in Shido’s eyes for the first time. It was what Akechi had looked forward to the most, and yet in the moment, it was spectacularly unsatisfying. There was no sense of triumph to savour. Mostly Akechi pitied his father for his inability to recognize when he was facing defeat.

Even after he’d fallen, unable to fight further, Shido refused to submit. Staggering forward, he reached his hand out towards them as he tumbled to his knees. But was he reaching in supplication towards Akechi, the son he’d denied for so long? Or was it a last ditch attempt to attack Ren, the teenager who had risen from nowhere to crush him?

In the end, it didn’t matter, as Shido’s form skittered, fluttering in and out of existence before winking out altogether. It was clear something had gone wrong, as the palace began to collapse before Ren had even touched the treasure.

“What’s happening?” Ann shrieked.

“I don’t know!” Morgana shouted. 

“Sabotage,” Akechi guessed. “He did something in the real world, I’m sure of it.”

“Let’s get the hell out of here,” Ryuji said.

“For once, we agree,” Akechi said, already moving towards the door as Ren snatched the treasure.

It wasn’t so easy, but eventually they re-emerged into the shocking calm of the real world. Ryuji had been separated from the others -- for a moment or two, it seemed like he hadn’t made it. But then he jogged up, panting and wheezing.

Ann was already bawling by then, lashing out at Ryuji (rather unfairly, Akechi thought) for scaring them. As Makoto and the other girls joined in, the distraction allowed Akechi to melt into the background, reeling from so many unanswered questions. What had happened to Shido? Akechi would not have been surprised to find out he had done something risky, like put his own life on the line, in order to thwart the Phantom Thieves. 

But had it worked? They had stolen the treasure, but was Shido still alive? And if he was, would his heart be changed? 

Most importantly, what would happen now? Would the others continue to accept him as a Phantom Thief, or was this a special exception? 

Although he’d fought as hard as anyone in the battle against Shido, it all felt too pat, too easy, as though he hadn’t truly earned a place in the group. Had Makoto felt this way when she was accepted into the fold? Or Yusuke? Both of them had opposed the Phantom Thieves to some extent. Technically, Futaba had, as well.

Then again, none of them had caused the death of anyone’s mother or father. Although two years ago Akechi had no way of knowing that Wakaba Isshiki would die from his actions -- if she hadn’t fallen into traffic, she might well have survived -- by the time he killed Okumura’s shadow, Akechi knew full well that the man himself might die. That made him guilty of manslaughter, or at least depraved indifference. 

Both Mifune-san and Ren seemed to think that Akechi wasn’t fully culpable, that the influence of Shido and Loki were truly to blame. But though he could accept that reasoning in theory, Akechi had never been just a mindless thrall. 

It was odd -- although he’d gotten his memories back, he still remembered  _ not  _ remembering. So even though he’d been working on behalf of the Phantom Thieves for quite a while, it didn’t  _ feel  _ that way. Had he truly done enough, these last few months, to overcome his transgressions and earn his place as a Phantom Thief? And what about --

“Hey, Akechi-kun, are you coming?” Morgana asked, cutting into his train of thought.

“Huh?” Blinking in confusion, he realized the others were walking towards the nearest train station. Ryuji was leaning heavily on Ren, limping slightly from over-exerting himself in his final sprint to safety.

“We’re getting something to eat -- stealing treasure is hungry work. You coming with us or what?” The cat was already trotting along behind the group, tail in the air. 

Ren glanced back over his shoulder, beckoning Akechi with a welcoming grin and a tilt of his head.

“I -- yes. Yes, I’m coming,” Akechi said, hurrying to catch up. Apparently his questions would have to wait. 

* * *

“Alright, Ann-chan to the rescue!” Futaba hooted, pumping her fist in the air.

The heroine in question was currently digging through her bag. “I know I’ve got one somewhere.... Aha!” Triumphant, Ann pulled out a hair tie and a comb. 

The problem was that Akechi was still... well,  _ Akechi.  _ They’d only gone about half a block before people stopped to stare, whispering behind their hands as they recognized him.

Ducking into an alley, they stopped to consider disguises. Ann was sure she could handle it. “You guys, this is  _ literally  _ my job. I got this. Ooh, Akechi, your hair’s so  _ long.”  _ She hummed in appreciation as she dragged the comb through his hair. 

“I’ve been busy,” he noted, his voice dry. It did feel nice to have someone comb his hair. He absently wondered if Ren might want to do this for him, someday. 

In the meantime, Ann pulled his hair back into a low ponytail, while a few tendrils hung loose around his face. “And the finishing touch -- walla!” With a flourish, she pulled out a pair of chunky black eyeglass frames.

“Actually, it’s ‘voilà’,” Makoto noted. “Why do you have glasses?”

“They’re fake,” Ann said. “Sometimes I wear ‘em to shoots if I think they want someone that looks, like, smart and stuff.”

“Brilliant,” Ren murmured, but he was looking at Akechi. 

By process of elimination, it was decided that they would go for monjayaki, which wasn’t anyone’s first choice, but neither was it anyone’s last choice. Akechi didn’t weigh in during the spirited debate, partially because he truly didn’t care one way or another, but mostly because he still felt out of place with the others.

Which was kind of silly; he’d gone places with Ren lots of times, sometimes meeting up with the others as well. But that was before, when Akechi was doing his best to charm and intimidate everyone with his “Ace Detective” act. 

He realized he had very little concept of how to relate to his peers just as himself. Not to mention that as a group, the Phantom Thieves could be somewhat boisterous. It was hard to know which bit of chatter or playful argument to pay attention to at any given moment, much less to know when he should join into the conversation. Akechi was used to one-on-one interviews, not this sort of onslaught.

Akechi found himself trying to fade into the background. He stuck close to Ren, nodding and occasionally laughing, attempting not to get too lost in his own thoughts. 

But then, during a rare lull when everyone finally had a portion of monja on their plate, Ryuji spoke up. “Hey, Akechi, I been wonderin’ about something,” he said around a mouthful of food. 

Akechi tensed up. “Yes?”

“Why’d you take that takoyaki at the school festival? I mean, dude, it was bright red, you must’ve known it was gonna be spicy.” 

Everyone looked at Akechi. Flushing under the scrutiny, he slouched backward defensively. Akechi considered lying; it would be easy to make up some reason or another. But he didn’t want to do that anymore. And deep down, part of him still believed that if the others only knew how terrible he really was, they’d come to their senses. “I did notice that it was the spicy one. I thought... I thought it would be funny,” he mumbled. Ugh, telling the truth was terrible; why did anyone ever bother?

Futaba tilted her head, clearly confused. “You thought it would be funny to eat something that spicy??”

Akechi busied himself with taking another slice from the griddle in the center of the table, wishing he weren’t the center of attention for the first time in his life. “I thought we could all have a laugh if I made some funny faces and that we could bond over the shared joke.” He huffed in frustration at how pathetic he sounded; in retrospect it had been a dumb idea from the start. “I was trying to humanize myself and I failed to take into account how spicy that stupid fucking snack actually was, and I made a fool of myself in front of --” He abruptly stopped talking, glancing guiltily across the table at Ren.

This did not go unnoticed; Ann cooed, clapping softly as if Akechi had done something clever. “Awwww!”

Rolling his eyes, Akechi mumbled, “I was very nervous, okay?”

Apparently not everyone had picked up on the nuance. “You? Nervous? What’d you got to be nervous about? You were on to us from the start.” Ryuji asked, clearly baffled.

“Well you see Ryuji,” Morgana sniffed in his most sanctimonious tone, “when an alpha and an omega like each other very much --”

The table burst into laughter as Ryuji began to argue with Morgana. Akechi sighed in relief that the attention had turned away from him. He focused on his food, feeling as though he’d only narrowly passed a pop quiz.

Under the table, he felt Ren’s knees knocking his. He looked up to see Ren gazing at him in amusement and fondness. He winked, making Akechi’s cheeks go even brighter red. 

Even this tiny interaction was noticed. “You two are so  _ cute,”  _ Ann squeaked. 

Yusuke, meanwhile, held his hands up, squinting through the rectangle frame formed by his thumbs and forefingers. “I wouldn’t say they were cute,” he mused. “You should both model for me together. I can capture the heights of your passion on my canvas. It will be my next masterwork!”

“Dude, you say that about everything,” Futaba tutted, stealing a mushroom from his plate. 

After that, the conversation moved on. Akechi relaxed somewhat as the meal continued. Somehow, though, he felt better. A little, anyway. In a way, it didn’t matter that he had so little authentic experience with his peers. No one at the table had an easy time of it, socially. 

Come to think of it, most of them also had lost one or both of their parents. For an instant, Akechi almost felt at home, until he remembered that he was the reason why two of them were orphans in the first place.

But by that point, the meal was over, Yusuke having finished whatever was left on anyone’s plates. Akechi followed the others to the station. 

“Are you going back to that apartment?” Makoto asked. “It might not be safe. There’s no telling how many of Shido’s men knew about it.”

“I’ll have Iwai-san check in on the place in the morning and grab your stuff,” Ren said decisively. “You can come to Leblanc for the night until we can book a new place.”

“No offense, but Leblanc isn’t exactly an unknown location either,” Akechi pointed out.

Ren shrugged. “Maybe not, but what choice do you have?”

Akechi’s resigned sigh turned into a yawn. “I really should get my laptop,” he said, shaking his head. “I deleted as much as I could, but --”

“Pffft, I’ll nuke it from orbit,” Futaba sniffed, waving him off as the train pulled up. “It’s decided: you’re going to Leblanc!”

“But --”

“Dude, stop coming up with fake excuses,” Ryuji said, giving him a gentle shove towards the train doors as Futaba and Ren boarded. “Just go and get some sleep.”

“Be good, kids!” Ann said, waving at them as the train doors shut. 

Normally, Akechi would have hated having such a decision made on his behalf, but in truth he was glad for the invitation. After everything that had happened, he felt strangely unmoored and adrift. Spending the evening alone would not have helped. 

He took a seat next to Ren; the train was mercifully uncrowded at this time of night. “I’m exhausted,” he said.

“You think it went okay? That was weird at the end,” Futaba fretted, pushing up her glasses.

“I think it’ll be okay,” Morgana said, his head popping out of Ren’s bag.

It was the first time Akechi had ever witnessed Morgana speaking out in the open. A few heads turned. “Um,” he murmured, “You do sound like a cat to everyone else, yes?”

"He does," Futaba said. "I heard him before I went to my palace." Then she laughed. “Remember that time that little girl on the train wanted to pet you? Hilarious.”

“It was  _ not  _ hilarious,” Morgana bristled. “This one mashed my head like... like I was in a video game!” He glared at Ren, inasmuch as a cat could glare. It was surprisingly effective.

“He puked in my bag,” Ren said calmly. 

“Worth it,” Futaba snickered.

Akechi stared at them. He’d spent years being incredibly careful to convey the perfect image in public, knowing that at any moment, someone was watching him. The thought of being witnessed talking such apparent nonsense was anathema. And yet Ren and Futaba seemed utterly unconcerned by the attention they drew from the few other passengers. 

Was that normal? Come to think of it, the others were similarly unselfconscious, with the possible exception of Haru. But even she seemed comfortable in her own skin, even if she did shy away from attention in public. 

Was this what it was like to be a Phantom Thief? Or even just a normal teenager? Akechi wasn’t sure he liked it. But he wasn’t sure he  _ didn’t  _ like it, either. In fact, at the moment, he wasn’t really sure of anything. He caught a glancing reflection of himself in the opposite window and hardly recognized himself. 

It was unnerving. On the one hand, during the course of the evening he’d begun to live his truth, no longer hiding that he was an omega, or his feelings for Ren, or his relation to Shido. Even his persona had found his true identity. But what about Goro Akechi, Ace Detective? The lie he’d lived for so long was gone. He stared at the flickering image of his face, obscured by thick glasses and a ponytail. He felt as though he’d been turned inside-out.

“Hey,” Ren said, knocking his shoulder with his own. “We’re almost there.”

“Right,” Akechi nodded absently, not looking at Ren. He frowned, trying to gather his thoughts into some semblance of cohesion. But all that did was to highlight how bizarre the moment truly was. 

He watched the reflection in the opposite window and wondered how they appeared to everyone else: the disgraced celebrity, the most notorious criminal in Tokyo, and the most skilled hacker in Japan, talking to a cat in a school bag. 

But is that what other people saw? Aside from when Morgana spoke -- or rather, meowed -- no one was paying much attention. They were just another group of teenagers riding the train home. Yes, they looked a bit strange, but not strange enough to cause anyone a second glance. 

Akechi had spent his whole life trying to be exceptional in every way. And now he couldn’t even attract attention with the help of a talking cat. Yet it didn’t feel  _ bad,  _ exactly. Then again it didn’t feel  _ good  _ either. Mostly it felt strange, but Akechi was aware of a sense of relief, like he’d finally taken off a coat that was lined with lead. 

“Hey,” Ren said again, jostling him harder. “Hey.”

In confusion, Akechi looked at him. Ren was grinning; his smile bloomed when Akechi caught his eye, warm and joyful and just a tiny bit goofy.

Although he laughed all the time, Ren didn’t smile very often, or at least, not like this. Akechi found he began to smile as well, unable to help himself. 

The announcement came over the loudspeaker for Yongen station. “Welp, this is us,” Futaba said, getting to her feet.

“Yep,” Ren said, smiling at Akechi. “This is us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter this week! Also some housekeeping: I've updated the chapter count, but it very well may increase again as I figure out how to get through the ~~nonsense~~ battle with Yaldy at the end. I have no concept of how it will go, which means I just gotta start writing and see what happens. It won't be ten chapters, but it might nudge up to 22. Or 23....


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akechi realizes there's a difference between knowing what you want, and knowing what you don't.

They arrived to find Leblanc was a mess. A glance was enough to tell Akechi that it was not a run-of-the-mill robbery. For one thing, although the register was open, the cash was still in it. The damage was extensive, but pointless: the upholstery on the banquettes was slashed, and about half of the jars of coffee had been smashed on the ground. The cafe had been turned over by professionals, either seeking information or as an act of intimidation, or both.

More importantly, it was empty. Sojiro was gone. 

Futaba began to panic, running through the cafe as if Sojiro were merely playing hide-and-seek. Luckily, Sojiro arrived just a moment or two behind them, staving off Futaba’s growing meltdown. 

Sojiro explained that Shido’s men showed up to wreck the place late that afternoon. When he wouldn’t talk, they dragged him to Shido's headquarters -- he wasn’t sure of the location. But then something happened to Shido, something unexpected, and they brought him back. It sounded as if everything was thrown into chaos. 

“But -- he’s still alive?” Akechi blurted out.

Sojiro seemed to notice him for the first time. “Huh? Who’s your fri- Oh. It’s you.” His face soured as he looked past Akechi’s rudimentary disguise. “What’s it to you?”

Akechi crumpled a little on the inside. “He can’t confess if he’s dead.”

Sojiro’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh. Guess that’s true. Yeah, it sounded like he was still alive. Just like he got sick or something.” He looked at Ren. “That means he had a change of heart, right?”

“Maybe,” Ren said. “If he did, Akechi helped.” He put his hand on Akechi’s shoulder and squeezed in reassurance.

“They came after Akechi-kun too,” Futaba said. “He can’t go back to -- oh! I forgot, gotta go nuke a laptop, byeeeeee!” She scampered out of the cafe.

Morgana chased after her. "Wait for me!"

“What’s gotten into her?” Sojiro asked, watching her leave. With a sigh, he said to Akechi, “Suppose you need a place to stay, then.”

“If you would be so kind, yes.” Akechi bowed formally.

With a reluctant grunt in the affirmative, Sojiro looked around the remains of the cafe. “What a mess. Did they really have to do all this? Sorry boys, I know you’re probably tired, but I really need help cleaning up.”

Akechi was grateful for the opportunity to help. He threw himself into the job, tackling the dirtiest and least enjoyable tasks while Ren and Sojiro tidied around him. Despite his fatigue, he felt the need to earn his night’s keep.

Still, when he took a brief break to use the restroom, he overheard Sojiro speaking to Ren in the kitchen. “Don’t you think your boyfriend’s overdoing it a bit? Not like a bit of mopping’s gonna make up for everything he did.”

“Boss, you’ve got it wrong,” Ren said. “I shouldn’t say it, but... Akechi is Shido’s illegitimate son. His mother -- she died when he was just a kid. Akechi’s been on his own a long time. He’s been trying to take Shido down from the inside for two years. He just couldn’t do it alone, and he got stuck.”

There was a pause. “I see. Damn, that asshole really had no shame, huh?”

“It’s worse than that. Shido knew the whole time.”

Sojiro sighed. “I didn’t think I could hate Shido any more, but I guess I could. Alright, Akechi can stay as long as he needs. Just -- look, I know I’m not your dad, but don’t get him pregnant, okay?”

Although Akechi was grateful that Ren spoke up on his behalf, he wanted to implode in embarrassment at the direction the conversation had taken. He loudly ran the sink, clearing his throat as he jiggled the door handle in his way back out. “What’s next, Sakura-san?”

“You can call me Boss -- everyone else does. And I think we’ve made enough progress for the night. You boys want some cocoa before you go turn in? Or I’ve got a new chamomile tea in stock, if that’s more your style.”

A few weeks ago, Akechi would have asked for chamomile tea, even though he didn’t care for it much, simply because he thought it was the more mature option. But without the need to keep up his front as the Ace Detective, he found himself asking for hot cocoa. Ren did the same, so at least Akechi wasn’t alone in that respect.

When the drink arrived a moment or two later, Akechi knew he’d made the right choice. It was rich and creamy, not too sweet, laced with cinnamon. “This is sublime,” he marveled. “Thank you so much.”

“No problem,” Sojiro said, waving him off. “Futaba likes it super sweet, but I figured you’d appreciate the subtlety of the cocoa.”

“Am I tasting raspberry??” Akechi squinted into his cup, as if he could see the flavors.

“Wow, you’ve got quite a palette,” Sojiro nodded. “Yeah, this cocoa powder has undertones of red berry. Adds a tang, really rounds the flavor out.”

“I keep telling him he should be a food critic,” Ren said, sipping his drink.

“Excuse me, you told me once.” Akechi rolled his eyes. 

“I was projecting into the future,” Ren said, nonplussed. “I’ll be saying it again a few times, I’m pretty sure.”

Sojiro watched them, his head volleying back and forth as he chuckled. “You guys remind me of me and Wakaba,” he said. “Anyway, I’m beat. You good with washing your cups? I’m gonna head out.”

The mention of Futaba’s mother had a chilling effect on Akechi, but luckily Sojiro didn’t seem to notice. Once he was gone, Akechi murmured, “I didn’t realize he was so close to her. Though in retrospect, it explains why he took Futaba in.”

“It’s not your fault,” Ren said quietly.

“I pulled the trigger,” Akechi snarled, suddenly angry. He took a calming breath. “I didn’t know she would die, but I knew she would be affected, mentally. That was the whole point: neutralize her ability to do further research, so that Shido could steal it.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “I knew it was wrong then, but I did it anyway. And now Futaba will never see her mother again. How can I live with that?”

“Because you were fifteen, you didn’t think she would die, and you were pressured by your father, not to mention the immortal personification of a god living in your brain. And you were completely, totally, alone. If I told you I was under the same pressures, wouldn’t you be more forgiving?”

Akechi sighed heavily. “I know what you’re trying to do, but please. Don’t patronize me.”

“Goro, I’m  _ not.”  _ Ren scrubbed his hands through his hair. “I just wish you could see yourself how I do.”

Snorting, Akechi swirled the dregs of his cocoa in his cup. “What, as a pathetic omega who was too weak to stand up to his deadbeat father or the voices in his head?”

“No. As a... a reluctant hero. You know, one of those bad guys who turns out to be good all along. Like Bucky Barnes.”

Akechi felt his cheeks flush. “You read too much manga. You should be calling me a traitor.”

“It’s MCU, not manga. And anyway, when did you ever betray us, once we teamed up?”

“Are you forgetting that up until then I literally spent every waking moment trying to convince the country you were criminals?” Akechi drawled.

“Yeah, but you sucked at it. The times you yelled the loudest were when we were most popular.” Ren sighed again, his gaze far away. “It’s like... something else is affecting things. This isn’t over, I’m sure of it.”

Akechi wasn’t sure what Ren was talking about, but he was happy to change the subject. “Perhaps not, but for now I wouldn’t mind calling it a night. I’m quite tired.”

“Aw, that’s a shame,” Ren murmured into his cocoa. “I was hoping to tire you out myself.”

Flushing, Akechi fiddled with his empty cup. “Maybe Boss should have made me coffee, then. I’d hate to fall asleep on you.”

Ren exhaled, gnawing his bottom lip. “That  _ would  _ be a shame,” he murmured, indicating just the opposite.

Akechi remembered Ren had said something similar when they were fucking during his heat. He swallowed hard, his cock throbbing between his legs as he imagined waking up with Ren already inside him. 

Although his physical body was eager, his mind was indecisive, still racing to catch up to the events of the day. Sex would be a distraction, no doubt, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to put off processing everything that had happened. He’d spent two years avoiding his own emotional reactions out of fear of Loki; the last thing he wanted to do was fall into those old habits. Plus he was  _ tired,  _ in every possible sense.

But neither did he want to disappoint Ren. Goro knew that if he went along with Ren’s desire for sex, he would enjoy himself. Probably. Eventually. And yet he couldn’t seem to make himself want it. He wanted comfort and closeness, yes, but not sweaty, animalistic sex. 

Trying to reconcile the opposing desires, Goro began to feel sick and miserable. It was unfamiliar, uncomfortable; when Loki was with him, he never had any difficulty making decisions, because if he wavered for even a few seconds, Loki would make the choice for him. Now he felt like he was four years old again, unable to say what he wanted or needed, on the verge of a tantrum.

Perhaps he simply needed to relax. “Actually, would you mind terribly -- is the bathhouse across the street still open? Today was quite strenuous and I’ve been nearly immobile for almost two weeks. I think a soak might help alleviate the potential for soreness tomorrow.”

“Oh! Yeah, it’s open,” Ren nodded, glancing at the clock. “That’s a great idea, actually. I could go for a bath, myself.”

Ten minutes later, Akechi lowered himself into the steaming water with a grateful sigh. “Ahhh, perfection,” he said, leaning back as he felt his muscles loosen. Though he knew he was simply putting off the decision about sex, at the moment the bath was a wonderful sensation.

“Definitely the right call,” Ren said, settling in himself. 

“Of course it was. All my ideas are good ones.” Eyes closed, Akechi gave a lopsided smirk. He didn’t really mean it, but it was satisfying to play their old game, even if no one was keeping score any longer.

“I feel like I’ve heard that somewhere before,” Ren mused, his eyes also closed. “It’ll come to me.”

“Forgetting things? Can’t relate, I’m afraid,” Akechi sighed.

Ren laughed at that, which means Akechi won. Maybe he was still keeping score, a little.

Although Akechi gladly would have soaked until he turned into a prune, all too soon the bathhouse was closing. They made their way to the locker room to change. By that point in the evening, they had the room to themselves. Out of nowhere, Ren started laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

Ren shrugged on his shirt. “I was just thinking about the last time we were here, when you wanted to race to see who could be the first to change. You’ll really turn anything into a competition, huh?”

Akechi flushed; luckily, his skin was already so pink from the bath it wasn’t noticeable. “Oh, that. Actually... I had ulterior motives. I was afraid that I might... um. React. Visibly. I wanted to get dressed as quickly as possible.”

Ren looked up as he slipped on his socks. He didn’t say anything, just smirked.

Akechi huffed and rolled his eyes. “Go on, get it out of your system. What is it, a pun? Another euphemism?”

Standing up, Ren came over and batted Akechi’s hands away from the buttons on his shirt, doing them up himself. It was a shockingly intimate, almost possessive gesture. “I was going to say, you are adorable. And we’d better get out of here before I do something that gets us both banned from coming back.” 

Even though they had just bathed, Akechi could smell Ren’s musk in the humid air. “Heaven forfend,” he croaked, pressing his legs together against the wash of moisture at his entrance. Despite that, the sense of trepidation intensified. Relaxation had apparently not been the answer; if anything, he wanted sex even less than before, regardless of his body’s reaction. 

But he wanted comfort, and the physical intimacy of sex would certainly be a close second. It wouldn’t be fair to cuddle while withholding sex, would it? That would be tantamount to teasing. Maybe once they started, Goro would enjoy himself.

As Goro struggled to come to terms with the swirling confusion of desires and exhaustion, they made their way back to Leblanc. Once they were safely locked inside, Ren crowded into Goro from behind, pressing his nose into Goro’s hair. “Let’s get upstairs,” he murmured, his voice low and rough. 

Goro couldn’t help it; he froze up as a massive wave of reluctance locked his muscles into place. 

Though it was for a split second only, Ren pulled away. “What’s the matter?” He frowned in concern.

Goro feigned confusion. “What? Oh, nothing to worry about. It just tickled,” he lied. “Shall we?”

Ren didn’t look at all convinced, but he led the way upstairs. “Let’s get you some pajamas,” he said, rifling through the storage boxes he used instead of a closet.

Goro took the t-shirt and joggers, trying to hide his confusion. It didn’t make much sense to put on pajamas only to take them off again. But Ren obviously expected him to change, so he did, woodenly stuffing himself into the clothes while Ren did the same.

But then Ren sat on the sofa, patting the empty space beside him in invitation. Goro obediently sat, unsure of what to expect.

“Goro -- ” Ren hesitated. “You know we don’t have to have sex, right?”

“Don’t you want to?” Goro couldn’t quite manage a seductive tone, but he was pretty sure he avoided frowning. “I thought you made that pretty clear.”

“Of course I want to,” Ren said. “Like, a lot. Ugh, this is weird, let’s --” He shifted so he was sitting sideways, pulling Goro into his lap, back-to-chest. “Is this okay?” Ren asked, smoothing his fingers through Goro’s hair.

“Yes,” Goro said automatically. Because it  _ was  _ okay, mostly. Being wrapped in an embrace while Ren played with his hair was amazing. But the sensation of Ren’s half-hard cock against the small of his back made it impossible to relax fully. Why was Ren dragging this out? Having resigned himself to sex, Goro wanted to get it over with. 

“You know, I can smell it when you really want it,” Ren said quietly. “So you don’t need to lie.”

Goro huffed in frustration. “I’m not  _ lying,”  _ he said. “I’m rounding up to the truth. There’s a big difference.” 

Ren breathed laughter into his hair. “Are you gonna tell me what I did to make you think you didn’t have a say in the matter? Because I never want to do it again, whatever it was.”

“Ugh, why are you making this so complicated?” Goro grunted under his breath. 

“Am I?” Ren’s voice was thick with amusement. “Seems pretty simple to me.”

The condescension did nothing to calm Goro’s nerves. “You didn’t  _ do  _ anything,” he sighed heavily. He opened his mouth to explain further, but the prospect of trying to explain how he was feeling was tiresome. Goro exhaled sharply without finishing his thought. In his fatigue, he fell back into his old ways, lashing out without thinking. “Why do you have to be so damn empathetic all the time?”

Ren continued to run his fingers through Goro’s hair. He pressed his lips against Goro’s temple, just at the hairline. “I don’t have to be,” he murmured softly. “Tell me what’s wrong, asshole.” His warm, caring tone didn’t shift in the slightest, nor did his touch grow any less gentle. 

It was so incongruous that it took Goro a moment to parse the actual words. Helplessly, his annoyance melted away as he laughed; Ren had said something similar during his heat. “You love that trick, I see.”

“I do,” Ren agreed. 

Sighing, Goro tried to overcome his reluctance to put his feelings into words. “I’m... not sure I want sex tonight,” he said finally. “But I don’t want to let you down. And I know I would probably like it once we started, and I do want....” He struggled to find the right word; it was one thing to be submissive, but to actually take the initiative to  _ ask  _ for gentleness, for comfort, was a foreign experience. 

Ren didn’t press him, only making an encouraging sound while he continued to weave his fingers through Goro’s hair. 

“It’s been a trying day,” Goro eventually said, sidestepping the issue. “Hearing the things my father said... and then  _ dinner, _ dinner was....” He swallowed hard as the emotions he was still trying to process rose in his throat. 

Ren’s arms tightened around him. “It’s okay.”

“It’s  _ not,”  _ Goro said. “None of this is your problem and I shouldn’t push it on you or deprive you of what you want.”

Ren huffed in amusement. “It’s not pushing, beautiful. I  _ asked.  _ That makes it sharing. But you don’t have to. Sometimes I fucking  _ hate  _ talking, you know?” He laughed again. “Poor Niijima-san, she was trying so hard to interrogate me and I could barely string two words together because of the drugs.”

Out of nowhere, Goro had a sudden image of Ren lying on the ground in the interrogation room in a pool of blood. He gasped, shuddering violently.

“What’s wrong?”

“Can we not talk about -- that night?” Goro winced, his eyes clenched shut. Seeking both comfort and cover, he rolled over and buried his face in Ren’s chest. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry, I forgot -- I’m so sorry,” Ren mumbled, cradling Goro.

“It’s okay,” Goro lied. Or, rather, he once again rounded up to the truth: it  _ would  _ be okay, eventually. He could hear Ren’s heart beating in his chest, because Ren was alive and not dead. “You’re alive,” he said quietly, because he needed to hear it.

“I am,” Ren said. “I’m right here.”

They lay like that for a few moments. Goro concentrated on regulating his breathing, focusing on his physical sensations rather than his racing thoughts. Eventually his pulse slowed and the tips of his fingers warmed back up.

But he still didn’t want to move. It was so indulgent to lie there, warm and cozy and --

“Wait,” Goro said, his head springing up. “What did you call me just now?”

The corner of Ren’s mouth turned up into a self-satisfied smirk. “Did I call you something? I don’t remember.”

“Ugh, you’re the worst,” Goro grumbled, burrowing his face into the crook of Ren’s neck as warmth blossomed in his chest. 

“Mmm,” Ren hummed in amused agreement. He began to stroke Goro’s hair again. “This is nice,” he said, though whether he was talking about the length of Goro’s hair or the cuddling was unclear.

Goro didn’t care one way or the other, as long as they didn’t have to stop. Tentatively, he wormed his hands around Ren’s torso, and that was even better. 

After a few minutes, Goro found the need to speak overcame his desire for quiet. “What am I to you? Am I your mate, like you said earlier? Your boyfriend?”

Goro heard Ren’s heart quicken, even though he made no outward reaction. “I suppose it depends on what you want.” Pausing, Ren shifted slightly, not quite squirming. “When... that time you asked for my bite, I knew you wouldn’t remember. And I knew  _ you  _ knew that you wouldn’t remember, too. I figured that’s why you did it. So, I mean.” He squirmed for real. “I’m not going to hold you to it, if you changed your mind or whatever. Or if you never meant it to last in the first place.”

It took a second for the implication of Ren’s words to sink in. Goro blinked and slowly sat up so he could look Ren in the face. Which wasn’t easy -- Ren was staring off to the side, clearly distressed. 

“Oh for the love of -- I thought  _ you  _ were humoring  _ me.”  _ Goro rolled his eyes, sighing heavily.

Ren’s chest began to shake in silent laughter. “Wow. We really suck at this, huh.”

“Do you really expect me to admit I’m bad at something? It’s like you don’t know me at all,” Goro tutted.

Ren laughed harder. “Fair enough. And in answer to your original question, I do want us to be, you know. Together. Eventually. However that looks for us.”

“I’d... I’d like that,” Goro said quietly, burrowing back down into Ren’s chest again.

“Good,” Ren said. 

Goro relaxed; it wasn’t exactly that he’d been worried about that conversation, so much as it had weighed on him, lurking in the back of his mind. But it wasn’t the only thing taking up space. “Am I a Phantom Thief now?”

“Do you want to be?”

Even though he’d been thinking about it for quite a while, Goro still hesitated. “What happens if I say I don’t know?”

“You have to turn in your member card, and we’ll issue you a prorated discount on any club dues.”

“You jerk.” Goro rolled his eyes and pushed himself into a sitting position, shoving a little harder on Ren than was strictly necessary.

Ren laughed easily. “Look, you know I want you on the team. You’re our best fighter, you’re smart enough to keep up with Makoto, and you know as much about the metaverse as anyone.”

Goro rolled his eyes again, flushing a little under the praise.  _ “You’re  _ the best fighter. Don’t give me that false modesty shit.” 

“No, I’ve just got like a million personas to choose from. Big difference.” 

It was pointless to argue about it, not to mention having no bearing on the issue of whether Goro wanted to be a Phantom Thief. “But what about the others? They wouldn’t want me around again, surely.”

Ren’s smile faded and he sighed. Scrubbing his hands through his hair, he said, “What about  _ you?  _ Let’s not worry about anyone else for a second. What do  _ you  _ want?”

On one hand, it was an easy question with an easy answer: Goro wanted everything that came along with being a Phantom Thief. He wanted the friendship, the camaraderie, the sense of purpose, not to mention the proximity to Ren. 

But thinking back on the dinner that evening, Goro knew it wasn’t that simple. As much as Ren believed that Goro had already paid his dues for the things he’d done, that didn’t mean the others agreed. Futaba seemed relatively comfortable with Goro’s presence, but Haru was very quiet, sitting as far away from Goro as she could. Or was she always that quiet? Goro didn’t know her well enough to say. Perhaps she was merely tolerating his presence out of deference to Ren’s now-obvious affection for him. Was that fair to her?

More to Ren’s question, did Goro want to spend more time with the victims of his crimes? Or would that be tantamount to self-flagellation? And what about the new dynamic between himself and Ren? Would that undermine the cohesion of the group? 

As Goro wrestled with the questions, Ren yawned. “Sorry,” he said, belatedly covering his mouth. “I really should get some sleep. If all goes well and Shido confesses before the election this weekend, I need to start going back to classes next week. Anyway, you don’t have to answer me tonight. It’s not like we’ve got any targets looming.”

“Right,” Goro nodded absently. He’d been so focused on the immediate future that he’d forgotten all about school. It only brought up another round of questions. It was clear that Shido and at least some of his associates knew he was alive. How dangerous would it be for him to go back to school? Even if he could, did he want to face his peers as a disgraced failure? Would he have to move into the omega dormitory? Would he be able to graduate? What about college, or a job? What was he going to  _ do  _ with the rest of his life? 

“Hey.” Ren’s voice was gentle, hushed, as if Goro were a wild bird he didn’t want to startle. “Hey, it’s going to be all right. C’mon, let’s get some sleep.” He held out his hand. 

Goro took it, rising to his feet and following Ren to the bed. He wasn’t at all sure that it  _ would  _ be all right. He wasn’t sure of anything -- his desires, his future -- hell, Goro was barely even sure of his own  _ identity. _ But whoever he might be tomorrow, for now he was exhausted, and Ren’s bed was warm and comfortable and exactly where he wanted to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates are going to slow down a bit -- I've burned through my buffer of chapters! The next one is largely written, but I don't like to post until I have a clear idea of what's coming after, so I won't post 21 until 22 is drafted, and so on and so forth. 
> 
> I knew dealing with the Yaldy bits was gonna be like pulling teeth, and guess what. it is.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akechi has a few realizations; Ren talks about his past.

There was something amazing about sleeping next to an alpha, Akechi realized. Now that he’d shared a bed with Ren several times, there was no mistaking it: Akechi slept much deeper and more restfully than he did alone. Was it the pheromones? Or maybe it was a function of psychology more than biology; perhaps for once Akechi could truly relax, not only because of Ren’s protective alpha influence, but also because Akechi trusted him.

Whatever it was, when Akechi stirred to wakefulness the following morning, he felt a thousand times better than he had the previous evening. He felt rested, relaxed, rejuvenated. 

He also felt aroused. Very aroused.

Not that he could do anything about it; Ren was curled around him as the big spoon, trapping him against the wall. The only way to get out of bed would be to clamber over Ren, who was still asleep. With a deep breath -- not quite a yawn -- Akechi shifted his hips minutely, trying to free his morning erection from the fabric holding it taut. 

Except it wasn’t just fabric that was snagged around Akechi’s cock; Ren’s hand was also resting over the sheet. So all Akechi managed to do was to gently rub himself against Ren’s palm. 

As soon as he realized what happened, Akechi gasped quietly and tried to move his hips out of the way. This served to grind his ass against Ren; if the heat and hard outline was anything to go by, he was just as horny as Akechi.

Ren groaned very, very quietly. His arms tightened, pulling them closer together, while his hand curled ever so loosely around Akechi’s cock.

Akechi bit his lip. He wanted to do it again, on purpose this time, but he wasn’t sure that was a smart idea. The sun was coming up, which meant that Sojiro would be arriving any minute. Rather than dispel his arousal, the thought of possibly being caught or overheard made Akechi’s cock twitch.

Ren inhaled sharply, his fingers curling tighter, cupping Akechi’s shaft. He flexed his hips at the same time, wedging himself against Akechi’s ass.

Hardly daring to breathe, Akechi slowly pushed himself into Ren’s hand, then rocked backwards against his cock.

Ren moaned, so quiet that Akechi felt it more than heard it.

Swallowing hard, Akechi did it again. And again. And  _ again. _

After half a minute they were both panting. Ren nuzzled along Akechi’s hairline, dragging his teeth along the skin as he stroked Akechi through the fabric. Ren’s cock sprang free from his boxers and was now nestled quite firmly between the globes of Akechi’s ass, at least as far as it could go given his own underwear separating them.

Akechi knew that at some point, Ren would stop to ask if they could fuck. But Akechi didn’t want him to ask; he wanted Ren to  _ take.  _ So Akechi started to whisper:  _ more. yes. fuck. please. please. please.  _

Ren’s breathing was beginning to grow ragged. He started to nip at Akechi’s ear and neck, fumbling to push the sheets away and pull down Akechi’s boxers. 

Akechi squirmed, trying to help, frantically yanking at his waistband. In the chaos, Ren somehow flipped Akechi so that he was flat on his stomach. But his legs were still together, his thighs tangled in the mess of sheets and underwear, leaving his ass exposed.

Akechi was about to untangle himself when he felt Ren’s weight on top of his thighs. And then Ren began to massage his ass, exposing his entrance.

Although Akechi wasn’t on his heat, he was still quite wet. He shivered, not so much from the brief sensation of cool air hitting the moisture so much as the prospect of Ren _ looking  _ at him there. 

Ren leaned over him. He nuzzled along the shell of Akechi’s ear with his nose as he gently began to prod a fingertip into Akechi’s entrance. “I’m going to fuck you,” he breathed, barely audible.

Akechi nodded frantically, stifling his moan into the pillow as Ren sank into him to the second knuckle. 

But Ren wasn’t done teasing him yet, apparently. “I’m going to fuck you just like this,” he whispered, adding another finger to stretch Akechi open. “Fuck you just the way I like while you can’t move.”

Akechi continued to nod, whimpering  _ yes yes yes _ into the pillow. 

“You’re going to take my knot.” Ren’s fingers withdrew, spreading Akechi’s fluids all around.

Akechi prayed that Ren wasn’t about to stop for lube. He was wet enough that he could get fucked without injury, and Akechi very much wanted to feel himself stretch around Ren’s cock.

A second later he got what he wanted: the tip of Ren’s cock begin to push inexorably into him.

Akechi bore down, forcing himself to relax as much as possible. Not for his own sake -- if anything, he  _ wanted  _ it to hurt -- but because he was afraid Ren would stop if he thought Akechi couldn’t take it.

But Ren didn’t stop. He hissed, swearing under his breath as he invaded Akechi’s body inch by inch, finally bottoming out. Not only that, but he put his full weight on Akechi’s back, rocking his cock in and out ever so slightly, pressing on Akechi’s prostate with each shift.

Akechi was completely trapped underneath Ren. There was literally nothing he could do but lie there and take it, and it was perfect in every way. The thought that he might not even get to come had him gasping as he grew more wet, his body relaxing further, priming him for what was to follow.

Ren hummed, though whether it was out of amusement or arousal or both was difficult to tell. “That’s it, you want this,” he whispered.

Nodding into the pillow, Akechi tried to keep as quiet and still as he could. 

“Good. So good. Just lie there and take it, that’s it.” Ren began to thrust for real, pulling away enough to get some space between their bodies, then ramming home again. 

It was as much as he could do with the threat of discovery looming over them. Although they were still alone in the building, Sojiro might show up at any second. And anyway it wasn’t exactly a real bed; if Ren moved too much, the whole thing might shake apart. 

Akechi wished Ren could fuck him harder, make him howl and squeal. Maybe later, once the cafe closed, they could put the futon on the floor so Ren could fuck the life out of him. Or maybe Ren could tie him up, gag him, smack his ass, bite him....

As the images began to flash through Akechi’s head, he realized that indeed, there  _ would  _ be a next time. In fact, there would be many, many more next times. There was nothing stopping them from being together. They could do whatever they wanted. 

In the moment, all he could think about was the myriad of ways he wanted Ren to fuck him. Ohhh, to be there when Ren went into rut, used over and over and over, fucked until he was stretched out and constantly leaking, laying semi-conscious, exhausted from being fucked so often, sore and bruised and covered in teeth marks.... Akechi moaned into the pillow, feeling his orgasm begin to coalesce.

At the same time, he felt the bulk of Ren’s knot start to press on him with each thrust. Ren was panting, shifting his rhythm to fuck Akechi shallow and fast, no doubt trying to get as close to the edge as possible before cramming every inch of that glorious knot into Akechi. 

Akechi whined, trying to stave off his own climax. But there was nothing he could do; he couldn’t move, couldn’t even get a hand underneath himself to grip the base of his cock. In his desperation he clenched some muscles low in his core, but that only made it feel better.

“Oh  _ fuck,”  _ Ren grunted. “Do that again.”

Trying to stay quiet, Akechi did as he was told, tightening himself around Ren. Somehow it seemed to push his climax further off without reducing the pleasure. 

And then it was too much, in the best possible way. Akechi couldn’t help it; he squealed in pleasure, biting the pillow as he began to come. Even trapped as he was underneath Ren, his hips jerked, his cock spurting against the sheets. 

Ren slammed his knot inside, rutting wildly as he flooded Akechi. He moaned, too loud for the quiet morning, loud enough that anyone walking by would be able to hear. In desperation he bit the soft flesh where Akechi’s neck met his shoulder, grunting and panting. 

It wasn’t a true bite, not like they’d done before, but the sensation was familiar enough to make Akechi shudder with the aftershocks of his own orgasm. 

Even as the pain registered, it abated. And then Ren was pulling them both to lay on their sides, spooning again. He tenderly kissed the mark his teeth had left as he pulled the blanket over them both before the chill December air could set into their sweaty skin. 

For a moment or two they just lay quietly as their hearts returned to a normal pace and their breathing slowed. All too soon, Akechi began to feel a vague unease, as if someone was going to take this contentment away from him. 

But then Ren squeezed Akechi with his arms. “Good morning, beautiful.”

Akechi wasn’t expecting it. Even though they were quite literally sharing the most intimate encounter possible, hearing Ren use such an affectionate word felt... not wrong, exactly, but not comfortable, either. Without meaning to, he cringed. 

“Oh my god,” Ren said, inhaling sharply before Akechi could say anything. “You know I can feel it in my dick when you do that.”

“What?”

“You cringed when I called you beautiful -- ahhh you did it again! Damn, next time I’m just gonna get off by calling you pet names.” Ren made an over-the-top growling noise in the back of his throat.

“Oh for -- you will do no such thing,” Akechi said, rolling his eyes. “Honestly, you are the worst sometimes.”

“Yeah,” Ren agreed easily. “But unless you tell me to stop, I’m gonna keep calling you that. ‘Cause, you know, it’s true and all.”

Akechi flushed, immediately wondering if somehow Ren could feel that in his dick, too. “Ugh,” he grumbled, trying not to smile. It was the principle of the thing. 

Somehow they managed to get cleaned up before Sojiro arrived for the day. After breakfast, they went back upstairs before any customers showed up. Ren sat at his desk and began to putter around with some kind of craft project, so Akechi grabbed a book and settled on the couch. It felt altogether domestic.

Or at least, it did until Futaba showed up a half hour later, tromping up to the attic with no preamble and plopping herself down at the table. She opened her laptop and began working.

Ren barely gave her a glance, concentrating on whatever he was making at the desk. A moment later, Morgana hopped onto the window ledge outside and tapped at the pane with his paw.

Ren reached up and opened the window. “Boss decided we needed a chaperone, huh.”

“Yep,” Futaba said, still typing away. “So you don’t waste your day fucking like rabbits, I guess. Prude.” 

Akechi blushed, cringing behind his book. But Ren just snorted and went back to what he was doing. 

“Anyway it’s good I came over. Something funky is happening with Nishima’s site,” she said, pushing up her glasses.

“His name is ‘Mishima’,” Ren said. “What’s the matter?”

“Well you know how over the summer it got hacked to make us seem popular? It’s  _ kinda  _ like that? But... not?”

Ren turned to look at her, peering over his glasses.

“Ugh I hate that look. Listen, it’s really hard to explain, but like, this feels weird. The code is... ughhhhhhh how can I explain it? Hacking leaves fingerprints. This is like,  _ poof.”  _ Futaba mimed a small explosion with her fingers. “It’s like the site is being cut off. No, wait, not cut off, exactly. Like the volume is being turned down. Even when people hated us the most, there was a lot of traffic, you know? Now it’s just like... the hit count is slowing down, but it’s like....” She made a noise of frustration, apparently unable to explain. 

Narrowing his eyes, Ren swiveled his chair around to face her. “Maybe people are just less interested?” He didn’t sound convinced.

Futaba shook her head. “Like, even if that was true, it happens in, like... urgh. It happens in clumps.”

“Clumps?” Morgana asked. 

“Augh, words hard. Like, okay. When a site gets popular, it’s not a straight line. It’s exponential. So, nothing nothing nothing, then one day an influencer links to it, then boom.”

“That’s been my experience,” Akechi nodded. 

“Right. And it kinda goes in reverse, too. Like, once you get cancelled, you’re done. It’s like, it’s like....” Futaba scrunched her eyes closed. “AH! It’s like when the power goes out in a big city. Big blocks go out all at once, boom boom boom. But what’s happening now is like individual apartments are losing power all over the city at the same rate, ping ping ping. It makes no sense. But there’s no hacking happening. It’s like... I don’t even know what it’s like.”

Morgana tilted his head. “You’re losing me with this boom boom ping ping poof stuff.”

Then Akechi cleared his throat. “If I might... just to clarify, are you saying that the hit counter is now decreasing at a linear rate? As in, it’s losing about the same number of clicks every day?”

“Yeah.”

He frowned. “I agree, that’s very unnatural. Even people who hate the Phantom Thieves will still check the site, even if they don’t interact with the polling mechanism or forum.”

Ren stopped tinkering, spinning in his desk chair. He twisted a lock of his hair as he stared intently at Akechi.

“What is it?” 

“You know a lot about social media. What makes people stop visiting a site?”

Akechi shrugged. “It varies. Most people have very strong online habits; they visit the same few sites over and over. Eventually, if a site fails to hold someone’s interest, they may stop, but almost every social media platform continually updates to prevent this from happening. There’s always something new to see, which is what keeps people clicking, even long after they stop getting anything of value out of it.”

Ren’s eyes narrowed. “What if they forget?”

Akechi blinked. “I’m not sure I follow.”

“What if someone suddenly forgets the Phantom Thieves exist?”

Frowning, Akechi considered it. “I suppose that would affect things, but even still, those people would still have site bookmarks and browser tabs open. As soon as they saw those things, wouldn’t they remember?”

“Why are you so concerned, anyway?” Morgana asked.

“I’m thinking about that door in Mementos,” Ren said cryptically. 

“In any event, we’ll find out soon enough,” Morgana said. “The election is this weekend, right? All the news today has been that Shido’s ‘sick’ from campaigning so hard. But he’ll have to give a press conference at some point. Once everyone sees that his heart’s been stolen, that door’ll open for sure.” Morgana nodded confidently and began to groom himself.

“Eugh, do you gotta lick your ass right there on the desk?” Futaba scrunched her nose. 

“Excuse me, I’m grooming the back of my leg! It is not my -- ugh, you humans are the disgusting ones!”

At the same moment, Ren and Futaba’s phones pinged.

Morgana hopped down to read over Ren’s shoulder. “Ryuji’s never gonna make it through his exams. He needs to put the phone away and pay attention. Ren, you tell him I said that!”

Akechi realized they were all reacting to the Phantom Thieves group chat. At one time, he was supposedly a member, but activity had ceased after Sae-san’s palace. He realized, belatedly, that whatever chat they had included him in was only a ruse. He felt a sting of retroactive embarrassment and disappointment at being excluded, even though it was fully justified. It also brought to mind that he still wasn’t certain he wanted to be a Phantom Thief at all.

As if reading his thoughts, Futaba said, “Oh right, Akechi-kun, we need to get you in the chat since you’re one of us now.” 

“Oh that’s....” Akechi cleared his throat. 

“Akechi-san is still mulling over whether he wants to join,” Ren said easily, not a hint of judgement in his tone.

“Awww, really?” Futaba clucked her tongue in disappointment. “Well... I won’t pressure you ‘cause I hate it when people do that to me, but if you  _ want  _ some peer pressure you lemme know, ‘kay? I’ll be on standby.”

Bewildered, Akechi could only reply, “That’s... incredibly thoughtful. Thank you.”

“You got it,” Futaba said, her fingers flying over her keyboard as she peered at the screen. 

Akechi stared at her for a few seconds, still not comprehending how at ease she seemed around him. Eventually he realized Ren was watching  _ him  _ watch Futaba, so he hurriedly opened the book and pretended to read.

Although Ren had told him more than once that the others didn’t think he was a monster, experiencing Futaba’s apparent ease with his presence was still difficult to understand. Then again, the others had been on to him from the very start; they had a lot longer to come to terms with his motivations than he originally thought. 

Did he want to be a Phantom Thief? Akechi still didn’t know. Worse, he didn’t know  _ why  _ he didn’t know. There was a stubborn sense of resistance to the idea, but what was causing it was a mystery. All he knew was that whenever he tried to think about it, he began to feel the tiniest spark of panic.

Which made no sense! There was no cause for fear, and yet even now, sitting on the couch in a perfectly safe place, Akechi began to feel trapped. 

“Akechi, have you ever played Punch Ouch?” Ren asked suddenly.

“Huh?” Startled from his reverie, Akechi blinked at Ren in confusion.

“Punch Ouch,” Ren repeated. He stood up from the desk and fiddled with the game console for a moment, handing Akechi one of the controllers. 

“I can’t say that I have,” Akechi said. 

“You’ll love it.” Ren pulled a chair up so they could both face the television. “Here, I’ll do a level solo so you can see how it works.”

Futaba snorted. “Blind leading the blind, huh?”

The opening screen showed the most recent high scores; Futaba’s initials dominated the list. 

“I see what you mean,” Akechi murmured, wincing as he watched Ren’s clumsy attempts to win the match on screen. 

“Oh ye of little faith,” Ren murmured, his brow furrowed in concentration. A moment later his digital fighter was defeated, rather soundly if the crude animation was anything to go by.

“Well, now I know what  _ not  _ to do,” Akechi said.

Futaba cackled. “When you level up we can go head to head,” she said, not looking up from her laptop. “I’ll let you get the hang of it first. Maybe you’ll last longer than ol’ Glassjaw over there.”

The rest of the day went quickly, between bouts of gaming, lunch, and an impromptu binge of The Running Dead on DVD. After the last episode ended, Futaba stood and stretched. “Alright kiddos, I’m out. Hopefully Sojiro will calm down a bit so I don’t have to come back tomorrow. I mean hanging out is fun and all but my room is way better.”

“It’s fine, I know I can’t compete with multiple monitors,” Ren said.

After she and Morgana left, Ren suggested they head to Shibuya to grab Akechi’s things from Iwai. On their way to the station, Ren said, “Sorry about before. I mean, springing that game on you. I thought you could use a distraction -- you seemed like you were freaking out a little.”

“Did I?” 

“That or the page you were reading was super interesting, because you didn’t turn it for like five minutes.”

Akechi rolled his eyes; of course Ren would notice such a thing. “I wasn’t  _ freaking out,” _ he said. “I was just trying to think.”

Ren nodded. “Okay.”

Something about his tone -- mild, almost condescending -- rubbed Akechi the wrong way. “What, you don’t believe me?” 

Ren stopped short on the sidewalk, turning to look at Akechi. “I never said that.” He tilted his head. “Are you mad at me?”

“No! No, I just --” Akechi realized his voice carried too far in the cold air, as a passing old woman shot him a glance. He also realized he was being ridiculous. Akechi huffed, balling his hands into fists in an attempt to curb his sudden pique. “Sorry. I’m not... used to this,” he said, waving vaguely between them.

“Me neither,” Ren said. 

“Yes but the difference is you’re just so good at it. And I’m snapping and snarling like a cornered dog.”

Ren regarded him for a moment. “Let’s get something to eat,” he said. 

“But Iwai’s waiting for us?”

“He’ll be in his shop all evening,” Ren said, leading Akechi down a side street.

A few minutes later, they settled into a secluded booth at a second- rate ramen place. “So, first off, I’m not naturally good at this stuff,” Ren said. “I had a lot of help in that regard. And second, I really wish you could give yourself some credit. You’ve been through more than any of us. No one expects you to suddenly be fine all the time.”

Akechi frowned, toying with the corner of his napkin. He was fairly certain that he hadn’t, in fact, been through more than the others, but it wasn’t an argument he was willing to have at the moment. So he turned the subject back to Ren. “A lot of help? From who?”

Ren shrugged. “A bar owner named Lala-chan, a politician named No-good Tora, my homeroom teacher who is also my maid, a reporter who drinks too much, a Shogi idol, and my dad,” he said, ticking off the list on his fingers.

Akechi raised his eyebrows. “There was a time when I would have killed to have that information,” he said ruefully. 

“I know,” Ren smirked. “That’s why I wrote my journal in code. Anyway are you going to tell me what’s bothering you, or are you going to keep trying to change the subject?”

Their food arrived just then, which gave Akechi a chance to gather his thoughts. But it wasn’t enough. And yet, it was clear Ren wasn’t about to let this go. “I don’t know,” he finally muttered.

“What don’t you know?”

_ “Anything,” _ Akechi hissed. “I don’t know what’s bothering me,” he said. “I don’t know if I want to be a Phantom Thief. I don’t know what I’m doing tomorrow, or next week, or next year. I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t know anything, and I’m completely dependent on you and I  _ hate  _ it.”

As soon as the words left Akechi’s mouth, he froze. Not just in the sense that he stopped moving: a chill ran through him, as if his blood had suddenly turned to ice water. 

Ren raised his eyebrows. “Oh.”

“I’m sorry,” Akechi said. “I didn’t mean to say that.”

Ren tilted his head. “But you  _ meant  _ it. Of course you did, fuck, that’s so obvious, of course you would hate it.” He fiddled with his dinner, poking at his noodles. 

Akechi couldn’t parse his reaction. “You’re not upset?”

“I mean, I’m upset on your behalf. But I’m not upset  _ at  _ you. You’re an independent person -- you clawed your way up from nothing, and now everything you built for yourself is gone. Of course you would hate that. I would hate it too.”

Feeling as though he’d dodged a bullet, Akechi exhaled sharply, slumping in his seat as the tension washed out of him. There was a palpable sense of relief, not just that Ren wasn’t angry, but also in finally knowing what had been bothering him. It felt kind of like getting a boil lanced; Akechi was still sore and tender, but the pressure was gone. 

But Ren’s reaction brought up a host of other things. “If I were you I would be so annoyed right now. In fact I would have lost patience ages ago. How can you stand me?” 

“Because I -- I like you,” Ren said. His cheeks flushed as he hurriedly took a big mouthful of noodles.

“Well I like dogs but I’m not going to reach out and pet one that bites,” Akechi said. 

Ren spluttered with laughter, grasping for a napkin. “And like I said, I’ve had a lot of good teachers,” he added. “My dad, he used to say --” Suddenly his smile vanished; he glanced at Akechi with a stony expression. “Anyway. I’ve learned a lot about people since I came here. That’s all.”

The sudden change in his demeanor was startling. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you mention your father,” Akechi said carefully.

Ren frowned at his bowl. 

“I take it this is a delicate issue,” Akechi said. “I apologize for bringing it up.”

Ren looked up at him intently, squinting as if he was trying to determine Akechi’s motives. “You don’t know about my parents?”

Akechi raised his eyebrows. “I know they’re alive, that your father is a sanitation worker and your mother is a nurse, that they live in Inaba. Honestly, there didn’t seem to be anything worth investigating.”

Sighing, Ren shook his head.  _ “Sanitation worker, _ ” he muttered to himself. “Guess that finally came in handy.”

“We don’t have to talk about it,” Akechi said politely. Inwardly, he was aflame with curiosity, but he would never admit it.

Ren took a deep breath. “My father is an omega and my mother is a beta.” 

Akechi blinked in confusion. “I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

“They met at a support group for victims of... assault.”

The delicate pause in Ren’s words was telling. “Oh,” Akechi said. “I had no idea.” He shifted uncomfortably. Sexual assault wasn’t the most comfortable of topics, after all. 

Ren continued, his tone matter-of-fact. “Dad was already pregnant with me when they met. His university pressured him to drop out when he decided to keep the... the baby. He would’ve been an engineer.... Anyway, he and Mom got along so well that they decided to get married and raise me together. But Inaba is a small town. Everyone knows their history. My history. My dad is a garbage man because that’s the only job he could get. He’s the most brilliant man I know, and the kindest, and he taught me so much....” Abruptly, Ren stopped talking, his eyes welling as he cast his gaze down to his dinner. 

It was as if Akechi was seeing Ren for the first time. Or rather, it was as if a two-dimensional image suddenly gained a third dimension, becoming solid, real. Everything made sense now. “Your parents sound very brave.”

Ren nodded at his ramen. “They are. Nothing gets them down, not the rumors, or the way people still talk about them.... Even as an alpha, I was bullied constantly. God, I got into so many fights. Dad always said, as long as I didn’t throw the first punch, or if I was helping someone else, I wouldn’t get in trouble with him or mom. That’s why they sent me here. They thought I’d be better off where no one knew about me. And that’s why I was taking the alpha blockers. It wasn’t for the team, it was to help me fit in at school.”

Akechi had long wondered what had motivated Ren to intervene in Shido’s attempted assault, rather than simply calling the police, or even just recording the incident from a safe distance. But now, Akechi realized it would have been more surprising if Ren had failed to act. 

A few moments ago, Akechi felt as though he’d been dipped in ice; now, he was flooded with warmth as he gazed at Ren. He already admired Ren, and respected him, and of course the physical attraction was self-evident. But this feeling was... Akechi had no idea. Was this what it was like, to care for someone, and to be cared for in return? It was like nothing he’d experienced, a wellspring of emotion that felt immense. Certainly too large for the rundown ramen place; it felt as though the roof might blow off or the walls might collapse from it. 

“You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met,” Akechi blurted out. “You make me feel....” His words cowered on the tip of his tongue. Such things were not meant to be said over a cheap meal on a greasy table, colors washed out by the fitful fluorescent bulbs sputtering overhead. 

Ren’s head jerked up. He stared at Akechi, his eyes wide. “Feel what?”

Akechi swallowed hard. There were any number of ways to answer.  _ Grateful. Lucky. Blessed. _ Hell, even  _ happy.  _ But although all of them were true, none captured the full range of what he wished he could express:  _ loved.  _ But he didn’t just feel loved -- he felt love itself, love for Ren. He’d never felt this before, but what else could it be? 

He would say it, someday. But not today. Instead, Akechi said simply, “Everything. You make me feel everything.”

Ren blinked rapidly, nodding. “Yeah. That’s how I feel too.”

The moment felt so fragile that Akechi was afraid reality would shatter around them. And then it passed. “Anyway, it’s good you didn’t tell me before,” Akechi said, turning his attention to his nearly-cold noodles. “I would have been inclined to take a little trip to Inaba and rain holy hell on your classmates. No one gets to make my archenemy suffer but me.”

Ren burst out laughing, loud enough that a few heads turned in their direction. “Damn, missed my chance, huh.”

“I’m afraid so. Now the best you can hope for is to dazzle them all with the handsome, mysterious boyfriend you managed to snag in the big city.”

Ren grinned at him. “You know, I think I can live with that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do love the headcanon that Ren is from Inaba.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing good ever lasts, and Akechi is fucking sick of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! Obviously this turned out not to be the last chapter after all. As with the rest of this fic, the story refused to stick to the outline. Oops? Anyway, enjoy!

Nothing good ever lasts. 

That’s what they said, right? Akechi had never really thought about the phrase before, probably because there hadn’t been much that would qualify as “good” about his life. Yet ever since he woke up face down in the grass outside the National Diet building, alive if not well, things had steadily gotten better and better.

The high point was probably the day before the election. Rumors were swirling that Shido was going to make some big, last-minute announcement -- not unusual for a politician to give a final push for votes. The anticipation that Shido was finally going to confess, and in so doing demolish any chance of getting elected, filled Akechi with a dizzying glee. 

But there was no announcement. In fact Shido’s campaign was silent all day. By the time the late evening news had ended, Akechi began to worry. Nonetheless, Akechi curbed his anxiety; it was still possible that perhaps Shido would lose. 

He did not lose. In fact, he won by a staggering margin. 

Even then, Akechi didn’t despair. In the end, he did get to see Shido’s confession after all. They all did, gathered in LeBlanc to watch Shido’s victory speech. 

It wasn’t exactly what he anticipated, though it was still satisfying to see Shido break down on national television. But even that was tainted -- of all the terrible things Shido admitted, he made no mention of the little boy he’d neglected and forgotten, nor of the woman who had taken her own life as a result. 

Still, Akechi raised his glass while the others cheered to the confession. He wasn’t about to let his own private pain mar what was supposed to be a celebration.

“So, what’ll happen, you think?” Ryuji asked, helping himself to some snacks. “Like, will he give up his position or what?”

“There’s bound to be public outcry,” Makoto said. “No doubt he’ll resign once it all comes crashing down around him.”

“With Niijima-san on the case, I’m sure we can rest easy,” Haru nodded. “I have faith that she will succeed.”

Akechi stayed quiet. Not that he doubted Sae-san’s ability as a prosecutor, but he couldn’t bring himself to match Haru’s optimism.

Apparently he wasn’t the only one. After their celebration, Ren and Akechi went upstairs to hang out for a bit before bed.

Ren’s phone, inevitably, pinged constantly as his many associates reached out after Shido’s confession. Most of these texts he answered in a single reply, but one conversation seemed to go longer than the others.

“Everything ok?” Akechi asked.

“It’s Mishima,” Ren said. “He’s noticed there’s something off with the site like Futaba said. He’s going to change up the poll question and see if that makes any difference.” 

By the crease between Ren’s brows, Akechi guessed he didn’t have much confidence that would matter. He said as such.

Ren sighed and put his phone away. “I just... I’ve had a bad feeling about all this for a long time,” he said.

“To be honest, I do as well. I don’t share the optimism of the others that Shido will simply step down. For all his power, he’s also at the mercy of his army of sycophants. Sae-san said he was taken to a hospital -- that must be their doing. No doubt they will attempt to prop him up as a puppet, at least in the short term.”

Nodding glumly, Ren rose from the bed and stretched. “It’s more than that though. I just can’t shake the feeling there’s something going on. Something bigger than this.”

“You’ve said that several times now,” Akechi noted. “Might I ask what makes you feel that way?”

“Intuition,” Ren said. He shook his head. “Not much to go on, I know. Anyway, let’s get some sleep. I’m sure things will seem better in the morning.”

But the days that followed brought only more confusion and disappointment. With Ren at school, Akechi had little to do but try to help Sae-san shore up her case. He spent hours typing up notes on one of Futaba’s old laptops, trying to provide as many names and dates as he could. Even though he provided a voluminous amount of information, it felt like they were trying to bail out a sinking ship with a teacup. It became obvious that the proxy Director of the SIU was doing everything he could to throw up roadblocks, even going so far as to throw out Akechi’s information on the grounds that it was hearsay, since Sae-san wouldn’t reveal the source of her leads. Worse still, Sae-san wasn’t allowed to follow up on any of the information Akechi provided. 

By Friday, things fell apart completely. Sae-san was taken off the case. The media appeared to be completely under the thumb of Shido’s band of cronies. Shido himself was still “under medical observation”, which Akechi took to mean that he was essentially a prisoner of his sycophants. Under different circumstances, Akechi would have found some satisfaction in the irony. 

Mostly, however, Akechi felt himself slipping into despair. Nothing he tried to do to fix the situation had mattered in the slightest; all of his work with Sae-san was now in the trash. This meant that Shido’s inner circle knew that he was working against them. Surely it would only be a matter of time before they decided to tie up all the loose ends. Akechi was already largely presumed dead; it would be quite easy to make that a permanent situation.

Worse still, whatever Ren’s intuition had picked up before -- Futaba had taken to calling it a _disturbance of the force --_ was now readily apparent to all of them. It was as if the Phantom Thieves were being erased from collective memory. 

It wasn’t just that they were suddenly unpopular again. It was as if history was being revised, as if the Phantom Thieves had never mattered much at all. 

There was only one possible explanation for such a phenomenon: something was affecting the cognition of everyone in the city. Just what it was, they didn’t know, but they knew exactly where to look.

Mementos.

They gathered Friday evening in the attic of Leblanc. Unlike any of the previous meetings of the Phantom Thieves that Akechi had attended, there was a palpable air of tension and confusion as they discussed one last trip to Mementos. 

“This shit just don’t make _sense,”_ Ryuji said for the third time.

“I know.” Makoto sat ramrod straight, her hands clenched in her lap. “But Morgana has a point. Mementos still holds many secrets; we have to at least try and get to the bottom of things.”

“That is a terrible pun,” Yusuke frowned. “But I agree.”

“Me too,” Ann chimed in. “Ugh, I hate going down there, it’s so creepy. But it’s the only way.”

One after another, the others assented. With each agreement, it felt as though the resolve of the group as a whole strengthened. Everything was still shit, but suddenly that didn’t matter so much. Akechi felt his own mood lift, even if he wasn’t technically included. 

But... he could be. “What do you say, Ace Detective?” Ren asked, adjusting his glasses. “You in?”

There was nothing in his tone to indicate that they were a couple, no obvious favoritism or anything like that. But none was needed; everyone in the room knew Ren and Akechi were mates. Akechi glanced around the room, suddenly nervous. “The thing is...” he began to say. 

“Oh don’t give us that bullshit,” Ryuji huffed, leaping to his feet. “You _know_ this is wrong. Ain’t you just as angry as the rest of us?” He jabbed his finger into Akechi’s chest.

“Angry?” Akechi blinked. 

“Yeah dude, ain’t that what bein’ a Phantom Thief is all about? Fucking sick of all these piece of shit adults ruining it for us.” Ryuji shoved his hands in his pockets and spun on his heel, kicking at an imaginary target. 

“Angry,” Akechi said again, staring into the middle distance. 

_Was_ he angry? Anger -- rage, specifically -- had always been the purview of Loki, the one emotion Akechi could inhabit with no restriction. Ever since he woke up with a Loki-shaped hole in his mind, Akechi had gradually become more attuned to his feelings. But the wellspring of anger which had sustained him for so long had seemingly run dry. Or had it?

_Ain’t that what bein’ a Phantom Thief is all about?_ Ryuji’s words echoed through Akechi’s mind. The last few weeks, he’d viewed the decision to join the Phantom Thieves as some sort of consolation prize, a perk of being Ren’s mate. But to join because he was angry, because he wanted to fight back, to change things....

“Yes, I _am_ angry,” Akechi said, trying the words on for size. As soon as the words left his mouth, he felt... strong. Confident. In a way, he felt like himself again, only more whole, more authentic. He felt like the person he wanted to become two and a half years ago, on the cusp of making a contract with the shadow of a trickster god. Only now, it was _all_ Goro Akechi. No help from Loki, or even from Ren. He wanted to be a Phantom Thief because --

“I’m fucking _pissed,”_ Akechi said, his voice hardening. “I went through so much to get Shido to confess, and now he’s not even going to face any consequences? Fuck that.” 

“Yeah!” Morgana shouted, hopping up on the desk. “That’s the spirit! I knew you had it in you.”

The others cheered too, clapping and laughing and hooting. They had an impromptu toast of whatever drinks were handy -- half empty cans of Second Maid and 1Up, bottles of water, Haru’s teacup. 

“Tomorrow, then,” Morgana said. “We’ll get our answers tomorrow.”

* * *

_Nothing good ever lasts._

The depths of Mementos did, indeed, contain answers.

It also contained horrors beyond the power of any of their imagination. 

For at the center of it all hulked a twisted god: Yaldabaoth, the manifestation of the collective desire for control, a being which played with humanity as if it were an amusing puppet. The Phantom Thieves were mere pawns in his eldritch pastime. Faced with their wrath, Yaldabaoth punched a hole through reality, combining universe and metaverse into one.

In the end, though, the Phantom Thieves prevailed. The details of the battle were a haze of grime and violence; it felt as if they were trapped in that strange reality for days, not hours. But Yaldabaoth ultimately met his defeat. Indeed, the whole metaverse was destroyed in the process.

Dazed and giddy, Ren and Akechi returned to Leblanc to clean up and recover. But as tired as they were, they had too much restless energy to burn off. After seeing Shibuya twisted into a hellscape complete with a rain of blood earlier that day, they both felt the need to reassure themselves that the city was back to normal.

Anyway, it was Christmas Eve, and they were a couple. It felt strange not to mark the day in some fashion. In the end, they decided to wander around Shibuya for a bit, perhaps get a bite to eat at a food stall.

_Nothing good ever lasts._

Sae-san’s text came in just after the courthouse closed for the evening. “Niijima-san wants to meet,” Ren said, staring at his phone in confusion.

Akechi had a sinking sensation in his stomach. “Maybe it’s good news,” he said.

Ren glanced at him, his face grave. “Maybe.”

It was not good news. When they met a short while later, breath steaming in the cold, Sae-san laid it out: without Ren’s testimony, Shido would never be convicted. But providing that testimony would open Ren up to action by the prosecutor’s office. Although the actual ‘crimes’ that Ren could be charged with were minor and almost impossible to prove -- a violation of the Radio Broadcast Law, breaking and entering Okumura Foods and the Madarame residence -- the true issue was that these activities would certainly be viewed as a parole violation. Sae-san saw only one option.

“You want him to _turn himself in??”_ Akechi hissed. “Are you _insane?_ Let me testify. At least I can give a deposition.”

Sae-san’s eyebrows shot up at the disrespectful comment. “It won’t help; the new SIU director will simply throw out the evidence on spurious grounds. But the Special Investigations Unit has no control over the operations of Family Court. I need Amamiya-kun to give testimony directly into the record when he’s questioned. It’s the only way.”

“No,” Akechi said, shaking his head. “That’s a false choice. I refuse to limit myself to that kind of thinking.”

“Goro,” Ren murmured, putting a hand on his elbow. “She’s right. I can take it, trust me. I’ll only be in detention a few months.”

“NO!” Akechi shouted, heedless of the attention it drew. “That’s bullshit, Ren. And you know it. We _all_ know it,” he said, glaring at Sae-san. 

She sighed and rubbed her forehead. “Still as stubborn as ever, I see. Akechi-kun, you of all people know my hands are tied.”

“But mine are not,” Akechi said. “I’m dead, remember? What good is a ghost if he can’t do a little haunting?”

“What are you going to do?” Ren narrowed his eyes.

Akechi didn’t answer directly, his mind whirring. “If Ren wasn’t under probation, what would be the punishment for the other infractions, assuming they could be proven?”

Sae-san barely had to think about it. “Violations of the Radio Broadcast Law carry a fine of up to one million yen, but for a one-time violation, especially something like a prank, the actual fine would be much lower. For the breaking and entering at Okumura Foods, we would probably reduce the charges for a first-time juvenile offender to vandalism for breaking the window. Security footage from the incident was inconclusive. There was no damage at the Madarame residence, so unless Madarame himself pressed charges, there would be no action taken.”

“So a minor fine and a slap on the wrist is what you’re saying. And that’s without Haru Okumura’s testimony that it was she herself that broke the window at her own company while chasing a stray cat, or having Medjed own up to the violation of the Radio Broadcast law.”

“What are you getting at?” Sae-san shifted her weight from foot to foot, clearly losing patience.

“I’m saying if Ren wasn’t under probation to start with, there would be nothing to prosecute.”

“But he _is,”_ Sae-san replied. “And there’s nothing I can do about that. I don’t have a time machine, Akechi-kun, and neither do you. Even if Shido confesses that he was solely responsible for the incident that led to Ren’s arrest in the first place, he’s being held under psychiatric evaluation. They’ll just say he’s raving.”

Akechi gave her a bland smile. “Well then, I’ll just have to find another witness, won’t I? And maybe I can scrounge up some better evidence while I’m at it.”

Sae-san and Ren glanced at each other. “It’s too risky,” Ren said, shaking his head. “If you get involved, you’ll be a target.”

“I’m done hiding,” Akechi snapped. “I’m done being scared. I worked too hard for those assholes to take this all away from me again.”

“Akechi-kun --” Sae-san’s voice was stern, as if she was about to deliver a lecture.

“Don’t worry, I won’t break a single law,” Akechi said, holding up a hand. 

She rolled her eyes. “You still don’t get it. If Amamiya-kun doesn’t turn himself in tomorrow morning, they’re going to come for all of the Phantom Thieves. It’s already in motion.”

Akechi nodded. “No time to lose, then.” He turned to Ren. “I’m sorry, but you’ll probably have to spend a night or two in jail.” 

“Goro, don’t do this,” Ren said. “Please. It’s just a few months, I promise it’s not a big deal to me.”

“But it is to _me,”_ Akechi said vehemently. “It’s _my_ happiness too, Ren. _My_ life. I’m not going to spend it cowering and hiding and playing by bullshit rules to make people happy. No offense,” he said to Sae-san.

“None taken,” she drawled.

Ren stared at him, his jaw working hard. Then, slowly, as if he was fighting it, a grin began to steal across his face. “You just looooove busting me out of jail, huh.”

Akechi burst out in nervous laughter, the tension he’d been holding in his chest melting away. “I suppose I do.”

Ren nodded. “Be careful.”

“I’m always careful,” Akechi said, already taking a few steps away. “See you Monday,” he said. “Day after Christmas. I’ll save you some fried chicken.”

“You better,” Ren called after him.

Akechi strode down the street, his mind wholly occupied by the plan forming in his mind. He pulled out his phone and texted Futaba. As he waited for her to reply, he took off the fake glasses Ann had loaned him and put them in his pocket, shaking his hair out of the ponytail at the same time. 

Futaba was more than eager to help, as he expected. It would take her about an hour to set up, but his request was, as she said, easy-peasy. That done, Akechi’s first stop was into a hair salon. If he was going to do this, he was going to do it right. “Just take an inch or two off and clean up the layers, please,” he said, settling into the chair.

By the time his hair was being blown out to dry, it was clear that the others in the salon recognized him. There was a fair amount of whispered conversation hidden behind magazines, as well as glances cast his way. Finally done, the beautician spun his chair around to face the mirror. “Good?”

Goro Akechi blinked as he saw himself. He looked exactly as he had three months ago. “Excellent.”

After a brief stop at a second-hand electronics store, Akechi headed to a rather seedy dry cleaners tucked into an alley near the station. A laconic old man hardly looked away from the television screen on the wall as he collected the ticket and slid the plastic-wrapped bundle of clothing towards Akechi.

This contained a shirt, pants, tie, and blazer from his old school. Akechi's former life as the Black Mask was surprisingly messy, so he’d taken to keeping a spare change of clothes at the ready just in case. This particular dry cleaners was quite popular with salarymen who occasionally stayed out drinking all night. For the price of a small late fee, they allowed customers six months to pick up their orders before the items would be forfeited.

Akechi changed his clothes in a restroom stall at the station. As he washed his hands, he took a moment to look at himself in the mirror. It was very strange. He looked... well, he looked like Goro Akechi. It occurred to him that he _was_ Goro Akechi. Indeed he’d never really stopped being himself, had he? He’d just forgotten for a little while.

Smiling to himself, he left the restroom, then boarded the next train to the Azabu district. It was time to meet his father.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goro Akechi is back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now with extra Persona 4 Easter Eggs!!

Although some might have assumed that Akechi’s preparations were motivated by vanity, this was not the case. Or rather, it was not  _ entirely  _ true. After all, it was only natural that Akechi wanted to look his best for this final confrontation. 

But it was equally important that he look like himself. Sure, he could have slouched into the lobby of Shido’s building with a ponytail and glasses, wearing Ren’s rumpled castoffs, but surely that would have made the wrong impression. Striding through the door with a fresh haircut, crisp pleats in his trousers, and an impeccably-knotted tie, there could be no doubt that he wasn’t just some damn brat. 

He was Goro Akechi: Ace Detective. More importantly, he was also Goro Akechi: Black Mask.

The burly man behind the security counter blinked in astonishment. “Er, Akechi-san, how pleasant to see you again,” he stammered. His arm moved under the counter; no doubt he was jabbing an alarm button.

Akechi had never dared show up to see Shido without an express invitation. But that was then; this was now. “Ah yes, Takashi-san. Tell me, how is your lovely wife? Last I heard you had a son on the way.” Akechi gave him his most bland, dangerous smile.

The guard went white in the face. “Y-yes,” he coughed. “Born last month.” 

Akechi had long ago learned that the key to a good threat was to make it sound totally innocent. “Everyone happy and healthy? I  _ sincerely  _ hope it stays that way,” Akechi said. 

The guard’s jaw went slack. “Thank you,” he whispered, his voice hoarse.

“I realize it’s quite late, but I need to see Shido-san right away. I apologize for the breach in protocol, but I assure you it’s an emergency.”

“Um.” The guard swallowed hard. “I’m afraid Shido-san is quite ill. He’s to see no one. Doctor’s orders.”

“Is that so?” Akechi looked straight into the security camera over the desk. “I’d hate to have come all this way for nothing.” He turned his attention back to the guard. “Won’t you please call up and see if there might be an exception made?”

Hands shaking, Takashi picked up the phone receiver. “Visitor for Shido-san,” he said, managing not to stammer. “It’s Akechi-san.” He paused. “Yes. Yes, right away.” He hung up. “The elevator will be down in a moment,” he said to Akechi.

The elevator opened a moment later. “If I don’t see you on my way out, have a merry Christmas and a happy New Year, Takashi-san,” Akechi said, stepping through the doors.

As the doors slid closed, Akechi did not let his guard down in the slightest; no doubt his mannerisms were being scrutinized on the security camera footage. He maintained his pleasant demeanor, even going so far as to hum to himself as the elevator carried him upwards to Shido’s suite.

He had good reason to be pleased; so far, his bluff had paid off. Akechi hadn’t actually known Shido was home, the media having reported that he was in a medical facility. But Akechi guessed that was just a ruse -- there were very few hospitals with security tight enough to keep Shido’s actual condition (or lack thereof) under wraps. Far easier to keep him a prisoner in his own home.

And it turned out Akechi was right. So far, so good. 

His next guess turned out to be correct as well: when the elevator doors slid open to reveal the lobby of Shido’s palatial suite, there were two men in nondescript suits with guns trained on him. Behind them stood the interim SIU director, Shido’s chief cognitive scientist, and the second-ranking member of Shido’s political party.

Akechi, however, was prepared. “Inoue-san, Murata-san, and Hirano-san,” he said, naming them deliberately in turn. “Gentlemen, there’s no need for theatrics, is there?” He held up the phone in his hand, the metaverse symbol clearly visible.

“Target acquired,” the tinny female voice said. 

The three unarmed men glanced at each other. This was the only real risk -- indeed, it was the reason that Akechi insisted on moving so quickly. By now Shido’s men probably knew  _ something  _ had happened in the metaverse, but Akechi was banking on them not realizing the extent of the day’s events. Akechi was the only one on Shido’s team with the metaverse app, after all; the other researchers could only speculate about the existence of the cognitive world based on indirect evidence, difficult and time-consuming to collect. 

But it was the weekend. The bulk of Shido’s research team were, presumably, home. There was a chance -- a very small chance -- that the men didn’t yet realize the metaverse had been destroyed completely. 

The whole plan hinged on that. In the pause that ensued, Akechi watched for any sign of nervousness from his opponents.

Murata -- the scientist, probably the only one of the three that truly understood what was at stake -- swallowed hard.

That was all Akechi needed to know. He grinned, showing his teeth. “How’s this -- you call off your dogs, I’ll put away my phone. Sound fair?”

The three men glanced at each other. Inoue, the interim SIU director, nodded. “Fine. No tricks.” 

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Akechi made a point of closing the metaverse app and stowing the phone inside his jacket. 

Once the device was in his pocket, Inoue gave a curt nod to the guards, dismissing them. 

“Much better,” Akechi said, once they were alone.

“What do you want?” Murata asked, folding his arms.

“What do any of us want, really? A chance for happiness and fulfillment, a life without fear. Is that so much to ask?” Akechi sank into a side chair without being asked, casually crossing his legs and lacing his hands behind his head.

“I don’t think you understand your situation,” Inoue scowled. “What makes you even think you’ll walk out of this building again? You’re already dead, as far as I’m concerned.”

“You don’t think I came here without insurance, did you? I’ve been in touch with a reporter. I gave her a nice long interview -- we even recorded it. One of my best performances, I do have to say. Goro Akechi, Ace Detective, fakes his own death to expose the corrupt officials keeping the beloved Shido hostage.” Akechi waved his hands in the air as if reading a marquee. 

With a happy sigh, Akechi continued, “Anyway, I have an email queued up to send in the morning giving my final permission for the interview to run. Unless I cancel it, her article, and the interview, go live.” It was a complete fabrication, but Akechi was relatively certain they would buy it. In fact, if he’d had more time to prepare, he would have done exactly as he described.

The men shifted uncomfortably. “You could be bluffing,” Murata said.

Akechi laughed. “Yes, because I’m  _ so  _ scared of media appearances. Look, you should be grateful I’m even giving you an opportunity here. You  _ do  _ know that the public is growing restless, yes? You can’t keep up this sickness ruse forever. The people want their beloved savior. You’d best find a way to pivot, and soon, before the conspiracy theories get out of your control.” 

“Yes but why are you _ here?”  _ Hirano asked, a hint of desperation in his voice.

Akechi smirked. “At nine a.m. tomorrow morning, Ren Amamiya will present himself to Family Court for arrest, as a result of violating his parole. He will claim that all of his activities as a Phantom Thief were conducted alone. He will also provide a multitude of details regarding Masayashi Shido’s crimes. This time, he will not be drugged or beaten within an inch of his life; one has to assume he will be that much more lucid and communicative. Imagine all the stories he might tell, directly into the record. If you think Amamiya-san won’t gladly spend a few months in confinement to take Shido and the rest of you down, you’re sadly mistaken.”

The men looked at each other in confusion. Then Inoue pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fucking Sae-san,” he muttered. “This sounds like her work.”

“Why are you telling us this? We know all about your...  _ involvement  _ with him,” Murata sniffed. “You can’t possibly think we’d believe you’re double crossing him.”

Akechi snorted. “Of course not. I’m telling you this because I want you to know what’s at stake. You see, I can take care of this little issue for you. For a price, of course.”

“Of course.” Hirano crooked an eyebrow.

“First, let me tell you what I’m offering. If you agree to my terms, new evidence will be forthcoming regarding the circumstances of Amamiya-san’s original parole. That evidence will clear Amamiya-san’s name. In which case, there will be no need for questioning, and therefore nothing in the record for Sae-san to pounce on.”

“And your terms?”

“Quite amenable, I’m sure you’ll agree. First, at such time that the exculpatory evidence comes forth, the matter of the Phantom Thieves will be closed. No further action by law enforcement and no retribution through unofficial channels. And second....” Akechi paused.

“For fuck’s sake, just spit it out,” Inoue said.

Akechi dropped his pleasant demeanor, his face going stony. “You let me see my father. Alone. Now.”

All three men looked taken aback, clearly surprised that Akechi hadn’t asked for more. “Is that it?” the scientist asked.

“And what’s to stop the reporter from releasing the interview anyway?” Inoue asked. 

“Because there are only two copies of the recording. One is on my phone, and the other is on a thumb drive in a coin locker. The email which will go out tomorrow has the locker code.” Akechi tilted his head as if something occurred to him. “How about I sweeten the deal -- once I’m...  _ done  _ with my father,” Akechi said, leaving a pointed pause in his phrase, “I’ll hand over my phone. You can even keep it -- call it a gesture of good will. My time as Shido’s errand boy is over. You can find someone else to make use of the metaverse app.”

Murata jerked his head towards the back of the room. There was a brief conversation, but Akechi knew the result was all but decided. Gaining access to Akechi’s phone was the true prize, well worth letting Ren walk free; by seeming to throw it in at the end, Akechi hoped they would underestimate him. No doubt they thought him a lovesick teenager, someone not in his right mind. Granted, Akechi  _ was  _ a lovesick teenager, but that made him more dangerous, not less. 

As expected, the whispered conference was brief. “Fine,” Hirano said, gesturing Akechi through a side door. “Follow me.”

The wing in which Shido was being held was every bit as sumptuous as Akechi anticipated. It made Akechi faintly sick to think this was the only punishment Shido might ever face. 

That was, until he saw the man in question.

Although it was only a week since the election, Shido was a shell of his former self. Unshaven, pale, with deep shadows under his eyes, it looked as though he hadn’t slept in days. He sat in an armchair in a dark room, the only source of light a huge television.

As Akechi approached, Shido squinted at him. “Who is it?” His voice, now almost petulant, no longer had the ring of command. 

“Hello father,” Akechi said, stepping into the circle of light. 

Shido shied away, pressing himself into the chair as he fumbled to turn on the lamp on the side table. “Akechi?” The fear in his voice was palpable.

The sound no longer held the satisfaction Akechi once craved. Oh, to be sure, Akechi did find it a  _ little  _ gratifying, but mostly it was just pathetic. 

Akechi sat on one of the other chairs as Shido clicked off the television. “So this is how the Prime Minister spends his days, I see.”

“I tried,” Shido said at once. “I tried to confess but they don’t  _ listen.  _ They say I’m sick but I’m not, I’m  _ not.”  _

Akechi clucked his tongue. “They’re holding you captive, then? You’re a prisoner here?” He knew the answer, but he needed Shido to say it.

“Yes. I can’t even contact the police to turn myself in for my crimes.” Shido shook his head. “They’re all implicated -- you of all people should know.”

Akechi raised his eyebrows. “Oh, I do indeed. How long until they decide you’ll have a heart attack, do you think?”

Shido clutched his chest. “Is -- is that why you’re here?”

“Not at all,” Akechi said. “I’m here because on the night of February 26th, in a drunken stupor, you assaulted a young woman in the street. A teenager came running to her defense. You took a swing at him, lost your balance, and hit your forehead on a bollard. You then threatened the young woman into giving a false statement to the police. The teenager was sued for assault and given a year’s probation.”

Shido blinked rapidly, his hand going to the faint scar over his eyebrow. “Ayane Matsunaga,” he murmured. “I met her in Akita at a club. She was one of the musicians. I convinced her to let me give her a ride back to her home in that little town.” Then he slumped in his chair. “But in the car, she rejected me. I got angry. The rest... I hardly remember it,” he said, his voice heavy with regret. “I only remember being furious at that kid for ruining things.”

“Spurred by the injustice of his situation, that ‘kid’, as you call him, went on to become the leader of the Phantom Thieves,” Akechi continued. 

Shido’s head shot up.  _ “What?” _

“He’s also... my mate,” Akechi said, trying to sound matter-of-fact about it. “I’m the one who enabled him to escape from custody.”

**_“WHAT??”_ ** Shido stared at him, his mouth hanging open in shock. 

Akechi let the shrapnel from that particular bombshell settle for a few seconds before he changed the subject. “You know, it would have been so easy for you. My mother would have been happy with the tiniest scraps of attention. You wouldn’t have needed to acknowledge me at all. Just a birthday card and a few thousand yen now and again and my mother would never have given up hope. But you couldn’t even spare that, could you. Couldn’t even tell your assistant’s assistant to go through the motions to keep her happy.” He shook his head, still marveling in disbelief and old pain.

“I’m sorry,” Shido whispered. “I’m a monster.”

“And I’m a fool,” Akechi said. “I worked so hard to take you down. I couldn’t wait to tell you I was your son. But you knew the whole time. The whole  _ fucking  _ time.” Despite his best efforts, his voice began to shake.

“Son, believe me, I --”

“DON’T call me that,” Akechi snapped, leaping to his feet, his hands balling into fists. “You didn’t earn the right.”

Shido cast his eyes down. “Of course.”

Akechi forced himself to take a breath, loosening his fingers. He’d gotten what he came for. Staying longer would only invite complications. He pivoted on his heel, taking a step towards the door.

Shido got to his feet. “Wait, are you leaving? Is that it?” 

“What else is there?” Akechi threw the words over his shoulder.

“Wait!” Shido took a few steps closer. “Please.”

Akechi knew something like this might happen, but experiencing it was something else entirely. Despite everything, he stopped. “What is it?”

“You -- were you there? Did you -- did you help to change my heart?” 

Akechi turned. “Obviously.” 

Shido nodded. He straightened his posture, tugging his wrinkled shirt into place; despite the stubble and bags under his eyes, he almost looked like himself again. But there was something different in his face. The pride he once had for himself was now reflected outward, towards the young man standing before him, stubbornly refusing to tremble.

Towards his son.

“Thank you,” Shido said. He bowed deeply and elegantly. “You freed me from myself. I will never be able to repay you.”

There were any number of ways Akechi could have replied.  _ That’s right, you won’t  _ was good, or perhaps  _ Don’t even try.  _ Best of all would have been  _ I didn’t do it for you. _

But this wasn’t a TV drama, where a snappy comeback rolls off the tongue. Instead, it was all Akechi could do to nod and turn to go once more.

“Will you visit again?” Shido called after him.

“I don’t know,” Akechi replied, his hand raised to knock on the door so the guard could let him out. After a pause that felt like a lifetime, he said, “Maybe.”

Then Akechi rapped on the door before he could have any second thoughts.

After that, it was child’s play. Shido’s associates were so desperate to get their hands on Akechi’s phone that they barely gave him a second glance as he boarded the elevator to leave. Which was good; he didn’t want to be there once they had a chance to examine it properly. 

Akechi made his way to the train station, heading straight for the coin lockers. He was fairly certain he was being followed, so it would make sense for him to retrieve the thumb drive he’d supposedly hidden there. 

But the locker contained a duffel bag with the clothes Ren loaned him and a phone. His  _ actual  _ phone, to be precise. He sent a quick text to Futaba; the decoy metaverse app she’d sent to the burner phone he bought earlier that evening worked like a charm. Not only had it fooled Shido’s associates, it recorded the audio of Akechi’s conversation and sent the file to Akechi’s real phone for safekeeping. 

Her reply came right away.  _ awesome you want me to nuke the burner too?  _

_ If you would be so kind  _

_ Ace Detective is so polite! Have fun in Inaba. We’re counting on you! _

Akechi smiled at his phone. Apparently Ren had guessed the details of Akechi’s plan and shared it with the others. Well, better that then for Ren to simply disappear into police custody without warning, Akechi figured. 

There was just enough time to change in the bathroom and buy an overnight bus ticket to Akita. From there, Akechi could catch a local train to Inaba. As he settled into his seat, a text from Ren came in.  _ How’d it go? Futaba said she did some phone magic. _

_ I got the info and evidence I needed,  _ Akechi texted back. As the adrenaline from the encounter began to wear off, he realized he was exhausted. 

_ did you see him _

Akechi hesitated a long time before replying.  _ yes. and before you ask, I’m fine.  _

_ I know you’re fine. I wish I was there anyway.  _

It took a deep, careful breath for Akechi to hold himself together.  _ you can just text me some euphemisms for penis if it helps _

In reply, his screen filled with eggplant emojis.

Grinning reluctantly, Akechi wrote back  _ I guess I deserved that. Be careful tomorrow.  _

_ You too <3  _

Akechi stared at the heart emoji, paralyzed. Finally he thumbed through the menu, intending to send one back. 

There were so many hearts, though, all of them a little different. Did they all have different meanings? Akechi had never needed to use one before. Overwhelmed, he picked the one that looked the closest to the symbol Ren used and sent it.

There was no immediate response, so Akechi stowed his phone. As much as he’d accomplished tonight, he still had to find Ayane Matsunaga and convince her to come forward with a statement to the police. Hopefully the audio he’d recorded was enough to implicate Shido’s associates, at least. Though Akechi intended to think about it further, his fatigue overcame any other concerns. As the bus trundled out of the city, he stared out the window at the streetlights until finally he fell into a fitful slumber. 

* * *

Spending one night on a bus was tolerable. If Akechi hadn’t spent the day fighting and then dealing with Shido and his cronies, it would have felt almost like an adventure.

Spending a  _ second _ night on a bus was absolute hell. Akechi spent Christmas tracking down Ayane Matsunaga and convincing her to come forth and clear Ren’s name. It went very well, not that Akechi expected anything less. 

And so Akechi returned to Tokyo the following night. It was still dark when the bus rolled into the station just after six in the morning. Akechi was beyond exhausted, almost delirious from two nights of fitful slumber on a moving vehicle. On top of that, he desperately needed a shower.

Blinking the sand out of his eyes, he shuffled off the bus, wincing as the cold air hit him in the face. It would take about another half hour to take the train back to Yongenjaya, but he would still arrive before Sojiro opened Leblanc. Unlike Ren, Akechi didn’t have a key to the cafe. Perhaps he could wait in the laundromat across the street. It wasn’t the warmest spot, but at the very least, Akechi could run a dryer if he got too cold. 

It occurred to him then that he was functionally homeless. A wave of self-pity washed over him, fueled in no small part by his exhaustion. Would Sojiro let him stay at Leblanc without Ren? Where else could he go? Perhaps Sae-san could make a reservation for him through airbnb, the way she had done for Ren while Akechi was recovering. If not... if not....

A shout grabbed his attention. “Eyyy! There he is!” 

Squinting in confusion, he turned to see the Phantom Thieves, all gathered at the stairs leading down to the subway. They waved and called out to him, grinning and smiling. Futaba even had a handmade sign that said “Akechi is the Bestie”.

Maybe it was just the fatigue, but Akechi felt his eyes start to sting. Never, in all of his time as an erstwhile celebrity, had he felt so welcomed and wanted. “What -- how did -- why --”

Makoto beamed. “Sis told me that Matsunaga-san went to her local precinct last night to give a statement. She’s sure it will be enough to clear Ren. He’ll probably be released today, as soon as a judge signs off on it.”

“Woooo way to go Akechi-kun!” Morgana yelled. “You saved our guy again!”

Akechi didn’t know what to say or do. “You didn’t have to come all this way to meet me,” he mumbled. 

“Are you kiddin’? ‘Course we did. Anyway, knew you’d be tired ‘n’ shit, so we’re here to take you to breakfast,” Ryuji said.

“Pancakes!” Ann squealed, clapping. “I’m soooo excited.”

Akechi was simply too tired to comprehend what was happening. “You’re... taking me out for pancakes?”

“C’mon, we found the perfect place,” Futaba said, grabbing him by the arm and leading him away.

The ‘perfect’ place turned out to merely be ‘the only place open at the crack of dawn', also known as the diner on Central Street. Still, as they crowded around the biggest table in the empty restaurant, Akechi was overwhelmed. 

“So what was Inaba like?” Makoto asked him. 

“Charming.” Akechi said, stifling a yawn. “Picturesque, I suppose.” He took a sip of his coffee; it was fairly terrible compared to Leblanc, but it was hot and caffeinated. 

“Was it difficult to find Matsunaga-san?” Haru asked.

“Not in the slightest,” Akechi said. “Small towns are incredibly gossipy.” He winced as the words came out of his mouth, especially since Futaba snorted. “Also Inaba was home to Naoto Shirogane when she was our age. They were accustomed to young detectives, I think.”

“Oh, the Detective Prince! I had no idea,” Makoto said. 

“Apparently Matsunaga-san knows her. They went to school together, in fact.” Akechi frowned slightly. As much as he wished he could take credit for convincing Matsunaga to come forward against Shido, it seemed the events of her past played an important role in her decision. 

_ The way you talk about Amamiya-kun, it reminds me of someone I knew, _ she said.  _ I can’t believe I forgot something so important. _ Matsunaga’s gaze was far away, then it suddenly snapped back to the present. She gave Akechi a wry smile.  _ Never take your friends for granted,  _ she told him.

At the time, Akechi had merely smiled and nodded, not bothering to correct her misconception that he had friends. But looking around the table... was it possible he was wrong?

“So Akechi-kun, since you can't go back to your school and stuff, how about you transfer to Shujin?” Ryuji stuffed a huge bite of pancake into his mouth.

“Yeah!” Ann agreed. “You can make it happen, right, Ms. Student Council President?”

Makoto rolled her eyes. “I don’t have any say over transfers,” she said. “But I think Kawakami-san might be able to put in a good word.”

Akechi blinked rapidly in confusion. “You  _ want  _ me to come to your school?”

“Why not? After everything that’s happened this year, honestly, you’ll barely be noticeable,” Ann said. 

“Thanks,” Akechi drawled. It wasn’t that he meant to sound ungrateful, but exhaustion and confusion knocked all the finesse off his normal panache. “Sorry,” he added. “It’s just that no one has ever....” He wiped his face with his hand, unsure of what he wanted to say.

“Hey man, we get it,” Ryuji said. “It’s weird, havin’ friends and all.”

“Yeah,” Futaba added. “Honestly, who’d’ve ever thought I’d be able to do all this? Took a lot of grinding but it was totally worth the skill perks.”

Akechi had no idea what those words meant in the current context, but he got the gist. “I... I suppose I could come to Shujin. Honestly, I’m so far behind in my studies, I’m not sure I’ll be able to catch up.”

“We can help!” Ann said, bubbling over with enthusiasm. 

“Akechi-kun is a year ahead of you,” Yusuke pointed out. 

“Oh right.” Ann deflated a little, but then she rallied. “But Mako-chan and Haru-chan can help! You guys are like,  _ super  _ smart. It’ll be fine!”

Taking a bite of his pancake, Akechi considered it. The concept of having friends at all, much less at school, was hard to wrap his mind around. 

“Yeah plus if you’re there, I bet Ren-ren won’t go back to Inaba,” Ryuji said. 

Akechi felt his cheeks flush. “Ah.”

“Ryuji!” Ann punched him in the arm.

“No, no, it’s fine. I understand.” Akechi gave a tight smile which he didn’t feel. 

“I don’t,” Yusuke said. “Did I miss something?”

“Akechi-kun thinks we only want him to come to Shujin to keep Ren here. But that’s not true at all.” Of all people, it was Haru who spoke up. “I know how isolating it can be to attend school without having friends,” she continued. “Thanks to Mona-chan, I was lucky enough to meet all everyone here, and my life is so much richer for it. Why shouldn’t we want the same for you, after all you’ve done for us?”

Helplessly, Akechi stared at her. He felt his eyes start to sting again. Blinking rapidly, he cleared his throat. “Well, I have to go to school  _ somewhere,”  _ he said. “I suppose transferring to Shujin wouldn’t be so bad.”

Everyone cheered. Akechi couldn’t help but smile, even as the servers peered at them in disapproval for making so much noise. Well, it wasn’t as if they were bothering the other customers.

The rest of breakfast was a blur, mostly because Akechi could barely keep his eyes open. He had a vague recollection of taking the train back to Yongenjaya with Futaba, then mumbling a few words of thanks as Sojiro let him into Leblanc just before the cafe was set to open. He stumbled up to the attic and all but collapsed on the bed, fully clothed.

It felt like only a few minutes later as a hand rubbed his shoulder, gently rousing Akechi awake. “Hey, beautiful.”

“Ren?” Akechi rubbed his eyes. “You’re back already?”

Ren tilted his head. “It’s almost six p.m.,” he said gently. 

“What, really?” Akechi frowned, pushing up to his elbows. “Why am I smelling fried chicken?”

Ren shrugged. “Might’ve picked some up on my way back from the station,” he admitted.

Akechi groaned, clucking his tongue. “That was  _ my  _ job.”

“I’d say you did more than enough. Makoto said the recording you gave Sae-san enabled her to force the interim SIU director step down. Now she’ll be free to investigate Shido properly, not to mention those other assholes.”

“That was fast.” Akechi sat up. 

“Makoto also said you were transferring to Shujin.”

Huffing, Akechi rolled his eyes. “Did she.”

“She did.” Ren grinned ear-to-ear.

Even though they no longer tried to one-up the other in competition, Akechi still felt that he lost this round, somehow. “I  _ might  _ be  _ considering  _ it.”

“Mmm, I see,” Ren said, nodding in mock seriousness. “Well I think it’s a fabulous idea.”

“Do you?” Akechi’s voice caught.

“I do. I also talked to Sojiro about where you could stay. Actually --” Ren said, before Akechi could object, “he offered. So, you know, if you want to stay here, you can. If you want to find another place, that’s fine too.”

“What about you?”

Ren blinked. “What about me?”

“Are you going home? There’s no reason for you to stay, after all. You’re not on probation anymore.”

Squinting in disbelief, Ren tilted his head. “No reason for me to stay, huh? You can’t think of any reason I might want to stay here?”

Akechi felt his heart thudding. “Maybe one.”

The corner of Ren’s mouth curled up. “I mean, I get all the free curry I can eat here. Inaba can’t compete with that.”

Tutting, Akechi smacked him with a pillow. “You are such an asshole,” he laughed. 

Ren grinned. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got lots of reasons to stay. This is where I belong.” He reached out and tucked a stray lock of hair behind Akechi’s ear. “You cut your hair. It looks good.”

Akechi leaned into the touch. “I thought you liked it long?”

“I like it any way you wear it.”

For a moment, they stared at each other. “Can I really stay with you here?” Akechi whispered.

Ren nodded. “You can do whatever you want.” He paused. “I hope you want to eat some fried chicken though, because I’m starving.”

Akechi snorted. “Yeah, me too. Aside from the pancakes this morning, I haven’t had anything but a bento from Junes.”

Ren rolled his eyes as he stood. “You did  _ not  _ go to Junes,” he said, holding out a hand to help Akechi up.

“It was the only place open,” Akechi protested, getting to his feet.

“You don’t have to tell me,” Ren said, unpacking the bag of Kentucky Fried Chicken. “I wasn’t kidding about having lots of reasons to stay. You’re just the biggest, is all.”

Akechi snorted. “I’m more captivating than the food court at Junes. What an honor.”

“Just squeaked into the lead,” Ren winked, helping himself to a drumstick and dipping it into honey. “Photo finish.”

Akechi regarded the table but didn’t take any food, momentarily paralyzed with indecision. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Ren asked, licking a bit of sauce from his thumb.

“I was just thinking....” Akechi trailed off. It wasn’t that he didn’t know his own thoughts, so much as he wasn’t sure he should say them out loud. It still felt foreign to put certain things into words. But maybe it was time to change that. “I was just thinking, I’m not sure I’ve ever been happier.” Immediately, he tensed. It seemed his mind hadn’t yet lost the habit of flinching from Loki. No doubt Loki would have gleefully pointed out how pathetic it was that Akechi’s happiest moment was sharing lukewarm fast food while squatting in an attic with a juvenile delinquent. 

From the sympathy on Ren’s face, he guessed exactly what had just happened. 

To cover the moment, Akechi gave a wan smile as he forced himself to relax. “I suppose that’s rather pathetic.” 

“If so, that means we’re both pathetic,” Ren said quietly. 

Akechi blinked, his cheeks warming. “Are we?”

“Yes,” Ren said, a hint of a smile teasing the curve of his lips.

“Oh. Well. Good.” He paused. “Did they not feed you in jail? Or is there some other reason you’re hogging all the biscuits?”

Ren laughed, scrambling to grab the bag of food before Akechi could get to it. A bit of a tussle broke out, the both of them laughing harder than they should have, jostling the furniture around and making Sojiro yell up the stairs about the ruckus, which just made them laugh more. Eventually they settled enough to eat properly, but they continued to break out into laughter, alternating between stealing food and hand-feeding bites to each other. 

Would the moment last forever? No. Nothing ever did. But there would be more moments, Akechi was sure of that. For the first time in as long as Akechi could remember, he wasn’t thinking about his past, or whether he deserved the redemption he’d been given, or the sacrifices he’d made. He was just happy, and it was more than enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOOOO DONE! I think this is officially my longest fic. What a ride! THANK YOU to everyone who took the time to comment -- I never would have been able to finish this without you! 
> 
> Also, this fic is my own personal "fuck you" to the canon where Ren goes back home instead of staying the rest of high school at Shujin. 😭


End file.
